Why I Want a Wife - Essay Example

 Why I Want a Wife Before nineteenth century, the social life and role of women were associated to domesticity and motherhood only. However in the late nineteenth century with the inauguration of World Wars, the contribution of women in Western society changed dramatically. The feminist movements and industrial contribution during the World Wars enabled women to deem their positions outside of their commonly assumed roles. The presumed role of women in the early nineteenth century society and before; was secondary. They were considered scaffolding for man’s objectives and achievements. The written composition of Judy Brady sheds light on how the role of “Wife” was viewed in the society and what were the main expectations from her. The description of duties and tasks expected of her; make her role unbelievingly intricate and tiresome. Yet, her financial dependency makes her more vulnerable despite of her input in the family rearing. Despite of these presumptions, Women played significant role in domestic and social reforms to nurture society and their children persistently. Judy Brady’s “I want a wife” is a vivid example of how feminism was surging in the nineteenth century and how women realized their place and position in the social life. Judy Brady in her open letter wishes to earn a wife herself. The “Wife” is a key idea here, who is a solution for all her hectic responsibilities of a personal, professional and social life. The author claims that a husband expects to achieve his professional and family life achievements on the bases of his wife’s contribution. He relies on her thoroughly and expects complete support and submission from her whether it’s moral or physical (in terms of Children and domestic responsibilities). “I would like to go back to school so that I can become economically independent, support myself, and, if need be, support those dependent upon me ” (Brady) Simultaneously, from another perspective, the stated lines have been desires of a “Dependent Wife” to become financially self sufficient, so to support herself and her family with the help of her higher degree. The regret of leaving school to earn a good degree is evident and the author claims that with the degree she could earn her freedom (economic stability). She is keen to go out of her house-life to learn and earn. She regards the idea of freedom (carefree life of a breadwinner) and also desires to earn a caretaker (like her husband), who could perform the job of a wife and a mother, while she could pursue her desired endeavours. The author lays emphasis on herself and her desires here (like her husband) and forgets the long term fruitful impact of her participation (as a mother) on the society. Simultaneously, Nancy A. Hewitt provides an apt example from 1824 era, when Amy Kirby a woman of early nineteenth century married a widower and nursed his two orphaned children. Moreover, she supported her husband Isaac Post in such an apt manner that he became the leading merchant of New York City. The economic stability in Isaac Post’s life brought his family many benefits including their ever growing influence into feminist movements. Amy Kirby and her fellow women belonged to Quaker’s community. These farm women eagerly and willingly accepted the roles of domestic wives, so to become free from their public responsibilities (to work at farms). With the work-life (farm) they had to bear domestic abuse and rear children as well. Thus, Quaker women were the first to accept domestic subordination just to relinquish their duties outside of home. Hence, men of 1830-1840 saw an upward incline in their social and economic status, if they were the sole breadwinner of the family. Moreover, when the wives socialized in the community for social support many charity/welfare and feminist organisations successfully emerged (Hewitt, 34). The Rochester Meetings for Woman’s Rights were held for the development and rights of women (White or Black) in the private and public domain. These meetings were organized to highlight the increased influence and participation of women in labor and public pursuits. Similarly, Amy Post was bestowed with the leadership of a Women’s Right campaign, as before her no woman ever gained the position of leadership publically and was accepted by her male counterparts as an ethical and apt choice (Hewitt, 41). Yet, there was bigotry present in the society and women as laborer or workers faced low wage issue in their professional life in the nineteenth century. The author put forth the issue of loyalty of a wife as another claim, which was considered extremely significant in the Church prone society of nineteenth century. “I want a wife who will remain sexually faithful to me so that I do not have to clutter up my intellectual life with jealousies” (Brady). The expectation was not just a social demand, but an ethical one too. The wife who was responsible for upbringing needed a solid character and persistent loyalty for the husband and children. However, this criterion was strictly mentioned for women in the excerpt, as for the opposite gender it was as open path with more access. Thus, she mentions aptly in the following excerpt that how a man views his wife, when he finds a new and better option. “I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with another one” (Brady). Likewise, Nancy A. Hewitt brings the attention of her readers towards the main structure of nineteenth century society, which relied on the sermons of Church. The influence of Church life was not implied by men, but by Quaker women, who deemed that the involvement of elders and ministers will amalgamate their social and personal affairs in more harmonized manner. The involvement of ministers and Churches were introduced in the social context and these ministers were involved to shed light on gender equality of women through the reference of Bible. But later on, the participation of Church become secondary when the ministers started to preach theory which advocated the stance of man and his superiority in every aspect of life. Hence, later on the core theory used to preach equality was “Inner Light” (teachings of Elias Hicks) (Hewitt, 36). He rejected the idea of “original sin” both for man and woman. He emphasized on the notion of rationality with ethical and moral principles to rise above the situation. Hick’s theory rejected the continual presence and influence of Church in the personal lives, but emphasized on the reliance of rationality. “I want a wife who is a good nurturant attendant to my children, who arranges for their schooling” (Brady). Judy Brady has laid emphasis on the participation of child rearing process and how all the nurturing, caring and developmental needs fall in the mother’s domain directly. Children need balance family structure so to become efficient citizens and this is not possible if the father/man shifts complete responsibility of children on the mother. The male participant wants healthy, well-mannered, academically superior and diversely skilled children from the wife, which is not possible as their development is based on the influence of both parents. They deem them as role models even in young age and look up to them to learn and act in their practiced ways. At this point, she is making the readers realize that to receive perfect, one has to input efforts and without participation in child rearing husbands cannot expect to receive loving and submissive sons and daughters. Simultaneously, it is not possible to expect perfect and efficient input from a human, who is tied in many social roles. On the other hand, Nancy A. Hewitt put forth the example of Abigail Bush, who had been a renowned name of WNYASS. Abigail a habitual Churchgoer changed the path of her plan when she married Henry Bush (an abolitionist). After giving birth to five children in a row and caring for them for a decade, Abigail returned to her passion and participated actively in Female Moral Reforms of society in 1830s (Hewitt, 40). Furthermore, she and her husband coordinated and worked for the sole cause of abolition of slavery from the society. Her participation in social reforms was a joint venture, where she performed hand by hand with her husband (Henry Bush joined Quaker dissidents to work for abolition of slavery) and they also took care of their children. The significant fact here was that Bush worked for the fundamental rights of the women (social, civil, economic and religious). Another vivid example of exemplary working wife and mother can be of Sarah Owen, who worked side by side with Amy Post for the Woman’s Rights Conventions. Sarah Owen was married and had several children, but she worked for the equality of woman right for decades. Her achievements included providing care, shelter and jobs to slave and white women, who faced abuse and discrimination. Not only these women were housed, but their children were also taken care of when they were at work. Moreover, Sarah Owen was the first Female store clerk and she took this step to open fresh work opportunities for these deprived women. These Rochester women especially, Sarah Owen not only worked on social reforms, but also raised her sons and daughters in such a way that they were provided equality in education, traveling, speaking, job seeking or acting independently. All her children received similar and unbiased treatment from her (43, Hewitt). Judy Brady’s “I want a wife” is a comic criticism on the expectations from a woman. On the other hand, Nancy A. Hewitt sheds light on the authentic realities of how women contributed in social movements whilst raising children and performing all the social responsibilities as well. Moreover, she also determines that the choice to assume domestic role was of women them self as they wanted to relinquish the harsh services in the public sector. Work cited: Brady, Judy. Columbia.edu. N.p., 1993. Web. 29 Nov. 2014. Top of Form Hewitt, Nancy A. "Feminist Friends: Agrarian Quakers and the Emergence of Woman's Right in America." Feminist Studies. (1986). Print. Bottom of Form Read More