The central thesis of this essay is that the advice column presented in given study is counter normative. It provides advice that may challenge established social norms and ideologies as the advice given is in favor of personal rights and protection of individual expression of the self rather than submitting to an established paradigm of social rules.
In the very first advice question asked, the writer asks for guidance regarding a friend of hers who according to her ‘only goes for hot guys’ her description of her friend as being below average looking or an odd-looking woman which is a cause of concern to her. Although the writer claims that the concern comes from a place of well-meaning love for her friend and going on to add that the friend in question is quiet intelligent and a nice person, she feels that the friend might be internalizing some of the rejection and getting worn out by the constant rejection of her advances from the more unattainable men. The advice column in return is centered on the need of the friend to be an effective support structure instead of being someone who criticizes or singles out her friend and points out her flaws. The advice column encourages the writer to provide a zone of comfort and non-judgmental support for her friend, one that bolsters her positive aspects and qualities and does not focus on the downside of her less than desirable appearance. The need of her friend to date more desirable men than she apparently ‘deserves’ is putting down her own personal ambitions and instead focus is placed on the ability of the friend to come to terms with her own appearance and the dating standards of society around her.
Analysis: The above mentioned question and the subsequent advice is a compelling study of sexual scripts, gender roles and process of socialization. It is interesting to note that in the above question the writer does not have a problem with the dating standards that her friend