Women in Abusive Relationships - Essay Example

? QUALITATIVE RESEARCH ON WOMEN IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS This research focuses on women in abusive relationships in the manner of domestic violence. Such cases are mainly noted in poorly developed relationships that arise from various factors. These factors include mental instability of a spouse, financial in capabilities, past related experiences of a spouse such as child abuse, influence from drug and substance abuse such as excessive alcoholism, criminal related activities by a spouse such as robbery with violence which results in abusive behavior towards the other spouse. These activities are mainly applicable to the male spouse who is mainly looked up to as the head figure thus the provider of the family and the dominant spouse. (Olson LN 2002). INTRODUCTION This research aims at looking into women experiences in domestic abuse. The research aims at providing an insight into the various forms of abuse undergone by women. Such abuse may be in the form of sexual, psychological, physical or financial. Smith, J.A. & Osborn, M. (2003 and their consideration for IPA has made the method suitable for obtaining appropriate and accurate information from willing participants of the research. The reason behind the research is the need to explore the negative effects of domestic abuse on women. The research is intended to explain how and why women in abusive relationships remain close to their partners regardless of the abuse they experience according to an article by Ferraro &Johnson. (Ferraro K, &Johnson J. 1983) This research explores the results of such abuse and how these abused women hav developed several methods of coping with the violence, neglect, insults and torture. By studying women from different cultural backgrounds, we get to see the similarities and differences that may answer any arising questions during the research. METHOD The two women are interviewed in a room that is ensures them of privacy and confidentiality. They are brought in one after the other and are allowed to conceal any information if need be. They are interviewed orally and the interview is recorded. Both interviews are run for thirty minutes and the participants are allowed to leave at their own wish. The information from the recorded interviews is analyzed and recorded on paper as a complete analysis of common themes and any valuable information. Participants The two participants are women from different cultural backgrounds. They are aged between the ages of 30 and 50. The first participant is African while the second one is Asian. Ethical considerations The participants are allowed to answer the questions at their own discretion. If they chose not to then their choice is respected. The questions asked are not too personal and freedom to leave the interview is allowed to the participants. The interviews are private and the recorded interview is confidential. The participants are asked to sign a consent frm before being interviewed. RESULT AND DISCUSSION The first participant of the research is Mary a woman of African descent who has been married to her husband for 23 years. Although to the society their marriage seems to be as fruitful as any there are signs of falsity to this view. Such signs are only visible to those close to Mary or any individual who wishes to scrutinize Mary’s marriage. Mary starts by defining her marriage as a traditional union which she is comfortable being in. With the contemporary society she lives in, such a marriage is old fashioned. However suitable it may seem to be to her she evidently is not happy or as comfortable as she says. When asked what she thinks of her husband and how he treats her occasionally, Mary pauses and sighs to show that there are regrets towards being with the husband. She tries to hide her emotions but eventually they begin to surface. She stares blankly and answers, “He is not that bad, at least he at times cares to buy me flowers although not the type I would wish for”. This thus reveals that the husband might show care but not the appropriate kind that Mary would wish for. Mary continues to go deeper into her feelings and shows despair. When asked if the husband mistreats her in any way, she gives no immediate answer. Mary is troubled of the consequences of what would happen to her and her children if the husband knew that she reveals the dark secrets of her marriage. After a while she bursts into tears and goes into an emotional breakdown. This thus shows the extent to which the abuse has gone. She reveals of how the husband may at times beat her and insult her in the presence of the children. Such behavior she says is common when the husband is from drinking. The heavily drunk spouse batters the wife without reason and demands intercourse without Mary’s consent. Although Mary is tough when it comes to her affairs this situation has torn her apart. (Ferraro K,&Johnson J 1983). Such physical torture has left Mary in a state of depression and psychological trauma. She has lost her desire to maintain her physical appearance and has resulted in only taking care of her husband and her children. The mistreatment also extends to the lack of attention of the husband towards Mary’s wellbeing. Mary reveals of how on several occasions the husband has left her without enough money for her needs and that of the children. Mary’s physical appearance shows neglect as she adorns old clothes. (Ferraro K, & Johnson J.1983). When asked if she was willing to report the incidents to the authorities she shows fear. Such fear would be as a result of several factors. Such are: embarrassment; re-occurrence of the mistreatments; she may be chased away by the husband or unknown consequences of reporting. (Ferraro K,&Johnson J.1983). Anel is of Asian origin and is aged 47 having been married to her husband at a young age of 18 according to their customs. Such customary marriage puts Anel at a tough situation in which total submission towards the husband is required. However young she might have been at the time of the marriage this could not demand for a young husband. Anelwas married off to an aged man of 41 years thus they have been married for 29 years. Such a long period has seen Anel experience so much. Anel was asked to share her marriage experiences which at first she was willing to until she began to repaint her marriage mentally. She began to seem gloomy and distanced from her thought as she recounted the number of times the husband had mistreated her. She told of a time she was pregnant with her fifth child and the husband slapped her and shoved her towards the wall not caring for her situation. Anel physically is slim and seems very fragile. She has born eight children all due to the traditional values the husband has pride in. Anel reveals every account of torture that is both physically and psychologically. At several instances she has been hit with objects in the house such as cooking utensils, she has been slapped and kicked around the house in an inhumane manner, many a times the husband insults her in the presence of visitors and their children. In other situations Anel has been forced to sleep without food, take refuge in her children’s’ rooms or even sleep on the floor in the kitchen. Such mistreatment and torture is what Anel has hidden from the world for all those years. At the time of her marriage she had a youthful figure and healthy features such as bright white eyes as she describes her younger self. However within the years and the unending torture she has grown thin, fragile, her eyes are reddish from the constant crying, her skin is wrinkled from the poor eating patterns. (Taylor Francis 2000). When asked the reasons behind the ruthless treatment from her husband, she stops and gazes away and seems blank not knowing why such events have befallen her all that time. She tries to recount each experience and give reasons but she goes blank each and every time. ”Maybe it is because I do not cook well or fail to iron his clothes on time, it might be that I do not dress properly or I am not good enough for him”. The last cause for her mistreatment as she puts it shows how much this abuse has made her loose her self-appreciation and confidence. She has lost every sense of belonging in the marriage and only views herself as a slave towards her husband, always doing as he demands. (Taylor Francis 2000). Anel seems mentally unstable as a result of the abuse and does not have any reason of mending the marriage. When asked if she was willing to report the incidents to the authorities she looks scared and horrified as she can only imagine of what would become of her. In her society such could not be entertained as the all believe that the husband is always right thus she would not have any hope if she reported. Anel is traumatized from her experiences; she shows sadness and lack of personal acceptance. She fears of what would happen if she left the husband. She mostly fears for her younger children. Analysis on their Experiences Imprisonment For Anel and Mary their marriages have turned into invisible forms of prisons in which they cannot escape even if they had the chance to. Anel views hers as a maximum prison in which she has been sentenced for life without any form of incentive which could make her sentence more tolerable.(Ferraro K, &Johnson J. 1983) She tells of how she cannot escape from it even if she was offered the chance to. To her the marriage is a mandatory stage in her life which she could not have escaped from. She was married off at a young age. To her, the husband has become the prison warden who decides the type of punishment suited for her whenever he pleases. To Mary the situation is much lighter than that of Anel. For her the type of imprisonment she has faced is out of the dependence she has on her husband financially. Without the husband she fears she could not be able to cater for her needs and those of her children. Fear Both Anel and Mary show fear out of the mistreatment and abuse. This is witnessed in how they cannot resort to reporting the abuse to the authorities. They both fear of what would become of them if their spouses knew. They fear for their children thus decide to endure the pain and torture till the children are old enough to take care of themselves. They also fear what the society and mainly what their families would think of them. They fear rejection by their parents and other family members, and being chased away by their spouses thus leaving them helpless. (Lempert L (1996) b) Embarrassment For Mary and Anel, knowledge of their mistreatment and abuse by their spouses by the society would bring shame and disgrace both to them and their families. This would be the case as they are expected to show good behavior and conduct while in their marriage. This thus translates into the fact that the existence of these cases of abuse and mistreatment are asa result of misconduct by them. Also they would be ashamed of the fact that they cannot please their spouses enough for the mistreatment not to continue or arise. This would thus mean that they cannot serve as good examples of wives in their societies. They will be seen as a sign of bad upbringing thus shame to their parents. How they have coped with the abuse State of denial Anel having lived with her husband for 37 years has had a lot to face but however bad the abuse was she has been able to conceal it form the world. This has also been the case with Mary although some of her close relatives and friends know of her experiences. Both women have fallen into a state of denial and thus try to convince themselves and others that they are comfortable with their marriages. They have hidden their deeper emotions and have formed false images of how happy and emotionally attached they are towards their spouses. This denial state has eventually hidden their true feelings and the regret they have in marrying their spouses.(Olson LN 2002) When confronted they try as much as possible to put a smile and tell of the good things their husbands have done for them. This however cannot fully hide their sadness as they pause and show despair. Hope on reformation of spouse Mary having known her husband as loving and caring from the beginning has created a sense of hope on the spouse reforming eventually. To Anel the image created of her husband as caring, calm and wise upon her marriage has remained with her and she has lived with the dream of eventually the abusive husband will transform. Taylor Francis (2000) explains of how this long time hope on the transformation of the spouses into better people has kept women in their marriages. This has also contributed to the reason as to why they have become unwilling to report the cases of abuse to the authorities, or confront their husbands on the issue. Such hopes on reformation has blinded the two women from realizing that such ill treatment will continue if they do not take any action immediately.(Gerhard M 2000). Attachment towards spouse and love for children Anel and Mary have over time developed a strong bond towards their partners thus the attachment has made it possible for them to cope with the abuse. They see the abuse as a disease in their spouses and the emotional attachment cannot allow them to leave their spouses. They see this as a duty to be with their abusive spouses and try to help them bet better. They see themselves as the saviors of their spouses from their unwanted behavior. (Lempert L 1996 ) There is also the deep affection they have towards their children and thus leaving their spouses would have a negative impact on the children. They see the need of the children to grow and develop with a father figure present thus they cannot afford to leave or lose their spouses. Such attachments force them to remain present and experience the abuse as a form of sacrifice towards their loved ones and their marriages.(Lempert L 1996) Conclusion With this research thus it is conclusive that there are various forms of domestic abuse and several reasons behind why they do not end. Anel and Mary serve as examples of what the society has failed to in curbing domestic violence. The attitudes developed by the society towards marriages, the failure to provide refuge and formulate solutions towards such ill treatment have caused the two women to continue with their sufferings. (Lempert L (1996)b) There is the need for the society to intervene in such cases and help the women to escape the mistreatment. Stern action should be taken against such abusive spouses by the authorities. References Ferraro K,&Johnson J.(1983). How women experiencebattering: The process of victimization. SocialProblems, 30: 325-339 Gerhard M (2000). Domestic Violence.Family violence:Conjugal Violence, 63(12): 52-58. Lempert L (1996). Enduring Love: A Grounded FormalTheory of Women’s Experienceof Domestic Violence.Research in Nursing & Health, 24: 270-282. Lempert L (1996). Women’s strategies for survival:Developing agency in abusive relationships. Journalof Family Relations, 11: 269-289 Taylor Francis (2000). Women: An endangered species.Health Care for Women International, 21: 137-138. Olson LN (2002). Exploring common couple violence inheterosexual romantic relationships.Western Journalof Communication, 66(1): 104-128. Smith, J.A. & Osborn, M. (2003).Interpretative phenomenological analysis. In J.A. Smith (Ed.), Qualitative Psychology: A Practical Guide to Methods. London: Sage. Read More