Analysis of the Role of a Counsellor - Essay Example

Reflective analysis of counselling practice task In this essay I will be analysing a counselling session I conducted for fifteen minutes, where I wasthe counsellor analysing whether I was consistent or inconsistent with the client centred theory, exploring the reasons for why I did so. Many a times, in the course of their lives, people find themselves assuming the role of a counsellor. Counselling focuses primarily on highlighting the emotional experiences that affect the client, how the situation in question affects their feelings and what their thoughts are concerning the situation. A counselling session may emphasize on exploration of the clients childhood experiences, which may provide a rightful assessment of the clients reaction to challenging situations. Mostly, after careful analysis of these experiences, the counsellor will consider ways in which the client could adjust these reactions. Effective counselling will allow the client see situations with the much needed clarity essential for making positive steps towards changing their mindset towards challenging situations. The critical aim of counselling is enabling the client arrive at, and make their own decisions and act upon them accordingly, and does not involve any form of advice giving. In understanding the client centred approach, we first have to look at its architect, psychologist Carl Rodgers (1902- 1887) who made enormous steps in expounding his dislike in the way psychology treated people as object of study rather than individuals deserving respect and understanding(Merry, 2002, pg 2). This meant that the counsellor, needed to show attributes such as positive regard, empathy and congruence whenever a client sought help from them. The client centred approach is therefore defined as a precise from of interviewing in which the client only responds to questions asked by the counsellor, more like a direct interview rather than a discussion. Patterson (1985) however outlines a number of characteristics exhibited by the client centred approach that may either promote or limit it as a form of counselling 1. Some of the questions the counselling interviewer asks may pose as intimidating to the client who may not be ready to offer full disclosure at that moment. 2. A client may not have the answers to most questions asked, particularly in the early stages of the interviewing session. 3. Questioning makes the session seem like an leaning process rather than an important process seeking to discover and solve situations A counsellor must have in mind the face that no two clients are similar or share the same train of thought and capability of handling difficult situations and experiences, owing to the fact that the way they will react to a situation is dependent on their personal experiences in the world. Therefore, it is very essential that the counsellor avoids instances of expecting his/her clients to react in a manner they would when faced with a similar situation. The role of a counsellor is primarily to enable the client sightsee various aspects of their lives though talking in an open and free manner. In most cases, talking freely to close friends and family members becomes quite difficult owing to the emotional attachment and fear of judgment. However, since a model counsellor exhibits emotional detachment from the client, opinions are freely shared, resulting to success in the counselling process. The counsellor desists having judgmental attributes and neither will he/she offer any form of advice. The healing and progressive steps all result from the client themselves. The counsellor will give the client a safe environment for airing out his/her grievances, be it anger, resentment guilt or fear. The counsellor will in most times encourage the client to critically observe instances in their lives that prior to the session they had difficulty facing. When I got to the counselling session, I was a little bit frightened, as I did not know what to expect. I was not sure what the client was going to tell me and how I would react to the issues the client will talk about. When I saw the client, she seemed relaxed, but I could tell the client was a little bit sad and troubled. In that instance I became very sympathetic towards her as I felt sorry for the situation she was going through. I was consistent to the client centred approach as such since my sympathy towards her situation proved that I had empathy towards the client. The client started off by telling me she had failed to visit her sister yet she had promised to, and this had resulted to them having a misunderstanding and fallout to an extent that they were not communicating anymore. What was troubling her was that her sister got really mad and didn’t want to talk to her anymore and had even missed visiting her on her son’s birthday. The client seemed at ease and narrated to me how the entire incident occurred and that she didn’t want things to be that way between her and the sister as it was really affecting her in her day to day activities. I listened carefully as she explained to me the story, only responding with shore versions of “hmmm” and nodding which signified that I was still listening and she could continue talking. I understood that it was the role of a counsellor to give her ample time to the client as they speak as it is the client who knows what hurts, what directions to go, what problems are crucial and what experiences have been deeply buried. (Rogers, Kirschenbaum and Henderson, p.13). This was consistent to the client centred approach as it observed the rule of allowing the client to speak as the counsellor listens and they both try to figure out the underlying issue in unison. As the client started narrating her story of how events unfolded leading to her fallout with her sister I couldn’t help but feel sorry. Using knowledge I had about the client centred approach, I put myself in the client’s shoes and tried to look at the situation from her point of view, and it felt terrible. This showed that I was actually beginning to understand what the client was going through. My emotions were taking the better of me at this point however. I felt helpless, as I understood how much the client was in suffering and was unsure of how to or whether I would be able to offer any form of help through the counselling. I was notably quiet during this time and maintained a calm composure as most of what I did was listening. I knew that in order to be a successful counsellor and for the counselling session to be effective I had to create and maintain a very good relationship with the client. ‘Real relationships have an exciting way of being vital and meaningful (Rogers, 2004. p.18). With this in mind, I put on a smile and showed a significant amount of interest to what the client was saying through my body language in a bid to make the client more relaxed and have total trust in me. A good relationship according to the client centred approach would ensure the client talks more openly and truthfully about all the issues that are troubling them and this aspect is very important in the success of a counselling session and also achieving solutions for the problems in the client’s point of view. The client centred theory tends to emphasise choice of words used by the counsellor because building a good relationship with the client largely depend on the perception of both parties. Absence of good relationship between the client and the counsellor limits the quality of service that the client would receive. The societal perception of our attitude or character tends to differ with the individual perception. Moreover, this view tends to vary across the society depending on the interpretation that one would give to certain character traits. For instance, in this case, the client spoke her mind, but she became emotional because of the situation she was describing drove her into the same. The client’s case emotions affected the counsellor. As the client spoke, the counsellor did not only receive the sentiments, but also emotionalised them. Arguably, this approach affected the quality of engagement between the counsellor and the client. Whereas the client centred theory emphasises the need to feel and understand the emotions of the client, emotionalizing the situation may break the client and affect the quality of service that she would receive from the counsellor (Lux, 2010). The equal partner approach tends to influence the attitude of the client towards the expert. Unlike, other behavioural approaches where the distinction between the client and the expert is elaborate, the person centred theory tend to limit the creation of this boundary. Instead, the proponent of the theory contend that the counsellor has the most convenient opportunity of reading the mind of the client when he or she has the chance to behave and think in the same way as the client would have thought when relating to his or her peer. To liberate the client from her past, reaching the same level of understanding is necessary. The engagement between the client and the counsellor should lead the later towards self-actualization. In this case, the obligation of the therapist is to restore the client back to her initial condition before the problem cropped (Joseph & Worsley, 2005). Therefore, the therapist has to help the client depersonalise her relationship with the world and build her self-image. Repairing the dented image is not only difficult, but also takes time. For instance, in the case of this woman, her relationship with the world is presently subjective because she no longer believes in self. She doubts her ability to exist in the world without subjecting her image to what is negative. Depersonalizing the state of the client therefore demands tolerance of the client’s story, getting deep into the client’s condition as well as encouraging the client at her time of emotional needs (Lux, 2010). My nervousness, however, continued to persist as the session continued. This was inconsistent with the client centred approach which requires a counsellor to exhibit confidence and it is only through a show of confidence and relaxation that the client would openly speak out every detail of their problem. It would be very difficult for a client to open up to someone who doesn’t seem confident in what they were doing, or in many instances withhold too much information. I was however observing excellent listening skills and allowed the client ample time to speak. I listened carefully to what the client had to say throughout the session because this was expected of me as a counsellor and this was consistent to the client centred approach. Rogers states in his book It is my purpose to understand the way he feels in his own inner world, to accept him as he is, (Rogers, 2004, p. 109). I agreed with the client that she had her reasons for not visiting her sister which seemed to make us understand each other better. I did not offer any objection to her thoughts and decisions and this really helped me in understanding her situation from her point of view. As the client continued to narrate her story, I showed very little form of judgement towards what she stood for. This was consistent with the client centred approach, which dictated that a counsellor should never judge the client. Instead, I decided to put myself in her shoes and ask myself how I would have reacted when faced with a similar situation and how I would have reacted. It made me understand that faced with the same situation I would have probably done the same thing she did. I did not however have an expectation of how she was supposed to react after the fallout as she showed a great amount of disturbance from something I didn’t see as worthy of crying over. Instead, I understood that we were all different and that was her way of reacting to situations. In one instance however, she explained to me how on going to work she had poured some milk in the back of her seat as a result of the confusion and distress the falling out with her sister had brought to her. She stressed on this point about the milk and in response I told her not to worry for it was just milk. The client seemed uncomfortable about this response. This was inconsistent with the client centred approach since a counsellor needs to accept the client for who they are and accept every aspect of their emotions. To me it seemed as just milk but to the client, the aspect of pouring milk was a very big deal and was disturbing her a lot. In understanding the client however in her decision not to go visit her sister I was consistent with the client centred approach and it allowed me to critically understand and relate to her situation and from that I was able to fully understand the client. At some point, I felt like my lack of confidence during the session would limit its success. I was still very nervous and the thought of my tutor bring present frightened me as I was afraid I would ask or say something that would have offended the client more. This was inconsistent to the approach since I was expecting the client to understand that I was significantly frightened, making it seem like I wanted something from her, while in real sense counselling dictates that it is the client who should expect something from the counsellor. In terms of response, I was very consistent as I responded with “okay” and “hmmmm” as the client was talking and this showed her that I was following hat she was saying. I was very much aware of my feelings throughout the session, be it mood or thoughts. This made me congruent as it showed the client that I was being my true self. I acted in a manner that I normally would when faced with the same situation. I tried to visualize what the client was going through in my own head and this helped me gain a significant understanding to the client’s feelings. As the session progressed I continued inconsistent with theory since I started asking the client to tell me more about her situation. I thought that by asking more questions I would be able to get a better picture of the client’s situation and thus be able to know the course of action I should take to help them. This method of questioning was however inconsistent with the client centred approach because the role of a counsellor does not require the counsellor to press the client with questions. The line of questioning continued making my session more inconsistent and at some point I started to communicate with the client more like a friend than in a professional manner. This showed inconsistence in my approach since In empathising with a client the counsellor leaves aside her own frame of reference and, for the time being, adopts the frame of reference of her client. (Mearns, Thorne and McLeod, 2013. p.57). Throughout the session, I kept provoking the client to share more information with me. I kept on asking “is there anything else you want to share?” “Do you think you should speak to your sister?”as I listened attentively to what the client had to say. This allowed the client to critically assess the situation and ask herself questions that when answered would have provided the important guidelines on the steps she should follow. This mode of questioning was consistent within the client centred approach as it enabled the client sightsee what the problem was and what steps needed to be taken in order to solve the conflict. It also enabled the client to critically observe the course of events that had followed after the fallout and realise that without resolving their issues, the uncomfortable and sad tendencies in her life would continue. At some point, I made the client remember instances about her and her sister and the entire family as a whole and how they were happy together; the client shared how the entire family was always close and how she felt sad of the possibility of Christmas passing without her communicating with her sister. This exploration of childhood and family experience was relevant to the client centred approach as it made the client look at past experiences in her life and realise that it was only through talking that a solution could be achieved. I asked the client “do you think you should speak to your sister?” which she responded that she should and I felt really good since it meant that my session was successful to some extent. I went further to encourage her by words like, “I know how you feel.” This was because I had already put myself in the client’s shoes, and was looking at and understanding the situation from their perspective. At some point, the client started crying and I felt sorrier for her. I kept on consoling her by telling her “don’t worry, things will be better”. This showed encouragement to the client it was very essential as it could show client positive attitudes towards achieving a solution. However, I was still very much emotionally affected by the situation the client was in and this lack of emotional detachment was inconsistent to the approach. I continued asking the client more questions relating to her situation, which she answered but at some point I felt that I had asked the wrong questions because the client just answered in a general manner. This was inconsistent to the approach but the client too had a right to answer questions she felt she was comfortable with. As the session continued I was also able to understand the client more, and in understanding her situation it felt like we shared similar context to the situation. There were instances of silence as the session proceeded, and this moments of silence resulted in me being put into deep thought. This scared me since the silence was a little bit uncomfortable and I didn’t want the client to feel uncomfortable too. I broke the silent with direct questioning which again undermined my consistency in the client centred approach. On completion of the session, I assured the client that things would be alright and offered her a hug, which she warmly accepted. It was important giving her this hug since it showed that I still had empathy towards her and at that moment she seemed at a better state than she was in prior to the session. I encouraged her to communicate with her family and find ways of resolving the conflict that had occurred and assured her that I would be there for her anytime she needed someone to talk to. Since I didn’t speak very much, I was mostly inconsistent on the theory but the little instances I talked I offered encouragement or questioning which are all in consistent with the theory. I maintained good eye contact throughout the session and the client seemed much relieved after talking to me about these issues. References Patterson, C.H., 1985.The Therapeutic Relationship: Foundations for an Eclectic Psychotherapy. Michigan: Brooks Cole. Carl R. Rogers, 1970.The Process of the Encounter Group. New York: Harrow Books. Eagly, A. H., and Chaiken, S. (1993). The psychology of attitudes. Harcourt Brace Jovanovich College Publishers. Joseph, S., & Worsley, R. (2005). Person-Centred Psychopathology: A Positive Psychology of Mental Health. Ross-on Wye: PCCS Books. Lux, M. (2010). The Magic of Encounter: The Person Centred approach and the neurosciences. Person Centred and Experiential Psychotherapies 9(4), 247-89. Hewstone, M., and Stroebe, W., 2001.3rd Ed Introduction to Social Psychology. Oxford: Blackwell Publishers. Hogg, M., and Vaughan, G., 2005.Social Psychology (4th edition). London: Prentice-Hall. Katz, D., 1960.  Public opinion quarterly, 24, 163 - 204. LaPiere, R. T., 1934. Attitudes vs. Actions. Social Forces, 13, 230-237. Merry, T., 2002.Learning and being in person centred counselling. 2nd edition. Herefordshire: PCCS Books Ltd Appendix Transcript Client: So I guess what I want to talk about is something I have been trying to work through it’s to do with my sister who lives in London Counsellor (Me) hmmm Client: she is younger than me and I had to arrange to go and stay with her. But we were going on holidays on Wednesday so I arranged to go and see her on Saturday and she everything was getting on top of me like boys weren’t sleeping and I was really tired and was somehow getting emotional, and then I said to her look I can’t come…… I have got my train ticket but it took a lot for me to say to her I can’t come….. (Me) hmmmmm Client: But I felt like I needed to put myself first in that situation so that was that hmmmmmm so, And then she send me a message saying emm ...oh..oh ...ahh.. What have I done to deserve a sister like you? Who lets you down all the time and this is the third time you have let me down and um... what have I done to deserve this treatment from you? You are the horrible and are selfish through and through there is only one word for you and that selfish ummmm…..so it really upset me (Me) hmmmm Client: I felt strong enough to stand by my decision that I shouldn’t go until oh well I didn’t go but until I spoke to my mum and dad about it (Me) hmmmmmmm Client: emmmmm and my dad was like ohhhhh you need to apologize to her you have really hurt her because you didn’t go (Me) hmmmmmm Client: hmmmmmm, emmmmm (Me) right I see Client: Ahhhh it’s like --- then it’s like it’s all blown into a massive argument all because I didn’t go to London ammmmmmm then silence ……….. (Me) hmmmmmm I see don’t worry Client: So at the end I ended up apologizing to keep my dad happy my mum happy and my 86 years old grandma ohhhhhhhahhh (Me) uhmmmm Client: hmmmmm then it was my little boy’s birthday and she hasn’t seen me or spoke to me since what happen and that was like in august so it’s like a while hmmmmm (Me) hmmmmmm Client: ohhhh then she called me and said ohhhhhh you haven’t even phoned me and said thank you for his presents and I said to her it was nothing I have just been busy and I was like thank you but my sister replied ohhhhh it means nothing now ohhhh then in the morning silence… (Me) hmmmm Client: my grandma rang and had a go at me ahhhhh and I have been trying to talk to my mum so I can say to her that I feel that I can’t be myself and it’s like I am trying and pretending to be somebody else to make them happy or to keep them together or hmmmm.. (Me) hmmmmmm Client: and it took a lot for me to be assertive and say I can’t come and my mum sort of said ohhhhh well, that’s not really assertive is it because you offended Rachel and you have hurt her so now/…. Just the like thought of Christmas (Me) ohhhhh I see Client: so now the thought of Christmas just makes me feel like running away from everyone and just starting again it’s really hard ……. (Silence for few seconds) (The client talks so I really don’t know what to do I really don’t) Me (counsellor): Do you think you should speak to your sister Client: silence for few seconds Client: Emmm I kind of tired but then deep down I feel really hurt really really hurt and I feel like that things now will never be the same because (few seconds silence)..... Me: hmmmmmmm so Client: so yeah I feel really hurt I feel that I can’t and I can only pretend for so long but now I feel that I have come to a point where I can’t pretend anymore I have apologized but I think ....... no matter what I say to her and what she says to me won’t change anything now silence ………….. Client: silence for few second ……. Me: hmmmmmm okay Client: so that’s that Client: silence …… Me: why do you feel this way? Client: ............mmmn Client: so just the thought of Christmas and everything makes me feel sick on top of having Alis and Lucus stressing me……… Silence for 30 seconds Me: is there anything else you would like to share with me? Silence for 20 seconds Client: I don’t think so it’s just that I feel like that I have and I like to be assertive and it’s a really big step for me and to say that to my sister that I am not going and I feel that it all just back fired on me so I may as well carry on putting up with it and not saying to anyone about how I feel Me: hmmmm no you should talk to someone about it Client: I feel that a lot or the time I am incongruent I feel like what I am doing, what I am saying is totally different and I feel that’s the part why am I in depression, because you can live with the life like that forever…. Me: cleared throat hmmmm I know what you mean Then silence for 30 seconds Me: hmmm okay then so tell me Client: I really don’t want to live like that forever I want to be able to say what I feel and….. Silence for 20 seconds Me: I understand Client: but I also feel that I can’t do it or deal with it I really can’t deal with taking that step to deal with that all and function daily Then a laugh from the client Silence for 10 seconds Me: right hmmm Client: I feel really tired now I can’t even tell you how tired I feel it’s like this morning I spilt because I was rushing boys were arguing so I was like Alis you sit at the front and Lucus you sit on the back so when I am like this I try to control something Me: yeah hmmm I see Client: So it’s my diet like now I am on shakes diet so this morning I decided to put my shake in my bag then put it on the car seat at the back but when I got here I realized there was soya milk all over my car seat, all over in my bag and all over my books but I am just too tired too too tired to even go home and sort it all out ahhhhhhh its just errrrrrrr and I know it sounds like nothing but for me it’s a big deal Me: ohhhhh that’s Client: so yea then crying at this point being emotional Me: gave the client a tissues Client: told me not to be upset Me: I hope everything gets better for you I really hope it does Client: oh well thank you Me: smile Client: I will be okay and get through it (laugh) Silence for 20 seconds Client: errrrr it’s just soya milk I know it’s a small thing I try not to get to me Silence for few seconds Me: it was just a drink don’t worry about it Client: well that’s what happened it’s like everything kind a snowballs I think it made me feel that I don’t know what to do ohhhh well I think I do know what to do but it’s just dealing with it and doing it but its easy not to deal with it. Silence for 20 seconds Sniffing sound Me: so why don’t you tell me Client: ohhhh I don’t know what else to say otherwise I feel like that I will totally break down and won’t be able to function Me: but you do have your family your kids to look forward to even though it’s Christmas you have your kids and that’s the biggest thing you have Client: I know I got my boys but I feel like it’s all fake that’s just how I feel because that’s how I feel do you know it feels it’s all pretend Silences for 15 minutes Sniffing sound crying Me: you have to be strong Client: I think I am just scared to let it all go and deal with it because I am not in a position to do it Me: hmmmmm I see Client: crying wiping tears Me: I hope everything sorts out between you and your family and you have a great Christmas Client: I will Silence for few seconds Client: do you know I feel like I will have good Christmas for boys because it’s not their fault Me: I really hope you do Silence for few seconds Client: And I don’t know why what do you have to say about ……. Client......................(sob) Time over Me: do you feel better, take some water. Client: No...... I don’t need one Me: I don’t know what to say call you family Client: I think I need to go home and sleep to off Me: got up and gave the client a hug and said you will be okay and get through this please don’t worry when ever you feel like you need to talk to someone I’ll be there Read More