There are people who just can’t live without using others. Instead of getting mad and furious each time we realize someone has manipulated us, we could become aware and calm, not letting anyone touch our psyche. The first step is awareness. So, let’s discover 5 most widespread habits of all manipulators together.
They are ready to hook us with a nice talk and empathy. We start trusting manipulators and get attached to them, which makes it possible for them to use us emotionally even if we realize or start realizing the actual reason for them to be in any kind of relationship with us.
It sounds almost impossible, unrealistic, but emotional manipulators will most certainly try to make you look like a bad guy, and they will use all the possible methods. Sometimes it comes to such a level of absurdity that you actually start thinking you have done it all wrong, it’s your fault. In fact, it’s the mere result of their persistent and well-planned (though sometimes unintentional) influence on your mental state.
The only way to end it once and for all is to write down or record all the core points they make. Next time they change their words or claim ‘they have never said such thing, ever you will be able just to smile and show them what you got in your notebook or on-the-record.
You’ll see how quickly they get annoyed and dismayed, when it’s not about someone’s bad memory or ‘opinions’ anymore – now all this is going to be about facts only.
Manipulators love making you wait, they just love it. Not answering your calls, text messages, emails, ignoring any other form of communication you are trying to use to contact them – all of it on purpose. Why? Well, pretty simple, they aim to ruin your confidence, make you think of what you have done wrong, make you doubt your memory, yourself, everything. Just don’t dig too deep into your mind; if you can’t find a reason for their silence – perhaps, there is none.
Think of it: someone asking you general, unclear questions, trying to understand your basic behavioral and thinking patterns. Sounds familiar? Right, it’s a common sales tactics – to catch someone in the moment of rush, to establish a short contact, to palm their product off to you, and to let you go only after all that has already happened. Just don’t fall into their hands, leave immediately.
They disappear when everybody needs them, they just flee their responsibilities. The manipulator mostly uses this strategy to threaten you and demand something in return. When things get tough, one just fades away till you beg for help. You might forget that no one is really omnipotent or indispensable as there is just too much work to finish until the deadline, or as the responsibility level is so high that you need someone’s support right now. Just don’t let this knowledge out of your head: no one is omnipotent, no one is indispensable.
The main knowledge you need to keep in mind not to fall a victim of the manipulator is that common sense is on your side. Just stick to it and if you feel that there is something wrong with what another person is doing – check it thoroughly. Invest your time now not to lose much more of it in the future.