Intercultural and Interracial Marriages and Counseling - Coursework Example

Intercultural Interracial Marriages and Counseling s Intercultural marriages has become a wide-spread event during the last years. There are many ways and resources, which help people, find their second half in another country. Intercultural marriage has become a modern trend, as nowadays, many people consider it as more reliable and prestigious, than the national marriages. The willing of men and women to find their love and create an international family predetermined the emergence of various marriage agencies. There are, of course, some stereotypes, which prevent people from international marriages. However, this problem can be discussed from different angles. The aim of this work is to analyze intercultural / interracial marriages as a psychological phenomenon and describe their peculiarities. “The most common forms of studies on interethnic and interracial relationships focus on one member of the relationship but often gather a wealth of important information” (Gains, Stanley O., 2005). This paper also contains the description of the main problems, appearing in such marriages and the ways of their resolution. Interracial marriages is a natural social phenomenon. “Of the adjectives cultural, ethnic, linguistic, national, and religious, the use of cultural can encompass all the other meanings. This means that the couples in this study can be of various ethnic, linguistic, national, and religious origins. In this way intercultural does not impose any specific significance, nor does it eliminate any possible implications. The intercultural couples in this study are chosen across national boundaries. By isolating the international aspect of intercultural it is hoped to discover the more inclusive uses of the term” (Cools, Carine, 2011). Interracial marriages are the consequence of the existence of a certain common social and cultural space, represented by the communication between different peoples. “About 15% of all new marriages in the United States in 2010 were between spouses of a different race or ethnicity from one another, more than double the share in 1980 (6.7%). Among all newlyweds in 2010, 9% of whites, 17% of blacks, 26% of Hispanics and 28% of Asians married out. Looking at all married couples in 2010, regardless of when they married, the share of intermarriages reached an all-time high of 8.4%. In 1980, that share was just 3.2%” (Wang, Wendy, 2012). Intercultural marriages create families, which reflect the processes of integration and natural assimilation. Each interracial family is the ethno-cultural phenomenon, with a particular and unique identity. Interethnic marriage is a social and psychological education with a complex, contradictory and not always predictable dynamics. It is considered as an alternative to mono-ethnic marriage, which contains both the distinct advantages of matrimony couple of different ethnic origin and the potential threat to its stability, including family crises. “Intercultural marriages — marriages between people of different faiths, races, ethnicities and geographic regions — have become commonplace in American society” (Kahlenberg, Rebecca R., 2003). In order to understand the meaning and essence of interracial marriages, it is necessary to reveal the content of marriage in general. Marriage is an authorized and regulated by the society form of relationship between a man and a woman, defining their rights and obligations with respect to each other and to their children. The value of marriage as a tightly controlled social education has been declined during the last years due to various reasons. They include low stability of marriages and the increasing appeal for individual privacy, which spreads in connection with the transformations of the norms of family relations. Other reasons include changes in the economic situation, progress in the field of household and living conditions. Counseling intercultural marriages would focus primary attention on the overall situation of countries which the couple came from. Understanding the native land of your wife/husband is inevitable for understanding his/her inner world. Before getting married one should first make a trip to his/her beloved home – a place where he or she grew up. Economical, cultural and traditional aspects much affect the process of forming a personality, thus, without getting acquainted with these factors one will face with problems connected with misunderstanding, which may lead to serious problems and divorce. In the modern world, those people, who do not marry and deprived of the burden of responsibility in relation to another person, are not subject to social pressure and contain all features and services, organized by the society. “Although at first glance it might seem that intercultural relationships are not easily distinguished from other types of relationships involving multiple cultural differences, there seems to be at least tacit agreement that intercultural couples are characterized by greater differences between the partners in a wider variety of areas, with race, religion, ethnicity, and national origin being the primary factors” (Christopher Sullivan, R. Rocco Cottone, 2006). Once you face with the fact that you know nothing about your future husband’s or wife’s country – appropriate actions should be taken. One may start with simple online searching, also, do not be afraid to ask questions regarding all possible aspects of life where your position can be possibly different. The position of marriage in the modern society has become less stable because of the existence of the cult of consumption in terms of sex, which is used in todays society mainly with hedonistic purposes. The economic instability in the world also has a destabilizing effect on the institution of marriage. Consequently, the institution of marriage undertakes significant modifications and adaptations to the new social conditions. Multicultural marriages usually face serious problems of ethnic compatibility. “The consideration of intercultural marriages as social phenomena is also warranted by the fact that marriage is a most basic social institution. A marriage is more than a relationship between individuals. It is also a relationship between groups. As such, marriage has symbolic meaning generally related to the relative status of the groups involved” (Duan, Ni, 2006). The problem of international relationships has deep social roots and is predetermined by a number of social, psychological, historical, religious and faith-based reasons. Nevertheless, these issues must be solved, since the phenomenon of interracial marriages is quite common. “Todays growing acceptance of interracial marriages is a contrast to the overwhelming attitudes 50 years ago that such marriage was wrong -- and even illegal. During most of U.S. history, interracial marriages have been banned or considered taboo, sociologists say” (Chen, S., 2010). Mixed marriages is one of the means of social integration. The education of ethnically mixed families plays an important role in the process of changing the ethnic composition of the population. People contract the majority of marriages, including interracial, at a young age, due to the properties of the reproductive period. Consequently, it is especially to study the peculiarities of marriages in the youth value system. The devaluation of the former values ​​affected young people more than any other age group, as they are the first, who primarily respond to the changes, taking place in the society. All these cultural difficulties enable people to search a better life in another place. In this case, interracial marriage is considered as the best way to change the life of a person for better. However, there are both advantages and disadvantages of intercultural marriages. According to the psychologists, international marriage teaches the partners to be tolerant in relation to each other as well as enables to be sensitive to people of different nations and contribute to improving relations between countries and ethnic groups. Such families have a positive influence on the resolution of legal conflicts between states, creating mutual interest in culture and history of social life of other people, stimulated by social cooperation. Psychologists believe that the difference in the origin of the couple is not important. Well-being, harmony and strength of the family depends only on the members of this family and particularly from: the ability to forgive and forget the wrongs; the degree of tolerance and patience; openness to new experience and mutual respect; the warmth and fullness of feelings; trust in each other; mutual affection and love. As for the negative sides, they include: 1. The discrepancy of cultures, traditions, customs and approaches to education. These are the issues, which usually lead to the conflict. The other most problematic sides of interracial marriages concern: a daily observance of rituals and customs, the culinary traditions and religious rites of the family, which are to be followed not only during all sorts of positions and major religious holidays, but also during the wedding reception, the birth and upbringing of the child and so forth. The foreign culture is revealed in any positive or negative event of life. 2. Misunderstanding and condemnation of others. It concerns not only neighbors, colleagues, friends and distant relatives, who may discuss the interracial marriage, looking for insincere or material benefits in the couple, but it is also related to close people and relatives. 3. Some ancient peoples (for example, Armenians, Georgians, Jews and so forth) have the inborn sense of national pride and fear of assimilation. They believe that the family must be created only within their own nation. Moreover, many of these ethnic groups are sure that it is essential to communicate in the daily life only with the representatives of their "tribe" in order not to lose the identity of bright distinctive national features as well as not to replace or lose their customs and traditions. It is very dangerous to create the international marriages with these nationalities, because such families usually lack the democratic relationships and are pressed by the subordination. 4. Another minus of interracial marriages concerns those who live in the foreign countries. In such family, one partner always faces not only a new mentality and way of life, but also a fundamentally different legal basis and organization of health care. The young international family can meet difficulties at different stages of their life and formation. For example, movement to the permanent residence to another country, obtaining a visa, receiving residence permit or citizenship and so forth. “Culture shock for individuals in intercultural relationships includes outsider status, cultural losses, and divided cultural homes. These examples of culture shock are not unlike those experienced by travelers or immigrants to a new culture; what is unique is that these experiences are reactions to the culture of an intimate partner” (Crippen, Cheryl L., 2011). One more trouble, which usually experience all interracial marriages, is a language barrier. A special point in the international marriages, which is worth mentioning, concerns the issue of children. The system of Law in a close legislative framework less protects those (husband or wife), who came from another country. Considering the issue of child residence in case of divorce, the government of the foreign country does not usually take into account the wishes of children or parents, but protects the interests of the state. In this case, if the parents begin to fight for their child, accusing each other of improper parenting and even child abuse, the kids can be taken to the shelters or even adopted by other couple. As we can see, there are much more disadvantages in the interracial marriages, than positive sides. This explains the negative attitude of the society in relation to this issue. “The occasional confused look is the least of the challenges faced by couples in interracial and intercultural marriages. Being raised in different cultures means couples have to negotiate different communication patterns, agree on what they want for their mixed-race children, and learn to accept new traditions» (Noem, J., 2009). They must understand the consequences of the accepted decision and be ready to struggle against the blaming look of the society. However, the modern era brought much frivolity to the relationships and social standards. Even homosexual relations are legalized in some countries and accepted by the society, though they are considered as a psychological abnormality, unlike international marriages. “Intercultural couples tend to form a unique bond — a special identity together that is quite different from the identity of each individual. This bond also provides couples with an impetus to stay together” (Alupoaicei, M., 2009). When two individuals from different cultures unite, they create the unique separate culture, which is appropriate particularly for their family. They combine different traditions and change the usual state of things. Such processes can be both positive and negative. For example, in Saudi Arabia women are prohibited to drive a car. It can be a problem for the foreign women, who likes to drive. However, if in such a family a foreign women has a car with a personal driver, it can be even a benefit for her. Especially confusing, remains the question of the marriages, which are racially and ethnically segregated. They are not usually accepted by the society. For example, the match of a Russian girl with an African-American. “Against views like these, it is rare to hear an opposing opinion today, and this is usually because any opposition to miscegenation — even saying merely that it is not a good idea — receives accusations of racism or, if the voice of opposition is a white person, white supremacy. Opposition to interracial marriage, especially if coming from a white person, is usually interpreted to entail hatred of other races” (Desperandum, N., 2011). It means that interracial cultures can even raise the questions of racism. It usually concerns the most unprotected strata of the population. They are accepted as the loss of national identity and social degradation. Analyzing the concept of interracial marriage, we can make conclusion, that it does not contain any negative features, which can be accepted as something unusual or breaking the social standards. The world progress represented the international languages as a modern trend, which inserts more people every year. The result is thousands of couples, which built intercultural marriages. However, no one can prohibit people make their own choice in relation to the creation of the family. The most important is a mutual understanding within this social institution and the respectful attitude to the choice of other people. References Alupoaicei, M. (2009). Your intercultural marriage. Retrieved from: http://www.growthtrac.com/your-intercultural-marriage/#.VD-PO5R_ulE Chen, S. (2010, June). Interracial marriages at an all-time high, study says. Retrieved from: http://edition.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/06/04/pew.interracial.marriage/ Cools, Carine. (2011). Relational Dialectics in Intercultural Couples’ Relationships. Retrieved from: https://jyx.jyu.fi/dspace/bitstream/handle/123456789/37189/9789513945732.pdf?sequence=1 Crippen, Cheryl L. (2011). Working with Intercultural Couples and Families: Exploring Cultural Dissonance to Identify Transformative Opportunities. Retrieved from: http://www.counselingoutfitters.com/vistas/vistas11/Article_21.pdf Desperandum, N. (2011, May). On Interracial Marriage: The Moral Status of Miscegenation. Retrieved from: http://faithandheritage.com/2011/05/the-moral-status-of-miscegenation/ Duan, Ni, Claborne, Glenda. (2006). Marital Interaction in Intercultural Marriage: An Application of Expectancy Violation Theory. Retrieved from: http://glendaclaborne.com/portfolio/arabissmo/projects/grad/610.pdf Gaines, Stanley O., Regan, J. R., Gurung, A. R., Lin, Yu-Yi, Pouli, Nektaria. Interethnic Relationships. Retrieved from: http://www.uwgb.edu/gurungr/Research/Pubs/InterethnicRel05.pdf Kahlenberg, Rebecca R. (2003, March). The I Dos and Donts of Intercultural Marriage. Retrieved from: http://www.interfaithfamily.com/relationships/marriage_and_relationships/The_I_Dos_and_Donts_of_Intercultural_Marriage.shtml Noem, J. (2009, November). Intercultural Marriage: Making It Work. Retrieved from: http://www.foryourmarriage.org/intercultural-marriage-making-it-work/ Sullivan, Christopher, Cottone, R. Rocco. (2006). Culturally Based Couple Therapy and Intercultural Relationships: A Review of the Literature. Retrieved from: http://drgehart.com/page3/page5/files/Cultural%20couples%20counseling.pdf Wang, Wendy. (2012, February). The Rise of Intermarriage. Retrieved from: http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2012/02/16/the-rise-of-intermarriage/ Read More