Active/Reflective Listening - Essay Example

?Outline Active listening An introduction to Active/Reflective Listening Definition Techniques to conducting proper Active Reflective Listening Top ten active listening skills Stop talking while listening Creating a permissive environment Showing interest Removing distractions from the background Empathizing with speaker Being patient Holding temper Avoiding arguments Asking questions Stop talking while listening Personal learning from this research Characteristics of active learning Plan to apply the findings in the future career as an officer in the US Army References Active Listening An introduction to Active/Reflective Listening Active listening can be defined as a structured way to listen and respond while objectively concentrating upon the function of communication rather than paying attention to forms, subjectivity, or passive expression. Active listening, as the name indicates, requires the listener to be fully attentive toward the speaker while the communication is going on. Active listening is the best form of listening because it leads to accurate understanding of meaning on the part of the listener. Active listening leads to such an interaction between the speaker and the listener in which the listener makes use of emotional intelligence in order to optimize the understanding. “Demanding both verbal and nonverbal skills, this way of communication improves mutual understanding by using techniques like paraphrasing” (Bauer and Figl, 2008). Active listening is a technique of communication that is used in training, counseling, and conflict resolution. This technique requires the listener to convey what they have heard to the speaker as per their understanding of it. This can be achieved either by restating exact words of the speaker or by paraphrasing them so as to convey the correct meaning as a confirmation of the fact that the listener has heard and understood the speaker correctly. When one person talks to another, the listener often waits to speak rather than focusing the entire attention on listening or the listener may be distracted. “By using active listening skills, negotiators control the tone of negotiations while they build the empathy necessary to win subjects' confidence and to resolve tense situations” (Noesner and Webster, 1997). Successful communication between two parties cannot take place without the establishment of a common ground of understanding. The common ground of agreeing to disagree can be false. Still, it continues to be a common ground once both parties accept it as understood. The very common ground provides the platform for the dialogue, progress, and understanding to take place. It is hard to establish that common ground without showing the speaker respect for their words. Techniques to conduct proper Active Reflective Listening In order to use the technique of active listening for the improvement of interpersonal communication, it is imperative that an individual does not concentrate upon personal emotions while the conversation goes on. In everyday interaction, people try to read the mind of the speaker and try to understand why the speaker is saying a certain phrase or speaking in a certain way. Sometimes, listeners tend to concentrate upon these factors more than is required. This distracts the listener from the real understanding of conversation and also makes it difficult for the speaker to convey the meaning conveniently. The listener should ask questions from the speaker to clarify doubts and try to paraphrase the received information back to the speaker in an attempt to clarify any confusions and misunderstandings. It is also important for an individual to try to overcome distractions in the environment during conversation. When an individual argues prematurely or forms judgment about the speaker, it shows that the listener is holding onto firm personal opinion that might even not be correct. In addition to leading the listener to incorrect conclusions, this habit or behavior serves as a hindrance in the development of their ability to closely listen and understand what is being said by the speaker. The listener considers the personal and cultural background of the speaker to take maximum benefit from the process of communication. Some of the very important components that promote active listening are appropriate body language and eye contact between the listener and the speaker. In order to effectively listen, it is imperative that the listener pays attention to what the speaker is saying. Many a times, the listener hears certain key words that play a very important role in conveying the meaning of the speaker. The intonation and stress keeps them active and free of distractions. A very helpful strategy to retain the collected information is by taking notes as the speaker speaks. This not only provides the listener with the opportunity to record the information, but also makes it easier for them to remember the information as such because it can be read and referred to any time in the future. Top ten active listening skills According to Utah Education Network (2011), the top ten active listening skills are; stop talking while listening, creating a permissive environment for the speaker so that they feel at ease while speaking, looking interested so that the speaker gets the impression that the listener wants to listen, removing distractions from the background or the environment to optimize the tendency of both parties to concentrate on speaking and listening respectively, trying to look at things from the perspective of the speaker so as to empathize with them, being patient while listening and giving the speaker due time to complete what they want to say without interrupting them, holding the temper so as to get clear and correct meaning from the words of the speaker, avoiding indulgence in arguments to keep the speaker from getting into the defensive mode, asking questions to help the conversation develop and also to encourage the speaker, and stop talking while listening in order to be a good listener. These ten strategies are very effective in active listening. Personal learning from this research This research has clarified to me the meaning and description of active listening. From this research, I have learnt that the essence of active listening is effective and simple i.e. to paraphrase the words of the speaker in the form of a question. The room for interpretation or assumption in active listening is very less. Active listening is mechanical and functional and does not leave doubt regarding the meaning of the sentence. The process of active listening is effective and successful if the listener is able to give such feedback that reflects the correct understanding of the meaning. Some factors that help the listener attend to the speaker fully include suspension of the listener’s personal frame of reference, suspension of judgment, and deterrence of internal mental activities. I have learnt the importance of keeping out of arguments; “The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of a wise man is in his heart” (Franklin cited in mentoring.org, n.d., p. 204). Arguments only bring ego unnecessarily in the matter which serves to only destroy the effectiveness of communication. Argumentation is a waste of time as neither of the arguing parties ever happens to win in reality. This was a very useful exercise as this has taught me an essential skill of active listening that we need in everyday life both professionally and in our personal lives. Plan to apply the findings in the future career as an officer in the US Army I plan to join the US Army in the future. The findings I have collected as a result of this research will help me be an active listener in the US Army. The importance of active listening while serving in the army cannot be overemphasized because every word that is communicated is calculated and is included in the sentence for a purpose. Soldiers have to take orders of their seniors and their performance is evaluated on the basis of how well they have been able to accomplish the assigned tasks. In order to perform their duties efficiently, it is imperative that the soldiers become active listeners. As a US Army officer, I shall always look the speaker in the eye while listening to them, I shall be fully attentive to what is being said and not think about anything else, I shall not jump to conclusions, I shall not get into any sort of argumentation as long as I can help it, I shall try to take notes whenever I can, and I shall look fully interested in the speech of the speaker. I shall approach the speaker with respect and clarify any doubts that I might have in understanding their meaning. I shall first listen to the speaker completely before starting to speak. I shall use both paraphrasing and the technique of asking questions to clarify confusions. In order to ensure that I have understood the meaning correctly, I shall convey to the speaker what I have understood from his message in my own words and take his approval or confirmation on that. Using active listening will not only enable me to execute the tasks correctly, but will also enable me to do self-assessment as to how well I have performed in a certain task. References: Bauer, C., and Figl, K. (2008). "Active Listening" in Written Online Communication – A Case Study in a Course on "Soft Skills for Computer Scientists". 38th ASEE/IEEE Frontiers in Education Conference. Retrieved from http://nm.wu-wien.ac.at/research/publications/b944.pdf. [Available on Google Scholar]. Mentoring.org. (n.d.). Communication and Listening Skills. Retrieved from http://www.mentoring.org/downloads/mentoring_436.pdf. Noesner, G. W., and Webster, M. W. (1997). Crisis Intervention: Using Active Listening Skills in Negotiations. FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin. [Available on Google Scholar]. Utah Education Network. (2011, July 4). Active/Reflective Listening Skills. Retrieved from http://www.uen.org/Lessonplan/preview.cgi?LPid=28907. Read More