Important Changes in My Family - Assignment Example

Answer I am Haley Grace James and I am studying in Acadia, which is one of the most prestigious preparatory schools on the east coast. Grace was the name, my mother wanted me to have and Haley was added by my grandparents because they somehow wanted to make it apparent of the great lineage that I belonged to and probably overshadow or hide the fact that my mother was a hippie. But I am proud of my mother and father because they were very much in love and bestowed love and happiness in my life. After the death of my other in a freak accident of fate, I came to live with my grandparents in Vermont, which was near my school. My father got remarried to a gold-digger called Cindy but decided not to have any more children, which made me happy. My family was one of the most prominent families with old money. The family business was jointly held by James and the Scott family. Both the families were founding Directors of the Preparatory School where I was studying which gave me a privileged place in my school. I liked to believe that I had been given the role of a ‘queen’ which gave me the power to remain aloof while at the same time, allowed me to act as regally as I liked. In the school, I had a group of friends who all belonged to the same social status and that included the childhood friend Nathan, who was our business partner’s son and other children of neighbors and family friends’ children, all of whom had grown up together. Nathan was special because he understood me and had been my pillar of support, always helping me through my emotional crisis. Answer 2 My mother’s death was a great emotional shock for me and after moving with my grandparents in Vermont, I liked to go to Nathan’s house on weekends rather than my grandparents’ home. It was not as if my grandparents did not want me there but somehow their class consciousness and the fact they were so very different from my cheerful and happy mother made me go to Nathan’s home because his mother was my mother’s friends and she made me welcome. I am seventeen years old and in the last year of my school. This is an age where sex and friendship with boys is the highlight of our life. All my friends are experimenting with kisses and sex but I strangely avoid serious involvement with any boys. I am teased and sometimes ridiculed by my friends because of my aloof nature which detracts boys from making serious overtures towards me. Nathan is also like other boys and keeps dating different girls but it is only recently that I have started getting irritated with his girl friends and his smooching habits which has confused me because I neither want him myself nor want him to have other girls, which is ridiculous! I feel I have just become a drifter and Nathan becomes furious because I do not do anything that makes me happy. In fact, I think I am a coward because I do not particularly want to know what makes me happy. Nathan makes me feel secure and singing makes me happy but I am still confused because while Nathan has always been there for me and singing in a band is a big step which might not be approved by my grandparents. Answer 3 My mother was my idol and I remember her cheerful demeanor and her happy go lucky attitude and her absence still makes me cry at night. I resent my step mom mainly because she has taken the place of my mother in my father’s life. I also feel that my father had alienated me from his life after my mother’s death and does not either loves me or cares for me and this point had come into sharp focus when I found that he even knew what Lucas, Nathan’s cousin, is planning to do after the school but is least concerned of my college plans. Is it because I am a girl? The feeling was reinforced when I was told about their (my father and Cindy’s) impending wish to try for another child. My world was shattered and father’s insensitivity had jolted me from my safe cocoon and I had finally realized the futility of expecting anything from my father. My grandparents, especially my grandmother’s expectations of keeping and maintaining façade of perfect behaviour, befitting the status of an established family, had forced me to behave like an aloof and a high society snob. I did not like to mingle with the so called commoners. Though I detested my grandmother but the façade of well mannered girl had everyone fooled. I was also expected to marry into good family and Nathan would have been the best choice of my grandmother had I not disillusioned her of the same. Indeed so far, I had been living a life in manner that was expected of me, without caring for my happiness and what I really want. When I sang with the band called ‘Hijackers’, I found myself coming alive and really enjoying the experience. I was offered a chance to join the band but I was hesitant because the band was not of the class that would have found favors with my grandparents. I wanted the status quo in my life because changes created havoc and I was afraid of them. The changes brought about by my mother’s death have still the power to hurt and hence the aversion to change the things in my life. But I think, my father’s wishes to expand his family, was probably the last straw which had held together the façade of security. Nathan always wanted me to do things that would make me happy and I had realized that singing made me feel alive. I knew Nathan would always support me and therefore, I finally decided to listen to my heart and joined ‘Hijackers’ on a trial basis, disregarding the wishes and expectations of my grandparents and family. I have realized that happiness is what matters in the end and one cannot keep pleasing others at the cost of one’s happiness. If you want to be happy, you must seek and strive for happiness by yourself. Answer 4 My mother’s death had been central to the mapping of my life. The death had irrevocably scarred me and had made me afraid of changes that might occur in my life. I wanted to please the world and at the same time, I wanted the world to admire me for the admirable qualities and perfect manners that I had deliberately cultivated for the world. I thought it would make me happy and safe. But now I know that the world does not function that way. Life cannot be ordered into a set pattern but it needs to be guided for achieving happiness and spreading happiness. I had been living in a fool’s paradise and it was probably my father’s crass insensitive behaviour that had given me courage to take hold of life with more grit and determination. I realized that if I want to be happy, I needed to take control of my life and make decisions that would make me happy. Yes, my decision to join the musical band ‘Hijackers’ was the right decision because it had made me come alive, especially at that time in my life when everything was going topsy-turvy. The support of Nathan was the most important feature because I knew that he wants me to be happy. My family had always believed in façades and my grandparents or my father had never tried to understand me or made any efforts to find whether I was genuinely happy or not. I have now realized that one cannot continuously live life according to other’s expectations. Times changes and people must adopt ways that make them happy. I was never secure in my father’s love because I realized that I was never its recipient. I was a beautiful face to him, not an individual or his daughter who needed the reassurance of his love after her mother’s death. This ultimate realization freed me from the bondage that I had enveloped myself in the name of family honor. I realized that love is what matters because it not only gives you power to hold other’s happiness but it also makes people happy. Love is happiness. If you are not happy then the love is façade that is best discarded. I know that if I am happy in the musical band, my grandmother would finally accept me as I am and not as I pretend to be. I have also realized that the so called friendly feeling and platonic relationship with Nathan, is all a hog wash. I love Nathan and I want him in my life as my life partner and nothing less would suffice. Nathan has also finally opened his heart and declared his love. This all makes me very happy and I am finally at peace with myself. Nathan was brought up in a happy family background and he had realized early that my insecurities were a result of tragic accidents that the death of my mother had brought about. He had given me his unstinted love and support all through my growing up period which has finally given my life a direction that leads towards love and happiness. Read More