Identify the Individual - Assignment Example

The person that the paper will reflect is Leasa Rice, a former significant other. Initiation I first laid eyes on Leasa in the summer of 2009 when she moved in across the street from my current home. One day Leasa and I were both working on our lawns manicuring both the grass and shrubs. After making small talk from across the street about the extent of the work, I decided to go over and formally introduce myself. Experimental Leasa mentioned that she was a single mother and was excited about her new home. I, being a long time resident, welcomed her to the neighborhood by giving her some information about where the local eateries and shopping centers were. The chemistry felt surreal. I could instantly feel the attraction which was thick and exciting. After the formal introduction, we parted ways but not for long. Intensification After about 2 weeks of passer-by greetings, I decided to ask her for her phone number. This was the beginning of escalating, and intense daily phone conversations which lasted about 1 week. The daily conversations were enduring and after the week session, we had our first dinner date at a nearby restaurant. The date would be the beginning of a more personal relationship that consisted of us frequently visiting each others homes. Integration The relationship began to become more serious as we spent more time together. After about 3 month of steady dating and meeting each other’s family, we took our relationship to another level. There was no denying that my feelings for Leasa were deep and passionate, so after dating for approximately 3 months, I decided to ask Leasa to be my girl by dating each other exclusively. Leasa stated she felt the same way and hence a monogamous relationship formed. Bonding Over the next year we grew closer and the relationship deepened. We began to spend nights at each others houses and ceased all phone calls from former lovers. However, one night as Leasa spent the night an old friend of mine called just to check in. Our relationship was never serious but we decided to remain friends. Even though the phone call was one of an innocent nature, Leasa grew jealous and we had our first real argument. We had disagreed before, however this particular argument went on for hours and we stayed up all night arguing then making up. We grew closer that night and our relationship entered a new phase. Differentiation Although Leasa seemed to be tailored made for me, there were some significant differences in some core beliefs. Leasa wanted to get married before moving in together and wanted to start a family immediately. I felt different. I wanted to wait at least a couple more years before getting married and firmly believed that we should live together first. Also, I wasn’t sure how soon after getting married did I want to start a family. It didn’t end there, because we also disagreed as to who should sell their house and which house we should live in. Even though we disagreed on these key issues, we continued our relationship and grew closer. Circumscribing Although Leasa and I decided not to have contact from any past lovers, Leasa went to far. Leasa jealousy began to escalate as she couldn’t control her envy of female friends and coworkers I had. I admit, to keep the peace I limited my involvement with my female friends and coworkers, however I began to resent this action as I felt it challenged my manhood. I reached my boiling point when Leasa confronted a female coworker at a party and accused her of trying to interfere with our relationship. At home, irate and embarrassed, I explained to Leasa that if she didn’t get a grip of her jealousy that we would terminate the relationship. Honestly, Leasa did attempt but it was after a couple more jealous episodes. Stagnation Leasa and my relationship began to slow. Now into our 2nd year, Leasa jealousy began to drive a rift into our bond and she began putting more pressure on me to get married. After seeing that Leasa couldn’t control her “green eyed monster” I was growing more reluctant to marry. It really bothered me that she was so insecure and we slowly began to drift apart. Avoidance Another problem that resonated was the differences in our core beliefs. It was 2 years and we still hadn’t committed to moving in together. As arguments grew more frequent, we began spending less nights at each others houses. The separation could be felt and began to take toll. Nights would go by without calling each other and the distance in the relationship could be emotionally felt. Termination Days began going by without talking with or seeing each other. Leasa was adamant on getting married and she could not get control of her insecurities. Her jealously never really got under control and it really bothered me that she couldn‘t accept me having female friends. Also, I was firm on living together before marriage however she would not bend on her belief of marriage first. Needless to say, these enormous differences were to challenging and after 2 years we decided to terminate the monogamous relationship and just be friends. How I would Prevent This True love is hard to come by. Although I cherished my relationship with Leasa, there are several things I would do to prevent this from happening again. First, I would make it clear that I would have female friends. Second, I would make sure that essential core beliefs on marriage and kids were the same. Finally, I would date for a longer period of time before entering an exclusive relationship. Read More