Money, Death and Marriage - Essay Example

Money, Death and Marriage As we live in America and begin to relate to the somewhat original traditions that are constantly changing, hence we realize the things that America has shown awareness in throughout the years. Events such as a funeral and a wedding contrast each other but still manage to have similarities in some aspects. Marriage, for instance, used to be a holy matrimony that only occurred when two people fell in love and thought that they could not live with each other; however, Rebecca Mead in One Perfect Day, says that a wedding ceremony has turned more towards expressing one’s style through theme, and the money he\she is willing to spend on such an event. (In regards to money; Jessica Mitford also expresses in The American Way of Death) her opinion on the burden faced by Americans when preparing for funeral arrangements, since they end up paying hefty amounts of money. Just like Mead, Mitford also talks about how a funeral should not be a form of stress; instead, it should be a good last farewell to the dead person; however, in the current American society, having a funeral is also a stressful event because not many people can pay nine thousand dollars to say their goodbyes. There are many contrasts that Mead and Mitford imply regarding the marriage and funeral industries that America should be aware of because the traditional views of marriage and death are slowly changing into the modern vision of America. The two books The American Way of Death and One Perfect Day are both non-fiction books that illustrate a growing everyday issue in America. The two books not only involve personal opinion and views, but it always portrays a variety of statistics regarding costs and facts. Because the books are not fiction, they seem more relatable to the people who have already once experienced planning a funeral or wedding, or a good guide for those to be planning one soon. In One Perfect Day, Mead implies that more than love and religious views, marriage and death are being forced around the idea of money and status. Mead also talks about how people are paying more and more for marriage because they want to show personal style and a status symbol more than simply expressing the love for each other. The cost of having a wedding constantly rises each year and “according to a 2006 study, Americans were spending $14 billion annually on engagement rings, wedding rings, and other items of jewelry.” (Mead 24) This amount does not include the dresses, tuxedos, cars, and etc. However, Americans are enthusiastic about the rising cost of having a wedding, and they let themselves get taken advantage of by expensive wedding planners and dresses. However, when contrasting “The American Way of Death,” and “One Perfect Day,” business wise, we come across a similarity which is the cost. In The American Way of Death, Mitford talks about how “the focus of the buyer’s interest must be the casket, vault, clothing, funeral cars, etc. –the only tangible evidence of how much has been invested in the funeral- the only real status symbol associated with a funeral service.” (Mitford 20) This statement means that the salesmen and everyone involved in putting a funeral together are taking advantage of the customers because they realize that the casket is a mandatory item of a funeral. A funeral is not an occasion for a display of cheapness. It is, in fact, an opportunity for the display of a status symbol which by bolstering family pride does much to assuage grief. A funeral is also an occasion when feelings of guilt and remorse are satisfied to a large extent by the purchase of a fine funeral. It seems highly probable that the most satisfactory funeral service for the average family is one in which the cost has necessitated some degree of sacrifice. This permits the survivors to atone for any real or fancied neglect of the deceased prior to his death… (Nation Funeral Service Journal 20) And the main similarity between a funeral and a marriage is that most of the items that are involved are mandatory for a normal wedding which seems to be the reason why people buy certain caskets, and why people buy the luxurious end wedding items. Mead and Mitford both make a good point of how the materialistic aspect has taken over the beauty of the American funeral and wedding. Apart from money, another aspect of a wedding is that; “there are so many styles which change according to the person’s religious and ethnic standpoints” (Mitford p100). These styles can change from location, to color scheme. For example, an Indian wedding consists of bright colors worn by the bride and groom, whereas in most American couples, the bride wears a white gown; as the groom wears a tuxedo. People can get married on the beach, in a church, or a shopping mall. However, Mitford also implies that funerals have different themes as well depending on if the family of the person who passed away is Jewish, Christian, Egyptian, Greek, or any other ethnicity. But unlike weddings, funerals can only occur in so many places; a church or funeral home. Likewise depending on the background of the family, the preference of the casket color, length of the ceremony, and even the way the body is cleaned can change. For example, “the Egyptian method of embalming as described by Herodotus sounds like a rather crude exercise in human taxidermy. The entrails and brain were removed, the body scoured with palm wine and purified with spices… [However,] the Jews frowned upon embalming, as did the early Christians, who regarded it as a pagan custom. Saint Anthony, in the third century, denounced the practice as sinful.” (Mitford 142-143) Quite different from wedding ceremonies, funeral ceremonies tend to involve more religious views because one’s death is seen to be giving their soul to God in most religions. According to Mead, a wedding is simply a minor transition from being alone, to always having someone there. After getting married, “the transition undergone by the contemporary young woman who is marrying for the first time is, in fundamental ways, much less significant than that experienced by her forbears: Her life as a wife may not be very different from her life reengagement, in practical terms.” (Mead 22) These women will eventually grow to take care of themselves by regularly visiting the facial clinic and “registering for fine china.” (Mead 22) Although the life change that occurs after marriage does not affect some, as it does to others; marriage seems to be an event that all women need to experience eventually because after marriage, women change and glow with happiness. On the other hand, funerals tend to do the exact opposite, while marriage brings happiness and love to most people, “a funeral usually brings sadness and sorrow” (Mitford p100). This is a life event that most people do not wish to ever attend, but we live knowing that eventually we will have to. Another difference between the two events is that after a marriage, there is more to look forward to, but once the funeral occurs, that is an end to one life. Nothing will continue or bring happiness any longer (Mitford p100). Mead and Mitford both made excellent points on the everyday events that we have already faced or will eventually have to be a part of. A wedding and funeral have so many contrasting facts that they could quite literally be considered opposites of each other. Apart from their differences, the two authors did not fail to mention the cost that was involved in both events. Some of the costs can be avoided but consumers chose not to take the easy way out because of the status symbol and personal style they wish to display on the special or sad day. Yet the differences between the two are inevitable; for example, how marriage brings joy and forms a new life for two people in love, and how funerals tend to bring a lot of sorrow and sadness. The other author, Mitford uses irony and humor as she tells the reader of how the funeral industry consumes the money of emotionally weakened bereaved family members as they seek to respite the essence of the late family associate. She demonstrate the use of sarcasms and she uses quotes from actual spoken words of people who were either victims of these funeral scams or just people with views to share. The fact at the end of the story as believed by Mitford, points out that dying Americans concludes by doing what most living Americans practices: the tendency they develop of overspending their resources. Mitford explains that the funeral industry is just like any other business out there with a motive of making profit. The tone of the author remains consistent through out the book and she never kept apart from the book. She stuck to the main points, trying to convince and show the reader the truth reality of the funeral industry and its weaknesses. Mitford tries to teach us by informing us that the funeral industry is a corrupt industry that makes people believe their services is truly what the dead and the bereaved family deserves to fully ensure that their people finally rests in peace, and so as Mitford describes, the American way of death. Mitford later died in 1996, after her revision of her book, the American way of death (Mitford p100). Even with differences, America’s constantly changing modern vision seems to be unstoppable considering how high the cost of burying a person and getting married has become. In a the coming years, the trend will definitely be adopted by many, especially those willing to get married since most of them, ladies in particular prefer the most expensive wedding that their brides can offer. According to Mead and Mitford, death and happiness both seem to have their price. Works Cited Mitford, Jessica. The American Way of Death Revisited. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1998. Print. Mead, Rebecca. One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding. New York: Penguin, 2007 Print. Read More