Parental Education Issues - Essay Example

Parent Education A life doesn’t end in a bad place when an adult has failed, but when the child within that adult has been failed. While some choices that turn a life in the wrong direction do happen after one has fully entered adulthood, a great many of the choices that are made that ruin lives happen at the beginning of adulthood, a child never having been prepared for what it means to be a responsible, contributing member of society. In understanding the impact of poor parenting on the long term events in one’s life it must be understood that one can only contribute what one has been taught to create. Therefore, if survival has always been a matter of frustration and cutting social corners, then it is doubtful that a child will learn to survive within the framework of the laws of a community. The failure of many adults to succeed is rooted in the poor parenting skills of those who raised them, thus suggesting that required parental education would benefit society as a whole. A society has the right and the obligation to define how its members will interact within the ideological framework of its culture. One of the biggest problems in the United States is that most people do not have generations of ancestors who came before them on which to base their cultural belief systems. Therefore, the way in which parents pass their heritage to their children is often convoluted and without social structure, the design of the community not based upon generations of cultural belief systems, but a patchwork of concepts that do not inform those who are trying to find a way to raise their children on exactly what is best in regard to their future. As witnessed in the disrupted families within the two parallel stories of Wes Moore, when the struggle to survive creates a gap between what is life and what one thinks life should be, the frustration can lead children to some very poor decisions that can impact the rest of their lives. Because of the gaps that leave many children struggling to acculturate within their own native society, the concept of parent education is one way that this social problem can be combated. The difficulty, however, is that parenting is a complex activity that is comprised of a number of roles and a wide path of responsibilities. According to Chase-Lansdale and Pittman, list the number of functions of a parent as including “nurturing, discipline, stimulation, values, activities, and routines” (167). In the process of promoting good parenting skills within those who were at a socio-economic level to receive state assistance for their families, parenting classes have been a part of the reforms. Chase-Lansdale and Pittman have concluded that programs with generous work supports and flexible work requirements have lead to different choices within the family and have promoted, not only better parenting skills, but more stable marriages and less violence between partners which has lead to overall natural better parenting (167). The following factors in the methods of parenting have been instrumental in creating children who make better life choices: warmth and responsiveness, control and discipline, cognitive stimulation, modeling, gate keeping, and family routines and traditions (Chase-Lansdale and Pittman 168). The characteristics of a parent are central to the way in which the parent will provide positive examples of these factors. Chase-Lansdale and Pittman state that “Single mothers tend to have less positive interactions with their children and provide less firm and consistent discipline as compared with mothers in two-parent households…primarily because single mothers have more stressors in their lives” (171). This suggests that parents who are experiencing high levels of stress are not as capable of focusing their positive life experience on their children. According to Carlson and Tanner, parents are the “primary socialization agents for children”, thus the way a parent approaches life will be passed down to children, perpetuating many social problems that exist within the family. Carlson and Tanner have categorized parenting styles into four distinct types: authoritative, authoritarian, indulgent, and neglecting. These styles are further defined through a warm versus hostile orientation and a restrictive versus permissive value upon each of the original four types. In defining the parental style, the ways in which the parent interacts with his or her children can be understood. Neglecting parents create a non-communicative environment within the home. Neglect is not defined by socio-economic class, but by the way in which a parent interacts with his or her child. This can be found within a home that does not appear to have problems as easily as one that clearly has difficulties. Creating an educational program that outlines the different types of parents and allows them to make more conscious choices about how to behave as parents, can create parents who are focused on the outcome that they most desire - children who grow to be competent, well-balanced adults. Moore et al has determined that although parents routinely do not believe that they have much of an effect on their adolescent children, teens will most often respond that the most influential adults in their lives are their parents (39). Therefore, the role must be understood for the high level of importance that it holds in shaping the adults of the future. It is sad, but many parents emotionally check out once children hit their teens and become more difficult to manage and control. However, this is the time in which they need more guidance. According to Carlson and Tanner, parents often don’t recognize their own efficacy in influencing their children. Therefore, they don’t know how they can best influence their children in the right direction. Parenting classes can have an impact on empowering parents so that they can see that their own actions create great influence over their children, thus if directed properly, can help to create vital, contributing adults. One of the biggest problems that face parents, both from the aspect of the age at which they give birth and from the aspect of the age at which their children become pregnant, is in combating the immaturity that is associated with having children at too early of an age. Many parents were children themselves when they gave birth, thus they haven’t yet formed the cognitive capacity to understand the way in which to interact with their children. As exampled in Moore’s writing about the way in which the mother of the other Wes Moore would go out with her friends, leaving her children two to three times a week, the urge to be a part of the youthful experience still has a strong attraction to men and women who have had children before they were mentally ready for the full time responsibility. In describing the mother who had her children at such a young age he states “She was only twenty-seven years old, and despite having two sons…she was still young enough to enjoy partying, dancing and being noticed by men” (19). While twenty-seven is more than old enough to have two children and be more responsible to them, having had her first child at sixteen stunted her maturation, thus allowing her to be distracted from her role as a mother later in her young life. One of the problems that plague the American culture is a dichotomy of morality in which it is accepted to have highly sexualized imagery readily available, but to have a conservative culture that prohibits effective information about sex to reach teenagers, leaving this under the purview of parents who have not specifically been taught how to effectively communicate about sex. According to Carlson and Tanner, abstinence is the method of birth control that is most often taught in school systems, but according to an article in Win News, the U.S. has a higher level of teen pregnancy than does Sweden, Wales, France, England, Canada, or the Netherlands. They further suggest that children of teen mothers tend to do worse in school, have poorer health, receive less health care, are more likely to be incarcerated, and have a higher rate of teen pregnancy as a second generational circumstance. From all perspectives, this problem can be helped through appropriate education for parents. In order to break the cycles of disconnected cultures within the American landscape, teaching parents how to interact with their children can help to instill belief systems that can promote social health. In creating high functioning, socially healthy children who understand what is expected and respond positively to those expectations, adulthood can be reached with a better understanding of what behaviors will have benefit over those that will end poorly. As in the case of teen pregnancy, teaching parents how to handle their communication with their children so that the possibilities are fully addressed and the realities are clear, which includes the possibility that a child will engage in sexual activity no matter what the message is from home, then a reduction in teen pregnancy can occur (Carlson and Tanner). The work of Wes Moore highlights how small the window can be towards a successful future. When he discusses the idea of second chances with the other Wes Moore, they define the difference between second chances and last chances. He relates this to the concept of being responsible to others as he states that he became a man when he became “accountable to others” (65). However, the other Wes Moore makes a more salient point when he says “Providing for others isn’t easy. And the mistakes you make are pretty unforgiving” (Moore 65). This is the problem that parents face as they get through each day trying to do what is best for their children. In creating a system where it is expected that parents should be given education on how to be a parent, formalized education that provides a framework for them to understand themselves, their children, and how their interaction must be framed, can solve many of the social problems that are faced in the United States. Breaking the perpetuated cycles that continue poorly lived lives that end in tragedy can be accomplished through providing user friendly information for parents as they guide their children. Works Cited Carlson, Les and John F. Tanner Jr. Understanding parental beliefs and attitudes about children’s sexual behavior from parental style. Journal of Consumer Affairs. 22 June 2006. Web. Chase-Landsdale, Lindsey P. and Laura Pittman. Welfare reform and parenting: Reasonable expecations. Children and Welfare Reform. 12.1 (n.d.), 167-185. Web. 20 January 2011. Moore, Jesse N., Mary Anne Raymond, John D.. Mittelstaedt, and John F. Tanner Jr. Age and Consumer Socialization Agent Influences on Adolescents' Sexual Knowledge, Attitudes, and Behavior: Implications for Social Marketing Initiatives and Public Policy. Journal of Marketing and Public Policy, 21 (Spring 2002): 37-52. Print. Moore, Wes. The Other Wes Moore: One Name, Two Fates. New York: Spiegel & Grau, 2010. Print. Teen pregnancy a major problem in the U.S. Win News. 22 June 1997. Web. 20 January 2011. Read More