Persons Identity in Society - Essay Example

My Self Roles in life are those that make up a person’s identity in society. There are many roles that I must take in life. My permanent roles are my role as a friend, a family member, a citizen, a worker, a leisure user, a learner, and myself. Each role shapes the person I am to myself and affects those around me. My role as a friend is strong. Though I keep few close friends I am loyal to them. As a family member I am pretty distant from them. I prefer to be alone in most situations because I get headaches around them. As a citizen I feel less than nationalistic towards any form of government. I see myself as a citizen of Earth not a particular nation. As a worker I am honest. I may procrastinate and deviate from social norms but I still do what I need to get done. My role as a leisure user is important to me. I throw myself into all visual forms of art and literature and I practice very hard to perfect my skills. As a learner I am always there. I will never stop learning new things as each day passes by and for every new thing I learn will add to my well of wisdom. As myself I value my individuality highly, which is normal for an INTP. I refer to myself as an enlightened anarchist. I do not care what others think about me or what they do as long as it does not affect others in a negative way. I believe my self-esteem is average. I do not over-estimate my value though I am proud. I do not mind using myself as the butt of a joke nor am I quick to criticize others. If I would change something about my self-confidence it would be my notorious shyness when it comes to meeting new people. My timidity tends to lock me up when I’m surrounded by new faces. I also find it hard to make conversations with others without being introduced to them. Most of my friends are there because they came to me. When I break out of my shell it is when people realize that I am not as innocent or quiet as they initially thought. They tend to think of me as crude but at least I am not hiding behind a shell like most people do. When it comes to being a worker, I believe that is where my weakness lies. I would like to able to enjoy work instead of despise it. I do not want to feel like a serf to some sleaze who is sipping coconut drinks all day on the beach while many others barely have enough money to put food in their stomachs. I know this is a very pessimistic view and that I need to change it. But I feel that society has been brainwashed into wanting to live inside of a golden cage. 2. There are different levels of loving, among them: passion, romantic and consummate forms of love. Passionate loving means an intense sexual desire for the object of desire. The main core of this relationship can be purely physical, meeting one’s sexual needs at the most. Many people derive happiness when their sexual needs are met regardless if there’s a commitment or none. Passion can happen between two strangers such as a one-night stand where both parties feel a burning desire to have sexual relations. After passion has been consumed, a partner can simply forget the event since there are no strings attached or what we call “commitment”. Passion is also possible between two people who truly love each other like couples in a marriage. Romantic love is more on developing intimacy and passion but with no commitment. Most young people feel these nowadays thinking that emotional commitment and making their other person happy is enough to sustain a solid relationship. Although some relationships can begin this way, many relationships also fail after this stage. When a relationship is tested by adversity, partners who are not willing to commit would just abandon the romantic relationship. Consummate love includes all three levels of loving: intimacy, passion and commitment. Solid marriages are often characterized by consummate love because the partners were able to balance the three levels. The attributes that the relationship must have to become consummate are the following: transparency, trust, compassion, honesty, some common principles, and deep commitment. The personal traits that I consider essential are: respect, sense of humor, good moral values, loyalty, generous, honest and open-minded. There are still a lot of things that I want a partner to possess but that might be too ideal. Basically, these aforementioned traits can help me and my partner nurture a relationship that can reach consummate loving. Many people actually avoid commitment when it comes to relationships. They only provide a certain level of accommodation towards people they “supposedly” love. When people avoid giving the commitment needed to attain consummate love, they risk everything. They lose the chance to grow emotionally and psychologically because they are always protecting themselves from getting hurt. Pain in inevitable when people truly love. So for those who want to avoid commitment, they miss the chance to grow old with another person who is as imperfect as they are. The point of being committed is sticking to one another despite the adversity that the relationship may face. If the relationship survives, then both partners grow in many ways they have never imagined. 3. I support the concept of altruism. First of all, many people think that one needs to have lots of money to be called altruistic. Actually, altruism is a pronounced characteristic of most philanthropists who shares their money and time to helping others. The lessons taught us that altruism is a pro-social behavior that makes other people like us. Remarkably, altruism motivates a person to act in a manner that does not expect any reward. This is often exhibited in people who courageously rescue strangers in dangerous circumstances. In daily life, altruism is a much needed behavior because it fosters collaboration among members of a group. Competition is minimized when altruism becomes part of the behavior. People become more considerate of other people so instead of attacking their weakness, they help people to become strong. I think, this is the behavior that mentors and coaches often posses. Individuals with high EQ also manifests altruistic behavior because they feel empathy. Altruism is also the concept behind pay it forward. We help other people because one day we would be needing help. Help can indirectly come from someone we don’t know or we don’t even like. We become trusting of the world around us and realize that the greatest fulfillment comes from giving and not taking. Just consider the plight of very rich but lonely people who keep their possessions to themselves. Altruistic people can feel fulfillment because they see other people’s lives get better whether or not credit is due them. I support altruism because a cut-throat world is not going to last that long. We all need to support one another in order to survive. Read More