Advantages and Disadvantages of Married Couples Having Children either Early or Late - Essay Example

Affiliation Advantages and Disadvantages of married couples having children either early or late in their marriages Introduction In the past, women had no or little choice about when in their married life they should bear children. If the women were sexually active with their bodies being physically capable of conceiving, the babies just turned up at particular intervals throughout one’s fertile years. Later on, there came the scientific contraception that allowed women to not only control the number of their families, but as well as to postpone starting the actual childbearing. However, this choice, came along with another worry. Spouses now have to agree whether it’s either harmful or beneficial to delay childbearing until later in their marriage life. In about 50 years ago or so, options for enhancing or controlling fertility have greatly grown. The changes started with the institution of oral contraception and have led to the legalization of abortions and the advancement of more complex techniques of obstetrics and in vitro fertilization that enable safe deliveries even in later ages in marriage. The older women largely benefit from these since they have increased the age bracket at which women can bear children. Advantages of married couples having children early in their marriages Getting children early in a marriage is beneficial in many ways. For instance, it is effective for letting individuals have enough room for improvement to becoming successful parents in their marriage life. Getting a child in any marriage is the most vital and major decision of couples lives, so they need to be keen in deciding the right time to get an extra member to their family. Taking such a decision earlier in their marriage life will enable the couples to live happily and enjoy marriage life. Spouses who make a decision to get a child early in their marriage have higher chances of becoming successful couples (Coleman & Coleman 22). Getting a kid early in marriage life lets the couples enjoy the chance to understand each other’s roles as parents quite early. Childbearing in initial stages in life has been proved to enhance better cooperation of couples. Marriage life of young couples with kids remains full of activeness and excitement. Hence, they can obviously have better chances and reasons to know each other more and adopt parental habits accordingly. Religious Practices and follow-ups in marriage are always supporting early parentage, immediately couples are tied as husband and wife. Many religions such as Hindu, Christianity and Islam prefer couples getting kids early in their marriage. They strongly oppose any medications that seem to postpone childbearing. Therefore, people belonging to these religions give preference to getting kids early in life so that their religious beliefs and values are followed properly. Getting kids in initial stages of marriage seem to boost the energies of spouses. Comparing old-age couples who normally do not even have enough time to reflect on their lives but only focus professions and earning to raise their families, the couples who get kids early in life proof more energetic. The couples who get kids in their early life can boost their energies rather effectively and be able to work harder for a healthier life ahead (Coleman & Coleman 14). Getting children early in a marriage finds parents who are energetic like ever. Couples who decide to get kids late in their marriage constantly struggle to make up with their kids mindset and stamina. Getting children early means that the couples are likely to obtain kids when their health is at its very robust best. Thus, this can enable parents to take on more challenging situations of parenting. The parents can energetically participate with their kids in various activities and build a bond easily (Coleman & Coleman 21).  It is argued that getting kids earlier in marriage life makes women look younger for longer. Gynecologists have approved the fact that sexual and reproductive hormones of women start to diminish steadily with an increase in life (Coleman & Coleman 24). Therefore, becoming a parent early in a marriage gives a woman’s body a better chance of recovering from demands of childbearing, which enable one preserve their youth. The early one bears a child in her marriage life, the more they stay fit. Having children early in marriage life aids financial stability of couples. Although children cost, there are actual planning benefits of having them earlier in life. One can the plan for studies and retirement much earlier, and with more experience than if kids start coming along in the midst of one’s career. Having kids early in marriage bonds women with their husbands and they won’t have financial woes or challenges s to handle and quarrel about. Bearing kids early in one’s marriage enables the kids to build their identity. If children grow up while couples are still forming their identity, they stand a good chance of being indoctrinated into their parent’s life in a way. When couples are discovering where they want to stay, what they want to do, kids get to be part of the developments instead of arriving later when couples have already set their identity. Couples are shapes by their children in the foundational years of marriage, while your children as well are formed by parent’s marriage and life discovery (Halford 17). A new marriage is filled up with joy. When couples are newly married, they still have joy for their partner that easily drain when marriage clock continues to tick. The romance and joy couples feel towards each other often attracts to more peace to family life, which greatly benefit a new baby born at that initial stage of marriage. Early childbearing in life aids bonding between the parents and their child. The young parents can zip around the playground with the kid, follow them around without any feeling of betrayal to the status of adult dignity. Having children early in a marriage essentially makes couples troubleshooter partners-in-crime. It sometimes denotes stepping on toes of each other; it can as well mean close friendship, creativity and lots of talks. Bearing children late in a marriage leaves mothers doing much of the parenting since possible fathers are more entrenched in their career (Halford 17). But getting kids early in marriage life makes baby caring a team work because couples are still fresh and quite vulnerable to each other. Bearing kids earlier in a marriage builds aids long-term plan by the couples. Getting babies early in a marriage not only bonds couples more but liberates one earlier on the other side of life. When other people will be starting their families as late as 40 and 45, the couples who gave birth at an early stage in a marriage will be winding up their families and being ready to live together again (Halford 17). The couples will be older and wiser, and most importantly, freer. However, this does not entail that couples will have perfect prosperity and peace by then since things might come up in these ages as well. Disadvantages of having children early in a marriage On the other hand, there exists difficulties in getting children early in a marriage. One of them is difficulties in dedication. When young couples are burdened with kids, they have to work extra hard to raise a family, they would find it quite difficult to lead a successful life (Gregory 31). For example, women have to take care of the young kids, run the house and control the things, hence becoming a house-wife fulltime. The experience complicates life for the young couples and dedication becomes a hard trick to beat. Early children in the initial stages of marriage makes couples lack compatibility. Numerous marriages are destroyed due to lack of compatibility. The young couples who even do not know each other well and their habits may be totally varying, are forced to have a kid together. Thus, it raises the chances of less leveled mental compatibility hence destroying the couple’s marriage lives (Gregory 31). Marriages have kids early in their marriage relationship end up facing financial difficulties. When couples get a child at their early stage in a marriage, what they only think is a permanent job with lots of money to acquire sufficient finance for the now large family (Gregory 37). The difficulties in financial matters arise when such couples are not much educated hence limited job opportunities are accessible to them. In marriages characterized with kids in initial stages of marriage, there is no center of gravity on both sides of couples. When young couples have been just been engaged and have yet to establish a center of gravity for their lives, then getting kids when young can be very drastic (Gregory 35). They will not have enough time to focus on the practicality of life since the burden of children in their young marriage has been taken on quite too early. Kids are bearing earlier in marriage increases chances of miscarriage especially when woman gets married at the tender age. The healthcare experts around the world have confirmed that women with early pregnancies have greater chances of having a miscarriage. Moreover, because at this tender age in their marriage, they even do not know how to manage their diets and their routine exactly to conceive properly. There is always no room to of learning in cases of hurried child bearing. Every couple learns negative and positive things from the experiences in life. The burdens of early childbearing never allow the couples to learn and act positively towards life expectations since the weight of having a kid early in their marriage will always be creating unpredictable circumstances to cope up with (Gregory 41). Advantages of couples having children late in their marriages There are numerous of benefits accrued to getting kids at a later date in your marriage. Firstly, the fundamental premise of getting children either earlier in life or later in marriage tends to be quite different. Most couples who decide to sire kids early in their marriage do this as a sign of the next step in their relationship. However, couples who have been in marriage for long enough often take the decision of having a baby as more of a choice.  It is always not an expectation or obligation, as it turns out to be with young marriages. For old couples, a lot of thoughts are given, and many preparations made prior to welcoming a baby into their lives. Couples who rush into getting kids in their early days in a marriage have no or little patience and life experiences which arrive with being older parents (Lee 8).  Younger couples still have many life experiences to undergo, and may end up disliking the responsibilities and restrictions that come with having a child. Many couples who involve themselves in getting kids early in their marriage end up viewing the kids as being a burden, and prevent them from keep them from having fun in their early marriage days (Lee 11). However, older couples do have experience of doing a lot in their earlier years of marriage such as clubbing, hiking, travelling and other hobbies that are spontaneous to young people. Therefore, older couples tend to be more prepared to settle down and have a focus and full attention towards being parents rather than feeling that they are actually missing out on enjoyable life experiences. However, this does not mean that older couples do not have any fun in marriage!  It means that their marriage lives tend to be richer, with their earlier experiences of each other, their kids and life have deeper appreciation and meaning. A child can put a serious strain on any kind of relationship. The very first few years of marriage should be about the couples learning what works for them both.  Once the baby arrives night dates and sex turns to be a game of sneaking around and wishing your child would sleep long enough to give you some grown up time. Even much worse is going to the store and have to take turns (Lee 9). It is because nobody wants to dress a child, fill a diaper bag or even load a toddler up in the seat of the car. Older couples in marriage have financial security. Any couples who consider bringing a kid into their world when they have stayed in a marriage for a considerable period are usually settled financially. The partners may have already spent numerous years in their jobs and career and acquired a comfortable sum of money (Lee 8). It is most likely that the couples even own their house, or are servicing a mortgage. In short, unlike young couples who rush into getting kids, these individuals can afford the substantial expenses of raising a child from childhood to independence, without exhausting their budget. Couples who choose to have kids later in their marriage life experience a much settled relationship. Not only are old couples more likely to be secure financially, but they are also more likely to be secure emotionally, therefore providing a favorable environment to raise children. Researches have indicated that couples who get kids in their early stages of their marriages are much more likely to end up in divorce than marriages that get kids later in life. Couples who get kids later in life are the least likely to divorce. Older couples tend to be in stable marriages, either because the couples have come a long time together or have lived together for long and have a clearer understanding of what to expect when they get a child. The couples are more have greater abilities to communicate with each other since they have learned the significance of compromising and establishing agreements. In child raising, this is very. Stable marriages provide high stability for kids. And marriage relationships that decide to get kids later in their life are more passionate, and passionate couples make better parents (Lee 8). Getting children later in marriage allows couples to have an established career. Childbearing may seriously disrupt the upward rise of couple’s career in its early setting. For instance, women who tend to spend twice as much times on child care as compared with their counterparts, men. So couples who wait until later in their marriages before having kids are capable to build their careers first without any interruption. Then, probably after having reached on the upper levels of management in their careers, they are most likely to be in a position to afford child care. A delayed childbearing gives a family a mature outlook. Similarly to their maturity in finances, careers and relationships, couples who allow kids to come later in life have fully and graduated from the school of life. The couples are most likely to be able counter the ups and downs of child care in their docket, demonstrating more dedication, patience and end up imparting their acquired wisdom to their children. Psychological studies have indicated that individuals appreciate products more if they cost more. Couples pay for children in with blood, attention, tears, sweat and most importantly with time (Gary & Steinmetz 95). Nobody will dedicate themselves to the bringing up children if they did not come along with some happiness. Repeated studies again have also found that married couples with kids are less satisfied with their marriages than those without children. Disadvantages of having children late in life From another perspective, there are numerous shortcomings of getting children later in your marriage life. Studies have shown that it becomes difficult for women to conceive when one advances in age. Therefore it is advised to get kids as early into your marriage as possible. A woman’s fertility slowly declines with her increase in age. The infertility of older women may be due to a decrease in the quality and number of the ova they produce, or by age health problems that have an effect on their fertility (Gary & Steinmetz 98). So, waiting any longer while in a marriage before trying to conceive is more likely to expose the women to possible disappointment later in their life. Typically, people may argue that ovulation and menstruation ceases with menopause at ages of between 45 and 52. It has been proved that women in their late 30s hardly ever conceive and undergo a complete a pregnancy devoid of the assistance of modern scientific techniques. Classic examination in populations that don’t make use of contraception like the Hutterites has shown that childbearing declines sharply as married women advance in age. The reason for this regression infertility as the women ages are linked to both the uterus and the oocyte. When couples wait until later in their marriage in order to have a child, they are unsuspectedly exposing the mother and the baby into health risks. Older mothers are most likely to acquire high blood pressure and gestational diabetes while their child is at a higher risk of getting chromosomal abnormalities like Down syndrome (Gary & Steinmetz 95). There also exists a greater probability of complications that can result to a miscarriage, and of a Cesarean section. Older fathers may also cause certain problems too. Studies have suggested of a higher rate of birth defects and autism in children sired to men of advanced ages. Parental energy declines with advance in age, and older individuals get exhausted more easily. Sleepless times with a hungry and an unsettled infant, or very busy times with a demanding baby, are very hard for couples in their marriage. For older couples, the problem is even worse. The couples may as well not be as fit as they used to be when they were young couples making it even harder to keep up with the needs of their children once they become active teenagers (Gary & Steinmetz 93).   Another disadvantage of delayed period of getting a kid is that children will be joining college when the parents are ready to retire. Parents who have children in their early marriages can look forward to a stage where they are stress-free since the kids are way far past school, started working and even left home. Contrast this with couples who delaying getting kids until later in life to start a family. This couples face the prospect of very expensive teenagers and quite steep college fees when they have just reached a phase where most parents are thinking about economizing or retiring. Delayed siring of children is closely associated with deprived grandparents. The presence of young, active grandparents enjoying every minute of their relationship with their grandchildren is something to stir smiles on any parent’s faces. Many grandparents long for grandchildren to spoil and love while they are young to appreciate such an experience (Gary & Steinmetz 95). Couples who prefer getting children late in their marriage may find their parents already too old to enjoy the companies of their grandchildren. More unfortunate, these prospective grandparents can even be very or already dead if they, too, delayed longer before getting children. When grandparent are at their advanced age they have limited time to spend with their grandchildren because they need care and attention just like their grandkids. Another shortcoming of having kids later in one’s marriage is the large age difference between parents and children. The parent and child ages becomes more extreme when couples even longer to have kids. As prospective parents, couples need to take into consideration how their age difference will influence the relationship they will have with their children. Older parents might not get adequate physical energy and activity match up with those of active children. This is particularly true if the old parents are battling health conditions like high blood pressure, arthritis and high cholesterol. It can be tiring for old parents match with the youthfulness because time occupies a huge toll on the body (Gary & Steinmetz 94). Couples who are thinking on delaying their childbearing are advised to think about what their parenting abilities and inabilities will be like, and how they will affect their kids. Social disadvantages also go hand in hand with having kids late in one’s life. If couples have to wait until later in their life to have children, they should consider what their social life will be like by then. Chances will be that their friends that are just their age will already be having grown children, while the said couples will just be starting out with theirs. This puts the couples and their friends into quite different phases of life, although they might be no difference in their ages. Socially, it can become very difficult for the couples to get in line with the activities their friends are taking place in. In addition, the group of friends that their kids will be making with peers at youth sports teams or at school may have quite young parents that they will not feel like they actually relate to, age-wise (Gary & Steinmetz 95). Therefore, the couples will begin to have a feeling as though they do not really know where they fit socially. A common disadvantage for couples delaying for long to have their first kid is the possibility of mortality. As older parents, the couples might be forced to brief their younger kids about death and mortality, and make early preparations for their passing out sooner in their kid’s lives than they would have to if they gave birth at an early stage in their marriage. It is quite a difficult reality for parents to discover that they might die before they see their kids graduate from college, get into marriage and have children of their own. Delaying until later in their marriage life to have kids limits the experiences and amount of time parents will have with their children (Gary & Steinmetz 95). Conclusion A lot of couples are really against the idea of living according to common law, but almost all of those couples are short-sighted and blindly let statistics dictate decisions for them. So, instead of looking for losers and winners from the late-marrying landscape, it may be more reasonable to say that either both the benefits and costs of late marriage cross the lines of class and gender. On the same note, I probably would not propose having kids right away if couples have not stayed together long enough prior to their marriage. If the couples do not have financial security after their wedding, they are putting together their new home and are still absorbed in enjoying a more unstructured, carefree lifestyle, then getting children early in their marriage in not their thing. This is because once kids come into the picture that’s it for a while since their lives will be revolving around them until the kids get a little older to be left on their own. Depending on couple’s point of view, getting children earlier in marriage may keep them young or enhance their aging. There is no doubt that the older the couples are before they start having children, the larger the gap of generations will be between them and their offspring. So, before couples consider waiting for too long to start having kids, let them consider whether they are absolutely comfortable with actually being mistaken for grandparents at their child’s playgroup, and whether they will still be able to keep up with their teenagers when they are as old as sixty. If your answers to the questions are positive, then there exists no reason to prevent you from making a success of getting a baby in their late stages in marriage. Works cited Top of Form Bottom of Form Top of Form Coleman, Jason, and Debby Coleman. Discovering Your Amazing Marriage: Understanding the Power of Choice, Learn How to Communicate Effectively, How to Protect Your Marriage from Infidelity. Minneapolis, MN: Seraphina Press, 2010. Print. Bottom of Form Top of Form Halford, W K. Marriage and Relationship Education: What Works and How to Provide It. New York: Guilford Publications, 2011. Print. Top of Form Top of Form Moffatt, Gregory K. The Parenting Journey: From Conception through the Teen Years. Westport, Conn: Praeger, 2004. Print. Peterson, Gary W and Suzanne K. Steinmetz. Handbook of Marriage and the Family. New York: Plenum Press, 1999. Print. Top of Form Top of Form Walzer, Lee. Marriage on Trial: A Handbook with Cases, Laws, and Documents. Santa Barbara, Calif: 2005. Print. Top of Form Top of Form Bottom of Form Bottom of Form Bottom of Form Bottom of Form Bottom of Form Bottom of Form Bottom of Form Read More