Double Standards in Sexuality - Essay Example

Double Standards in Sexuality Introduction Sexual double standards are a topic that has existed for a long period of time with different arguments attributed to the perpetuation and development of the same. However, the presence of sexual double standards in the 21st century has remained an issue that has been discussed by different psychologists from different perspectives. Sexual double standard is the development of stereotypic approach to the issue of sexuality with different genders subjected to different treatments. In this situation, some words and slangs are comfortably used to refer to women but ignored or avoided when referring to men, a situation that strengthens the difference in societal view of the two sexes (Alexander & Fisher, 2003). Today just like in the past generations, sexual double standards has progressed to a level that it is no longer considered as an issue worth frowning at (Gerodetti, 2004). In this paper, the issue of sexual double standards will be discussed to evaluate the existence of the issue from a historical and contemporary position. The difference in the men and women sexuality as has been perpetuated within the society thus gaining an acceptable status within the communities will also be discussed in the paper. Historical context to sexual double standards In the Victorian era, the attitude towards sexuality differed and this is believed to have strengthened the double standards issue as we know it today. For example, sexual activities and practices such as masturbation in women and men were viewed from a different angle and this led to varying support to the different genders on the same topic. For example, during this era, it is believed that men were more concentrated on the effects of masturbation to them as compared to having a sexual relationship with men. Masturbation during this period was associated with a wide range of physical and mental disorders and conditions such as syphilis and other venereal conditions were attributed to men who were engaged in the activity. During the Victorian era, it is believed that people were unaware of their sexuality and this gave the aristocrats the leeway to manipulate those they deemed fit. Though there exists the perception that Victorian England was marked by the presence of female distaste and male indulgence, evidence points to a situation where the couples enjoyed mutual sexual pleasure as seen today in the modern society (Alexander & Fisher, 2003). Attitude towards prostitution also changed as the leadership legalized and made the issue of prostitution public as opposed to the venerated act of the 17th century. These actions changed the attitude and perception that the people had towards the topic of prostitution and led to the change in the issue if sexual double standards in the Victorian era in England (Shoveller, Johnson, Langille & Mitchell, 2004). Existence of sexual double standards The presence of sexual double standards in the modern society has been propagated with the male chauvinism and attitudes towards the actions of women as compared to those of men. In the society today, the actions of men and women are weighed from different societal mirrors and these results into a situation where an action can be considered right or wrong based on the person who commits it. For example, a woman that sleeps with multiple partners will out rightly be labelled a slut while the same happening to a man will not be considered from the same angle (Shoveller, Johnson, Langille & Mitchell, 2004). Men in this kind of situation are most of the time treated as machos that have the ability to sway the love of women to their closet and have sex with them. This is a reality that has existed for a long time despite the fact that women hate it and the attributes that have been made by the feminists to grant women an equal lens before the society. However, the presence of sexual double standards in our societies today has been attributed to the girls who are seen as the wheel and power behind it. The fact that a lad can have sex with multiple partners despite them knowing this cannot be blamed on the man but the sluts themselves (Lyons, 2010). Contemporary gender studies have revealed that ladies prefer to have a relationship with another man who has multiple partners for reasons best known to them and this has created the stereotypic view on the issue of sexuality in the society. This has been attributed to the concept of reselection in which it is argued that the more a man is objectively preferred by other ladies, the more the number of girls attracted to him (Baumeister, 2000). Women prefer men who have the ability to woe many girls at the same time though may decide not to exercise such options for her sake, making it possible for them to be together along. Such an argument can be supported as a savvy player will still renege on such an argument though most girls feel like it is their responsibility to change them and make a good man out of the impossible. Studs that have the ability to attract beautiful girls become the most preferable by other girls despite the knowledge of the fact that he is a player and may continue with the same behavior despite the relationship (Fisher, Moore & Pittenger, 2012). In the contemporary society, the feeling of men towards sluts may not tally with what women feel towards studs and this further aggravates the fact that the double standards is perpetuated by the female gender. Men are never attracted by the ability of a lady to have many men in her sleeves resulting into a situation where men prefer girls with exclusive sexual loyalty, a scenario that women does not seek in their men preferences. A man cannot stomach the idea of sharing his girl with other men despite the beauty and the fact that other men have shown interest in her (DeLamater & Hyde, 1998). This kind of scenario has been described under the Madonna-whore complex in which a man would desire her lady to be Madonna in the face of all other men but a whore for him. Men want to mould their ladies to be a lady while walking and working within the streets but a freak in between the sheets meaning that he needs a side of her that no man should be able to see or have. Women on the other hand prefer the sexual prowess of their men to be visible in public and admired with other girls within the street, a situation that that grants them the free run to have other affairs and flirt with any other girl that comes along (Gerodetti, 2004). The sexual double standards as far as this are concerned stems from the difference that both men and women give to their handling of sexual promiscuity. Women view promiscuity as a source of value and a capitalistic plus as long as she has the ability to tame it to an extent that she makes a single man loyal and faithful to her. While men value chaste and reserved women who are viewed as self-respecting, women believe such men are introvert that will not grant them the satisfaction that they need in life. This difference creates and strengthens the existence of the sexual double standards in the contemporary and modern society (Baumeister, 2000). Men view sexual promiscuity with precaution especially if such an individual will not be able to fit into the Madonna-whore complex in which sexual satisfaction is exclusively reserved to him. The double standard in the Madonna-whore complex arises when it is discussed in the face of the action of men and the demands of their women. Men want to be the whore to all and the Madonna to none and these results into a situation where they have multiple sexual partners with no preference or special attention to any (Basson, 2000). According to a study published by the social science research centre, the evidence of sexual double standards being perpetuated by the female gender was acquired. According to this survey, the participants were required to give their opinion on whether they respected men/women who hook up and have sex with multiple partners. Based on the results of the study as highlighted in the figure below, women showed respect to men with multiple partners while the men did not. This situation has been shown by other studies conducted on the same topic in which the level of double standards witnessed in our societies today have been attributed to the perception of the women (Carpenter, Nathanson & Kim, 2009). Adopted from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/strictly-casual/201403/is-our-sexual-double-standard-going-away The difference between men and women sexuality Men and women have had a difference in their traditional approach and view of sexuality and this has contributed to the propagation of double standards as far as sexual relations and affair are concerned. The difference has been associated with the impacts of the society that has created a situation where men and women are viewed from difference lenses and the women also holds opposing perception of difference category of men (Marks, 2008). However, the historical emergence of the sexual double standards has been as a result of the differences in the opinion and view towards sexuality as has been held by both men and women. Men are believed to be physical and more attracted to beauty as opposed to actions, deeds and behaviours. As a result, a man will conceptualize sexual relationship with another woman based on the physical attraction and not their level of commitment to men or past history. Women on the other hand tend to be relational in their physical attraction to men; a situation that makes them risk takers who have the ability to weigh on the best qualities of men yet chose the wrong category (Koon-Magnin & Ruback, 2012). Men have a compartmentalized approach to sexual relations and topics and this creates a situation where they tend to concentrate on a single quality in their pursuit of relationships. Women are however holistic especially if they are in need of a life partner, a person who will able to put food on the table and take care of the children at the same time. Physical and emotional oneness also differentiates men and women’s view of the issue of sexuality thus contributing to the development of the issue of double standards. Women prefer to have an emotional oneness with a man even in a situation where the relationship is built on a desire to have a physical sexual encounter (Ryan & Jethá, 2010). The desire of women and their attraction to men do not tally and this has led to the development of a number of problems which have affected their approach to the issue of sexuality. Despite the emotional and inner abilities that they look for in a man, they go for lads who will not be able to grant them the same thing due to their attraction to their physic and desires physical oneness as opposed to emotional oneness. Men have sex as the highest priority when entering into a relationship with a woman, a situation that differs from the desires of women who may want to achieve more as compared to achieving sexual gratification (Chivers, Seto & Blanchard, 2007). As indicated in the introduction section, the biblical view and perception of women has played a significant role in stereotyping the abilities of the two genders in the society. The bible considered the two genders as possessing different abilities and strengths which has been used today to confine women and men to specific role. In religion, the society has perfected the gender inequality to isolate women religious leaders across the globe and across different faiths (Lippa, 2006). Save for the modern Pentecostal churches coming up today, the mainstream churches have perfected the societal perception and created a religious society where social inequality based on gender is perfected. As the men continue to dominate major roles like in other sectors of the society, women have been confined to other peripheral roles like maintenance, assistance of the clergy and part of the choral teams. The ratio of male to female church leaders within the mainstream Christian churches has continued to lag with some churches like the catholic and faiths like the Muslim isolating the female from leadership roles. This attitude and stereotyped belief in the strength of the man as opposed to the strength and abilities of the woman within the religious discourse is borrowed from God’s directive to Moses in Leviticus over payment rates (Schmitt, Alcalay, Allik, Ault, Austers, Bennett, 2003). Despite the role that social inequality has played in defining gender roles, progress has been made today to ensure that a balance exist between the representation of roles in different sectors. Most countries have enacted laws that require one particular gender not to exceed a specific limit. This has enabled both genders to have a fair representation in different sectors of the economy and in other areas of the society. However, a look at the representation agreed by the law strengthens the belief that the stereotype is not leaving us any time soon (Sakaluk, 2012). Most of the countries have a two third rule which implies that one gender should not be more than the two thirds in relations to the others. Social inequalities has been considered as a source of a number of societal problems as breeds a group of people that are made to feel less important. The prevalence of gender inequality has led to redefinition of roles for the genders within our society, an aspect that has stuck for a longer time despite the attempts to eliminate them. The roles of both men and women in our society have not been defined by their abilities and knowledge but the stereotypes that created room for gender inequality (Petersen & Hyde, 2011). Stimulation in men and women differ and though this has openly differed with the contemporary view on double standards, it has failed to create significant impact on the position of women in the society as far as sex is concerned. Men are stimulated by touch smell and the physic of the body according to the Madonna-whore complex while women desire the action, the attitude and the actions. Men are more body cantered in their attraction to women who tend to be more person cantered in their pursuit for men of choice (Reiss, 1998). What is acceptable in today’s society Changes in technology and interaction with different civilisations have changed the view towards the issue of sexuality in the society today. The same has continued to affect the big debate of the presence of double standards within our society, an issue that has remained strongly embedded in our societal norms to a level that it is acceptable. As opposed to the arguments that previously existed and accelerated by the gender scholars, a number of stereotypic views and double standards have become acceptable within our societies. Men and women can today comfortably adopt a specific sexual life despite the conformity that it has with the issue of double standards as the society embraces and supports it (Schmitt, Alcalay, Allik, Ault, Austers, Bennett, 2003). For a long time, women and girls have been treated as devices for sexual gratification by men, a situation that has contributed to the issue of sexual double standards. However, in a society that supports men and women alike, the advancement of this notion and view cannot be blamed on the men but also the women alike. Today, women can become lawyers, engineers, doctors or any other career of their choosing without being victimized by the dominant gender in those careers. However, women have confined themselves to the traditional roles and positions that have contributed to the sexual differences and the issue of double standards (Conley, Moors, Matsick, Ziegler & Valentine, 2011). In movies, plays and even music videos, women are continuously shown as objects of sexual gratification, a situation that they have not worked to change. As a result, a perception has been developed that the female gender is comfortable with their traditional role that contributed to the emergence of the double standards in the first place. By failing to embrace modesty and accept the modern roles available for them, women have strengthened and made the sexual double standards acceptable within the modern society (Howell, Egan, Giuliano & Ackley, 2011). While historical evidence points to the weaknesses that the society placed on the female gender, the sexual double standard witnessed today arise from self-inflicted weaknesses. Women in the Victorian era were unable to argue for their rights and thus acquire same status with their men as they were not economically empowered as compared to their men. As a result, most of them lived at the mercies of their husbands and had no option but to be a sex object for the men. The same cannot be said of the women of today who have continued to advance in their careers and succeed in different economic and social fronts (Weaver, 2013). Despite this advantage, women have adopted specific lifestyles and perception towards social issues that have made them equally vulnerable to the issues of sexual double standards as the women of the Victorian era. For example, a woman who drinks herself stupid before the men is inviting retrogressive treatment from the same men and this furthers the double standard notion. The same can be said of the women who have continued to allow themselves to be used for various artistic and commercial ventures such as movies which have depicted them as sex objects and lesser beings as compared to the men (Lai & Hynie, 2011). The emergence of career for women has further created a new front for stereotypic double standards. Women who advance their professional careers past the age of thirty are viewed by the society as a failure or a whore due to her inability to settle down and have a family. This is further aggravated by the perception that a professionally advanced woman is not the best choice for a wife due to her desires to control the direction of the family. While professionally advanced women are dreaded by men due to their achievement, women prefer men who have good jobs and careers (Sagebin Bordini & Sperb, 2013). Apart from active responsibilities within the society, the presence of social injustice especially gender inequality has defined the participation of the genders in politics. The notion of being the weaker gender, one that has been moulded by the inequality concept, has confined political seats to the male gender. Despite the massive attempts that have been made to increase female representation in politics, their presence has remained significantly lower as compared to the male gender (Buss, 2003). The murky nature of politics that has led to its being defined as a men’s specialization has continued to side-line the participation of the female gender. Politics is associated with aggressiveness, malice and propaganda, one that demonstrates the abrasive nature of the male gender thus restricting the active participation of the female in it. In the United Kingdom for example, the ratio of male to female prime ministers has been significantly lower and this can only be due to the political aggressiveness that has been developed by male dominance in the area and gender inequality perpetuated by the system (Gordon & Dubois, 1983). Women prefer men who have the ability to woe many girls at the same time though may decide not to exercise such options for her sake, making it possible for them to be together along. Such an argument can be supported as a savvy player will still renege on such an argument though most girls feel like it is their responsibility to change them and make a good man out of the impossible. Studs that have the ability to attract beautiful girls become the most preferable by other girls despite the knowledge of the fact that he is a player and may continue with the same behavior despite the relationship. In the contemporary society, the feeling of men towards sluts may not tally with what women feel towards studs and this further aggravates the fact that the double standards is perpetuated by the female gender. Men are never attracted by the ability of a lady to have many men in her sleeves resulting into a situation where men prefer girls with exclusive sexual loyalty, a scenario that women does not seek in their men preferences. A man cannot stomach the idea of sharing his girl with other men despite the beauty and the fact that other men have shown interest in her. This kind of scenario has been described under the Madonna-whore complex in which a man would desire her lady to be Madonna in the face of all other men but a whore for him (Gordon & Dubois, 1983). Conclusion Sexual double standards are not a new phenomenon and have existed for a long period in the history of human beings. Research has attributed the treatment of women as lesser human beings to the early stereotypic positions that were developed which affected their position in the world. However, the continued existence of the issue of sexual double standards can be attributed to the actions or inaction of the women themselves which have worked against strengthening the role of their gender. Despite progress in the society and societal views towards the different genders, women have continued to live in a way that reflects the Victorian era in which they were assigned lesser roles. The perception of women towards sex and sexual relations with men has also advanced this position and given men the leeway to adopt the Madonna-whore complex without equality. This paper has discussed the contemporary and historical development of the issue of sexual development in the society from the Victorian era to date. 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