Family Communication - Essay Example

Family communications

Olson's Circumplex is a method applied in modeling family dynamics and it conceptualizes aspects of flexibility, communication skills, and cohesion which define the interactions of a family. The method suggests that the balanced levels of flexibility and cohesion are the most contributing aspects to operations of a healthy family. When there are unbalanced cohesion levels and flexibility, that is either very high or very low, problematic functioning of the family results. The model also incorporates methods of managing stress within the family in future. The importance of this model is to assess clinically, plan treatment and study the results of effective family therapy.

My family and I live in Macao through we originated from Shanghai. When the culture states that the parents and elders are in control of the lives of their children and cannot be questioned. Addressing them with respect is a requirement which each youth should follow. In my family, we live with my parents, my grandmother, my brother who is older than me and me. Therefore; my family is made up of five members. There are values and beliefs that bind my family due to the culture of our origin place. Thus, we believe in respecting the parents and grandparents, consulting them in everything we do and even letting them decide on our behalf.

The Olson's Circumplex Model is made up of three elements which require being integrated for a family to be perfect. The elements include flexibility, cohesion, and communication. In the model, communication is referred to as a facilitating model which contains the potential to support families to function better at the cohesion and flexibility levels. Families who exhibit balanced levels of openness and engagement to change usually score higher on measures of self-disclosure, showing respect and regard while communicating and listening skills (Ensher, 2009).

Flexibility is required in every family. At times, people staying together argue over things they that different views and rigidity is required to ensure the family is together, and they do not fall apart. The Olson's Circumplex Model addresses flexibility via examination of the change amount which is found in leadership, relationships duty and the rules that guide the family. In any health family, stability and change are vital as they bring adjustments to ensure every family member is satisfied with what they want at one time or the other. Change happenings in a family are the factor that is used to distinguish a functioning from a dysfunctional family.

When the flexibility rate is very low, rigidity results and the family cannot be able to evolve according to change brought about by the environment or by an individual. When flexibility is too much, chaos results due to lack of adaptation to too much change, there occurs a dramatic role shift which is hard to cope with, erratic discipline and lack of good leadership in the family structure. Too much rigidity is characterized by authoritarian leadership such that other family members have no say except the leader. Strict discipline to the children which makes them fears their parents and cannot even communicate effectively or relate well. Roles rarely changes and therefore no flexibility in such family and the relationship between the family members never improves.

The cohesion element explains the emotional bonding in a family which is measured in the circumplex model via the cohesion degree characterized by the nature and extent of connections, shared interests and boundaries in a family. Cohesion can be illustrated as the balance amongst the family members, their togetherness, and their independence as well. Family connection and togetherness and when necessary independence shows that a family is a health and they relate well to allow some space to each individual.

When the family is too close, enmeshment results that is the members have extreme emotional attachment and thus dependent and reactive to one another. Such families are illustrated by high quantities of loyalty and have least tolerant to private matters or outside relationships. Arguments in this type of family are likely to rise anytime one person has an outside relationship and may cause disengagement, less emotional closeness results. In this case, the family may be attached emotionally but not too much, and the members should also be loyal to their family despite the relationships formed outside the family. Independence should also be encouraged in these families (Dunhill, 2010).

In my family, the relationship is that of flexibility. The parents have given me and my brother the permission to choose what we want in life. We can as well form outside relationships as long as we consult them as it is the culture of our origin. Change is important in my family and in the case of change, everyone adapts easily. In our case, my father is the head of the household, and he is not a dictator as there are some matters which he counts everyone before passing his rule. He depends on my grandmother for advice because she is her mother and every child should consult their parents on the way forward on a matter.

The emotional bond in my family is not too strong, but we are loyal to the family and its traditions and engaged. Each one of us has the chance to make friends outside the family as it is health and our parents agree with it. There are boundaries set in my family to ensure that there is private to some extent in everyone’s life. We have to cope with the changing world, and it is, therefore, important to respect each other’s decisions as long as they will not hurt our family. Despite the private life, every member of my family has, togetherness still exists because there some things we have to do as a family as it is a requirement of our culture. Therefore, I can explain my family as a health family because we can adapt to change, yet be independent, and respect each other’s decisions and overall consult our elders.

Communication is the element that binds my family and me together. It is through communicating we can consult each other on life decisions. My parents and my grandmother have excellent listening skills when my brother and I want to talk about anything we can go to our parents, and they listen to us carefully and can advise us on what to do in life. Since we were youth, we were taught respective language such as when referring to our elders and with it we know how to communicate with respect not only to the family but the world as well. It is through communication we can talk about what we want in life and make the rest family members agree with us through convincing them the advantages of what we want to do. Therefore, effective communication has bound my family together and united us.

To ensure a perfect family, we have tried to integrate the elements of the Olson's Circumplex Model. In the case of chaos arising in the family due to disagreements, we use the cohesion elements and remind each there the values of a united family and the emotions that bind us. With that, we can come together, work out a plan that will satisfy every family member and communicate using respective language. In that way, the decision of everyone is put into consideration, and we change towards the unity of the family. In that way, despite our different views, we can stay loyal to the family as it is the base of everything we do in life (Boyle, 2008).

There are various concepts used to describe unifying of a family. Some of them include system theory, social learning approach, transpersonal theory and psychodynamic approach. The approach system theory explains the behaviors of people regarding needs of the individual, people’s attributes and expectations (Barker, 2007). In my family, my brother and I are expected to respect the elders and do all things we are told without questions. The parents expect to be respected due to their attributes to the family such as providing for us. Thus, we all have responsibilities ad when we fulfill them, we all live in peace.

The social learning theory happens after everyone learns from each other. Any change that is helpful is adopted, and we all learn to live with it for the unity of the family. When a member of my family comes up with a new concept, the teach everyone else, and we learn and apply it if it is helpful to the family. It ensures flexible and ability to adapt to any changes as long as it brings peace to the household. No one opposes such an idea (Benokraitis, 2011). The approach of transpersonal is a proposal to extra stages over the ego of adults. The stages are a contribution to altruism, wisdom, and creativity. In my family, this approach applies mostly to the parents and my grandmother. They should be able to advise us regularly applying the wisdom they have and show us the ways to follow. They should as well listen to use and support us in some decisions we make. The psychodynamic theory explains conscious and unconscious personalities (Miller-Day, 2011). These include being responsible, ability to follow rules the ego one has. My father is at times egocentric and does not want to listen to other people’s ideas, and it brings chaos at times. Each member should know their duties and act responsibly all the times.

The pattern that I would change for my family is the social learning theory. Living in the dynamic world, new things are arising all the time, and it should be the duty of each member to introduce an aspect that will unify the family more and bring love and respect and show it to the rest of the people. Every person should be flexible enough to learn and adapt to the new change if it is helpful.

In conclusion, for a family to maintain its togetherness, the first element they should all consider in their language. It is through communication each person will be able to deliver their message, convince the rest of the family members on what they want and make sure they deliver it in a respectful manner. The family should be able to adapt to change as through it; each member will be satisfied thus unity in the household.