Marriage in Literature - Essay Example

Marriage in Literature Introduction English have differently perceived the of marriage. Some consider this relationship as sacred1,2 in which love and understanding go hand in hand whereas some do not agree with this notion; and they reflect that the marriage kills love and women are not good at developing and maintaining strong and sound matrimonial relationship instead they argue that women are not mentally strong enough to understand the required level for developing intimate and close relations such as marriage. Keeping this view in mind, the reflections and infantisation of women in certain characters in Geoffrey Chaucer’s The Miller’s Prologue and Tale, George Eliots Middlemarch, and Henrik Ibsen’s A Dolls House have been critically assessed for understanding the role of women in the sacred relationship of marriage. In the following parts of this paper, first Chaucer’s contribution and work has been evaluated; it is followed by George Eliot’s Middlemarch and before the conclusion part Henrik Ibsen’s A Doll’s House has been provided. Geoffrey Chaucer’s The Millers Prologue and Tale critically assesses women’s role in marriage. This work has critically highlighted the role and work of women for the institution of marriage. In this novel, the author portrays the unfaithful picture and role of women even after the marriage where Alison enjoys and prefers to retain physical and emotional relations with more than one person. For example, after marrying with John, she starts to get attracted by other characters in the tale; and this attraction goes beyond the traditional boundary of chat and ends with the physical relationship with more than one character. Woman is an emotional being.3 When this aspect of ‘woman’ is analysed with today’s world, many cases confirm that wife is either compelled to develop and retain physical relationship or she prefers to violate the traditional way of life in which wife is strictly disallowed and it is unethical to develop physical relationship with strangers and others. In this regard, it is important to highlight that this type of immature behaviour even in today’s world clearly hallmarks that women have not been emotionally and mentally sound enough to understand the repercussions of developing or having such relationship. For example, it is common and understood man’s nature that he does not want her wife even his fiancée to have relationship with others as it is an inbuilt man’s psyche that wife cannot be allowed to have extra-marital relationship under any circumstances. In this regard, it is important to mention that if wife builds such relationship, it would not be possible for the husband to tolerate such relationship; and in some cases, the similar behaviour is also demonstrated by woman when man develops extra-marital relationship. Divorce ratio and extra-marital relationships are growing in today’s society. This can be mainly caused by the women’s inadequate understanding about this sacred relationship. This tendency also proves that women have not been able to fully understand the type and nature of marriage and the expectations of husband as well. In this regard, two different perspectives can be provided for further evaluation. First, it has been highlighted that women always want to be admired and it is their weakness that should receive attention and admiration from others; and for this purpose, they may not be hesitant to go any extent as well. Within this context, some suggests that women and beauty are interrelated as she is always associated with beauty and the beauty is that thing which is always praised by everyone. As a result, this perception has compelled women to ponder over those aspects which are superficial and have no concrete relationship as far as the marriage and things involved in such kind of relationship. Based on this aspect, some women also consider that men only needs beautiful wife and this aspect would attract and convince them to remain attached with the relationship. For example, same reflection is also found in Miller’s Prologue and Tale where Alison was attracted by the beauty tricks and different artificial methods for attracting her and gets her approval for the relationship. “Who hath no wyf, he is no cokewold.”4 Translation: “He who has no wife, he is no cuckold.” Woman is emotionally weak.5,6, 7Her emotionality is inbuilt to this quotation. The above mentioned quotation from Miller’s Prologue and Tale paints the character of woman after marriage. The quotation reflects that woman even after becoming wives would find it hard to resist their immaturity and continue to conduct and involve in those relationship which break her matrimonial relationship. In order to conclude the main objective of his work, the author has clearly provided that maturity and women are two different things which cannot be considered collectively. George Eliots Middlemarch positively puts light on the role of women as Middlemarch highlights numerous characters and their contribution to marital relationship. This work hallmarks the sacrifice and struggle of women in the Victorian age when females were tormented throughout this period. Within this context, George Eliot has highlighted the various faces of woman and her struggle for obtaining the right and dignified status in the society. Dorothea is the main character in this novel as she faces and observes various levels and types of marital relationships, has strong understanding about the institution of marriage. In this regard, it is important to highlight that there were various occasions when she appreciated marriage and denounced the extra-marital relationship. Additionally, she compares and contrasts love and marriage are two different things and must not be used interchangeably as well. Although she insists that marriage is something that encourages women to become a part of life that comes after marriage, yet she observes some wives having and enjoying extra-marital relations. “I mean, marriage drinks up all of our power of giving or getting any blessedness in that sort of love. I know it may be very dear—but it murders our marriage—and then the marriage stays with us like a murder—and everything else is gone.”8 In these lines, the author emphasizes that love and marriage should not be used interchangeably as both have different meaning and sense instead the author has undermined the marriage and has admired love more than the act of marriage. More specifically, the author highlights that love is something that is blessed which provides romantic moments and feelings and that are always expected and required by women. In this regard, it is important to mention that the author supports the institution of marriage and wants that it should not exist without the support of love. In other words, love must exist between husband and wife so as to protect and prevent the institution of marriage and sustain it for a longer period of time. Indirectly, George Eliot is supporting that love and marriage must go hand in hand. For a romantic relationship, love is blessing as it provides an opportunity to develop intimacy and cordial relationship between romantic couples as it is a primary and basic relationship.9 Here, love refers to special emotional feelings for someone who is highly important. When love is compared with marriage, it becomes clear that marriage is something that is different and requires long term commitment and responsibility as well. In other words, it can be deduced that marriage has legal and family routes which are beyond the ambit of love which normally exists between two persons; moreover, in love, it is not essential that family members of both individuals should endorse this relationship instead it only relies on the free and natural consent of two individuals. On the other hand, as mentioned in the last line of the above quote, marriage has been highlighted as reflecting murderer of love. In the above mentioned quotation, it is clearly signified that the author has more preference for love than for the marriage as she remembers marriage with a negative connotation. Additionally, it is important to specify that George Eliot has clearly hinted that happiness cannot only be pursued through the source of marriage as it is commonly believed across all societies. At the same time, in the quoted lines, George Eliot indirectly highlights the presence of extra-marital relationship of wife with other men, reflecting that women have not been able to control her tendency of having more than physical partners throughout the history which proves that she has remained immature and this immaturity has become the innate nature of women and especially in the marital relation as well. Henrik Ibsen’s A Dolls House paints different picture of marriage in this work. In this work, the author highlights the beautiful dimension of marriage and maturity of women for retaining and understanding the required level in marriage. In this work, the author highlights the sincerity of Torvald’s wife as she takes every possible step to satisfying her husband’s wishes and only wants to preserve this relationship not only for her husband but also for the family as well. In this positive depiction of female character, it can be easily understood that marriage can be a beautiful gift from the Mother Nature which joins them not only in this world but also in the Heaven as well. Marriage also reflects positive and strong signs of love in wife for her husband as well.10 And marriage should be treated as apex of their life.11 In this regard, it is important to mention that it would have been impossible to know and understand the positive and constructive contribution had there been no work produced by Henrik Ibsen. In other words, in today’s world, this type of relationship is becoming rare and more focus is being given to physical aspect than the emotional aspect of marriage and love as well. Love provides an opportunity to understand each other and to pass their remaining life together. And this promise would highlight their commitment with each other and the level of maturity they would show in coming days of life. At the beginning of a loving relationship, things look attractive and beautiful where emotions play their central role and convince people that life is beautiful and it is incomplete without love and affection. And before the start of marriage, only emotions work to convince lovers to care for each other. However, after the marriage, the real test begins in which both are required to show maturity and of the relationship by doing something more than the requirements highlighted by emotions. For example, after marriage, the husband assumes the role of beard earner and the wife assumes the role of mother and caring wife as well. Both roles are highly critical as they would reflect the level of commitment and love for each other. Before the start of marriage, both make tall claims for showing love and care and after marriage, it is time to prove the validity of those claims which were made before the start of the marriage. If the wife becomes a responsible and caring wife and good mother, marriage would become a gift from the Mother Nature for the couple or vice versa. In this regard, it is reasonable to highlight that woman’s maturity and her role after marriage is of crucial importance for preserving the marriage whereas some responsibility also lies on the shoulder of husband as well. At the same time, it is appropriate to highlight that woman has more responsibility for preserving the marriage as it is commonly believed and observed that society has been male-dominated where man always tries to put his wish over woman and the woman being socially weaker gender finds its hard to resist and go against the will and wish of the man. More clearly, man has been given authority to look after woman besides providing basic needs. In other words, it is the responsibility of man to care for her by ensuring that she always receives that is required by her. And this is also found in the following quote where the whole architecture of marriage and love is summed up in just two lines. “Free. To be free, absolutely free. To spend time playing with the children. To have a clean, beautiful house, the way Torvald likes it.”12 This quotation clearly represents wife’s love and care for her husband’s expectations and for her family needs as well. In this quotation, Henrik Ibsen highlights Nora’s excitement for her husband and family as she wants to love her children and wants to play with them as well. in this regard, it is important to note that, in this particular quotation, wife has been positively portrayed as a responsible and strong part of the family institution as she always wants love and seeks romantic affair within the family institution. This tendency is also found even in today’s world as well. Additionally, the quotation points out that Nora does not want to satisfy her wishes instead she is more inclined and ready to appease husband and is willing to go any extent for satisfying the expectation of husband. “Who hath no wyf, he is no cokewold.”13 Translation: “He who has no wife, he is no cuckold.” “I mean, marriage drinks up all of our power of giving or getting any blessedness in that sort of love. I know it may be very dear—but it murders our marriage—and then the marriage stays with us like a murder—and everything else is gone”14 “Free. To be free, absolutely free. To spend time playing with the children. To have a clean, beautiful house, the way Torvald likes it.”15 Marriage is not a commercial engagement16 and the fulfilling marriages do not just take place17 as comparison between these quotations represents the different perspectives of the authors about marriage. For example, that both Geoffrey Chaucer and George Eliot reflect similar perspective which is contrary to the perspective of Henrik Ibsen. First two quotations (“Who hath no wyf, he is no cokewold: He who has no wife, he is no cuckold; “I mean, marriage drinks up all of our power of giving or getting any blessedness in that sort of love. I know it may be very dear—but it murders our marriage—and then the marriage stays with us like a murder—and everything else is gone”) highlight negative side of the marriage as it creates mistrust and extra-marital relations; on the contrary, the third quotation (“Free. To be free, absolutely free. To spend time playing with the children. To have a clean, beautiful house, the way Torvald likes it.”) puts light on the positive side of marriage where this relation creates and provides life to family life and solidifies the relationship between husband and wife and between parents and children as well. Moreover, marriage is something more than human relationship.18 As a result, this positive relationship provides stronger foundation to the institution of family. In contrast, first two quotations depict negative image of marriage which does not provide stable foundation to family instead it is a poison for any relationship that is developed for making such type of understanding. For example, Geoffrey Chaucer has attached the presence of wife with threat of cuckold and similarly George Eliot considers marriage as murderer. More clearly, any such relationship would cease to exist where the word “cuckold” is commonly heard and said between husband and wife. In other words, it can also be deduced that women cannot be forced to change and control their tendency for developing and retaining close relationship with more than one person. Besides, it is man’s psyche that he does not want to hear the word “cuckold” as it reflects insult and degradation of man’s self-esteem and image as well. Additionally, the perspective of George Eliot also signifies that marriage kills love and romantic understanding between lovers. However, it is difficult to fully agree with the perspective of first two quotations. First, two quotations (“Who hath no wyf, he is no cokewold: He who has no wife, he is no cuckold” ; “I mean, marriage drinks up all of our power of giving or getting any blessedness in that sort of love. I know it may be very dear—but it murders our marriage—and then the marriage stays with us like a murder—and everything else is gone”) reflect fantasy stories and personal observations of Geoffrey Chaucer and George Eliot; and they do not fully represent the actual life existing between a married couple. At times, the authors use personal subjective judgements and impose them through the source of poetry on society as they want society and others to see the world through their prism. At the same time, it cannot be denied that some individual situations may represent the weaker side of marriage in which wife faces certain domestic issues. However, such problems are isolated and they cannot be termed as representing the social trend in marriage and even in romantic relationships as well. Conclusion Marriage is an important social institution as it retains and provides basic infrastructure to family system. For the effective and smooth running of this social system, the role of wife is of crucial importance. However, in the English literature, woman has been identified with strange tendencies which represent her immature and incapable of developing and retaining strong and stable marital relationship. For example, in the works of Geoffrey Chaucer and George Eliot, wife has been identified as immature as she is more inclined to develop extra-marital relationship whenever she finds any opportunity. The characters such as Alison have been used to prove this aspect of woman. On the other hand, woman has also been identified as strong part of a family institution where she remains keen to satisfy the expectations of husband and children as well. And for obtaining this purpose, she can go to any extent. References Bogle, J. Ed, Engaged To Be Married: A Gift Book for Engaged Couples, Herefordshire: Gracewing Publishing, 2001 Botham, F. Almighty God Created the Races: Christianity, Interracial Marriage, and American Law, North Carolina, University of North Carolina, 2009. Cooke, G. W. George Eliot: A Critical Study of Her Life, Writings and Philosophy, Cambridge, Cambridge University Press, 2010 Dixon, G.E. One in the Spirit: Women and Ministry in the Church. Indiana: Author House, 2011 Grevstad, J. Red State, Blue State: Defending the Liberal Jesus and Blue State Morality From Red Religion and Hypocrisy. Lincoln: iUniverse, 2005 Harris, J. Authentic Joy, United States: Xulon Press, 2010, Hislop, B.W. Shepherding A Woman’s Heart: A New Model for Effective Ministry to Women, Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2003, Horvath, T. Thinking about Faith: Speculative Theology, Quebec: McGill Queen’s Press, 1927. Ibsen, H. A Doll’s House, Rockville: Serenity Publishers, 2009, Lystra, K. Searching the Heart: Women, Men, and Romantic Love in Nineteenth-Century America, Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1989. Mast, C. K.Love and Life: A Christian Sexual Morality Guide for Teens, United States: Ignatius Press, 2005. Montagu, A. The Natural Superiority of Women, 5th edn., California: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, 1999, Munroe, M. Purpose and Power of Love and Marriage, Shippensburg: Destiny Image, 2002 Smalley, G. Hidden Keys of a Loving, Lasting Marriage, Michigan: Zondervan, 1988, Wainwright, J. Poetry: The Basics, 2nd edn., New York: Routledge, 2013 Read More