I asked him why he thought these things were not fair and I encouraged him to give it more meaning for him.
3. "It makes me feel very good". This is a phrase that many people say but that was difficult for my friend because he does not know how he feels most of the time. He has other health issues so I encouraged him to talk about how the other health issues relate to his use of medicinal marijuana.
4. "Youre kiddin me! " Another phrase like #1 but it is used when my friend wants to communicate a fact that he finds intriguing and at the same time amazing. He would say this in relationship to my requests about the legal ramifications of his using the marijuana.
At the end of the conversation I paraphrased what he had said to make sure that I had all the "facts" correct. My friend said that he had a good conversation and was happy that he could help me with my school project.
The difference between eliciting a comment and giving meaning to something a client says is best served by examples. When one is eliciting a comment from a client, the therapist is asking for more information about something specific. As an example, a client may be talking about their daughter and how they are angry with them. The therapist might ask, "so you are pretty upset with your daughter for [blank]". The client will most likely say something like, "yes, I am." This example shows how one might elicit a comment from a client. On the other hand, the therapist may state, "tell me more about that." In this way, the therapist is asking for more information about the reasons why this individual is so angry at their daughter and asking for a deeper meaning than, "because she wont listen to me".
Ivey, Ivey, & Zalaquett (2010) suggest that when you use eliciting or reflection you are using whichever one is appropriate for the specific situation you are in (p. 324). When I would ask a client about the fact that she is upset with her daughter, I would