The Effects of Divorce on Children - Coursework Example

Research Paper on One of the Eight Perspectives in Chapter 3 Introduction The central question studied in this paper is ‘What are the effects of divorce on children?’ It is a general understanding that divorce of parents is an extremely unpleasant situation especially for growing children aged above 3. Therefore this study has been undertaken to find out what really the children have to go through during a divorce and is the general understanding correctly presumed or not. Children are left psychologically and emotionally drained after such an experience. Divorces have become quite common in our country but it still leaves the child feeling awkward and left out. Over 1 million American children suffer from the divorce of their parents each year. There is a transition period in which the child adjusts himself to the situation and gets used to the new lifestyle. The child also needs to get used to seeing one parent on the weekend while living with the other. This varies according to the judgment of the court or the decision made by the lawyers (Wayne Parker, n.d). The time of the divorce plays a huge role as well. Some studies have been done to study the effect of a divorce on different aged children. The perspective that fits into the purpose and research of this study is the Structure Functional perspective which views the family as a social institution which performs certain functions. Each member of the family has a part to play and in divorced households, there is something lacking because one member of the family is not present to play his part. Therefore this insight will help us study the question: “What are the Effects of Children on divorce?” Literature Review To explore the research question of finding the effects on children of a divorce, several articles were studied to gain insight on the issue. An article by Sara Eleoff, by the name of ‘An Exploration of the Ramifications of Divorce on Children and Adolescents,’ tells us about the initial reactions that the child gives. The divorce not only affects the child but also the relationship that each parent has with the child individually and collectively. Once a child finds out that his or her parents are going through a divorce they seek out support from adults other than their relatives. They feel that they can not trust anybody and their belief in love is lost for a time period. As the family disintegrates the children become more vulnerable and sensitive to small issues. Finding support in unknown places is what the children look for because their belief in the sacredness of family has just dissolved and they do not want to trust anybody who is a relative. (Eleoff, 2003) There have been many studies which have studied the affect of divorce on children by grouping them into age groups. The age groups are: pre-school, which is age 3 to 5; early latency, age 6 to 8; late latency, age 8 to 11; adolescence, age 12 to 18. During the pre-school age, the child feels more insecurity and sleep disturbances. The child is most likely to yearn for the non-existent parent. At the early latency stage, the child’s fears are more open and he can easily express his sorrow. They do not want to accept the divorce and have fantasies about their parents getting back together. Late latency children experience powerlessness. They tend to choose sides, one of the parents, one of them becomes the good parent and the other parent becomes the bad parent. They make more sacrifices for the parent. Adolescence take divorce with depression, they may act out violently and be a rebel. As this group is more aware of the situation they do not neglect their own needs and understand the parent’s side of the divorce after some time. In the initial stages they judge the parent’s decision. (Eleoff, 2003) The long term affect according to many years of studies show that divorce is not only as stressful time in children’s lives but it also can have an effect on their psychosocial functions. Later in life they may have a fear of failing at marriage and not being able to maintain a family. “Up to 66% of the women between the ages 19-23 were interviewed during 10 years post-divorce had a resurgence of anxiety, fear, guilt, and anger that they had suppressed for many years”. According to the research the anger would usually resurface when the adolescents were trying to make major life decisions like career or marriage. (Eleoff, 2003) An article by Wayne Parker, talks about the effect of divorce on children and how they cope with it. Wayne has mentioned some reasons why children are impacted by divorce. According to Wayne, divorce is not just about the couple but about the whole family. Everybody needs to be taken into perspective before a decision can be made. Children fear divorce because they fear change. After a divorce, their whole lifestyle changes, they may even have to move and make new friends, nothing remains the same and this scares them. They fear that they will be abandoned as both parents are thinking about themselves. They fear that nobody will be there to fulfill their social and emotional needs. They think that loosing one parent can also lead to loosing the other. When children have a secure relationship with their parents or one of their parents, they fear separation may cause harm to this relationship and this might break. There is tension in the house; there are fights and arguments which result in the child having to deal with the divorce and then these tensions. Some children want to get their parents back together. In such a scenario, they either be very good thinking that the parents would reward him by getting back together or they become a rebel and try and get the parents attention in other ways. (Wayne Parker) Aggression, defiance, depression and withdrawal are many other feeling and emotions that the child goes through when the structure of their family has been distorted. The values that they hold dear before the divorce are shattered and nobody knows what role they perform in the structure. Wayne has suggested some things that parents should do to make the situation better for the children. First of all they should be involved, try and not change the rules and both play a role in the children’s life. Secondly, the parents should respect one another especially in front of the children, they should not complain about their partner in front of the children. Lastly, they should get help whenever they need some and try and maintain the same routine as before with only a few minor changes. (Wayne Parker) Lacey R. Chandler in her article, ‘The social and educational effects of Divorce,’ mentions a few studies which prove that divorce has lasting affects on the child’s ability to maintain long term relationships and feeling of anxiousness is common when taking such decisions. Stevenson & Black (1996) research showed that when children reach puberty early, it leads to early sexual relations and as a result shorter and unstable relationships. A study by Jaquet and Surra (2001) showed that people whose family had undergone a divorce tended to show lesser amount of trust in their relationships, thus weakening the relationships their very core. (Chandler, 2002) Lesley Foulkes-Jamison (2001), talks about more or less the same things that children go through during a divorce. Her article ‘The Effects of Divorce on Children,’ has been published on the website of, Clinical Psychology Associates of North Central Florida, P.A. According to her adjustment to divorce requires two years or more. During this period of time it is up to the parent to be sensitive to the child’s needs. One thing that she mentions is that, gender also plays a role in how the child copes with the divorce. Girls will be withdrawn and they will become loners while boys will retaliate and show aggression. Another social factor which influences the children’s functioning in society is that girls become sexually active at an earlier age when they are from divorced families. While, boys do readjust themselves to the social system of society, especially when their mothers get married again, girls on the other hand face more problems. Children which have a difficult temperament to begin with face more problems during and after a divorce. Both parents need to be patient and comforting, the quicker a routine is adopted, which is similar to the old routine, the sooner the child will be able to get over the trauma of divorce and get back into a normal social structure and system. (Lesley Foulkes-Jamison, 2001) Conclusion The purpose of this paper was to examine the research question, ‘What are the Effects of Children on divorce?’ The structure functional perspective, the family is the basic institution to help perform the social functions needed by society. When children go through these problems, they look up to family and both parents help in individual ways, not having either one will affect the way children view life and cope with social problems. All these articles talk about the effects of divorce on children. Family is a social system in our community. It helps a child develop as a person and learn things about life, small lessons that may not be taught in school. The function that a family with two parents performs may not be the same functions that a family with a single parent can perform. The effects on children are long lasting and it hampers their ability to perform normal social functions the way everybody else does. They may be scared of making emotional decisions in their adult life based on what they went through during the divorce. Therefore the general perceptions of the public hold true that the divorce of the parents is extremely difficult for the children, not only in the short run, but also throughout their lives. The purpose of this paper was to examine the research question, ‘What are the effects of divorce on children?’, thus the research has revealed that children need to be looked after carefully and attention must be given to them for their common good and as they are the leaders for tomorrow. Bibliography 1. Lacey R. Chandler, 2002, The social and educational effects of Divorce, http://clearinghouse.missouriwestern.edu/manuscripts/381.asp 2. Lesley Foulkes-Jamison, 2001, The Effects of Divorce on Children, Clinical Psychology Associates of North Central Florida, P.A. http://cpancf.com/articles_files/efffectsdivorceonchildren.asp 3. Sara Eleoff, Nov 2003, An Exploration of the Ramifications of Divorce on Children and Adolescents, The Child Advocate, http://www.childadvocate.net/divorce_effects_on_children.htm 4. Wayne Parker, The Effects of Divorce on Children and How to Cope, About.com, http://fatherhood.about.com/cs/divorceddads/a/divorcekids.htm Read More