Relational Conversation Skills - Essay Example

Relational Conversation Skills

Introduction

In every aspect of life, people are faced with a lot of challenges in handling difficult conversations. In as much as the excellent conversation may be very joyful and essential, this is not what people always achieve at the end of the conversation. Sometimes people find themselves in challenging, embarrassing, and frustrating conversations due to inappropriate skills of handling an awkward conversation. Even amid such an uneasy and challenging discussion, some will be able to handle such communication, but others will not be able to. Having prepared a scenario and it never went on well for me, I realized that my relational skills were wanting and that I needed to learn a lot about it. Luckily, I acquired massive relational skills and did my round three redos, which were highly recommendable. This ultimate result was facilitated by the learning through (Browning et al., 2007).

Why the negotiation/awkward conversation did not go well in real life

First, I had a poor start in my conversation. Always it is essential to consider any beginning of a conversation. Before doing the redo exercise, I had a lot of irrational and challenging start in my discussion. However, this was the case because I had little skills in starting such conversation, and that is why I couldn't do much in real-life situations. I also never bared in mind the kind of provocation I was giving to the next party. Also, I figured out that I wasn’t supposed to begin my conversation by just highlighting my problem. As for the case in my real-life scenario, I focused on telling Alan how much I have difficulty with some new hires as a result of mistakes committed by jasmine. This only depicts my judgmental personality about the other people, and it would instantly provoke a defensive response from the other party.

The other reason I found my negotiation in real life didn't go well is my poor self-expression. By far, I could only consider my points and views as being the only guiding path to deciding to solve the problem at hand. For instance, when I told Alan how much my work was being interrupted by jasmine. I converged my mind to myself and thinking Alan was just following my opinions in finding a reasonable decision. This was tragic, and it did not result well since I had no room for the ideas and views of Alan. I relied much on my imagination and thought would be the main avenue of getting my issue of new hires resolved. More so, I failed to point out what was the matter and what was essential for me. Much of what I had presented to Alan was just a reflection of mere truth, and I saw it as entirely accurate. I perceived my points and opinion on the issue as bare truth by legalizing them through personal exaggeration (Browning et al., 2007). I never allowed Alan to paraphrase what I was passing across. Thus it became difficult for him to actualize the issue and the challenge that is was experiencing in my workplace thus making the scenario fail to go well in the real life.

Consequently, I also failed to carefully listen to what Allan was telling me. Due to this poor conversational approach, I found out that I didn’t understand Alan in whatever advice he was giving to me about the issue of new hires and the issue of blaming jasmine for causing impending in my work. Since starting a conversation is always in the choice of any person, this should be done at the epitome of one’s ability. Having failed to listen effectively to Alan demonstrated lack or less concern about his opinion and views and this facilitated highly to my downfall in the exercise scenario in the real-life situation. I failed to ask Alan more questions and additional information that could have been a suitable motivation for example on the issue of increasing new hires and that would have inspired him to reciprocate positively and feel more cared for and concerned for in his opinions (Von Gunten, et al., 2000). Besides, I only focused on cross-examining what Alan tried to pass across and this seriously backfired to me now that was left with less guidance and advice to operationalize. Besides that, I was not keen enough to learn how much I was provoking him constantly by pointing out my problems at the start of a conversation.

Also, the scenario did not go well because I focused more on blaming one of my workmates in the conversation. During any operation, mistakes are prone to arise, and it is the role of everyone to correct and guide another one for a fruitful end. However, when people focus on assigning blames to other people, the goals of the operations cannot be achieved. In the same way, when having a difficult conversation, focusing on blames in a mid of conversation is a bad idea since it makes it difficult for one to learn the underlying problem and how to solve it (difficult conversation pg. 26). In my real-life scenario, I focused on blaming jasmine on how she was not responding to my texts and how she was acting rude on me. I failed to focus on mapping Jasmine's contribution to the situation of the new hires that we were having. Here, I failed to understand the need for joint responsibility and the need to consider future problems. Sometimes characters such as jasmine may have contributed to a problematic situation but that did not guarantee blames anyway. Instead of just acknowledging her contribution that could have helped me from blaming her I focus on her mistakes (Gray, 1994). This was the ultimate provocation of anger to Alan and that is why the scene didn’t go well.

How Round 3, the redo went during my exercise and how my redo differed from how the negotiation/difficult conversation went in real life,

However, after undergoing the relational skills redo exercise, I found out that, I had accumulated more excellent skills that helped me to have a better conversation scenario. At first, I thot the same mistakes that I had committed to failing to handle a difficult conversation would still arise, but this was not the case anymore since I had grasped the skills and I had developed courage in utilizing the relevant skills. Round three was more effective since I had mastered the skills and I had integrated them. I learned to make a productive opening of my conversation. Instead of beginning with an act of laying my problems like the first real-life scenario when I told Alan of my issues with jasmine, I made my opening within a very neutral ground and I was able to invite Alan to understand the issue at hand and make a joint problem solving over the issue of jasmine that made the work of new hire difficult. Moreover, I considered the position of jasmine in making a joint decision making (Browning, et al., 2007). I posed the challenge to Alan with clear concern and with a serious consideration that jasmine is part of the company and she is also Important in finding the solution of the company. Regardless of the mistake, she could have committed that may have brought a significant problem, I learned that it was not right to raise blame amid a difficult conversation since that only depicts my bad personality of being judgmental to Alan.

Also, I was very careful when expressing my own opinions, views, and ideas. Here, I learned that appreciating the other person’s opinion is important and that it was key especially in a difficult conversation. In the real-life scenario, I was not curious enough, I had not learned to execute empathy during a difficult conversation. Empathy helps one to be able to demonstrate the needs and interests of others but not necessarily agreeing with them (the assertiveness workbook pg. 67). This characterized the whole difference between my third round redo and real life. This is evident when I not able to demonstrate the perspective of Alan when he implied that am complaining about jasmine that is a work collogue. Also, I had not learned to be assertive when articulating my opinions and ideas. After adopting the two techniques of negotiation, I successfully managed to make an excellent redo. Besides, the learning exercise had equipped me with skills of how well I can explain my narrative if any. In the real lie scenario, I was sketchy and crafty in making Alan understand what my issues were, in as much as I was trying to pass my message to him, he seemed to grasp the endpoint of some of my vindications. As such, I learned that I was not coming out clear to him in a coherent manner when explaining my points and how I was advocating my interest was too low from a good conversational standard. All said and done, I spotted all this and I gradually picked momentum towards a better improvement as far as handling difficult conversation is concerned.

Furthermore, during the practice, I was able to understand the need to effectively listen to the other party. This is something that I was not so conscious of, but in the long run during the exercise, I captured this instrumental skill and utilized it in my redo exercise. The conversation with Alan in the third round was so successful because I had actualized the art of considerate and careful listening (Gray, 1994). I could ask Alan open questions about the new hire and advice on issues that were at hand in the company. as such, Alan for the very first time felt cared for, this is because he learned I was eager and ready to hear and listen from him about any matter concerning the organization. The redo was therefore so different from the real-life conversation in that, In the real-life scenario, there were fewer listening skills integrated and therefore Alan was easily upset and could just avoid the conversation. as such Alan employed the mode of avoidance. In this case, he was displaying little empathy or assertive. Alan just had a belief that the discussion about jasmine would result in conflict and he knew that was not productive thus channeled in focusing to look for solutions.

How my relational skills improved during the redo, and what impact that improvement had on the negotiation/difficult conversation.

As such, it was a new down to me after learning how much I had improved my ability to handle a difficult conversation, integrating skills of the proper opening of the discussion, being more focused in listening to the other party, having the ability to execute empathy and assertiveness in the conversation and also being able to express myself without hurting or causing discomfort to the other person was just remarkable improvement that is recorded during the redo exercise (Meyer, et al., 2009). This improvement was evident when I did a cross-analysis of my redo and the previous scenario in real life. The improvements played a critical role in my understanding of conversational requirements and it also escalated my ability to handle any difficult situation that might resurface. Also, in such a crucial and important position in a company, such skills and improvement have gone deep to positively affect my performance.

Conclusion

In conclusion, difficult conversations will always come on someone’s way. Therefore, one must take time to learn what difficult conversations are, how they roll out in different situations, and how one can handle them at the end of the day. I agree that it is very challenging to tackle every hard difficult conversation that comes on the way, but when one adopts the four techniques that I found myself missing out in my real-life scenario that answers the question on how to start a conversation effectively by avoiding description of your problem and rather start the conversation on a neutral part, how to effectively express yourself without disregarding the other person, how to also make a perfect listening to the other party and lastly being able to execute empathy and assertiveness (Von Gunten, et al., 2000). With this technique and others, one can be able to perfectly handle any difficult conversation without any having a challenge.