Arranged Marriages within the Indian and Chinese Cultures - Research Paper Example

Arranged Marriages within the Indian and Chinese Cultures Introduction Marriage is a social union in which created kinship among the parties involved in sexual and intimate relationships is acknowledged. Arranged marriage is a situation in which the couple to wed do not make the choices of the person to marry. In this case, courtship process is curtailed and avoided. Arranged marriages are deep-rooted in aristocratic and royal families worldwide. Apart from Chinese and Indian ones, other cultures practicing arranged marriages include Asian countries such as Pakistan, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh, and Africa. Arranged marriage should not be confused with forced marriage in which one party is forced to get married to another. Arranged marriages are the responsibilities of older family members, parents, matchmaking agents or trusted parties. In some cultures, courting is not prevalent. Spouses are brought together by their parents. In this case, it is the responsibility of the parent to see to it that his or her child passes the marital rites. This way, the adult children see it as a norm. The people who are responsible for the arrangement marriages might be subjective to emotional infatuation and come up with illogical decisions. In either case, intra-generational relationships supersede marital relationships. Following the partners sharing some factors, it is believed that some form of understanding develops between the couple and the relationship lasts. Discussion Arranged marriages are practiced in China and India with the sole aim of maintaining the social caste. Families bring the children together so that they may keep the family ties strong. In India, arranged marriages, though discouraged, are widely practiced. The parents see it as their personal responsibility to ensure that their children pass their marital rites. The legal age for marriages in India is 18 for females and 21 for males. However, through arranged marriages, family members marry their girls as early as 15 but the marriages consummated after the ages of 18 (Seymour and Seymour 132). In China, arranged marriages are practiced at a low rate because the pace of technology in the country does not allow for conservation of some cultural practices. Females are supposed to marry at the age of 21 and 23 for males. This means that the parents can only seek for suitors for the children at the right age. However, in China, people are given the right to choose their partners and it is only after they have made their choices that the parents can intervene in wedding preparations (Fox 191). Similarities Arranged marriages are common within the Chinese and Indian cultures. These two cultures share a number of factors they put into consideration when coming up with the best match. Among the major factors is that of religion. In both cultures, it is believed that the preference should be given to the people sharing same spiritual and religious beliefs. Culture and caste is also another most common factor considered in both cultures. When picking on the matches, food habits, language, and region are considered so that the couple share the same culture (Fox 182). Reputation of each party together with that of the family and friends that directly affect the reputation of the party are considered. One can have a good reputation but fail to be selected because of the bad reputation of his or her friends or family members. Dowry is an extremely important factor for both cultures, thus, a match would be selected from people sharing the same social class. A lady from a wealthy family background would have a match selected from a gentleman with a similar family background (Reaves 4). Vocation is another factor considered in both cultures. However, the vocation of the man matters more than that of the woman. The man has to provide for the family and as a result, he should be with a substantial amount of income. Even though male matches would probably be selected from a high social status, it does not mean that those from low social classes lack female matches. Similarly, this does not mean that a man should always earn a greater salary than the wife; both can be earning equally. However, a female match should not be earning more than the male counterpart does (Fox 187). In both cultures, arranged marriages undergo a number of steps. These steps make the two cultures somehow similar in the way they conduct their marriages. Some of the similar steps from those involved are exchange of gifts, deciding on the wedding date, wedding ceremony, and engagement ceremony. The two cultures understand that marriage is not a one-day process and thus has to take a long process for it to be successful. The parents have to be certain of all issues raised since marriage is a permanent union so that their children are happy. This is what makes arranged marriage different from forced marriage (Reaves 4). Differences Even though arranged marriages in both countries undergo a series of steps, there are notable differences in the steps undertaken. In India, the process has to be undertaken by the parents or a middleman selected while in China, most of the decisions are made after consultation with fortune tellers and the Chinese Zodiac. Prior to a wedding date is set for instance, a fortuneteller should give a list of the most preferable dates based on the astrological book. However, in Indian culture, the dates are set based on the best time many people would be available usually in summer (Seymour and Seymour 112). Another notable difference in cultures is that of dowry. While the man’s parents pay the dowry to the girl’s parents in China, in India, the girl’s family pays the dowry. Dowry in India is an appreciation to the man for agreeing to stay with their daughter. This is seen as a pay-off to the man to accept the liability of staying with the girl. In China, the man’s family appreciates the girl’s acceptance of their son through dowry. Dowry in this case is seen as a payment made to the girl’s family for staying without her (Fox 185). The first step in Chinese arranged marriage is that of information gathering. It is not possible for the people responsible for arranged marriage to hold meetings with the families concerned. The first step would be to gather information about the families of interest regarding issues such as social family background, family’s reputation, cultural beliefs and practices among other factors. After the best family of interest is identified from the choices, a meeting is held but not at the home of either of the families; preferably in a restaurant. In the meeting, the issues are raised of social background, reputation, and cultural practices. The success of the discussion depends on the presentations made by the parties. Even when the information is done at the homestead of the girl, the man’s family should not be served with tea to avoid enlightening both families. However, the process is different in India. After the best girl match has been identified, the boy’s father sends a letter to the girl’s family asking for their daughter. If the girl’s father accepts through a letter, the first meeting is held at the girl’s home where she serves the man’s family with food. After the two families come to an agreement, the woman asks for blessings from the man’s parents (Ahmad 23). In China, the reputation of both the man and the woman matters a lot before the best matches could be selected. Further, both parties are selected in terms of educational background, with consideration made on the jobs they hold. This is different in India where appearance looks rather than the level of education one has acquired are used to judge the woman. In fact, even if the woman is salaried, after the arranged marriage pushes through, she has to drop her work to take care of the family (Seymour and Seymour 98). Through dowry payment in arranged marriages in China, the boy’s family shows its appreciation to the girl’s family and proves that it is able to take good care of the girl once they start living together. This is a surety that the girl would be comfortable. On the contrary, the payment of dowry by the girl’s family to the boy’s family is a sign that the girl’s family has been relieved of a burden. They pay because the boy has accepted to stay with their daughter. This is to encourage marriage because staying single is not accepted in the Indian culture. In fact, a woman who decides to stay single or who divorces her husband is seen as a social misfit (Ahmad 16). Conclusion Arranged marriage has been a tradition that has been practiced widely in the ancient period. During these periods, people needed to keep inter-family ties and this could be strengthened through inter-marrying. In some cultures like India, even up to date, finding one a marriage spouse was the responsibility of the parent. The parent had thus to find the best match for her son or daughter considering some factors. However, this practice is unlawful in most parts of the world. Following human right laws enacted, a person has the right to find his or her marriage spouse. This is because arranged marriage is seen to be oppression to women. Works Cited Ahmad, Imtiaz. Family, Kinship and Marriage among Muslims in India. Manohar: Jawaharlal Nehru University Press, 1976. Print. Fox, Greer Litton. “Love Match and Arranged Marriage in a Modernizing Nation: Mate Selection in Ankara Turkey.” Journal of Marriage and the Family 37.1 (1975): 180–193. Print. Reaves, Jo. “Marriage in China Not So Different than in the West.” Asian Pages 4.18 (1994): 4. Print. Seymour, Susan C., and Susan Christine Seymour. Women, Family, and Child Care in India: A World in Transition. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1999. Print. Read More