The Advantages and Disadvantages of Being a Military Mother - Article Example

The Advantages and Disadvantages of Being a Military Mother Teacher               Outline I. The Advantages and Disadvantages of Being a Military Mother II. Thesis Statement: Despite the honor of fighting for their country, military mothers face a whole lot of disadvantages that would have to make them either become more steadfast in their military duties or return to a more peaceful life as a civilian mother. III. Advantages A. Receiving numerous soldier benefits from the government B. Showing the image of efficiency or being able to “multitask” IV. Disadvantages A. Absence in the home with a greater chance of losing court cases involving child custody B. Greater tendency to lose divorce cases C. Greater effort to gain the respect of her male colleagues D. Tendency not to forget the emotional trauma of war E. Limited freedom V. Conclusion VI. References The Advantages and Disadvantages of Being a Military Mother Which is worse – a male soldier urinating or a female soldier breastfeeding her two babies at the same time with her breasts fully exposed to her colleagues? Although everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, there is a good chance that most people would think that the latter scenario is worse. There is definitely nothing wrong with women breastfeeding nor with women becoming soldiers, but it is simply too uncomfortable to see these female soldiers breastfeeding. Military mothers, just like any ordinary soldier, have served their own countries well, with even around 30,000 of them in the U. S. Army sent to Iraq and Afghanistan (Scott, 2010). Nevertheless, despite the honor of fighting for their country, military mothers face a whole lot of disadvantages that would have to make them either become more steadfast in their military duties or return to a more peaceful life as a civilian mother. Basically, the advantages of being a military mother are simply the benefits that a soldier receives. Military mothers are not treated differently from male servicemen just because they are female. One of the advantages of being a military mother is that they can avail of the usual benefits conferred to all members of the military. This includes relocation assistance services, money management services, family advocacy services, legal assistance services, deployment services, and child and youth services. Just like any serviceman, a military mother avails of relocation assistance services like briefings on how to adapt to transfers. Money management services consist of programs for the education and counseling of soldiers including military mothers on how to handle their finances, how to eliminate debt and how to spend their money wisely, whether or not on active duty. Family advocacy services refer to parent support groups that hold abuse prevention classes and at the same time provide assistance to families of soldiers and military mothers as well as those families with special needs. Legal assistance services are those that offer walk-in services for soldiers and military mothers as well when they need advice on personal legal matters, filing of income tax, preparation of wills, contracts, correspondence and other legal documents. Deployment services refer to briefings on how to manage new household budgets while military mothers are away from their children, how to maintain communication with the family, and how to prepare wills in case death occurs while the military mother is on active duty. Lastly, child and youth services are all about child care programs for soldiers including military mothers. These programs include sports and fitness programs as well as trainings on leadership, arts and recreation, as well as mentoring and education of young children. School transition support and outreach programs are also provided to the children of all soldiers. Most of these services are available to soldiers and military mothers through the Army Morale, Welfare and Recreation program of the government, where recreation, sports, travel, leisure and entertainment activities are made available to all who serve their country in the military (“Benefits,” 2012). These benefits are available not only to military mothers but to all soldiers as well and so these benefits are not exclusive. However, if the military mother is a single mom, then she is definitely doing so much for her children by giving them a rather good future through the benefits that she could get as a soldier. Civilian mothers would not be able to do the same. As another advantage, military mothers can act as a role model to civilian mothers as the former are those that, according to military mother Terran Echegoyen-McCabe, have the ability to “multitask” (Sitt, 2012). Although this is only a matter of opinion given by Echegoyen-McCabe, one of the two military mothers who posed for a picture while breastfeeding at the Fairchild Air Force Base at Spokane, Washington, the idea that military mothers can indeed “multitask” somehow means that military mothers can do both warfighting and mothering at the same time. Moreover, the idea of “multitasking” may also translate as being flexible and being somehow different and more efficient than male soldiers, who definitely cannot fight the enemy and care about their children at the same time. Nevertheless, considering the idea that military mothers are not treated by superior military officers as anything special or different from male soldiers, there are not many advantages to being a military mother. One of the disadvantages of being a military mother is the bias against her absence as a parent because, according to Scott (2010), “The courts would look at a mother or father’s military service as detrimental to the well-being of the child.” This must serve as a heavier burden to the military mother as mothers are usually expected to be closer to their children and to be more physically present to them. Thus, military mothers are presumed to either lose more court battles pertaining to child custody, or to bear more “mommy guilt” (Scott, 2010). Just like any military parent, a military mother would usually have to make up for the lost time that they had with their children once they get to pay them a visit, but perhaps military mothers have to work harder as they usually, as mothers, bear the bulk of the burden of child-rearing and childcare. Another disadvantage of being a military mother is that “divorce affects military women at three times the rate of military men” (Scott, 2010). This means that aside from the issues directed against military mothers on being an inadequate parent, there is also the issue of them being problematic wives. This is expected to compound the legal challenges that face a military mother once she comes back home from war. Besides, such divorce as well as child custody issues would never be of any help to her when she is on active duty, whether on the battlefield or not, as problems would always have emotional consequences. A third disadvantage that military mothers are facing is the idea that they have to make an extra effort to be respected by their male colleagues. Whereas male soldiers would not really have to prove anything in order to gain respect, military women, who include the military mothers, have to “[fight] long and hard to be accepted and respected as fellow soldiers” (Boyle, 2012). This is the reason why some female servicemen who posed for a camera while breastfeeding their babies were criticized not only by ordinary citizens but also by their fellow female soldiers for somehow creating a weak image of the military mom in service. In fact, one unidentified female captain of the Marine Corps said, “We are warfighting professionals [and so] when I am asking [my subordinates] to fly into combat with me and do a dangerous mission, I do not want them to have the mental image of a babe at my breast” (Sitt, 2012). This somehow implies that military women and military mothers have to do a little bit more effort before they can gain the respect of their comrades, especially the male servicemen. Another disadvantage of being a military mother is the emotional trauma that may change her during the war and the same trauma that she may bring to her home after the war. The case of a sergeant mother who came home only to show her sister and her children the same aggression she must have probably showed during the war: “She was about to flip [her sister] to the ground, using a hold she had learned in training, when she noticed her children and nieces staring in shock” (Benedict, 2010). Although one cannot really assume that men could better cope with emotional stress during the war or not, this is a heavier burden to the military mother. A mother is supposed to be a symbol of compassion and a teacher of love and care, and simply because war has replaced such virtues with toughness, bravery and aggression, she may not be able to carry out her maternal roles in the way the society expects her to. The consequence to this surprising aggression is not ostracism from the society but fear in one’s children and perhaps consequent alienation. Such may then be excellent grounds for either divorce or loss of a child to one’s husband. Still, another disadvantage to being a military mother is that their freedom is limited. For example, the two military mothers who posed for a photo shoot at Fairchild Air Force Base in Washington while breastfeeding their babies were severely criticized for what they had done, and their breastfeeding act – which was supposed to be a natural thing – was even labeled as “defecating and urinating” while in uniform (Boyle, 2012). This means that somehow, males in the military have a greater freedom to do what they want since the military is dominated by males and the nature of the job is basically not for women. The military mothers, therefore, have to battle not only problems on the battlefield or at home but also in their own barracks as long as they are soldiers. Military mothers must therefore accept the cold hard fact that she cannot freely do whatever she wants as a woman while she is a soldier. Although this may seem unfair, it is basically just the way things are for men and women in society. Being a military mother has its share of advantages but it is more of a disadvantage. One of the advantages of being a military mother is the fact that their children and families may receive the same benefits that a normal soldier would have. This may even be practically useful for single mother soldiers who might not be able to support their kids if they were civilian mothers. Another advantage of being a military mother is the image of being able to “multitask” or project an image of flexibility or efficiency. However, the disadvantages are numerous – her absence in the home as a parent, her being prone to divorce suits, her having to make an extra effort to gain the respect of her male colleagues, her getting used to the aggression in the battlefield, and her own limited freedom as a woman and mother in her soldiers’ quarters. Although one may contend that the entire military is slowly transforming and becoming more and more accommodating to women, society may prove to be different. No matter how much acceptance a military mother may receive from her male colleagues in the military, there is no guarantee that society would treat her all the same. The court, her husband, her children and everyone else outside the military quarters simply cannot look at her as a soldier, and so she either has to accept this, bear with its consequences and continue serving her country a good soldier, or she can leave the army and simply be a good mother to her children and a good wife to her husband. Life is not all about balance but sometimes it is about making a choice and making some sacrifices. References Benedict, H. (2010). “Mothers in the Military: Reconciling Being a Mother with Being a Soldier.” Retrieved Aug. 4, 2012 from PBS: http://www.pbs.org/pov/regardingwar/conversations/women-and-war/mothers-in-the-military-reconciling-being-a-mother-with-being-a-soldier.php “Benefits.” (2012). Retrieved Aug. 4, 2012 from Go Army: http://www.goarmy.com/benefits/soldier-and-family-services.html Boyle, L. (2012). “Mothers at war: Proud military wife defends photograph of her comrades breastfeeding in uniform.” Retrieved Aug. 4, 2012 from Dailymail.co.uk: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2152420/Military-mothers-breastfeeding-uniform-raise-awareness-cause-Facebook-debate.html Scott, J. (2012). “Mothers in the Military: Punishing Mothers Who Serve.” Retrieved Aug. 4, 2012 from PBS: http://www.pbs.org/pov/regardingwar/conversations/women-and-war/mothers-in-the-military-punishing-mothers-who-serve.php Sitt, P. (2012). “Military mom ‘proud’ of breastfeeding in uniform, despite criticism.” Retrieved Aug. 4, 2012 from the MSN: http://moms.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/05/30/11955844-military-mom-proud-of-breastfeeding-in-uniform-despite-criticism?lite Read More