Living Together Before Marriage as a Controversial Topic - Research Paper Example

 Living together before marriage is a controversial topic. Some people have expressed strong support for the traditional observance of complying with the sanctity of marriage and should therefore stress the relevance of living separate ways prior to making matrimonial vows. On the contrary, young people from contemporary generation have believed in an arrangement promoting a trial marriage by living together to test the waters and determine compatibility issues. Pre-marital arrangements have drastically changed since the last generation. It is one’s contention that couples should live together before marriage to confirm and validate relationship issues. Couples opt to decide on living together for diverse reasons such as trying to validate compatibility, consideration for economic, practical and financial issues, diverse beliefs in the institution of marriage, dislike for commitment and the fear for consequences of divorce. By living together, these couples satisfy their personal beliefs and contentions for convenience and companionship without sacrificing an acknowledged vow that legally binds them through marriage. Young couples believe that the option to live together prior to marriage is a right that they could express to achieve their goals. On the other hand, those who support marriage refute that couples who spent time living together run the risk of falling out of love eventually and not being able to sort out differences in their relationships. Couples eventually develop psychological problems that lead to depression and anxiety due to the possibility that they are really not meant to be together in the long term. The lack of commitment accorded by cohabitation without the institution of marriage could be perceived as lack of solid foundation and structure to build a family and a future together. Despite the arguments, living together before marriage has more benefits in the long run. The cost of divorce, in terms of financial, emotional and psychological effects is minimized. An understanding that living together is the arrangement to determine if couples are really right for each other could appropriately be tested, as needed. As proffered by Johnson, “a wedding will not change your relationship. If you and your partner have difficulties living together, a marriage license will not improve things. In such a case it may be better to end the relationship, rather than to enter into a marriage that is troubled from the start” (par. 7). The people who strongly oppose couples living together prior to marriage stress the significance of adhering to traditional beliefs in the sacrament of marriage. Previous generation have always supported the need for marriage before their children could live with a person not yet considered one’s spouse. The belief marriage is more than a mutual agreement, but more so, a sacrament blessed by Divine Power, is prevalent in major religions. Those couples who decide to get married have their unions blessed and are therefore believed to endure challenges and trials ‘until death do them part’. In contrary, supporters of those who believe that living together is an agreement that is more beneficial indicates that disagreement from various sectors are not fully justified. Although majority of people believe that living together is in fact going against the norm by asserting that “cohabitors are partially rejecting the society's dominant value system. Those people who enter cohabitational relationships tend to perceive social rules in flexible terms” (Cohabitation, par. 11). A glimpse on the research on contemporary generation has proven that “young couples are most accepting of cohabitation, and it is likely that it will become increasingly popular over time” (Barlow, Duncan, James, and Park, 1). In this regard, there are lesser social pressures or stigma associated with couples who opt to live together prior to marriage. Living together before marriage gives more benefits as long as the couples are physically, emotionally, economically mature to acknowledge the responsibilities and accountabilities that go with the agreement. As averred by spouses Sheri and Bob Stritof , “whether or not cohabitation is a good choice depends on where you live, if you have premarital education, and if you marry the first and only person you live with” (par. 2). There are conditions and factors that need to be established and considered by couples before delving into any long term relationship. Living together before marriage gives couples the advantage of eliminating the intricacies of divorce with clear and defined guidelines. The contention of people who support marriage and refute any benefits of cohabitation saying that the risk of separation and divorce is higher for couples who opted to cohabitate, the news article written and reported by Connelly clearly proved that, “living together before marriage doesn't necessarily increase the risk of divorce, but those who get engaged or married before cohabiting have a slight edge, according to a just-released national study” (par. 1). The agreement itself does not cause an increase in supposed divorce any time in the near future. There are critical factors that are similarly prevalent in couples who did not live together, but opted to get married, and still somehow separated and got divorced. These factors include immaturity in various aspects (mental, emotional, and physical) and the inability of couples to appropriately address challenges and problems that eventually came their way. One can actually think of legal aspects that could be considered as more strengthening in favor the preventing couples to cohabitate. The terms of the legal contract the bind and make the agreement more secure for both parties. This refutation could be addressed by promoters of living together by indicating that the legal perspective of cohabitation could recommend “a written cohabitation agreement, similar to a Premarital Agreement…should outline how the couple will divide expenses and own property, whether they will maintain joint or separate bank accounts, and how their assets will be distributed if one partner dies or leaves the relationship” (Cohabitation, par. 5). Living together before marriage is a controversial topic. It is one’s contention that couples should live together before marriage to confirm and validate relationship issues. By entering the agreement with a mature frame of mind, couples who opt to live together prior to marriage get to avail of rewarding benefits that overcast the disadvantages precluding their decision. Works Cited Barlow, Anne, Duncan, Simon, James, Grace and Park, Alison. Family Affairs: Cohabitation, Marriage and the Law. N.d. Web. 03 April 2011. Cohabitation – Trends and Patterns. 2011. Web. 03 April 2011. < http://family.jrank.org/pages/274/Cohabitation-Trends-Patterns.html> Connelly, Sherryl. Living together before marriage doesn't significantly raise likelihood of divorce: study. 03 March 2010. Web. 03 April 2011. < http://articles.nydailynews.com/2010-03-03/entertainment/27057883_1_cohabiting-couples-marriage> Johnson, Monika. The benefits of living together before marriage. 29 March 2011. Web. 03 April 2011. < http://www.helium.com/items/2125940-the-benefits-of-living-together-before-marriage> Stritof, Sheri and Stritof, Bob. Living Together: Is Cohabitation a Good Choice? 2011. Web. 03 April 2011. < http://marriage.about.com/cs/cohabitation/a/livingtogether.htm> Read More