Why Tiger Parenting Leads To Success in Life - Research Paper Example

Why Tiger Parenting Leads To Success in Life Tiger parenting simply involves instilling the highest standard of discipline in one’s children, majorly by setting high goals for them to achieve, and to some extent, regulating or completely denying the children some luxurious services such as watching television programs. Not so many studies on this mode of parenting have been carried out, but the few existing publications show high correlation between this mode of parenting and success of the individuals. However, the question of whether this type of parenting is ideal in the modern world has always been a subject for discussion among many families in the US, with Jewish, Indian and Asian origin families being highly pro the subject, and have great positive results to show. On the contrary, most whites are of the opinion that it entails imposing so much on the child, a case that may lead to the child being of low self-esteem. To begin with, Amy Chua (3) notes that the secret to raising successful, yet stereotypic children, notably in America, where research show that such children tend to be more successful compared to these raised in the formal manner, typical of most Western families, is to curtail some of their freedom. This, she says, is achievable by e.g. forbidding them from attending sleepovers, not allowing them to watch TV or play video games, setting high-performance grades that are nothing less than an A, not allowing them to go to play dates, not allowing them to choose extracurricular activities to engage in, among others. Furthermore, Amy says that her ability to raise successful musicians involved barring them from being the top students in all subjects except gym and drama, and allowing them to only play the piano and violin, but only at set times. These, she alludes, are the traits of parents whom she loosely refers to as Chinese mums, and which when duly instilled on children, return nothing less than a successful child in any field of expertise. Furthermore, Amy notes that unlike Western parents who tend to allocate more time to games, the Chinese mum on the other hand puts academic first, and believes that the only grade worth attaining by the child is an A grade, and nothing less. This type of parenting may be viewed as being authoritative, and is quite prominent among Asian American parents. This leaves as asking why this seemingly authoritative parenting leads to good performance in academic work among Asian American kids, and fails terribly when applied to Western kids. The explanation to this is simple, authoritative parents, according to Marsiglia et al. (2007) not only set the limits to be achieved in class work but also helps their children in in learning. They often provide them with the necessary support when the tasks are difficult, and back away when they are relatively simple, creating a balance that help them grow to be independent. Amy demonstrates this by concurring that the Chinese mom ensures that her child is always a step or two ahead of her peers, a fete only possible through teaching the child new ideas not yet covered in school and helping with assignments. Could there be a relationship between tiger parenting and upward mobility? In this context, upward mobility simply refers to a shift in class status from a lower one to a relatively higher one. A study by Rubenfeld and Amy found that currently, Indian Americans have the highest annual income earnings compared to any group, followed by Chinese, Iranian and Lebanese Americans. The study further notes that original Jewish personalities continue to win Nobel Prizes on American soil. This in itself is an indicator that these groups far much outperform the Western groups in the education field. What exactly do these groups have in common, and what makes them be better performers in academics overall? Well, the secret lies in the manner in which children from such families are brought up. These families tend to raise their children in a strict manner, giving them the freedom of only what they deem necessary, while inculcating in them the need to excel in their academics (Seth & Ghormonde, 3). These families tend to make their children aware of the fact that education is one resource that can never be taken away from them, and thus they ought to strive to excel in it more than anyone else does. In line with this education culture of achieving nothing short of excellence, Chua observes that it involves instilling in the child the idea that regardless of the fact that they are in America, they are individuals of foreign origin. This identity comes with precaution that in the event that their material possessions are dispossessed of them, what they will remain with is their education: knowledge that they can make use of in any part of the world. Even though Kolbert does not concur with Amy Chua’s ideology on parenting, one thing she notes as well is that America is being out-educated. Could this be a pointer that the richest country in the world is unable to educate its children, or is there a trick that other communities such as the Asian Americans and Indian Americans use that is still unknown to the Western families? Park observes that what makes Chinese Americans excel in their academic work is their ability to translate into success the available social support systems. She further notes that these families have community setups that enhance the value of education. This therefore implies that academic success in this community is attributable to their culture as opposed to race, and that Asian Americans are likely to accredit their success in the academic realm to hard work, and not anything like an innate ability that is not present in other communities. To them, success in academics is meritocratic- the more the amount of input, the more the outcome one gets. In light with Chua’s argument, the fact that she committed her daughters to many hours of practice on the piano and the violin is a case example of massive input that yielded great results, and the same applies with class work. We note that Chua went ahead and taught her daughters some mathematical manipulations that were way ahead of their syllabus coverage at school, which gave them a purpose to work even harder and achieve excellent grades. The general perception of tiger mom parenting among Western families is that the mode is at best a form of enslavement. This type of argument comes from parents who brand this mode of parenting as being a product of the hypercompetitive world of professional childrearing. However, the results do not really agree with this point of view. For instance, the character of Chua’s elder daughter is not only pleasant, but points to a formidable young woman. Regardless of how rough, and probably unbearable, her journey to becoming a good pianist was, she was intelligent enough to realize that learning how to play it was an option she had no alternative to. Furthermore, her success in academics is proof that the high standards set for her by the mother were tenable. She once made it clear in a New York post that trying to provide an exclusive explanation about her mom to Westerners was ‘a stand-alone extracurricular activity to the kids,’ an indication of how good the mode of parenting accorded to her had been. Tiger parenting as we have seen encompasses the inclusion of both positive and negative parenting traits. The tiger parents therefore employ positive parenting procedures, and in addition to this, they include a great chunk of negative parenting strategies, an aspect that is completely lacking in the corresponding supportive parents. This simultaneous application of both positive and negative parenting strategies help raise an individual who can psychologically handle a myriad of life challenges, and have the persistence to learn and excel in anything they do. The study by Rubenfeld and Chua established that in adulthood, children brought up with tiger parenting are less likely to commit suicide, and usually have a positive attitude towards all aspects of life. On the contrary, children brought up the western way tend to fall prey to suicide and drug abuse, even though they are the ones who show healthy personality traits with high esteem. Another life aspect that tiger parenting seems to foster is the locus of control. Generally, locus of control entail the perception an individual has about his/her behavior, and that of other people. In the learning perspective, one individual could be of the belief that her success is as a result of hard work, while another could have the belief that hers is determined by fate. What tiger parenting does to an individual is that it makes one have belief in self, and that they are in complete control of their lives. Such individuals believe that it is upon them to determine what will come of their future, and hence are usually hard workers. As Marsiglia et al. established, individuals with internal locus of control are usually exposed to interventions that enable them to see the world as a platform in which they can achieve anything they set their minds to, a case typical of tiger parented children. Locus of control is one of the key factors that have led to the upward mobility of Mormons. From a time when they were the minority group with virtually no senior positions in the business and political sectors in the early years of the previous century, to a point where most of the CEO’s of reputable companies are Mormons, we can attribute this achievement to nothing but their willingness to take on the world. It has been noted that their parenting technique, though not purely tiger type, subjects the children to self-awareness and commits them to hard work. They are fully able to identify their locus of control, and have used this to climb the ladder of success. The inclusion of both positive and negative parenting approaches has once more shown how good the approach is, traits that are typical of tiger parenting as well. One thing the critics of tiger parenting must be aware of is that when Amy Chua says that she did not accept anything less than an A grade, this was merely a gimmick to meant to show the standards. However, her tiger parenting mode aims at making the parents have belief in their children, and should strive to help them realize their full potential. However, this cannot be achieved by taking the side of the child when he/she has done something wrong at school, and therefore should be punished. Confronting the teacher in front of the child only serves to give the child an impression that she can do anything and get away with it, in the presence of external protection offered by the parent. Such a behavior can actually make the child exhibit external locus of control, a fete that only serves to make them have the perception that their behavior is determined by fate, and thus they have nothing to do about it, a precursor to stagnated mobility, or worse still, a downward spiral, exactly what is happening to Western families. In order to be more effective, the tiger method of parenting incorporates subtle conventional parenting methods as well. For instance, the fact that you should not congratulate your child in public does not mean that you should fail to do so at all. Use effective praising to lift the child’s morale, as this helps them grow emotionally. Remember constant admonition may make your child to be an introvert, and it is a fact most parents do not like raising introverts, so make good use of conditional praises. Secondly, parents should always act as role models to their children. You should not force them to the piano while you are unable to provide even the basic demonstration yourself. Children learn a lot through observation, therefore set a good example as a parent. Finally, tiger parenting present negative consequences that aims at discouraging bad behavior. Tiger moms do not give room for negative behaviors, and are typically harsh, just like Amy Chua. This is also typical of Western families, though in this case, the parents executes the punishment sparingly, and in most cases is often accompanied by apologies from the parent and even ‘bribery’ of the affected child with presents, hence the difference. The benefits of tiger parenting are immense, and therefore it is advisable that Western families adopt the same in order to reverse the current trend of downward spiral in terms of education success. The only way to correct disparity in income levels between American Asians, American Jews, American Iranians, among others, and the Western families, is through adoption of appropriate parenting approach that will inculcate the sense of responsibility and hard work among the Western children. Children from Western families grow up under the shade of the wealth of their parents, for well to do families that is, and hence do not put much effort in their academic work, as compared to their corresponding peers from the said groups, hence their lack of competitive advantage. The current competitive world only favors the bold, whose creation, as tiger mothers would confirm, relies on adoption and effective employment of tiger parenting techniques. Works Cited Chua, Amy. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. New York. Bloomsbury. 2012. Print. Kolbert, Elizabeth. America’s Top Parent. The New Yorker. Retrieved from http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2011/01/31/americas-top-parent Marsiglia, Cheril S., Jeffrey, Walczyk J., Walter, Buboltz C., & Diana, Griffith-Ross A. Impact of Parenting Styles and Locus of Control on Emerging Adults Psychosocial Success. Journal of Education and Human Development. 2007. 1. Park, Alice. The tiger mom effect is real, says large study. Time Magazine. 2014. Retrieved from http://time.com/88125/the-tiger-mom-effect-is-real-says-large-study/ Rubenfeld, Jed & Chua, Amy. The Triple Package: How Three Unlikely Traits Explain the Rise and Fall of Cultural Groups in America. New York. Penguin. 2014. Print Seth, Milka & Ghormonde, Kala. The Impact of Authoritative Parenting Style on Educational Performance of Learners at High School Level. International Research Journal of Social Sciences. 2013. 2 (10). Print. Read More