Gay Marriage - Research Paper Example

Gay Marriages Introduction In the present day and age marriage is no longer considered to be “the union between a man and a woman who make a permanent and exclusive commitment to each other of the type that is naturally (inherently) fulfilled by bearing and rearing children together” instead it is the “union of two people (whether of the same sex or of opposite sexes) who commit to romantically loving and caring for each other and to sharing the burdens and benefits of domestic life” (Girgis et al 246). On the basis of this definition, the marriage between same sex couples should be treated as equal and should be granted all the rights that come with marriage. In some countries same sex marriages have been accepted albeit with reluctance and under the pressure of human rights activists. Even in advanced countries like the United States of America same sex marriages face strong opposition from religious groups and from the people in general who still find homosexuality repelling and against nature” They still believe in “God made Adam and Eve and not Adam and Steve” and therefore when the government allowed same sex marriages, they vehemently opposed it arguing that if love was the foundation of marriage, the government should also legalize polygamy, bestiality and incest. Same sex marriages are more common in advanced countries with rich economies and where religion is not the mainstay in people’s lives but even in these countries where societies are considered to be more liberal and broadminded, same sex couples face many barriers which includes denial of same marriage laws as heterosexual couples. Same sex marriages are recognized only in seventeen states and the District of Columbia. Massachusetts (2004), Connecticut (2008) and Iowa (2009) are the first three states that allowed same-sex marriage because of a court decision (ncsl.org, ‘States that Allow Same-Sex Marriage’). Other states and the District of Columbia legalized same sex marriages through legislation while Maine is the only state that accepted same sex marriage through public initiative (ncsl.org, ‘States that Allow Same-Sex Marriage’). This paper introduces a new vision of the family that is emerging due to changing society. Though the society is changing but this change is opposed by many people including religious leaders. Not everyone agrees to this change brought about in the society by allowing gay marriages. But no matter how strongly people oppose gay marriages, gay people stand up for their rights saying that they are humans and it is their basic right to live their lives as they want. Keeping in view all the arguments and developing on those arguments throughout the paper, the paper concludes by suggesting three options declared as road maps for allowing or not allowing gay marriages. Everybody is Equal Everybody is equal in the eyes of God and in the eyes of law; it is man who has created discrimination. The opponents of same sex marriages use their personal interpretation of the Bible to condemn homosexuality. Homosexuality is not something you adopt, it is biological. If God was against homosexuality than why did He create such people? Same sex marriage is a right; just as heterosexual couples have the right to celebrate their union so do gay and lesbian people. People opposed interracial marriages too in the beginning but now interracial marriages are frequent. Man is becoming progressive and the institution of marriage is being revisited; it is no longer a union between a man and a woman it is about two people who love each other and want to spend their lives with each other. Those who drag religion into it surely realize that abortion and the use of contraceptives are also against Christianity but no one seems to raise these issues much whereas same sex marriage is condemned a lot. A person has the right to practice his religion but should not expect others to follow his beliefs. Religious groups can deny same sex marriages in their churches or parish but they cannot deny civil marriages. Legalizing same sex marriages and giving them support by extending marriage benefits and laws does not harm straight marriages nor does it encroach upon their rights so why this vehement opposition to a bond between two same sex people who love each other. Same sex marriage does not threaten the institution of marriage; if the real definition of marriage is the union between a man and a woman to procreate than why several heterosexual couples are choosing careers ahead of having children. Opposing View Same sex marriage is a lie; a deception man has coined to satisfy his/her gratifications. Real marriage is between a man and a woman as described by God and stated in the Holy Book. No human right activist, politician or judge has the right to redefine it. A real marriage is the union of a man and a woman for the procreation and rearing of children and for the wellbeing of the spouse. Same sex marriage promotes a union between two men or two women which is entirely different and in denial of the purpose of marriage which is the perpetuation of human race. The proponents of same sex marriage compare it to interracial marriages and claim that these marriages were initially resisted but ultimately accepted; however they chose to ignore the glaring fact that an interracial marriage was between a man and a woman, it denied the culture of that time (Luther 18) it did not deny the meaning and purpose of marriage. Same sex marriage can also be not compared to civil rights movement because according to “the Civil Rights Act of 1964 include protected classes with (1) a history of longstanding, widespread discrimination, (2) economic disadvantage, and (3) immutable characteristics...; nowhere in the description of civil rights is the word sexual orientation mentioned. Same sex marriage is a moral wrong that cannot be turned into a civil right. Use of contraceptives and abortion is also strongly opposed and Christian hospitals do not practice or encourage the practice of both. By accepting same sex marriage and allowing them equal privileges will only encourage other malpractices and social ills in the society as acceptance to polygamy. God indeed created homosexuals but dislikes sodomy; those who read the Bible surely know how Sodom and Gomorrah was punished for its homosexual acts “The Lord rained down sulphurous fire upon Sodom and Gomorrah. He overthrew those cities and the whole Plain, together with the inhabitants of the cities and the produce of the soil” (Gen. 19:24-25). Homosexuality was and remains an immoral and unnatural sin. It Is Unconstitutional To Oppose It Like other normal people, many same sex people want to form long-lasting and stable relationships. The study conducted by the Henry J Kaiser Family Foundation in 2001 shows that many same sex people have been in a committed relationship for more than ten years. Scientific studies have shown strong similarities in social and psychological aspects of committed relationships between heterosexual couples and same-sex couples. Same sex couples also develop commitments and deep emotional attachments and face same issues regarding love, intimacy, stability and loyalty; they also address these issues the same way heterosexual couples do. Research also revealed that the relationship satisfaction level of same sex couples was equal to that of heterosexual couples. In short same sex couples are in many ways similar to heterosexual couples; the only factor that differentiates a same sex couple from a heterosexual couple is procreation (hrc.org). As of June 2013 the US Supreme Court has declared Section 3 of DOMA unconstitutional and has directed the federal government to recognize same sex marriages and extend all the benefits, laws and programs it offers to heterosexual married couples to same sex couples as well. This means that now marriage laws are equally applicable to same sex couples and they are also entitled to benefits and programs such as social security benefits that allowed a considerable financial support through social security programs, lump sum death benefit which entitles the spouse to receive $255 from federal government as assistance for funeral arrangements, spousal retirement benefit and spousal survivor benefit (ncsl.org, Defining Marriage).Other marriage laws now applicable to same-sex couples are filing Joint Income Tax returns with the IRS and forming Family Partnership. Same sex couples are also eligible to marriage laws pertaining to estate tax and estate planning benefits such as Estate Tax Portability, Estate and Gift Tax Exemption and Life Estate Trusts (Frizell). veteran and military benefits available to spouses of deceased veterans including health care, educational assistance, death pensions, vocational training, home loan guarantee and bereavement counseling are now also extended to same sex couples .They can receive benefits availed by spouses of living military personnel as well (ncsl.org, Defining Marriage). In a democratic nation, everyone is considered equal therefore discriminating against same sex couples by denying them similar marriage laws is against the essence of democracy which proclaims that everyone has the right to life, self-determination and freedom. Denying similar marriage laws to same sex couples is akin to denying them the right freedom, self-determination and family life that every other citizen enjoys. It is wrong to deny marriage laws to same sex couples because in a true democratic government, there is no place for separate institutions for a particular group of people (Nussbaum). Opposition The opponents of same sex marriage claim that the US Supreme Court has made a big mistake in extending marriage laws to same sex couples as well. The opponents fear that the institution of marriage is already threatened with the divorce rate rising every year and with the number of unwed mothers rising. Allowing same sex marriages and extending benefits towards them will further destroy the fabric of traditional marriages. Same sex marriages are more about personal gratification and little about the values that define marriage such as having children. A man and a woman together create balance in life; men and women have their unique needs, demands, desires and perspectives; men and women complete each other and by uniting men and women; a balance in family and in society is created; same sex marriages take that balance away. There are many countries in the Western world such as Italy where same sex marriages are not allowed and gay and lesbian couples face open discrimination. As a true democratic and tolerant society, Americans believe in live and let live policy but that does not mean that same sex marriages should be federally recognized and supported with benefit programs and laws as this would encourage the homosexual culture. Parenting By providing marriage laws to same sex parents it would be easier or them to adopt children and their children will entitled to the same benefits and programs which children in heterosexual families enjoy. Same sex couples are often discriminated on the basis that they cannot procreate as having children brings the couple closer and strengthens the relationship. However this argument is weak when one considers the high divorce rate among heterosexual couples; 2.4 million divorces take place in 2012 alone (Matthews). Also all heterosexual couples cannot have children because of any reason and therefore have to adopt children. Similarly same sex couples also adopt children and can provide a stable home to many who would otherwise have to live in foster care. By adopting children same sex parents offer them comfort and security which is the right of every child and by allowing same sex marriages the state gives financial and legal protection which is the right of every citizen. According to Dempsey (3) children raised in same sex households especially by lesbian mothers are more committed, loving and displayed a more open minded attitude towards gender and family diversity. Same sex couples also used reasoning techniques more often with children while heterosexual couples used corporal punishment more often (Dempsey 6). Children raised by same sex couples showed more warmth and interaction with their parents as compared to children raised by heterosexual couples (Dempsey 10). Same sex parents rarely become parents by accident and they only decide to have children (adopt) when they are good and ready to take on this huge responsibility. Just because they do not get pregnant and cannot breast feed does not make them lesser parents; what about those heterosexual couples who go for surrogate mothers because for some reason they cannot conceive. Opposing View Adoption of children by same sex couples however faces opposition because of a strong belief that a child needs both a father and a mother for a balanced life. For better physical and psychological health, a child needs both mother and father. It is selfish for same sex couples to ask for adoptions as they are looking after their own needs and not of the child’s. Lesbian women and gay men who choose to have children through surrogates are even worse as they pay men (for sperms) and women (for wombs) to have children and then pay them to disappear. This is blatant child trading as children are not property that can be bought; children are procreated not manufactured. Studies that claim that same sex couples do a good job of raising children and that gay and lesbian couples make as good parents as the heterosexual couples should be considered void because an authentic research involves large number of samples and years of observations whereas the adoption of children by same sex couples is a relatively new and rare phenomenon. The same research stated that girls raised without fathers showed more signs of “early sexual activity and teenage pregnancy” while children who grew up without mothers were emotionally insecure. Children raised in homosexual households experience greater sexual confusion, engage in homosexual behavior and practice sexual experimentation (Tasker and Golombok 213). Study conducted by Regnerus (752) brought to light some really nasty and shocking facts such as child abuse; children of lesbian mothers are ten times more likely to be touched in a sexual way by a parent or a caregiver. This kind of incident was three times more likely to occur in case of gay fathers. Regnus’s study also showed that children of same sex marriage were four (in case of lesbian mothers) to seven (in case of gay fathers) times more likely to have same sex partners than children with heterosexual parents. In her comparison research conducted on children raised by same sex parents Dempsey (13) observed that children from same sex households were more likely to be teased, bullied and harassed at schools because of their parentage and therefore they (children) become selective in disclosing who their parents are. Conclusion Same sex marriage has been a topic of debate for many years between people who support it and those who oppose it. Now that it has been declared legal in seventeen states and the District of Columbia and has scored a major victory by claiming federal benefits and privileges that come with marriage, people are now arguing over whether it is correct to make marriage laws available to them. Those in favor state that everybody has the right to marry the person of his/her choice and that gay and lesbians should also be given that right. By allowing access to marriage laws, the government will gain economic benefits and the couples will be able to look after the children they have adopted better. Same sex marriage does not devalue the institution of marriage as it does not affect straight marriages; making them eligible for marriage laws and benefits will not be an encroachment on the rights of heterosexual couples. Those against it claim that marriage is a privilege not a right and that as members of a liberal society, people can show tolerance to certain sexual arrangements such as civil unions and domestic partnership and allow certain benefits but should not give all rights to same sex marriages. By giving access to benefits the federal government will become burdened by pensions, insurances claims, health care etc. Marriage is a union of a man and a woman for the purpose of procreating and rearing children. In same sex marriage children are not produced only personal gratification is achieved. By treating same sex marriages equally will cause a deviation from the traditional marriages and people will look for gratification only. Same sex marriages do not end infidelity or divorce but give rise to other vices such as pedophilia. Same sex marriages can never be equal to heterosexual marriages because they are against nature. Nature formed a union between man and woman and the result was a child. This is a natural process which is responsible for the cycle of life. By accepting same sex marriages and giving it equal privileges will only encourage more sexual experimentation among people. Marriage laws are for husbands and wives and should remain so. Works Cited Dempsey, Deborah. Same -sex parented families in Australia. CFCA PAPER NO. 18 2013. Australian Institute of Family Studies. Web.19 March. 2014. Girgis,Sherif, Robert P. George, and Ryan T. Anderson.What is Marriage?  Harvard Journal of Law and Public Policy 34 (2010): 245-287. Frizell, Sam. “Holder: Same-Sex Couples To Get Equal Legal Right.” time.com. 8 Feb. 2014. Web.19 March. 2014. hrc.org. “An Overview of Federal Rights and Protections Granted to Married Couples.”Human Rights Campaign.n.d. Web. 19 March. 2014. Luther, Catherine A., and Jodi L. Rightler-McDaniels. More Trouble than the Good Lord Ever Intended”: Representations of Interracial Marriage in U.S. News-Oriented Magazines. Journal of Magazine & New Media Research 14.1 (2013): 1-30. Matthews, Steve. “Worsening U.S. Divorce Rate Points to Improving Economy.” Bloomberg.com. 18 Feb. 2014. Web.19 March. 2014. ncsl.org. “States that Allow Same-Sex Marriage.”National Conference of State Legislatures, 6 March. 2014. Web. 19 March. 2014. ncsl.org. “Defining Marriage: State Defense of Marriage Laws And Same-Sex Marriage.” National Conference of State Legislatures, 6 March. 2014. Web. 19 March. 2014. Nussbaum, Martha.A Right to Marry? Same-sex Marriage and Constitutional Law.2009. Web.19 March. 2014. Regnerus, Mark. How different are the adult children of parents who have same-sex relationships? Findings from the New Family Structures Study. Social Science Research 41.4 (2012): 752-770. Tasker, Fiona, and Susan Golombok. Adults Rose as Children in Lesbian Families.American Journal of Orthopsychiatric Association, 65.2 (1995): 213. Read More