The Impact Facebook Rituals Can have on a Romantic Relationship - Essay Example

Modern information technology and social networking have changed virtually every aspect of humaninteraction today in ways that were not even conceivable in retrospect. Social networking is an online community where individuals can exist on an online profile and can interact with and meet or make friends (Bowe 62). Communication in relationships used to be based on letters and phone calls, and face-to-face interaction was more common, one could only meet new people face to face or by introduction, say by a mutual friend. Over the last few years, the dynamics of relationships and interactions has paradigmatically changed since thanks to modern technology, one does not even have to leave their house or home to communicate or interact with someone. This social interaction has been enhanced and dominated by social networking sites, the leading ones being Facebook and twitter (Ayodele 2). People, especially the youth, have taken to social networks not only to communicate with their friends, but as make new ones. Many love relationships have also been formed and flourished online on these social networks; indeed, there are those who join Facebook with the sole intention of dating and finding love. While many of these relationships become successful, there are many more which end up in heartbreak and sometimes even tragically because even criminals and stalkers use the internet to lure their victims. Therefore, it is imperative that we consider several questions, such as if Facebook poses a threat to the security of already existing relationships. What motivates people to look for love in Facebook? Can Facebook be considered a realistic and practical way of starting and building relationships? This essay will focus on the last question; it shall discuss, argue and contest the appropriateness of Facebook as a facilitator for relationships by examining the issues that surround Facebook relationships. There are several issues that make Facebook a shaky setting for developing and growing relationships, one of this is the effect Facebook has on pre-existing relationships. Consider that two people are in a relationship and both happen to be friends on Facebook. One of them may join a group or make friends with a member of the opposite sex who might send suggestive messages or gifts to them. Bearing in mind that the line between innocent flirting and cheating might mean different things to different partners, a post on someone’s timeline may cause friction and result in the termination of a relationship (Ilana 878). In another situation, when couples that are friends on Facebook have a falling out or disagreement, one of them may update something about it on their page, and this can cause their partner to feel humiliated. Moreover, youths often use media and technology to promote sexual behavior through highly sexually suggestive messages and sometimes picture in what has been dubbed sexting (Pascoe 6). Facebook easily offers an avenue for this: when people are online, they are able to hide their shyness and will be bolder. This will encourage behavior such as flirting, which easily becomes serious and in some cases turns into full-blown sexting where people send each other suggestive or even nude pictures as well as explicit Messages. If people meet online, they are likely to engage in such activity because lack of direct contact emboldens them; unfortunately, this makes deceit a common future in Facebook relationships (Ayodele 8). In case such an association was to develop in to relationship, two people may move from being friends to being on sexting terms before they have even met in person. Therefore, should they meet, they are likely to engage in sexual activity without knowing much about each other ergo risking contacting sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV, AIDS, herpes and others. Facebook has been accused of spoiling relationships, especially long distance ones. This is because while Facebook offers an avenue for lovers to interact; it also in a way transcend the distance and is highly deficient of emotional and physical closeness which are key elements of an unadulterated relationship. Criminals, such as cyber stalkers, serial killers, rapists and child abusers can use relationships on Facebook. Unfortunately, this is just one of many cases when criminals, especially sexual offenders, hide behind the pictures of young and attractive models, and push real young girls and boys into falling in love with them, cultivating trust and confidence. An example of this is the case of Nona Belomesoff: a man, posing himself as fellow teenager, abused and murdered an Australian teenager whom he had lured over Facebook (Shear 2010). In case the victims fall for these tricks, they confide in the criminals, and their most intimate secrets as well as private information can be used to track them. Hence, children easily become victims of sexual offenders through relationships formed through Facebook; furthermore, one can form the relationship with underage teens who may have lied about their age during the registration to appear older. However, stalking is not limited to overt criminals, even friends may spend too much time following your post sand picture, and this can be considered stalking. Research by Singer Science and Business Media revealed that ex-intimates use Facebook to spy on their former spouses; this is not healthy and can be dangerous depending on how obsessional they are (Chaulk and Jones 250). People who spend too much time on Facebook tend to have poor social relationships; in fact, some come to prefer communicating through Facebook compared to face-to-face interaction. This may also translate in relationships where couples may be closer when they are apart since they prefer to communicate through Facebook and find it easier than face-to-face communication. In addition, Facebook addicts often end up spending too much time on their phone or laptop chatting or updating and reading their friends statuses. This can get to a point where when a couple is on a date, one of them keeps pausing to check their Facebook page, and this is likely to irritate the other person who might feel ignored. Conversely, those who hold the belief that Facebook is an excellent tool to form relationship are also likely to come up with arguments to support their views. A common one is that Facebook allows people who are normally too shy to meet new people in the real world a chance to interact without having to face up to the other person. In a way, this is a valid argument in view of the fact that many reclusive people do wish they could make new friends and look for love in a setting that does not involve face-to-face conversation. In order to be fair one must concede that quite a considerable number do get to overcome their shyness through Facebook and end up in happy relationships on and offline. However, the other side of the coin is that some of these people avoid making friends in person because they suffer from esteem issues, and others are ashamed of their appearances or circumstances. In order to combat this, they may lie about themselves and even post false or altered pictures in an effort to make themselves appear more appealing. However, eventually they are revealed, and the person on the other side may be offended and reject them - this causes pain and disappointment to both parties involved. Facebook trivializes relationships through some of its applications; there are apps, for instance the Breakup Notifier, that are designed to generate an email to interested parties whenever a friend changes their relationship status to single. They do not take into account that the breakup may only be temporary, and when someone is “declared single,” they may be immediately bombarded with attention, making it almost impossible to give the other relationship a second chance. Besides, the fact a user has posted “single” on their relationship status does not necessarily mean that they are in need of a relationship, and they may simply want to remain that way. In conclusion, it is clear that Facebook - despite being a tool for promoting social and romantic relationships - falls short in several respects. It does not offer the intimacy and emotional connection of regular relationships and may cause misunderstanding in an existing relationship, resulting in suspicion and mistrust. Besides, criminals and sociopaths can use Facebook relationships to identify and groom their victims for diabolical plans, such as sexual assault and at times murder. Ultimately, though Facebook makes an excellent tool for social interactions, it is not advisable as an avenue for running or even forming new romantic relationships. This is because before one can make the commitment long term romance requires, they need to have a closer interaction than the one Facebook offers. Works Cited Gershon, Ilana. "Un-Friend My Heart: Facebook, Promiscuity, and Heartbreak in a Neoliberal Age." Anthropological Quarterly 84.4 (2011): 865-94. Mod, Greg Bowe B. A. "Reading Romance: The Impact Facebook Rituals can have on a Romantic Relationship." Journal of Comparative Research in Anthropology and Sociology 1.2 (2010): 61-77. Paul, A. O. (2012). "Facebook love" on online social networking platforms: An analysis of the linguistic expression and portrayal of love in a selected nigerian hip-hop track. International Journal of Linguistics, 4(1), 1-15. Pascoe, C. J. "Resource and Risk: Youth Sexuality and New Media use." Sexuality Research & Social Policy 8.1 (2011): 5-17. ProQuest Research Library. Chaulk, K., & Jones, T. (2011). Online obsessive relational intrusion: Further concerns about facebook. Journal of Family Violence, 26(4), 245-254. Shears, Richard. “Australian girl, 18, lured to her death by bogus job offer from man she met on Facebook” The Dailymail.2012. Web. 16 November 2012. Read More