Marital Satisfaction between Homosexual and Heterosexual Couples - Research Paper Example

Marital satisfaction between homosexual and heterosexual couples: Introduction: Literature on the marital relationship of straight couples is significantly more than what is available for homosexual couples. Homosexual relationships have conventionally remained a social taboo. Therefore, much needs to be explored about such marital relationships in order to identify the underlying factors that cause homosexual relationships to exist, irrespective of the immense criticism offered by the society at large. There is a gap in literature apropos the psychological traits of same sex relationship. In order to address this issue, I am studying marital satisfaction between homosexual as well as heterosexual couples. This would be an attempt to fill the gap in the body of literature concerning the same sex couples. The results of my research will be useful in many ways. Particularly, they would serve to satisfy the doubts, curiosity and misconceptions people generally have with respect to the same sex marriages. In my research, I will involve the homosexual couples that have been united by the civil union. Because I want to know the differences (if any) between marital satisfaction of homosexual and straight couples, the relationship between both types of couples will be studied with respect to certain factors, common to both. Particularly, the aim of my research is to find whether the struggles homosexual married couples go through, the hardship they face and the criticism they are conventionally offered intensifies their love and affection or has a negative influence on their relationship. It is expected that the more their relationship is criticized, the stronger their relationship becomes. Literature review: Gay and lesbian couples are similar to straight couples in a number of ways. For example, the affinity, and hence the satisfaction level between partners in all sorts of couples gradually declines with the passage of time irrespective of the sexual orientation of individual partners. (Farr, Forssell, and Patterson, 2010, p. 200). The literature review about homosexual couples in 1991 suggested same satisfaction level in gay and lesbian couples as noticed in straight couples. (Whiteman, Diddel, and Hohengarten, 2005, p. 14). Review of existing body of literature suggests that many homosexual partners deal their relationship more wisely than heterosexual partners. Homosexuals tend to be more prudent in sustaining their marital relationship typically because they know, that it takes much less effort to break free of a homosexual bond than a heterosexual relationship. (Gottman and Levenson, 2003, p. 88). Homosexual relationship is intrinsically delicate, though the individuals’ commitment and strong sexual orientation makes it stronger. Hence, conflicts are reduced in number. The reduced susceptibility of homosexual couples to conflict can also be attributed to the deviation from the role expected of opposite genders in heterosexual couples in a conservative society. In a homosexual couple, partners to a couple perform different tasks and assume different responsibilities as per their individualistic capabilities, and not by their role in the relation. (Haas and Stafford, 2005, p. 47). The more conflicts arise in a relationship, the more susceptible it becomes to destruction. Accordingly, satisfaction level of the relationship declines. Research shows that the nature of causes and number of conflicts varies from couple to couple depending upon their sexual orientation. In a study conducted by Kurdek (1994), there was a marked difference between the areas of conflict among the gay, lesbian and straight married couples. In the research, it was found that in a vast majority of cases, conflicts among heterosexual couples pertained to “social issues”, while “personal distrust” was the dominating causal factor of conflict among both gay and lesbian couples. (Kurdek, 1994, p. 932). This is indeed, one of the biggest causes why heterosexual couples enjoy less satisfaction in their relationship as compared to homosexual couples because social issues are a matter of everyday occurrence whereas distrust only seldom reflects in an individual’s attitude or actions. Men and women have been noticed to have differing views about the role of sexual contentment in determining the satisfaction level of a marital relationship. Men consider sexual satisfaction a driving factor in maintaining a healthy relationship while women generally look at sex as part of married life, though not as important as to disrupt the whole relationship if nonexistent. (SSSS, 2007). However, contradicting evidence exists in the literature with respect to gay men. As (Lasala, 2001, p. 606) has noted, gay men distinguish between sexual and emotional attachment with their spouse. Kurdek (1991) and Yaffee (2003) cited in Dillion (2009, p. 13) reported that homogamy in terms of age, wage, education, sanctity of job and decision making plays a decisive role in improving the quality of relationship, and hence, upraising the satisfaction level in all types of couples, regardless of their homo- or heterosexuality. Discussion: Literature to explain the factors affecting the satisfaction level in a homosexual relationship is very limited. The immense criticism a homosexual couple is showered with conventionally because of the aberrant nature of sexual orientation of its partners often misleads at least on the scale of satisfaction level. This has led to the development of a lot of controversies in the public regarding the psychology of a homosexual relationship. An in-depth analysis of the association between homosexual partners as noticed in past researches suggests that homosexual couples, indeed, enjoy a high level of satisfaction and often exceed heterosexual couples when satisfaction level is chosen as a measure of comparison. Although there is evidence to propose that age plays a pronounced role in depicting the satisfaction level between individual partners in a couple irrespective of their sexual orientation, yet it can not be denied that satisfaction level between a couple is inversely proportional to the number and nature of conflicts between the partners. This holds true for both homosexual and heterosexual couples. Sustainability of marriage is a matter of commitment of the individual partners who enter the bond. Although the society assumes immense power to influence a marital relationship in a number of ways, yet the emotional attachment of the very partners is the ultimate factor that decides the future of a married couple. Society condemns homosexual relationship. Social condemnation of a heterosexual relationship is out of question. Paradoxically, heterosexual couples are affected the most by social issues while homosexual couples are mostly apathetic to social controversies. Gays and lesbians are protective of their unusual relationship and tend to be very prudent in sustaining it. Sexually straight couples deal the matters ordinarily as their relationship is normal. Individual partners in a straight couple have their duties assigned by the social, religious and cultural norms and values. Any deviation from those duties by any of the partners in a straight couple lays basis for argument and conflict. Hence, satisfaction level is altered by matters of daily life. On the other hand, partners to a homosexual relationship seek trust in each other. Homosexual partners have many reasons not to betray each other. First, it is much harder to find a partner for a homosexual relationship than for a heterosexual one. Second, homosexual marriages are hardly ever arranged. They form on the basis of sexual orientation of the individual partners, and sexual orientation of an individual is not altered by age. Thus, they tend to form stable relationships, and satisfaction level is usually higher. As Dillion (2009) noted that homogamy in terms of salary, nature of job and age between partners decreases the verisimilitude of conflicts irrespective of sexual orientation. It is, perhaps, the homogamy of gender that tends to keep the partners to a homosexual couple satisfied because they share similar interests, thoughts and concerns. Conclusion: A large number of investigations that have been conducted to date suggest that homosexual couples tend to have more stable and long-lasting relationships as compared to the heterosexual couples. The reasons provided by most of the researchers reaffirm the consensus. Among the variety of factors that strengthen the affinity between partners to a homosexual couple, the most dominant factors are the regulated distribution of responsibilities, social apathy and increasingly sensitive nature of relationship. In a homosexual relationship, lack of differences between opposite genders leads to a stronger relationship unlike heterosexual relationship, in which partners from opposite genders frequently complain of a partner’s deviation from his/her supposed role. Partners to a homosexual couple tend to support each other in all possible ways because they tend to suppress the immense pressure from external forces that is inclined towards destroying the bond between the homosexual partners. In their attempt to sustain their relationship, homosexual partners let go off petty matters that usually lay basis for divorce in heterosexual couples. To gays and lesbians, their relationship is the most important, unique and sacred. Also, homosexual partners tend to put a deaf ear to the social criticism and hence, social issues are least likely to affect their relationship. Also, increased sustainability in a homosexual relationship is not surprising because the partners solely choose to live with each other for personal reasons. Lack of conflicts and strength of emotional bond keeps the partners more satisfied in a homosexual couple as compared to a heterosexual one. References: Dillion, L. M. (2009). An Evolutionary Perspective of Relationship Satisfaction for Gay and Lesbian Couples. Retrieved from http://gradworks.umi.com/1470028.pdf. Farr, R. H., Forssell, S. L., and Patterson, C. J. (2010). Gay, Lesbian, and Heterosexual Adoptive Parents: Couple and Relationship Issues. Journal of GLBT Family Studies. 6:199–213. DOI: 10.1080/15504281003705436. Gottman, J. M., and Levenson, R. W. (2003). Observing Gay, Lesbian and Heterosexual Couples’ Relationships: Mathematical Modeling of Conflict Interaction. Journal of Homosexuality. 45(1): 65-91. Retrieved from http://www.amath.washington.edu/~swanson/JHomosexuality2003.pdf. Haas, S. M., and Stafford, L. (2005). Maintenance Behaviors in Same-Sex and Marital Relationships: A Matched Sample Comparison. The Journal of Family Communication. 5(1): 43–60. Retrieved from http://onlineacademics.org/CA104/private/FriendMarriageRelationships.pdf. Kurdek, L. A. (1994, Nov.). Areas of Conflict for Gay, Lesbian, and Heterosexual Couples: What Couples Argue about Influences Relationship Satisfaction. Journal of Marriage and the Family. 56(4): 923-934. Retrieved from http://www.ucm.es/info/rqtr/biblioteca/Estudios%20gltb/gltb%20couple%20satisfaction.pdf. Lasala, M. C. Monogamous or Not: Understanding and Counseling Gay Male Couples. Families in Society: The Journal of Contemporary Human Services. 82(6): 605-611. Retrieved from http://www.psychologytoday.com/files/attachments/45643/monogamy-practice-article-published.pdf. The Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality (2007). Sexual Satisfaction in Committed Relationships. Retrieved from http://www.sexscience.org/uploads/media/100399_SSSS_Relation_rev2_proof.pdf. Whiteman, M., Diddel, H. D., and Hohengarten, W. M. (2005). Brief of AMICI CURIAE American Psychological Association, National Association of Social Workers, National Association of Social Workers New York City Chapter, and National Association of Social Workers New York State Chapter in Support of Plaintiffs-Appellants. Retrieved from http://www.apa.org/about/offices/ogc/amicus/samuels.pdf. Read More