I recognized that I needed a mentor or role model that exemplified those characteristics, but I just didn't have the good fortune of finding one to which I could easily relate.
In my earlier years, I dropped out of high school then ultimately obtained a GED so that I could pursue my dream of going back to school and study to become a nurse. I started in a college program, but dropped out. I'm sure my feelings of inadequacy about not being smart enough to do well in school were attributable in part to not completing high school. Additionally, I had gained more responsibility and as a result, less time to work on my own goals and objectives. I had gotten married and had children to care for, so the responsibility of managing a family and home along with making a commitment to a significant academic goal was difficult to imagine. Initially my husband was who I counted on for support and motivation. He and my children were my life and I was happy until circumstances ultimately led to a divorce. The life change and trauma of that event further reinforced my thoughts of inadequacy and I struggled with my "failure" in dealing with life. Of course, that was a foolish thought since the experience ultimately demonstrated I had the strength to continue and to thrive regardless of his involvement, but that realization came much later.