The meaning of Human Sexuality - Essay Example

27 November 2006 Human Sexuality Introduction Human sexuality is a term that refers to all the sexual elements that characterize human existence. Sexuality is an integral part of life as we know it. It is manifested at the physical as well as psychological level and plays an important role in shaping behavior, beliefs and attitudes. Sexuality permeates every layer of society and consequently over the ages different cultures have sought to give it free expression or repress it firmly. From ancient India's Kamasutra, Freud's psychoanalysis in the Victorian age to the works of Margaret Mead, Alfred Kinsey, William Masters and Virginia Johnson in the 20th century, studies on sexuality have come a long way and have served to provide an understanding of human sexuality. The purpose of this essay is to explain how the concepts of "Belief versus Knowledge" and "Multiple Truths" are central to the understanding of cross gender communication. The differences between what is perceived as masculine and feminine styles of communication and the obstacles that exist and hinder proper communication processes between the sexes are discussed. In so doing the author proposes to highlight particular aspects of sexuality pertaining to gender and communication. "Belief versus Knowledge" and "Multiple Truths" Slater and Muir state that "A belief is a mental representation of a proposition about the world" (231). In simpler terms it can be said that a belief, as a result of underlying emotions or spiritual convictions is held to be true. Knowledge meanwhile refers to explicit information gleaned from study or experience that has its basis in hard fact. Believing is not the same as knowing but often beliefs are treated as facts. Beliefs are determined by a number of factors like religion, societal norms etc. In this particular context beliefs and knowledge or beliefs parading as knowledge are crucial factors in cross gender communication. In today's society, sexuality remains a largely taboo subject and the term continues to have negative connotations. Individual actions are governed by guilt induced by religion or society. For the religiously inclined sex and lust are usually portrayed as the epitome of evil. Sexual intercourse must be tolerated for the purpose of procreation and is not to be enjoyed or desired. Further societal or peer pressure dampens sexual enthusiasm. For instance, it is believed that a big penis is a prerequisite for studs and an hourglass figure is essential for a woman to be desirable, therefore men worry about the size of their penises while women obsess about their bodies and this detracts from sexual enjoyment and healthy sexual expression. According to Dreyfus, "fears of rejection, failure, criticism, feelings of embarrassment or awkwardness, body image concerns, performance anxiety, anger towards a partner or women in general, or lack of attraction towards a partner, all play a part in reducing or eliminating the sexual response" (175). Therefore these extraneous variables stemming from belief constitute the complex amalgam that is sexuality and inhibit communication between the sexes. Men are usually loathe to discuss these issues and avoid them completely, while women stew in bewilderment and hurt while wrestling with their own conflicting beliefs about sexuality. Therefore a thorough understanding of the beliefs that color attitudes and influence behavior is necessary for effective communication. Carugati states that "The multiple truths are found via an approach that continuously attacks currently held beliefs from multiple points of view" (154). There are few questions in the world to which completely satisfactory answers have been found. Conflicting evidence and contradictory viewpoints usually exist. Therefore in the words of Lattal and Laipple, "Because competing explanations may each lead to successful working, there may be multiple 'truths'" (48). With regard to sexuality, the concept of "Multiple truths" may be used to explain gender differences in communication as opposed to a narrow - minded one dimensional viewpoint. Biological variations are believed by many to be the innate causal factor that accounts for differences between the sexes. At the psychological level, men and women receive reinforcement or punishment for their manner of communication and this determines future communication patterns. For examples males are reinforced if their speech is assertive and powerful, whereas females are lauded for being soft-spoken. Societal norms and expectations may also be responsible for gender differences in communication. Political correctness notwithstanding, society has clearly delineated masculine and feminine traits and the consequences are usually unpleasant for those who fail to conform to these norms. This factor also influences communication between and among the sexes. In this light, it appears that opposing viewpoints may coexist and a combination of factors may lead to the ultimate truth. Differences in Masculine and Feminine Styles of Communication Edwards says that "Conversation between women and men are often more difficult than same - sex conversations" (qtd. in Carroll & Wolpe 156). This difficulty is believed to arise due to differences in communication styles. According to Wood, "feminine speech tends to foster connections, support, closeness and understanding" (119). In feminine style of communication, attempts are made to show empathy and understanding. Therefore women usually draw on experience to express oneness. Feminine speech is interactive and expresses interest in the other person and attempts to draw the other person into the conversation. This is not the case in masculine style where individuals seek to control the conversation. Feminine speech is designed to be supportive and sympathetic to the troubles of others. The female conversational style is usually personal in tone and responsive. Feminine patterns of communication thrive on shared confidences and exchanged intimacies. Opening up is believed to be essential in order to forge satisfying bonds and to experience a feeling of closeness and warmth. Beck found that "Conversations between feminine people tend to be characterized by many questions that probe for greater understanding of feelings and perceptions surrounding the subject of talk" (qtd. in Wood 119 - 20). Tentativeness is believed to be another characteristic of the feminine style of communication as opposed to the assertiveness that characterizes masculinity. This manner of speaking is adopted so as not to intimidate others and to encourage them to open up. According to Wood, "Masculine speech communities tend to regard talk as a way to exert control, preserve independence, entertain, and enhance status" (121). In this conversational style, the utmost importance is given to control. The tone is authoritative and challenging and the brashness is often disguised as humor. Masculine speech is dense in verbiage but personal disclosure is kept to a minimum or is non-existent. In common parlance individuals exhibiting this particular characteristic would be said to have "intimacy issues". In the masculine style of conversation, individuals aim to exude strength and keep signs of vulnerability or weakness carefully hidden. Therefore it is not surprising that research has shown that men are more likely to interrupt conversations in their bid to establish dominance and manipulate the conversation. Speech patterns are direct, straightforward and concise. Men are likely to speak in the abstract so as not to divulge anything incriminatory about them. Nonverbal communication patterns also vary in men and women. Body language is often used as a substitute for direct speech. In keeping with societal norms, women focus on their appearance, exude softness and warmth and adopt a non-threatening stance. Unlike women the nonverbal communication patterns in males lack subtlety. Further women are more adept in correctly interpreting nonverbal communication. Difficulties in the Process of Males and Females Understanding Each Other Carroll and Wolpe reveal that "gender differences in communication can lead to miscommunication in relationships" (157). Incompatible beliefs pertaining to human sexuality may also lead to communication problems. All these problems are the result of faulty understanding or misinterpretation of each other's speech. Sometimes women like their partners to draw out the information they are dying to share and are offended when men fail to do so. Of course men do not intend to be insensitive; in keeping with their communication rules they assume that if the woman wants to share something she will do so when she is ready. Such trivialities are responsible for the seemingly huge and insurmountable barrier that exists between the sexes. At this juncture it must be mentioned that the difficulties mentioned above may be easily resolved. Men and women are capable of using the masculine and feminine communication styles interchangeably. Awareness and an understanding of the gender differences in communication will diminish such problems considerably. Patience, devotion, commitment and compatibility often serve to render the obstacles that stand in the way of effective communication insignificant. Works Cited Carroll, Janell, and Paul Wolpe. Sexuality Now: Embracing Diversity. Belmont: Thomas Wadsworth, 2005. Carugati, Andrea. "Information Systems Development as Inquiring Systems: Theoretical Discussion." Rescuing the Enlightenment from Itself: Critical and Systemic Implications for Democracy. Ed. Janet McIntyre - Mills. New York: Springer Publishing, 2005. 150 - 64. Dreyfus, Edward. Keeping your Sanity. Philadelphia: Xlibris Corporation, 2000. Lattal, Kennon and Joseph Laipple. "Pragmatism and Behavior Analysis." Behavior Theory and Philosophy. Eds. Kennon Lattal and Philip Chase. New York: Springer Publishing, 2004. 41 - 62. Slater, Alan, and Darwin Muir. The Blackwell Reader in Developmental Psychology. Malden: Blackwell Publishing, 1999. Wood, Julia. Gendered Lives: Communication, Gender and Culture. New York: Thomas Wadsworth, 2005. Read More