Infidelity as Deviant Behavior and Crime - Coursework Example

Infidelity is a deviance behavior and crime: Inspiration for writing the topic The inspiration for choosing the topic of infidelity and writing on the same has been obtained from the psychological stress and trauma that I have gone through in my personal life after marriage. The experience of agony in my married life after having a baby son have given me the force to write about infidelity which I felt is a peculiar behavior that is deviant from the normal course of married life and is certainly a crime looking at the consequences it pose on the other partner. I have been a victim myself due to my partner’s adulterous behavior and breaking the relationship of faith and bonding of our married life. We were an apparently happy married couple leading a fulfilling life with my partner. We also had a baby son and everything in our life was moving so smoothly until some abnormalities started to crop up and finally I was able to find the truth why my partner was behaving in an abnormal manner in our relationship. For a while I was able to realize that my partner was not fully involved mentally and there were signs when he was absent minded in very intimate moments with me. My doubts started to get stronger by the day and finally one day when I returned home early at a time in which I should be usually out, the truth was revealed in front of my eyes. I found my partner lying in our bed in a cozy and objectionable situation with another woman. This act of cheating by my partner destroyed me totally from inside and I was devastated. The fact that I have sincerely given 9 years of my life and a baby son to my partner and in return becoming a victim of infidelity put me in dire psychological crisis. The topic has been chosen in order to share this incident, the commonality of infidelity and the ways in which it psychologically affects the victim. Ways in which cheating can cause psychological problems The discovery of infidelity and cheating by one of the partners can cause emotional problems and psychological disorder to the other partner. The secret of success of a marital relationship or bonding between two partners in love with each other is belief or faith towards the other partners. Thus the closeness of a marital relationship is largely due to the emotional bonding and fulfillment of mutual needs among the two partners. It is, therefore, obvious that any breach of faith in the relationship of marriage and love between the partners is like to cause psychological stress and mental disorder of the victim. As a result of the adulterous behavior and cheating by one of the partners engaged in a marital relationship or commitment towards the other partner is likely to cause psychological problems of the victim (Buss and Shackelford 198). The five ways in which psychological problems are caused as a result of infidelity have been described. Due to the deviance in the normal behavior as a result of infidelity, the victim is likely to feel devastated and destroyed mentally as the commitment towards love, sex and togetherness is breached. Due to the appearance of a third person in the relation, the partner who is the victim of infidelity would go through mental trauma and would place him or herself at a position of loss. Secondly, after an initial setback due to the act of cheating, the victim would keep thinking of the sincerity and commitment shown by him or her and in comparison the behavior of cheating done by the other partner. The memories of good times and the times of unusual behavior and breach of faith and bonding reappear in the mind as flashbacks. The re-experiencing of the mental trauma haunts the victim time and again that leads to psychological problems. Thirdly, as a result of the deviance behavior of infidelity by one the partners, the victim or the other partner would start to feel the void created in his or her life. The feeling of loneliness is likely to grasp the victim and a sense of hollowness would start creeping more from inside (Roscoe, Cavanaugh and Kennedy 42). This would have psychological effect as the person would tend to lead a secluded life with less contact with the close ones. Fourthly, the symptoms of psychological problems as a result of cheating due to extra marital affair of one of the partners would be the apparent loss of concentration in any activity undertaken. The victim would tend to become absent minded and is likely to make more mistakes at work as well as in family life. Finally as a result of cheating and breach of commitment in the marital relationship, the cheated partner would be mentally disturbed and would find it tough to believe any close relative and friend, near and dear ones. This psychological problem may result in deterioration of relationship with other members in the family as well. Infidelity is deviant from normal behavior and is a crime Infidelity is a behavior that involves engagement of the partners tied in a marital relationship with a third person outside marriage for fulfillment of personal needs. Marriage is viewed to be a relationship between two people that allows fulfillment of mutual needs of the couple tied in a special bond with each other. The married couple shares a special relationship with each other that is built on the basis of mutual trust. The normal behavior in a married relationship suggests that the couple is free to share varied emotions and thoughts, physical behavior and gestures, mutual actions that are acceptable to each other. The expressions of love, sex, anger, happiness, sorrow, content, planning and fulfillment, success are shared between the two partners leading the marital life. There is no doubt that apart from the emotional and mental satisfaction, the physical and sexual behaviors are part of intimacy of the married couple bound together in the relationship. The normal behavior and trend suggests that the two partners engaged in the marital bond share their feelings, thoughts and attainment fulfillment and satisfaction only among themselves with no entry to any outsider in this relationship. There is an obvious sense of commitment and possessiveness between the partners who share their heart and soul in the marital relationship. The marital relationship between two persons does not permit entry of any third individual with whom mutual feelings and sentiments could be shared or with whom any of the partners could engage in any form of physical or mental bonding. The act of infidelity describes just that behavior which is deviant from the normal course of marital life as it involves engagement of any of the partners with a third individual for seeking mental satisfaction or physical fulfillment (Young, Griffin-shelley, Cooper, Omarad and Buchanan 64). Infidelity is, therefore, a deviance behavior where an individual breaches the trust of a married relationship with his or her partners and spends time and money, shares emotions or become physically involved with a third individual in order to fulfill the void created in the existing marriage. The act of infidelity is deviant from normal behavior as the person indulges into the act of cheating the other partner for the sake of personal satisfaction. This puts the other partner into a confusing situation of disbelief that in various ways causes psychological disorder of the victim. The act of infidelity could be referred as a crime since one of the partners for the sake of fulfillment of individual emotions and physical needs starts giving priority of a third person over his or her partner and in the process kills the relationship of years of marriage (Shackelford, Buss and Bennett 305). The breach of trust puts the victim into a psychological trauma from which it is very difficult to recover in the lifetime. Commonality in occurrence of infidelity The commonality in the occurrence of infidelity could be judged from the rising cases of infidelity behavior among the married couples. There may be several reasons behind the increasing commonality in the behavior of infidelity among married men and women. In order to find the common reasons for the increase in infidelity in the society, a questionnaire has been developed as given below and individuals who have been cheated by their partners in married life have been asked to respond to the questions listed in the questionnaire. The responses of the individuals cheated as a result of the behavior of infidelity have helped to justify the trend of adultery that is prevalent in the communities. It has been found that not only the men, the women almost share equal percentage for exhibiting deviance behavior of infidelity in their married lives. It has been observed that while 55% of the men in the societies have exhibited infidelity at some point in their married lives, the women are not far behind in cheating their married partners with 50% on an average showing adulterous behavior. This has been shown in the chart displayed below. The commonality in the behavior of infidelity among married couples could be attributed to a common trend or reasons that have been found after speaking to people who have either cheated or been cheated. The individuals who have cheated have felt the need to engage with a third person outside marriage for fulfillment of their emotional or physical needs (Double and Cockburn 468). The causes of misunderstanding between the married couples may be due to the prioritization of their career against their marital life. Some of them have also attached more importance to other family members, friends and children than their partners. The misunderstanding and the gap created in their married lives have left the couple emotionally disconnected. In order to fill the void in their married lives, the men and women have engaged with a third partner outside their conjugal lives with whom they fulfilled their emotional and physical needs. Rather than the physical needs, the rise in infidelity has been majorly due to the fulfillment of psychological needs (Cano and OLeary 778). The discovery of infidelity of one of the partners have left the other one mentally disturbed and put the individual in a psychological trauma. In order to cope up with the changing lifestyle of the society, the men and women have begun prioritizing their careers more than their families. The increasing stress at job and void created in married life due to misunderstanding with the partner has vented in the form of infidelity. Work Cited Buss, David. and Todd, Shackelford. “Susceptibility to Infidelity in the First Year of Marriage”. Journal of Research in Personality. 31.2. (1997): 193-221. Print. Roscoe, Bruce., Lauri, Cavanaugh. and Donna, Kennedy. “Dating infidelity: Behaviors, reasons and consequences”. Adolescence. 23.89. (1988): 35-43. Print. Double, Michael. and Andrew, Cockburn. “Pre–dawn infidelity: females control extra-pair mating in superb fairy–wrens”. Proceedings of the Royal Society. 267.1442. (2000): 465-470. Print. Young, Kimberly., Eric, Griffin-shelley., Al, Cooper., James, Omarad. and Jennifer, Buchanan. “Online infidelity: A new dimension in couple relationships with implications for evaluation and treatment”. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity: The Journal of Treatment & Prevention. 7.1. (2000): 59-74. Print. Cano, Annmarie. and Daniel, OLeary. “Infidelity and separations precipitate major depressive episodes and symptoms of nonspecific depression and anxiety”. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. 68.5. (2000): 774-781. Print. Shackelford, Todd., David, Buss. and Kevin, Bennett. “Forgiveness or breakup: Sex differences in responses to a partners infidelity”. Cognition and Emotion. 16.2. (2002): 299-307. Print. Read More