Family and Relationship Counselling - Report Example

Family is a very important unit in the society and helps in impacting the necessary attributes in those who come from families. A family is made up of many related persons and they share the same blood. A family helps in passing of behaviours across the family because the children take most of their behaviours from their parents and elders. Therefore, it is important for a society to mould a family so as to impact the positive attributes to the coming generations. Most of the behaviours the children have been taken from their family may it be their immediate family or the extended family. Therefore, the society should ensure they instil the positive impact on their children. The origin of my family is Walter who was married to Elsie and they practised farming. They were parents to my dad so they are my grandparents. My dad married my mum and the first born of their marriage in 1960. I was brought up in a society where women were not recognized and they were supposed to be submissive. My mother died in 1966 when I was 6 years, my brother was 5 years and our lastborn sister was only 3 years. My dad looked down on us me and my sister and did not care so much about us. My dad on cared about his son and did not want anything to do with me or my sister. In my society the fathers loved their sons so much and gave them everything that they require to acquire the best growth. The chain lines down in the family because even my dad looked up to his father who was my grandfather. After passing on of my mum dad married Jan who had a son and they got a son together. Jan mistreated me and my sister and took good care of my brother. This affected my relationship with her and I have not spoken to her for the last 25 years. My father hated me so much because I resembled my mother and I constantly reminded him of her. Communication patterns The communication patterns in a family are very important because they determine what a certain family can have as their norms in everything they do. The communication patterns differ from family to family because no family is like another. My family are strong Catholics and practice all the required practices. Not all the family members attend church regularly; my dad does not attend church because he is an Atheist. Therefore, dad is not support as going to church because he so it as a waste of time. This is because he was brought up by strong Catholics who could not let him miss church and he saw it as enslavement. He has an alcohol problem and he gets violent after taking the drugs. Therefore, we could not attend church organizations such as the junior youth or children’s choir. When mum was alive we could say prayers everyday but could still stop as from praying. This relationship with religion portrays the multi level family perspective, showing the interrelationship of the family with other social institutions like religion (Hartman, 1995). In my society women are seen as workers and they are supposed to be submissive and were not supposed to question decisions made by men. They had to act the way men wanted. Women were also used as sex tools by men and they do not have to complain about such things. Girls could not get same treatment as the one got by boys. Girls could not go to school and become professionals. Women are subjected to domestic violence and could not attain justice in any way because the justice path was biased. Women were treated as second class citizens and could be respected by men in the society (Waters, 1996). During my childhood I experienced the worst time ever because my father could come drunk and could subject us to the highest level of domestic violence. I played the role of a protector to my sister and brother. This highly affected me and I wondered if all the marriages should have such violence. This proved to be very bad for me because I felt I could not get married at some point so as not to experience such treatment. Due to this treatment i had to run away from home at the age of 15 so as to stay away from such oppression. But because of naivety and feeling a lone in the world I got into a relationship that some getting a baby at the age of 16 years. The reason behind this relationship is that at that age I trusted everyone I came across so as to feel protected from the harsh past experience of domestic violence and all the other oppressions. The marriage did not last for long and my husband started subjecting me to domestic violence due alcoholism and use of other drugs. He became unreasonable and i could not live with him anymore. Due to moral decay of my society I had to remarry to try and find happiness. But the marriage also resulted to abuse and stress and I had to divorce him. The life I lived took away my confidence and I lived as if I had no life of my own and lived according to other people’s expectation and needs. The broken marriages have left me with a lot pain in my heart because I thought my life would be different from the once my parents had. The life I have faced have made me a better person who have learnt from experience and who can make a positive impact on other generations to fight the oppression I faced. Self-confidants: never had, better now in some areas of my life. The system that was instilled in me ensured that I was fearful of the things that happened to me. This is because I lived in fear all my life but have worked towards change in the past 12 months and am a changed person. I have fought to ensure that i do not live in that fear again and I protect my children to the best of my ability. During my early years I trusted everyone but after all what I have gone through I no longer trust anyone (Woodiwiss, 1998). My family of origin is faced with problems common in the social system, but these problems appear to threaten the social interrelations in the family, and between the social system and the family. Intervention and resources need to be applied in this family unit in order to curb the social conflict already threatening the social order of this family (Hartman, 1995). The strain between the family members and the extended family cannot be ended without the society first looking at the basic problem in their nuclear family. Addressing the women condition can be the beginning of the healing process for the family’s relationships and their relationships with the social system. By solving girls and women problem, the relationship in the families can improve, and the family’s relationship with the extended family will be solved. The best traits of the society should be spread across the whole community so as to solve problems such domestic violence and drug abuse. The family can use religion to ensure that no oppression is experienced by any members of the society. According to Julia Wood (2006), communication is a vital aspect in the relationship of the family members and the social system. Differentiation between thinking and feeling helps the family members to think rationally other than basing their thinking on emotions. This helps in making the right decisions which favour all members of the family. Differential between self and other family members is a key tool in enhancing a personal relationship with other social institutions like religion, other than following other people’s decisions or approval (Hartman, 1995). According to the family systems perspective, when one family member is affected by a phenomenon, other family members are also affected (Wood, 1996). This reflection has helped me find myself and am working towards saving myself from the societal jail that I have been for so long. I have gone ahead to pursue my dream course so that I could be able to work with children and those people suffering from the oppressions of the societal. I have also realized that it’s never too late for one to break the chains of oppression. The society should works towards improving the state of women not to treat them as second class citizens. People should take as their personal responsibility that requires a person to acknowledge what one wants to achieve in college, understand the need to manage time effectively and wisely, between the outside and college life (Downing, 2004). Students who are aware of their learning styles benefit the materials they are learning best. Time management is extremely crucial to being successful in college. There are other aspects in life which are, in fact, demanding when it comes to personal time like television, and social networking, friends and family. A person should have the ability to prioritize what is essential and what is optional on order to manage time well. Keys =Female =Male = Me =Drug Problem =Divorced =Deceased =Alcohol Problem =Controlling =Criminal Justice System =Close =Very Close =Aggressive =Domestic Violence (perpetrator) = Domestic Violence (Victim) Walter, 70yrs Strong stern parents Farmers Elise, 43yrs Earl Ron Clarence Wilfred Simeon Walter Bert (Pop) Muriel 65yrs 50yrs 69yrs Infant Infant 58yrs 59yrs 65yrs Infant Stillborn 70yrs Thomas, 60yrs (ruled with iron fist) (stern) Sylvia, 58yrs Mick, 63yrs Twins 58yrs World War Two Joan George Percy William Walter John Victor Pat, 72yrs Bev John 69yrs Infant 23yrs 74yrs 57yrs 69yrs 57yrs Elise (Nan) 70yrs Bert (pop) 65yrs, 1975 Granma Myrtle, 53yrs (flusy) Henry, 38yrs, 1936 Dorothy, 79yrs (flusy) Greg Bruce Gwen Ron Elsie Ken (Dad) Bert 49yrs 47yrs 67yrs 70yrs 71yrs 70yrs 74yrs Percy, 23yrs Gladys (Nan) 85yrs Cecile, 70yrs Very Catholic Jan, 69yrs Tober Desley Jimmy 65yrs 61yrs 59yrs Ken, 70yrs –Atheists Paul, 47yrs Geraldine, 26yrs Janet Ken 47yrs 49yrs Kim Mark 52yrs 41yrs (current) In conclusion, a family is the basic unit of a society, and the relationship between the family members reflects the interrelationship of the family and other social institutions. Whenever there is instability in the family, the instability is carried on to the social institutions, and finally, this leads to social conflict and social disorder in the larger social system. The relationship effects from the nuclear family are carried on to the social institutions and determine how an individual relates with other social actors. Analysis of human communication which is theoretical in nature, yet confined in empirical circumstances, gives room for a sociological frame for making sense of the human communication discourse and activities. The myriad of efforts, more generally to institutionalize some rights of principles requires attention by psychology, mostly students of family issues. This process is guaranteed success by no means. By expanding the sociological the sociological horizon to accommodate the set rights of principles, will engage sociologists with major moral matters in the global arena, and how they will be played out locally. In sociological judgment, addressing of the universal human rights matters, sociologists are called upon to remould and reform some of the basic concepts and perspectives by which they have been examining the social reality. This restructuring of the concepts will give a clear understanding of the social reality and human rights in the society. References Hartman, A., and Laird, J. (1983). Family-centered social work practice. New York: Free Press. Hartman, A. (1995). "Diagrammatic assessment of family relationships." Families in society 76(2):111–122. Wood, J. (2006). Communication in our lives.6th ed. Boston: Wad worth Cengage Learning. Bratch, N. (1969). The contribution of public health social work in Academic departments of community medicine. The milbank memorial fund 47(1) 73-89. New York: Blackwell publishing: Fadiman, A. (1998). The spirit catches you and you fall down: a Hmong child, her American doctors, and the collision of two cultures. North point press: Farrar, Straus and Giroux. Lieberman, A., Lester, C. (2003). Social work practice with a difference. New York: McGraw-Hill. Spector, R. (2008). Cultural diversity in health and illnesses (7th ed.). New Jersey: Prentice hall. Brown, A. (2009). Personal responsibility: Why it matters. New York: Continuum. Downing, S. (2004). On course: strategies for creating success in college and in life. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Co. Mason, Alex, Julia, Hitch and Richard Spoth. “Longitudinal relations among negative affect, substance use, and peer deviance during the transition from middle to late adolescence.” Substance use and misuse, 44 (2009): 1142-1159. Print. Waters, M., (1996). “Human rights and universalization of interests: towards a social constructionist approach.” Sociology 30(3): 593-600. Woodiwiss, A., (1998). Globalisation, Human Rights and Labour Law in Pacific Asia. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. Read More

Not all the family members attend church regularly; my dad does not attend church because he is an Atheist. Therefore, dad is not support as going to church because he so it as a waste of time. This is because he was brought up by strong Catholics who could not let him miss church and he saw it as enslavement. He has an alcohol problem and he gets violent after taking the drugs. Therefore, we could not attend church organizations such as the junior youth or children’s choir. When mum was alive we could say prayers everyday but could still stop as from praying.

This relationship with religion portrays the multi level family perspective, showing the interrelationship of the family with other social institutions like religion (Hartman, 1995). In my society women are seen as workers and they are supposed to be submissive and were not supposed to question decisions made by men. They had to act the way men wanted. Women were also used as sex tools by men and they do not have to complain about such things. Girls could not get same treatment as the one got by boys.

Girls could not go to school and become professionals. Women are subjected to domestic violence and could not attain justice in any way because the justice path was biased. Women were treated as second class citizens and could be respected by men in the society (Waters, 1996). During my childhood I experienced the worst time ever because my father could come drunk and could subject us to the highest level of domestic violence. I played the role of a protector to my sister and brother. This highly affected me and I wondered if all the marriages should have such violence.

This proved to be very bad for me because I felt I could not get married at some point so as not to experience such treatment. Due to this treatment i had to run away from home at the age of 15 so as to stay away from such oppression. But because of naivety and feeling a lone in the world I got into a relationship that some getting a baby at the age of 16 years. The reason behind this relationship is that at that age I trusted everyone I came across so as to feel protected from the harsh past experience of domestic violence and all the other oppressions.

The marriage did not last for long and my husband started subjecting me to domestic violence due alcoholism and use of other drugs. He became unreasonable and i could not live with him anymore. Due to moral decay of my society I had to remarry to try and find happiness. But the marriage also resulted to abuse and stress and I had to divorce him. The life I lived took away my confidence and I lived as if I had no life of my own and lived according to other people’s expectation and needs. The broken marriages have left me with a lot pain in my heart because I thought my life would be different from the once my parents had.

The life I have faced have made me a better person who have learnt from experience and who can make a positive impact on other generations to fight the oppression I faced. Self-confidants: never had, better now in some areas of my life. The system that was instilled in me ensured that I was fearful of the things that happened to me. This is because I lived in fear all my life but have worked towards change in the past 12 months and am a changed person. I have fought to ensure that i do not live in that fear again and I protect my children to the best of my ability.

During my early years I trusted everyone but after all what I have gone through I no longer trust anyone (Woodiwiss, 1998). My family of origin is faced with problems common in the social system, but these problems appear to threaten the social interrelations in the family, and between the social system and the family. Intervention and resources need to be applied in this family unit in order to curb the social conflict already threatening the social order of this family (Hartman, 1995). The strain between the family members and the extended family cannot be ended without the society first looking at the basic problem in their nuclear family.

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