Sexuality from Text BookVan Krieken, R., Habibis, D., Smith, P., Hutchins, - Essay Example

Domestic violence is a topic that has been written by very many authors. Many researchers assert that the average rates of gender violence have escalated since the onset of nineteenth century (Van Krieken et al, 2006) Socio-economic inequalities, culture and biological factors have been cited among other factors to be the major contributors in this social problem. These occurrences usually affect one’s opinions in life. These could be either positive or negative (Van Krieken et al, 2006) This paper therefore elaborates my previous opinion about the issue domestic violence. This was that all married women experience domestic violence from their spouses. .It then discusses my current opinion on the issue. This is that not all married men abuse their wives. There is also an analysis of factors that caused me to change my mind about the issue. These are research, personal experiences and exposure to organisations that deal with domestic violence against men. Finally, the paper discusses the change process; the occurrences that led me to change my opinion about domestic violence. The major argument in this essay is that there are more men victims of domestic violence than women in the society. (Van Krieken et al, 2006) ‘Till death do as part’ is a figurative speech is common in many wedding ceremonies and the couple getting married solemnly swear to the congregation that they will remain together till death do them part. Most critics believe that as long as there is an increase in domestic violence, the metaphor no longer makes sense. At this juncture, one can pause and ask; which sex is highly affected by domestic violence? People have diverse opinions on prevalence of domestic violence against men and women. Available statistics show that many men compared to women still go through domestic violence. (Oliver, 2009) . Domestic violence against men is a very serious issue that is taking place in the society. Research carried out by Dowd, (2001) has shown that men undergo verbal, physical, emotional and even psychological torture. Personal experiences may either result in a negative or positive opinion about an issue. My previous opinion was that all married women go through domestic violence in their homes. This was embedded in my mind because of the things that I witnessed in my family. I witnessed my mother go through different forms abuse from my father. These experiences made me to be of the opinion that all married women experienced domestic violence. (Dowd, 2001) I therefore perceived marriage as a place where all women (wives) therein go through virtually every form of abuse from their husbands. It is quite essential to note that these perceptions had very negative effects on my relationships in the society. (Van Krieken et al, 2006) During this time, my opinion was highly based on what I heard from my friends concerning the issue of domestic violence against men and women. Majority of my friends perceived women to be highly abused in marriages. There were many instances when I saw abused women in the press. In these instances, they claimed to have gone through so much physical, emotional, verbal and even psychological abuse. My current opinion about this has changed. My opinion about the issue is that not all married men abuse their wives. My current opinion about this issue is that there is a very large percentage of men who treat their wives very well and as equal partners or even with higher treatment. (Van Krieken et al, 2006) Furthermore I have come to the knowledge, through research and personal experiences that a large percentage of men go through domestic violence as compared to their female counterparts. It is only that men never want anyone to know about the kind of domestic abuse that they get from their wives. This is considering the fact that society in general does not welcome the idea of men being abused. This in relation to information collected from Equal justice foundation and International men’s network (IMN) organisations. In this case, it is not very easy for the society to believe that a man is being abused as compared to a woman. In case such information leaks out, the abused men are perceived to be weak and may end up not being respected in the society. This explains the fact that statistics from Equal justice foundation and International men’s network (IMN) show that reported cases of domestic violence against men are very low. Research carried out by Dowd (2001) shows that a very large percentage of women abuse men in marriages. His article also indicates that are very many men all over the world who do not abuse women. Therefore the opinion that all married men are abusive to their wives is quite baseless. (Dowd, 2001) The answer to this question is yes. Many are being physically abused by their spouses but fear to reveal this issue to the society. This is not the real situation on the ground. So why has my opinion changed over the years concerning the issue of domestic violence? There are various factors that have made me to change my previous opinion about domestic violence in marriage. One of the major factors that led to change of my previous opinion was research that I carried out on this issue. This was through a non governmental organisation that was dealing with the issue of domestic violence in marriage. The research was carried out in both western and African nations. This was specifically in Australia, United States, South Africa, Congo and Uganda. (George, 1994) This survey was a real eye opener on the issue of domestic violence. The research was carried out with high confidentiality where respondents were not in any way able to know each other’s response. The survey was carried out among married men and women in these nations. The results of the quantitative and qualitative data accrued clearly indicated that many men were experiencing domestic violence from their spouses. (Van Krieken et al, 2006) Surprisingly majority of the women respondents consented that they had on many occasions abused their spouses by using either abusive language and by denying them their conjugal rights. The reason to this behaviour was related to change in economic status among women. It was highly evident that majority of women in all the nations were employed on permanent basis. Furthermore they were getting a higher salary than their spouses. Many women consented that there were cases when they reported cases of violence in the home when they were the ones on the wrong. For instance, they turned violent in a disagreement and used physical force on their spouses. So as to defend himself, the men hit back. The women ended up reporting their husbands to the authorities for domestic violence. In this scenario, the women were highly responsible for the violence. Ninety eight percent of the men consented that they never reported any occurrence to the police whenever they were abused by their wives. They however felt more at ease to share their experiences to officials in organisations that deal with men’s rights and domestic violence. These statistics generally changed my opinion on the issue of domestic violence in marriages. (Van Krieken et al, 2006) Secondary research carried out on this topic has also played a great role in changing my overall opinion on this issue. There are various books, journals and magazine that expound on this topic that have changed my views. Scholars in the recent past have made it quite clear that domestic violence against women is not to the degree that it was purported. Information from internet cites have shown the prevalence of domestic abuse against men in marriages. They include www.batteredmen.com, www.giftfromwithin.org and www.safe4all.org.This source easily provides information because it is very easy for the author to remain anonymous. The information I collected through electronic sources also played a great role in changing my opinion abut domestic violence in marriage. (Van Krieken et al, 2006) On the other hand, it is quite evident that men are going through verbal, physical and even emotional violence from their spouses. Majority of men are very caring towards their spouses save for a handful of them. (Van Krieken et al, 2006) The statistics of men who are silently being violated by women is continuing to rise day by day. This is more so as the women become economically empowered. This information has changed my overall opinion on domestic violence and that not all men are violent towards their wives. (Van Krieken et al, 2006) Another factor that has played a great role in changing my opinion is the exposure to non governmental organisations that deal with human rights issues. This includes movements that have been started in the recent past about men. I have had the exposure to meet men who have gone through domestic violence and the situation was pathetic. This is through organisations such as Equal justice foundation and International men’s network (IMN). The statistics in these organisations reveal that majority of men that have gone through violence never want the information to be publicised in the press. They simply would never want anyone to know and therefore such information is not easily collected by the media. (Van Krieken et al, 2006) Through these organisations, I came across men who had been burnt, cut with sharp objects etc. When they went to hospital, they came up with fake stories to explain why they had injuries. I have also had the opportunity of staying with different families where men were being mishandled by their wives. While it was not easy to notice, the men just opened up and consented that they were going through abuse. This was after I inquired on their reason for having extramarital affairs. The men were so quiet while in their homes but were the opposite when they were in other places. They said that they were forced to because that is where they found some serenity and appreciation. Ninety percent of the cases have economically empowered women and seventy five percent are alcoholic. (Van Krieken et al, 2006) Changing an opinion is never easy. This is more so when the opinion has been embedded in one’s mind at an early age. The change process of my opinion on domestic violence has been slow but gradual. The first time when I was involved in survey on domestic violence was an eye opener. It hit my reasoning and shattered the opinions that I had about domestic violence. I argued against the information because it was everyone believed; then how could this be the other way round. I fought the idea thinking that it was just being put forth by male chauvinists. I challenged the thoughts that I had at my tender age. I asked myself; who knows what the women had done behind the scenes in terms of abuse that was never spoken about? This compelled me to do more research on the topic. All my friends opinions remained routed on my former opinion. This therefore led to a tag of war inside me not knowing which side to stand for (Van Krieken et al, 2006) After further analysis of the situation, I came to the information that previous studies were highly based on reports from police and statistics of the cases that had been taken to court but were not depicting the real situation on the ground. I started looking out for more information on the issue. I delved for current books that had been written on the topic. I befriended married men just to know what the situation was (Van Krieken et al, 2006) After being close to them for some time; ofcourse with the agenda of getting relevant information, it dawned on me otherwise. Many men were being verbally, physically, emotionally and even financially abused by their wives. This enabled me to change the overall thoughts that I had slowly by slowly. That is when I started slowly to change my opinion. It is never easy to change one’s opinion against the majority people’s opinion. I started concurring that maybe this could be half true. If a curve was to be drawn, my opinion started shifting from ten, twenty, forty, seventy and finally hundred percent that men were going through domestic violence unlike their female counterparts as it was reported in press etc. After analysis of all those factors, I finally came to the conclusion that times have changed and various factors in the social scene have also changed. This could have led to the prevalence of domestic violence against men in the society. (Van Krieken et al, 2006) In conclusion, my previous opinion on this issue was that women were highly going through domestic violence. This made me think that all men abused their wives and that all of them were quite inhuman. My current opinion on this issue is that a large percentage of men are going through domestic violence as compared to women and that not all men are abusive to their wives. This is in terms of physical, verbal, emotional and even psychological abuse. Various factors made me to change my views on the issue. These include primary research carried out on the topic in various nations and reading of current books and journals, internet etc. The exposure to non governmental organisations that deal with human rights issues also affected my change of mind. Finally, my personal interaction with men who are undergoing domestic violence contributed to the change in me. The change process was never drastic. I had to argue out on the facts that were laid out. Slowly by slowly, my opinion changed to the fact that the degree of men going through domestic violence in marriage is quite high as compared to women. Read More

It is quite essential to note that these perceptions had very negative effects on my relationships in the society. (Van Krieken et al, 2006) During this time, my opinion was highly based on what I heard from my friends concerning the issue of domestic violence against men and women. Majority of my friends perceived women to be highly abused in marriages. There were many instances when I saw abused women in the press. In these instances, they claimed to have gone through so much physical, emotional, verbal and even psychological abuse.

My current opinion about this has changed. My opinion about the issue is that not all married men abuse their wives. My current opinion about this issue is that there is a very large percentage of men who treat their wives very well and as equal partners or even with higher treatment. (Van Krieken et al, 2006) Furthermore I have come to the knowledge, through research and personal experiences that a large percentage of men go through domestic violence as compared to their female counterparts.

It is only that men never want anyone to know about the kind of domestic abuse that they get from their wives. This is considering the fact that society in general does not welcome the idea of men being abused. This in relation to information collected from Equal justice foundation and International men’s network (IMN) organisations. In this case, it is not very easy for the society to believe that a man is being abused as compared to a woman. In case such information leaks out, the abused men are perceived to be weak and may end up not being respected in the society.

This explains the fact that statistics from Equal justice foundation and International men’s network (IMN) show that reported cases of domestic violence against men are very low. Research carried out by Dowd (2001) shows that a very large percentage of women abuse men in marriages. His article also indicates that are very many men all over the world who do not abuse women. Therefore the opinion that all married men are abusive to their wives is quite baseless. (Dowd, 2001) The answer to this question is yes.

Many are being physically abused by their spouses but fear to reveal this issue to the society. This is not the real situation on the ground. So why has my opinion changed over the years concerning the issue of domestic violence? There are various factors that have made me to change my previous opinion about domestic violence in marriage. One of the major factors that led to change of my previous opinion was research that I carried out on this issue. This was through a non governmental organisation that was dealing with the issue of domestic violence in marriage.

The research was carried out in both western and African nations. This was specifically in Australia, United States, South Africa, Congo and Uganda. (George, 1994) This survey was a real eye opener on the issue of domestic violence. The research was carried out with high confidentiality where respondents were not in any way able to know each other’s response. The survey was carried out among married men and women in these nations. The results of the quantitative and qualitative data accrued clearly indicated that many men were experiencing domestic violence from their spouses.

(Van Krieken et al, 2006) Surprisingly majority of the women respondents consented that they had on many occasions abused their spouses by using either abusive language and by denying them their conjugal rights. The reason to this behaviour was related to change in economic status among women. It was highly evident that majority of women in all the nations were employed on permanent basis. Furthermore they were getting a higher salary than their spouses. Many women consented that there were cases when they reported cases of violence in the home when they were the ones on the wrong.

For instance, they turned violent in a disagreement and used physical force on their spouses. So as to defend himself, the men hit back.

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