The Problem of Loss - Case Study Example

Loss of loved ones provides one of the most challenging times in the lives of human beings. It is an entity that is universal and affects everyone. Loss is part of life learning process and helps individuals to define their identity and personality (Bruce and Schultz, 2004). “Loss is defined as the state of being deprived of or being without something one has had. It is further defined as a detriment or disadvantage from failure to keep, have or get” (Humphrey and Zimpfer, 2007). The process of loss usually brings grief, bereavement and mourning (Hoyman and Kramer, 2006). Diane session is filled with evaluation of grief and how to handle loss of relatives. There are several ways in which loss and grief is encountered. Death of a loved one is devastating and can trigger varied reactions. Changes in the role of life and abilities have been associated with grief. There are various ways that grief and any form of loss or trauma can be managed, it is a structured entity that covers various aspects. Diane, is a 60 years-old lady, who suffers more than one loss in life; however, the one that caused the greatest impact on her life was the dead of her mother, and the situation surrounding it. Diane’s session is more about her getting in touch with her inner emotions, and clarifies some issues linked to the way her mother’s dead were managed by the hospital team, and her family. She recalls the kind of distress that she went through in her losses. I opened Diane’s session with the common contract, such as confidentiality to assure her that the information shared in the counselling sessions will be kept private (Sill, 2006). I use my skills of counselling to ensure I have good rapport with Diane as being skillful about the way we talk about her past events enables her talk about every detail of the events that transpired. She seems to feel comfortable with every question and contribution that is made and that way we are all able to come to a common point. The death of her mother is a turning point, and she feels a great change into her life. She was in situation that seemed tough and letting her go in the hospital was a tough decision. Diane came out of all the challenges the situation presented to her, and she exhibited a great personality afterwards. This enables her to cope with her overwhelming feelings as she tries to understand what she has been through and the pressure this is adding to her life. Diane is a strong woman based on the events that she went through and I accorded her respect for the kind of management she exhibited in her life. My appreciation of her abilities is based on how she managed in all that turmoil that was happening I can imagine having lost a father and later on her mother must have been difficult for her, I gave her credit for the great efforts she made in her life and she made a good example of a person who survived grief. There is anger emanating from her emotions and this is based on the fact that she was not able to understand how her brother left all the responsibilities and decision taking to her “…I was thinking, this is great, everybody left me to make the decision”. Taking care of her mother was a considerable task, although they had a great relationship, and they used to talk everyday on the phone, she needed all the help she could get. Her mother had two deteriorating illnesses, which required a lot of assistance and thus the little support she was able to garner seemed inadequate, even when she recalls her step father was looking after her after they move from her house. The grief period indicates a lot of struggle in her life, and counselling is essential as it creates an opportunity for reevaluation (Sigman & Wilson, 2014). Her mode of death was a form of special management as life support is just an adjuvant in terminal illness cases. In the session, Diane explains how she was frustrated with how her mother was treated in the hospital. Diane had the feeling that she was being left for dead. This appears to have had a great toll on her (Raphael, 2012). As counsellor I gave an appropriate assessment about what she was feeling, normalizing her feelings, and treating her with respect. Diane’s recall the hospital situation, and the issues involved vividly saying “…They put us in a ward where nobody was, like they are putting you away into a little hole until she died basically” these events where terrible for her, and for a while a source of trauma; like when she mentioned she felt like she killed her mother, I explain to Diane that her feelings towards the situation were normal, and the process that she went through and was important for her in order to understand the significance in her life. Diane session indicates that she is forthcoming and sounded reliable. It is clear that she was the closest to the mother based on the kind of relationship that the two had with each other. The relationship characterized by a strong love connection and the mother passing away was a great toll on her (Collins, 2011). Based on the evidence that was provided by Diane I was able to have proper understanding of the various processes and transformation that were happening in her life. The session was evidence based as we talked about mostly the events that occurred in her life and some of the effects that they had on her. I was to build a relationship between Diane and her true nature as she seemed very strong and how she explained most of the things depicted a much focused individual. Conte (2009) agreed that counsellors need to take proactive steps in order to check for understanding, and active listening is a great way to achieve it, reason why during the session, I kept verbal tracking, nodding, and summarizing Diane’s story. Her personality had changed as she became a strong woman. Diane has to be equipped with coping skills to enable her to come to terms with her loss (Nader, 2013). Diane is very religious, and it is important to her that her mother be buried close to her in order to be able to visit her at the cemetery. I know this because she mentioned a situation with her grandparents been moved from the cemetery in Melbourne, and she decided to go there and bring them to Sydney. The family is reported to have had a history of mental illness, for instance, her mother is reported to have had dementia and Alzheimer, and the fact that she had all the responsibilities left her was an adversity as she felt a lot of weight taking care of everything (Pynoos, 2012). Having these episodes in her life, and the way she always is, help her to cope with all this is a clear indication that she is handling the loss very well. In terms of adversity, the events in Diane’s life caused drastic changes, and she was broken as her only strong and better relationship with her mother was brought to a halt when she passed away. Diane’s attachment to her mother made the process even worse as emotions were strong, and she found it difficult letting her go. Despite all her troubles, she is able to establish new relationships with other people. For instance, she had a stepfather that seemed to be there for her in her tough times, even though it was a relationship that was not given much attention, she appreciates the fact that he was a great influence in her life Diane has great respect for him, as she describes him as an important figure in her life. He was supportive of her mother. It shows how she connected with him; a new person who had come into her life after a lot of detriments (Sigman & Wilson, 2014). Many people suffer losses and how they emerge from the stress that accompany the losses is dependent on how the perceive what has transpired. Thinking about death is inevitable, and we are going to be victims of death sometime in our life and preparation is key to ensuring proper coping. Easier said than done but it can be a challenging situation that there is nothing we can do about in order to change it. Supporting one another in times of grief is essential, and people are encouraged to do so. Family is important as unity enables those grieving have support from family members, and this alleviates any sense of loneliness that could be detrimental to a person’s life (Kauffman, 2012). The way Diane describes the state of the mother in the hospital and the decisions revolving around the discontinuation of the use of the life support machine greatly affects her (Pfeffer et al., 2012). As a therapist in the counselling session, I tried to give the connection with all these events and explain to Diane how it had great influence in her life. Diane initially thought that she had killed her mother with letting her go (Raphael & Martinek, 2013). The events that transpired in history were clear that they involved the well-being of the mother. However, Diane was not able for a while to understand the great role she played in the management of her mother, but fortunately she does now, and I pointed to her, that actually she honored her mother’s way of life. The making of a decision to turn off the life support of a loved one is often a challenge (Raphael & Martinek, 2013). Efforts to comfort her created an atmosphere that ensured coping with ease as life has to continue (Raphael & Martinek, 2013). There are times she explains the need to talk to about it was helpful. Diane would be equipped with coping skills that will enable her to come in terms with her loss (Sigman & Wilson, 2014). Diane gets an opportunity to explore her feelings which makes her feel nostalgic, talking about the ones we lost could have a great effect on the growth of the strength of an individual in matters concerning personal relationships. In conclusion, the loss of a love one always provides a process involving uncertainty, pain, despair, and much more. Many would require counselling in order to come to terms with the loss. It is based on counselling that one is equipped with coping skills that enable them to accept and come to terms with the loss of a loved one. In term of confidentiality, I kept my respect for Diane’s emotions and feelings. The discussion was a fruitful event that depicted great improvement in Diane’s life. There are various factors that are determinants of how one gets to grow past grief and any form of loss and how an individual is able to transform them. Diligence in active listening and empathy are pertinent as the process requires building of connections between the various events in her life. I was able to understand her entire process of thinking. References Attig, T. (2010). The Heart of Grief: Death and the Search for Lasting Love. NY: Oxford University Press. Collins, B. (2011). “Expect Miracles,” Psychotherapy Networker. “Expect Miracles,”Psychotherapy Networker , 26, 23-24. Conte, Ch (2009) Advanced Techniques for Counseling and Psychotherapy, NY; New York: Springer Publishing Company LLC New York. Corey, G. (2011). Theory and Practice of Counseling and Psychotherapy. Belmont CA: Wadsworth: Belmont CA: Wadsworth. Doka, K. (2012). Disenfranchised Grief: New Directions, Challenges, and Strategies for Practice. New York ; Research Press. Kauffman, J. (2012). Loss of the Assumptive World: A Theory of Traumatic Loss. NY: Brunner-Routledge. Kubler-Ross, E., & Kessler, D. (2010). Life Lessons. NY: Scribner. Neimeyer, R. (2000). Lessons of Loss. Memphis, TN: Center for the Study of Loss and Transition. Layne, C.M., Pynoos, R.S., Saltzman, W.S., Arslanagic, B., Black M., Savjak, N. et al. (2011). Trauma/grief focused psychotherapy: School-based post-war intervention with Traumatized Bosnian adolescents. Group Dynamics: Theory, Research, and Practice, 5(4), 277-290. Nader, K.O. (2013). Children’s exposure to traumatic experiences. In C.A. Corr & D.M. Corr (Eds.), Handbook of childhood death and bereavement, (pp. 201-220). Pfeffer, C.R., Jiang, H., Kakuma, T., Hwang, J., & Metsch, M. (2012). Group intervention for Children Bereaved by the suicide of a relative. Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 41, 505-513. Prigerson, H.G. & Jacobs, S.C. (2011). Diagnostic criteria for traumatic grief. In M.S. Stroebe, R.O. Hansson, W.Stroebe, & H. Schut (Eds.), Handbook of bereavement research, 614- 646. Washington DC, American Psychological Association. Pynoos, R. (2012). Grief and trauma in children and adolescents. Bereavement Care, 11(1), 2-10. Children’s exposure to violence and traumatic death. Psychiatric Annals, 20(6), 334-344. Raphael, B. (2012). The interaction of trauma and grief. In D. Black & M. Newman (Eds.), Psychological trauma: A developmental approach, (pp. 31-43). Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Press, Inc. Raphael, B. & Martinek, N. (2013). Assessing traumatic bereavement and posttraumatic stress Disorder. In J.P.Wilson & T.M. Keane (Eds.), Assessing psychological trauma and PTSD, (pp. 373-395). New York: The Guilford Press. Sigman, M. & Wilson, J.P. (2014). Traumatic bereavement: Post traumatic stress disorder and Prolonged grief in motherless daughters. Journal of Psychological Practice I, 4(1), 34-50. Wraith, R (2012). Debriefing for children: What is it we should be thinking about? Traumatic grief–growing at different life stages. Proceedings from the Joint National Conference, Sydney, May 7-10,384-6. Read More

There is anger emanating from her emotions and this is based on the fact that she was not able to understand how her brother left all the responsibilities and decision taking to her “…I was thinking, this is great, everybody left me to make the decision”. Taking care of her mother was a considerable task, although they had a great relationship, and they used to talk everyday on the phone, she needed all the help she could get. Her mother had two deteriorating illnesses, which required a lot of assistance and thus the little support she was able to garner seemed inadequate, even when she recalls her step father was looking after her after they move from her house.

The grief period indicates a lot of struggle in her life, and counselling is essential as it creates an opportunity for reevaluation (Sigman & Wilson, 2014). Her mode of death was a form of special management as life support is just an adjuvant in terminal illness cases. In the session, Diane explains how she was frustrated with how her mother was treated in the hospital. Diane had the feeling that she was being left for dead. This appears to have had a great toll on her (Raphael, 2012). As counsellor I gave an appropriate assessment about what she was feeling, normalizing her feelings, and treating her with respect.

Diane’s recall the hospital situation, and the issues involved vividly saying “…They put us in a ward where nobody was, like they are putting you away into a little hole until she died basically” these events where terrible for her, and for a while a source of trauma; like when she mentioned she felt like she killed her mother, I explain to Diane that her feelings towards the situation were normal, and the process that she went through and was important for her in order to understand the significance in her life.

Diane session indicates that she is forthcoming and sounded reliable. It is clear that she was the closest to the mother based on the kind of relationship that the two had with each other. The relationship characterized by a strong love connection and the mother passing away was a great toll on her (Collins, 2011). Based on the evidence that was provided by Diane I was able to have proper understanding of the various processes and transformation that were happening in her life. The session was evidence based as we talked about mostly the events that occurred in her life and some of the effects that they had on her.

I was to build a relationship between Diane and her true nature as she seemed very strong and how she explained most of the things depicted a much focused individual. Conte (2009) agreed that counsellors need to take proactive steps in order to check for understanding, and active listening is a great way to achieve it, reason why during the session, I kept verbal tracking, nodding, and summarizing Diane’s story. Her personality had changed as she became a strong woman. Diane has to be equipped with coping skills to enable her to come to terms with her loss (Nader, 2013).

Diane is very religious, and it is important to her that her mother be buried close to her in order to be able to visit her at the cemetery. I know this because she mentioned a situation with her grandparents been moved from the cemetery in Melbourne, and she decided to go there and bring them to Sydney. The family is reported to have had a history of mental illness, for instance, her mother is reported to have had dementia and Alzheimer, and the fact that she had all the responsibilities left her was an adversity as she felt a lot of weight taking care of everything (Pynoos, 2012).

Having these episodes in her life, and the way she always is, help her to cope with all this is a clear indication that she is handling the loss very well. In terms of adversity, the events in Diane’s life caused drastic changes, and she was broken as her only strong and better relationship with her mother was brought to a halt when she passed away. Diane’s attachment to her mother made the process even worse as emotions were strong, and she found it difficult letting her go.

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