Personal and Interpersonal Skills - Essay Example

Personal and Interpersonal Skills Name Institution Personal and Interpersonal Skills Part 1 I have been working at xxx early learning centre for eight months. I have been working at a permanent room as a casual worker with one room leader and two co-educators in the classroom. Last Tuesday, I had a conflict with the room leader with regards to the management strategies for a child’s challenging behaviour. I believed that give attention and do activities to teach him how to request needs and wants can reduce the child’s screaming and but the room leader believes that do not pay attention at all is a more effective way. Firstly, I asked the room leader whether we can give attention to the child to see if the challenging behaviour will decrease. Then the room leader answers, “We’ve tried many times to stop him and tell him that’s not right but it still happen. Once we don’t give him attention anymore, he stops screaming whenever he feels like he’s tired and bored.” “But I still think give him attention and teach is a more positive way to help him to understand right?” I tried to communicate with the room leader. “Nah. I don’t think that’s a good idea. I know him a lot.” In my perspectives, I believed that the room leader will consider suggestions based on our observations of the child’s behaviours. However, in her perspective, she might consider the consistency and focus of using a particular strategy. After she objected my opinion, I did not step forward to speak out what I thought exactly because I did not want to end up in a negative conversation. I had a conflict with the room leader due to inadequate understanding and application of appropriate interpersonal skills. I had a contradictory strategy on how to solve child’s challenging behaviour that was different from that of the room leader. In my perspective, I believed that it was relevant to use a strategy that was based on the observation of the child’s behaviour. However, the room leader insisted on concentrating on using a particular strategy. Instead of objecting his opinion and speaking out what I thought was right, I stepped back due to fear of negative conversation. In my opinion, when I reflect the conflict situation in the case study, I have tried to communicate and point out my own teaching strategies to the room leader. Nevertheless, if I used assertiveness to effectively communicate during the conflict, the outcome will be very different. Assertiveness is an example of interpersonal skill that is required during conflict (Alberti et al., 2001). Assertiveness can be termed as the quality of showing self-assurance and confidence without having to show proof. Sometimes assertiveness may be confused with aggressiveness. However, being assertive enable an individual to put ideas across. Being assertive also entails defending ideas with confidence and being affirmative to what you believe in. When used effectively, it can enable a person gain respect from others. It is a very important interpersonal skill particularly during conflict situations (Alberti et al., 2001). In the previous conflict with the room leader, assertiveness would ensure that I let my feelings and opinions known and reduce the anxiety in the conflict situation. Stepping back and being passive was not the best way to go. I may have adopted the passive response due to the need to avoid negative conversation and as a result of fear of confrontation. In order to be able to solve the conflict with the room leader, problem-solving skills could be important. A problem-solving skill is an important skill since interpersonal challenges are common in the social and work context. It is the ability to solve a problem after a considerable thinking and evaluation (Simons and Peterson, 2000). It is not how quickly one solves a problem, but how a person goes about it. In order to be successful in solving problems, it is important to first identity the problem, dissect it, examine the options regarding to the possible solutions and putting the appropriate solution into effect (Jehn and Bendersky, 2003). Problem-solving skills could be important in solving the conflict pertaining myself and the room leader (Simons and Peterson, 2000). In the situation with the room leader, it is evident that when faced with a problem, I tend to enter into a panic mode which is not healthy. Analysing solution options is a skill that I am yet to master. Instead of just stepping back due to fear, the outcome might be different if I could just intercede and talk about the issue between the two of us before it could escalate. Although in the conflict situation with the room leader I tried to communicate my opinion, it was important for me to realise that conflict was inevitable due to differences in opinions and ideas. Instead of stepping back, if I used problem-solving skills during the conflict, I could have found the solution to the differing ideas and opinions regarding the best teaching strategy. The other interpersonal skill that could be effective in the conflict situation with the room leader is verbal communication skill. Verbal communication entails a number of other skills such as listening and questioning that are important in effective speaking. Effective verbal communication is characterised by clarity (Behfar et al., 2008). Clarity in verbal communication entails slowing down and speaking more considerately. A thoughtful person is able to pass message across that is likely to be accepted. Many people feel rushed to respond to an argument or question, but it is important to take time in consideration of the other person (Behfar et al., 2008). In addition, verbal communication also comprises of the ability to stay calm, focussed and polite in order to be able to match the mood of the situation (Behfar et al., 2008). It is how and what words are used during communication. Verbal communication involves treating the other with respect, listening attentively and correctly stating one’s views, needs and feelings. It is difficult to treat a person with respect in an event of conflict (Bono et al., 2002). For conflict to be resolved, it is important to work at looking beyond the difficulties and extend the other with respect. It is also important to listen carefully the needs of the other person and at the same time express one’s needs in order to create trust and openness. In the conflict situation with the room leader, I needed to have effective verbal communication skills in order to prevent conflict from escalating. First, i should have been honest with the room leader and state my views and needs irrespective of the disagreement that may occur. Being afraid to express my opinions could damage the possibility of establishing the best learning strategies for children. It is wrong to make assumptions. I made the assumption that if I asserted my feelings and opinions, there would be negative confrontation. Effective verbal communication means that if one is unsure of the other person’s response or actions, it is important to just ask. I needed verbal communication in order to be able to talk about differences and problems using reasonable calm tone. Part 2 Introduction Assertiveness is the most important interpersonal skill that would help me solve the conflict between myself and the room leader. It is the ability to express one’s opinions, thoughts and ideas while considering the rights of others (Bishop, 2010). Acting assertively could be one of the best possible skills that I could use in order to communicate with the room leader during our disagreement. Assertiveness is important since it ensures an individual expresses his thoughts and feelings effectively. When people are not assertive, they tend to lose their confidence and self-esteem. They are unable to express their opinions openly without any fear (Costa and McCrae, 2008). Being assertive is important since it help a person improve the confidence level and self-esteem. Another reason why assertiveness is considered important is due to its ability to assist a person understand and recognize his or her feelings in order to express them effectively. Therefore, being assertive helps a person earn other’s respect (Costa and McCrae, 2008). In addition, assertiveness is important in the professional life. Complex and challenging situations in the workplace requires an assertive leader. An assertive leader is able to handle situations in the workplace in an appropriate way (Costa and McCrae, 2008). Assertiveness is able to raise the level of self-worth, decrease anxiety and shyness during interpersonal communication. Assertive people tend to have high self-worth and their needs, opinions, ideas and feelings are able to be respected and fulfilled (Vagos and Pereira, 2010). Also, assertive people are able to initiate and maintain pleasing interpersonal relationships in the social context. In the previous conflict, I did well in communicating respectfully with the room leader. I tried to put my point across with regard to the best management strategy for child’s challenging behaviour. I did not lose temper or disrespect the opinion of the room leader. However, after the room leader objected my opinion, I failed to step forward and speak up to avoid conflict escalation. I was unable to communicate my feelings and opinions due to fear of saying the wrong thing and of initiating negative conversation. If I used assertiveness effectively, I could have made good decisions (Costa and McCrae, 2008). Various studies have established that there is a difference in personality traits between assertive and non-assertive people (Peneva and Mavrodiev, 2013). Non-assertive people tend to be more approval seeking, submissive, as well as defensive compared to assertive people. I was more approval seeking which inhibited me from putting my point across. In order to use assertiveness to effectively communicate, there are a number of factors I need to improve and do better. For instance, I need to eliminate the fear of saying the wrong thing and causing negative conversation. I need to understand that, association between two people is bound to be affected by conflict. Therefore, disclosing my opinions and ideas does not prevent conflict but rather it escalates it. Expressing my opinions respectfully regardless of the situation is the best way to go in achieving good result. Literature Review The study of assertiveness started in the 20th century during the study of clinical practices. It was believed that non-assertiveness was the reason for many mental illnesses and in order to treat them, researchers suggested the implementation of programs that ensured the development of assertiveness (Lloyd, 2001). Assertive individuals are characterised by qualities such as emotionality of speech, impulsive actions, and expressiveness of speech among others. Consequently, people who lack assertiveness lack the ability to set and maintain boundary with other people. They internalize tension and experience feelings and emotions such as depression, anxiety, fatigue and fear. Non-assertiveness takes place when an individual permits his boundaries to be restricted (Lloyd, 2001). The research study concerning assertiveness led to several association phenomena including conflict management, effective communication skills and self-confidence. The model of assertiveness is considered the foundation of these concepts. Peneva and Mavrodiev (2013) examined the effects of teaching assertiveness to students in a class setting. The research study was based on a quasi-experimental design that involved pre and post-test measurement. The results indicated that teaching assertiveness is important since it teaches students to be able to openly express their interests, ideas and emotions while at the same time showing respect for others Peneva and Mavrodiev (2013). Assertiveness is also linked to self-esteem since individuals with high self-esteem interact sincerely and naturally during conversations. Deltsidou (2008) examined assertiveness in nurse students. He considered assertiveness to have clear meaning when defined in relation to some indicators including autonomy and authenticity. The research study entailed an assertiveness scale that was used to measure assertiveness in relationships. The research concluded that since nurses interact more often with patients and other colleagues, good assertive communication is required (Deltsidou, 2008). Assertiveness is an important concept in counselling and sociology since it assists in dealing with issues in individuals features needed in different roles in the society (Deltsidou, 2008). Research has shown that courage, confidence, autonomy and authenticity are important indicators of assertiveness. There is a widespread body of literature covering the concept of assertiveness. Most literatures consider assertiveness as a combination of traits that ensures a person acts in his and others best interest and stand for themselves by respecting the rights of other people. Abbassi and Singh (2006) gave out the meaning of assertiveness in the similar way through a research study referred to as “Assertive as Communication Competence”. According to the study, there is a profound variation between a person’s attitudes towards showing assertiveness. The study highlighted that assertive skill is situational and circumstantial as it varies from one circumstance or situation to another depending on issue such as gender. Lizarraga et al. (2003) investigated the different levels of assertiveness in conflict situations. According to his study, assertive communication competence is a desirable behaviour for every individual who interact with other people since it influences people to be powerful and empowered and ultimately benefits interactive situations (Lizarraga et al., 2003). People make distinctive prediction of the implications of a specific behaviour that go hand in hand with the theories of personalities that affirms that outcomes expectances outline people’s behaviours. Therefore, it can be said that assertiveness is the result of the expectancies from people. This means that people who expect high levels of assertiveness to be damaging may be more concerned with conserving and reinstating relationships (Peneva and Mavrodiev, 2013). Ames (2008) has explained that assertiveness is not just a character. It is a combination of behaviours that are witnessed in an individual during interpersonal context. An individual with behaviour characterised by anxiety, shyness and fear lacks assertiveness. He or she is unable to express his or her feelings, opinions and ideas during an interpersonal interaction. Assertive behaviour is able to be learnt and vary from situation to situation (Ames, 2008). In order for an individual to acquire assertive behaviour, assertive training is required. Assertive training entails equipping people with the skills to be able to deal with difficult situations with confidence and autonomy without violating the rights of others. Assertive training increases positive response to interpersonal situations, increases confidence and self-esteem and equips an individual with courage and bravery (Ames, 2008). In order to be able to deal with conflict situations, assertiveness is required. Without it, it is impossible to resolve conflict situations (Milne, 2011). Many people are unable to differentiate between being aggressive and being assertive. The difference between the two lies on how words and actions affect the rights of others. Knippenberg and Hogg (2003) highlight that conflict between two or more people often arise due to lack assertiveness. In a conflict situation, assertiveness can be termed as the act of saying “No” politely without hurting other people. Assertion creates a win-win situation in an event of conflict. Assertive behaviour plays well in the long run as it can result to conflict-free life. Research study indicates that about 80 per cent of problems in the workplace are caused by improper communication (Judge, Piccolo and Ilies, 2004). In order to have effective communication skills, assertiveness is required. When people communicate assertively, the information conveyed is able to be carried forward effectively and smoothly without hurting other people’s feelings and rights (Judge, Piccolo and Ilies, 2004). Successful leaders in the past used assertiveness as a means of solving conflict and uniting people. For instance, leaders such as Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King and Winston Churchill can be considered symbols of assertive quality. These leaders were successful since they never compromised their principles and beliefs but at the same time they respected the rights of other people. Martin Luther king was successful in fighting for the rights of black people, Winston Churchill was influential in winning World War II and Mahatma Ghandi led to freedom of people in India (Judge, Piccolo and Ilies, 2004). From these cases, it is evident that assertiveness is an important pillar for effective communication and leadership. In managing and resolving conflict, different people respond differently. Some people tend to avoid or withdraw from conflict due to lack of confidence while others strike back with aggression (Judge et al., 2002). Other people prefer to think logically and try to look at a situation in different perspective. These people are considered assertive. Since people are naturally different, they tend to have different means of solving conflict. In submissive style, individuals withdraw from conflict and suffer the pain silently. On the other hand, in aggressive style, individual impose pain on others by creating a tit for tat scenario (Peneva and Mavrodiev, 2013). While in assertion style, individuals stand for what they believe in but at the same time strike a fine balance by respecting the rights of others. According to Hofmann et al. (2004), when people suppress their feeling for a long time, they tend to create volcano situation and may explode eventually. This happens since they fail to assert their feelings, ideas and principles. On the other hand, when people constantly dictate other unmindfully, they end up being disliked and often create conflict. Such people are a threat to peace and harmony (Hofmann et al., 2004). One theory that illustrates the importance and application of assertiveness is assertion theory. According to assertion theory, every person has a right that allows them to have assertive skills (Peneva and Mavrodiev, 2013). The theory offers different types of assertiveness including passive behaviour, manipulative behaviour, aggression as well as aggression behaviour. Assertiveness is witnessed in interpersonal context in both verbal and non-verbal communication. The theory argues that not every person has assertive trait. Nevertheless, an individual is able to acquire it since there comes a time in life where the trait comes in handy. Assertion theory is considered a behavioural model that promotes personal rights without compromising the rights of others (Peneva and Mavrodiev, 2013). Assertion theory is founded on the principle that people naturally allow their rights to be constrained or tend to intrude upon people’s rights. It is difficult for an individual to strike a balance between being non-assertive and aggressive. The theory argues that for the rights of all parties to be respected and maintained, it is important to identify the emotional, verbal as well as non-verbal signals (Peneva and Mavrodiev, 2013). Many people often fall in the category of being either non-assertive or aggressive. People often fail to solve conflict or live a peaceful and harmonious life due to non-assertiveness or aggression (Peneva and Mavrodiev, 2013). Non-assertiveness means passiveness and submission to agreement of other people by disregarding one’s feelings and ideas. Fehr and Fischbacher (2004) argues that a passive person often agree with particularly everything regardless of his or her feelings. On the other hand, aggression is behaviour where an individual fail to consider the feelings of others. When using aggression to solve conflicts, it is impossible to reach an agreement since in most cases the victims often present an aggressive or passive response (Peneva and Mavrodiev, 2013). In order to find balance between passiveness and aggression, it is important to take into consideration the feelings of others and of yourself. According to Brett et al. (2007), assertion correlates with emotions. The amount of assertion given is dependent on the emotion expressed. In addition, assertiveness is often expressed through verbal and non-verbal behaviour. This means that an assertive person can be determined by the behaviour he or she shows during interpersonal communication (Peneva and Mavrodiev, 2013). Assertive people are able to communicate a massage without upsetting other people. Assertiveness is an important element in verbal and non-verbal communication as it allows an individual express feelings and ideas appropriately and successfully. Assertiveness is a balance between passive and aggressive behaviour. Peneva and Mavrodiev (2013) argue that without assertiveness, it is impossible to communicate effectively. What I currently do well With regard to assertiveness, I do well by not letting myself be influenced by other’s opinions. What I do is try to look at a person’s opinions and ideas objectively and unbiased but stick to what I believe is right. According to Ames (2008), an assertive person is not influenced by other people’s opinions. In addition, I often accept when I make a mistake which reflects my magnanimity. Nobody is perfect. I may make mistakes but I always bounce back and accept the consequences of the same. This makes me non-aggressive and tends to amplify my assertiveness. One of my strength is assertive communication. Assertive communication refers to the respect for boundaries and the realization that to fulfil a need or want, people need to cooperate (Peneva and Mavrodiev, 2013). In my communication with others, I often respect the boundaries of others by speaking respectfully even in transcended situations. I am good at keeping calm even during complex situations and I express myself in a way that will not spiral into aggression. Additionally, I am good at maintaining and initiating good and confortable relationships with other people. I am also willing to compromise with others. I realize that I am not always right and thus I give the other person a chance to express his opinions before making critical decisions. Another thing I do well when it comes to assertiveness is not making things personal. When I disagree with a person about a concept, I do not base the discussion or disagreement on the person but the concept. This gives me an upper hand at dealing with conflict situations. Respect drives all my relationships in my professional and personal life. The way I listen and speak, my selection of words and the tone of my voice when I speak set me aside from being aggressive. Peneva and Mavrodiev (2013) hightlighted that an individual who uses aggressive style to deal with conflict is unable to yield positive results. I try to reason with people without creating any feuds through treating people with respect especially during conflict situations. In most instances, the same respect is extended back to me. Although I tend to back off and enclose my feelings and opinions in an event of strong objection, I try to express my ideas honestly taking into consideration the rights of other people. Ames (2008) agrees that expressing ones opinions respectfully and leaving room for compromises makes an individual assertive. One personality trait that differentiates myself from many people is being process-oriented person. I take pleasure from working with others in solving problem and looking for solutions. I put my focus more on the process rather than the task in question. I have the skills of building relationships and offering personal support during conflict resolution. Brett et al.(2007) argues that an assertive person is able to speak out his or her opinions and believes that can still be able to maintain good relationship with the other person. When a challenge has been resolved, I tend to take a step back and check whether the other party is happy with the process. Often at time I act on my best interest and express personal feelings but at the same time give a chance to others to express theirs. Bishop (2010) has highlighted that one characteristic of an assertive person is the ability to show gratitude and being grateful. I currently express appreciation for others for good work they do. What I need to do better According to Lloyed (2001), there is a counter relationship between assertiveness and social anxiety. Fear of negative evaluation is one of the causes that affect an individual’s ability to be assertive and result to social anxiety. I often have anxiety about being negatively evaluated in my social and professional life that affects my assertiveness. Due to my fear of disapproval, I often think that when I speak my mind, I would be negatively evaluated by others and this leads to me avoiding evaluative situations. I fail to assert myself in social contexts due to my interpersonal anxiety and fear of saying the wrong thing. This according to Ames (2008) may lead to negative result in an event of a conflict. In addition, one personality trait that I have that often restricts me from communicating openly is shyness. According to Ames (2008), shyness is termed as a person’s reaction of discomfort in the presence of strangers or friends. He argues that shyness is inversely related to assertiveness. One area that I need to change in order to enhance my assertiveness is being tense in the presence of others. Although I am able to speak openly in a group of people I am familiar with, I need to teach myself to be confident enough among strangers or acquaintances. Due to my fear of disapproval and social anxiety, I need to work on overcoming my anxiety and increase my self-acceptance in order to be more assertive and handle and manage conflict situations. Lizarraga et al. (2003) concluded that assertive communication is a desirable behaviour for every individual who interact with other people. Working on my anxiety will increase my assertiveness. In addition, I tend to suppress my feelings and opinions in the event of a harsh disapproval. Studies suggests that when an indivudal supresses opinions and ideas due to fear and anxiety, it may lead to volcano situation which can explode with time (Deltsidou, 2008). At times, submission affects my moods and results to depression. In order to ensure success in solving conflict, i need to acquire assertive skill which will assist me express myself effectively and stand for what I believe is right without being aggressive. Assertive skill boosts confidence and self-esteem of a person (Deltsidou, 2008). When an individual has asserted his or her opinions clearly, it is possible to avoid negative conversations (Peneva and Mavrodiev, 2013). In an event of a disagreement, each party is often focussed on getting the other person to agree which can result to negative conversation. Therefore, in order to express my opinions clearly and respectfully, I need to change this assumption from agreement to understanding (Peneva and Mavrodiev, 2013). It would be important to first understand the position of the room leader before arguing for a solution. The main goal should be to find solution and not to change the other person’s minds. In doing this, I need to be open to compromise but ready to openly express my beliefs and opinions. Ames (2008) highlights that an important characteristic of an assertive person is readiness to compromise. I need to express my feeling by focusing on the action and not the room leader as the problem. Moreover, I need to avoid acting in a passive manner when the situation becomes challenging or during harsh responses. Passive behaviour has been reported to be associated with depression and does not solve conflict but escalates it (Peneva and Mavrodiev, 2013). I should not often comply with the wishes of others without considering my own feelings. I tend to place greater weight on the feelings and opinions of people with authority. However, I have learnt that I need to be open about my feelings and ideas even when faced with challenging situations. References Abbassi, A. and Singh, N. (2006). Assertiveness in Marital Relationship among Asians Indians In the United States. The Family Journal, 14(4): 392-398. Alberti, Robert E. & Emmons, Michael L. (2001). Your Perfect Right: Assertiveness and Equality in Your Life and Relationships. London: Impact Publishers. Ames, D. R. (2008). Assertiveness expectancies: How hard people push depends on the consequences they predict. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95(6): 1541–1557. Behfar, K., Peterson, R., Mannix, E.,& Trochim, W. (2008). The critical role of conflict resolution in teams: A close look at the links between conflict type, conflict management strategies, and team outcomes. Journal of Applied Psychology, 93(1): 170–188. Bishop, S. (2010). Develop your assertiveness: Change your behavior; be more confident; get what you want. Kogan Page Ltd. Bono, J. E., Boles, T. L., Judge, T. A.,& Lauver, K. J. (2002). The role of personality in task and relationship conflict. Journal of Personality, 70(3): 311–344. Brett, J., Olekalns, M., Friedman, R., Goates, N., Anderson, C., & Lisco, C. C. (2007). Sticks and stones: Language, face and on-line dispute resolution. Academy of Management Journal, 50(1): 85–99. Costa, P. T., & McCrae, R. R. (2008). The NEO Inventories. In R. P. Archer, S. R. Smith, R. P. Archer, S. R. Smith (Eds.), Personality assessment (pp. 213-245). New York, NY US: Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Deltsidou A. (2008). Undergraduate Nursing Students; eve of Assertiveness in Greece: a Questionnaire Survey. Journal of Nursing Education In Practice, 9(2): 322-330. Fehr, E., & Fischbacher, U. (2004). Social norms and human cooperation. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 8(4): 185–190. Hofmann, S. G., Moscovitch, D. A., Kim, H., & Taylor, A. N. (2004). Changes in self-perception during treatment of social phobia. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 72(4): 588–596. Jehn, K. A., & Bendersky, C. (2003). Intragroup conflict in organizations: A contingency perspective on the conflict outcome relationship. Research in Organizational Behavior, 25: 187–242. Judge, T. A., Bono, J. E., Ilies, R. & Gerhardt, M.W. (2002). Personality and leadership: A qualitative and quantitative review. Applied Psychology, 87(4): 765–780. Judge, T. A., Piccolo, R. F., & Ilies, R. (2004). The forgotten ones?: A re-examination of consideration, initiating structure, and leadership effectiveness. Journal of Applied Psychology, 89(1): 36–51. Knippenberg, D. & Hogg, M. A. (2003). A social identity model of leadership effectiveness in organizations. Research in Organizational Behavior, 25: 243–295. DOI: 10.1016/S0191-3085(03)25006-1 Lizarraga M, Ugarte M. Cardelle-Elawar, Uriarte M, and Baquedano M. (2003). Enhancement of Self-Regulation, Assertiveness, and Empathy. Journal of Learning and Instruction, 13(4): 423-439. Lloyd, Sam, R. (2001). Developing Positive Assertiveness: Practical Techniques for Personal Success. Viiva: London. Milne P. E. (2011). The People Skills Revolution: A Step-by-Step Approach to Developing Sophisticated People Skills. Global Professional Publishing. Peneva, I. and Mavrodiev (2013). A Historical Approach to Assertiveness. The Journal of Psychology Thought, 6(1): 3-26. Simons, T.L. & Peterson, R.S. (2000). Task conflict and relationship conflict in top management teams: The pivotal role of intragroup trust. Journal of Applied Psychology, 85(1): 102–111. Vagos, P., & Pereira, A. (2010). A proposal for evaluating cognition in assertiveness. Psychological Assessment, 22(3): 657-665. Read More

Stepping back and being passive was not the best way to go. I may have adopted the passive response due to the need to avoid negative conversation and as a result of fear of confrontation. In order to be able to solve the conflict with the room leader, problem-solving skills could be important. A problem-solving skill is an important skill since interpersonal challenges are common in the social and work context. It is the ability to solve a problem after a considerable thinking and evaluation (Simons and Peterson, 2000).

It is not how quickly one solves a problem, but how a person goes about it. In order to be successful in solving problems, it is important to first identity the problem, dissect it, examine the options regarding to the possible solutions and putting the appropriate solution into effect (Jehn and Bendersky, 2003). Problem-solving skills could be important in solving the conflict pertaining myself and the room leader (Simons and Peterson, 2000). In the situation with the room leader, it is evident that when faced with a problem, I tend to enter into a panic mode which is not healthy.

Analysing solution options is a skill that I am yet to master. Instead of just stepping back due to fear, the outcome might be different if I could just intercede and talk about the issue between the two of us before it could escalate. Although in the conflict situation with the room leader I tried to communicate my opinion, it was important for me to realise that conflict was inevitable due to differences in opinions and ideas. Instead of stepping back, if I used problem-solving skills during the conflict, I could have found the solution to the differing ideas and opinions regarding the best teaching strategy.

The other interpersonal skill that could be effective in the conflict situation with the room leader is verbal communication skill. Verbal communication entails a number of other skills such as listening and questioning that are important in effective speaking. Effective verbal communication is characterised by clarity (Behfar et al., 2008). Clarity in verbal communication entails slowing down and speaking more considerately. A thoughtful person is able to pass message across that is likely to be accepted.

Many people feel rushed to respond to an argument or question, but it is important to take time in consideration of the other person (Behfar et al., 2008). In addition, verbal communication also comprises of the ability to stay calm, focussed and polite in order to be able to match the mood of the situation (Behfar et al., 2008). It is how and what words are used during communication. Verbal communication involves treating the other with respect, listening attentively and correctly stating one’s views, needs and feelings.

It is difficult to treat a person with respect in an event of conflict (Bono et al., 2002). For conflict to be resolved, it is important to work at looking beyond the difficulties and extend the other with respect. It is also important to listen carefully the needs of the other person and at the same time express one’s needs in order to create trust and openness. In the conflict situation with the room leader, I needed to have effective verbal communication skills in order to prevent conflict from escalating.

First, i should have been honest with the room leader and state my views and needs irrespective of the disagreement that may occur. Being afraid to express my opinions could damage the possibility of establishing the best learning strategies for children. It is wrong to make assumptions. I made the assumption that if I asserted my feelings and opinions, there would be negative confrontation. Effective verbal communication means that if one is unsure of the other person’s response or actions, it is important to just ask.

I needed verbal communication in order to be able to talk about differences and problems using reasonable calm tone. Part 2 Introduction Assertiveness is the most important interpersonal skill that would help me solve the conflict between myself and the room leader.

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