How a Person Should Be - Essay Example

How a Person Should Be? Everyone has a different view of how a person should be. These often contradictory and complementary views form as a result a person’s cultural and religious background. His environment and his upbringing by his parents also play an important role in shaping a persons’ perception of how his behavior should be. The society around us is divided into a number of sections in regards to religion and culture. There, lives within our society, a variety of religions including Jews, Hindus, Christians, Muslims, etc. All of these religious present a different picture of an ideal person but there is one similarity among all religions. These religions aim to raise a responsible and good human being. None of the religious would, for example, propagate murder or thievery. Though, the way of achieving this ideal person is different, the aim is the same. Often among these contradictory views, we are confused on how to become the ideal person for everyone. The perception of our parents and often those of moral philosophers are shaped by the religion that they follow. Muslim parents would raise their parents in the Islamic way while Jewish parents would want their children to uphold the Jewish ideals. Even if people around us reject religion, they follow a certain moral philosopher or leader to define how a person should be raised. When I take into consideration all these views, I am often overwhelmed by these ideals. During my high school days, this overwhelming feeling often crowded out my thoughts. I was unable to decide who to follow. Incidentally both of my parents had different views about what kind of a person I should be. Since I loved my parents and other people around me who wanted to define the ideal for me, I was unable to decide how to become the ideal person for everyone. The question was how could I satisfy the ideal me for everyone around me? This question developed a rebellious streak in me and I believe this happens to many people today. When this happens, children often begin to do completely the opposite of what is expected of them. If their parents want them to excel in studies, they go out of the way to flunk in their subjects. Though, my case never went this bad, I was able to reconcile the ideals of the different people surrounding me. I was able to do this because of one of my teachers who sat down with me and explained that every one of the people who have expectations with me wants me to be a better person. They love me and feel responsible for me. In such cases, the better person conforms to their own perception of the ideal person. When I was given this assignment, I recalled these incidences and felt that this assignment would help me understand this concept further. To further understand what people expect from other, I met with different kinds of people including my own parents to understand their ideals of what a person should be like. In this paper, I will present the main points of these differing people by discussing their own opinions and views. I will begin with my father. My father is a liberal person. He does not strongly believe in any religion. He would rather advocate the benefits of science and technology rather than religion. Therefore, it is not surprising that he wants me to excel in life and attain the most of life. He wants me to get the best education and get into the field of technology; since according to him, it is the most rewarding field nowadays. He has always indulged in my interests of computers and all other things technology related. He wants me to attend the best university. All of my life, my father expected me to excel in studies. He kept a check on my academic performance and was quick to reprimand in case I did not do so well. It was probably these high expectations from my father that forced me to rebel during my high school days. However, it was my mother, who prevented me from going over the edge. She became a source of strength for me. My mother, in all of this, loved me and encouraged me to be my own self. She always argued with my father over the fact that my father could not guide my future. It was my mother who encouraged me to explore different views on life. She opened my eyes to the diversity around me. She asked me to appreciate the different people in my life and to make friends with all kinds of people. It may seem to everyone that my mother had no expectations from me. But this was not entirely true. Her perception of what I should be was not something concerning my future. However, it concerned of what kind of a person I should be morally and in my personal life. My mother’s insistence of making friends with people from different cultures led me to develop a friendship with a Muslim Girl. Though, she was not a typical Muslim, her many beliefs were still very Islamic. She did many things differently than most people did. For example, she had never drunk even a glass of wine in her life because Alcohol is forbidden in Islam. One day while discussing the difference in the way we lived, she commented that was not opposed to my religion but rather accepted it as part of her own religion. Her thought on the different ideals was what stuck with me till now. She commented that when her Allah set Jesus, the people were living in a very strict society. They lived by the rules of their rulers and their hearts were very hard. Jesus was sent to spread the message of God and to soften their hearts. He propagated love and peace among the people. He did not enforce many laws and regulation; he even did not enforce any rule regarding marriage. The society continued to live without any rules but with the advent of Islam rules were invented. This was done to raise the perfect society where love was propagated but so was a limit was defined to teach people the right way from the wrong way. While I do not completely agree with this view, I learned something else from this. While people around us want us to be different people all the time, we also have our own identity. It is because we love the people who expect different things from us, we continue to live up to their expectations. Often this happens to such an extent we forget our own identity and continue to mirror the life of our loved one’s expectations. Sometimes, we do not even realize that this happening within us. When we do, we often forget what we ourselves wanted to do with our lives. In my case, I was lucky that this did not happen. I was able to pull back and give shape to my own expectations. I also realize that because I love and value my parents, my family and my friends, I will continue to live up to their expectations also. But it is important that I develop a balance on who I want to be and who my parents want me to be. I may not become a computer person but I would pursue higher education as my father expects me to. I would, however, choose my own career. Also I may drink alcohol when I want but I would choose not to drink it in front of my Muslim friends. Here I would cite Peter Singer who asserts through his Utilitarian Philosophy that the consequences of the actions define whether an act is right or wrong (Singer, 60). Similarly, since the consequence of my action would satisfy both my parents and others around me, I believe that my act is right. I aim to satisfy everyone to a certain extent but in that process I am not losing my identity. In all of this, I understand that I will never be the idealized version of one person. I cannot truly satisfy my father and neither my mother. However, what is more important is that I do not forget me identity. While I continue to love my mother and my father, I will try to become a little like their ideal person but I will strive to keep my own identity alive. Work Cited Singer, Peter, The Singer Solution to World Poverty, NY: The New York Times Magazine, Sept. 5, 1999, pp. 60-63 Read More