Against Cohabitation of Couples as a Prelude To Marriage - Research Paper Example

Against Cohabitation of Couples as a Prelude To Marriage Introduction The term cohabitation is used to refer to an intimate relationship in which two individuals belonging to opposite sex or same sex spend life together under one roof while sharing sensual as well as expressive intimacy without entering into the legal institution of marriage. There are major differences between the concept of cohabitation and marriage and similarly there are even differences between the laws and philosophies governing these two intimate relationships. Cohabitation is not a new phenomenon and it has been practiced for several years. But the perception that stakeholders held regarding cohabitation have altered overtime and due to changes in these perceptions the prevalence rate of cohabitation have even changed. People have started giving preference to cohabitation over marriage due to several reasons including perceived financial, psychological and social benefits. Furthermore, there are several reasons due to which the ending of marriages as well as cohabitation has elevated including lack of satisfaction in both relationships, weak nature of relationship in case of cohabitation, lack of emotional attachment and legally bindings rules in cohabitation and several others. There has been a major debate regarding whether cohabitation is a much stronger relationship as compared to marriage and whether cohabitation can replace traditional marriages. Both sides have their own arguments to support their positions, but thorough research that has been carried out for several years oppose the idea of cohabitation replacing marriages. Cohabitation cannot be considered as an alternative to marriage due to various reasons including the negative effects cohabitation for partners as well as children, the low success rates of cohabitation and the difficulties experienced by single parents. Body Difference Between Marriage And Cohabitation The rate at which people are opting to cohabitation has escalated dramatically and this has led to the debate of the difference between the relationships of marriage and living together without marriage. One of the major differences between marriage and cohabitation is the legal treatment received by people in both these relationships. For example according to laws of Scotland, if separation between cohabitation couples take place, the judge can only award a small amount of capital to the spouse. But in case of a divorce, the Scottish law even allows the judge to award properties and imbursement to the spouses (Miles 169). Living together without marriage is being considered by the members of the society as an alternative to marriage and in certain instances it is considered as the time that couples spend together and due to this time they end up getting married. On the other hand, there is ample amount of similarity between the two relationships. This is because the purpose and the desire for entering both these relationships are quite similar. The reasons include sharing and satisfying need for sexual affairs as well as sharing a roof to live in (Botha 434). Another notable difference between the two forms of relationships is that cohabitation is considered as a short term relationship and has lower value associated with it. This is because almost all cohabiting couples aim at getting married to each other and due to this marriage has been assigned the status of gold by society members (Baker 254). Past And Present Of Marriage And Cohabitation The perception and the importance of different stakeholders for both marriage as well as cohabitation have changed. Cohabitation has existed within the society for several years but in its initial periods it was considered more of a criminal activity. Popenoe states that back in the 1970s the relationship of cohabitation was not a commonly practiced relationship and was considered as an illegal practice and only 10% of couples entered in such a relationship (Popenoe 429). As the time passed, the relationship started gaining popularity and the number of people living in such relationships increased unprecedentedly. Popenoe identified that by the middle of the year of 2000, the number of people cohabitating started increasing and more than 59% of the couples residing in New Zealand were in such a relationship (Popenoe 430). On one end the society has witnessed an increase in the rate of cohabitating couples and on the other hand the society has experienced decline in number of marriages and increase in number of divorces. In past marriage was considered as the only ethical and legal manner for two couples to live together. Popenoe identified that the number of divorces taking place has increased and so has the number of individuals who remain unmarried for a longer period of time. Popenoe states that within a period of 10 years the rate of divorce in the region of United States among females who aged more than 15 was 19.8/1000 females during the period of 1995 and 16.4/1000 females (Popenoe 433). At the same time more than 50/1000 females who aged more than 15 remained unmarried during 1995 and during 2000 the figure was 40/1000 females. Separation And Divorce Between Cohabiting and Married Couples The cohabiting couples have two future pathways that they are most likely to follow. Either these couples end up distancing themselves from each other which is similar to divorces that take place in marriage or these couples end up getting married. The rate of separation among cohobating couples has elevated which is quite similar to the case of divorce. Lixia has identified that during the 1990s, the rate of separations taking place between cohabiting couples have elevated to 38% (Lixia 588). Lixia has even reported the length of time these couples spend together before ultimately separating from each and that length of time has even declined. Lixia states that the length of time that these couples used to live together have decreased from 3.8 years as recorded during 1970s to 2.8 years as recorded during 1990s (Lixia 587). The reasons that lead to divorce among married couples and the reasons that lead to separation between cohabiting couples is quite similar. The main reason, as a result of which cohabiting couples separate is that they experience discontent from their relationship. Lixia conducted a study in which she identified that females were more likely to experience discontent in such a relationship. Lixia states that more than 14% of female participants of her study who were in cohabitation experienced discontent from their relationships and due to this the couples separated from each other (Lixia 593). Reasons Due To Which Cohabitation Is On A Rise There are various factors that are resulting in an increase in the rate of couples entering into a cohabitation relationship. Sharon has authored an article in which she has cited a study that was conducted by PEW research and the research states that many couples who age between 30 and 44 and are educated, start living together without getting marriage due to the monetary benefits associated with such a relation (Sharon 1). Several couples even start living in such a relationship in order to gain sexual and domestic advantages associated with it without taking too much responsibility which they might have to take if they were married. Ridley states in a study that male students who are in their freshmen year of education start a cohabitation relationship in order to benefit from the luxuries that are offered by domestic living and in order to attain sexual pleasure on continuous basis (Ridley 1). The main reason due to which adults or young adults start such a relationship, because they believe that such a relationship is a trial marriage. They believe that such a relationship can help in predicting success of future marriage (Jose 106). A major reason due to which couples are selecting this relationship over marriage is that they believe that marriage can restrict them from attaining certain goals as a marriage is more demanding than cohabitation. Due to this they start living together without getting married in order to focus on their career goals and alongside they want to enjoy the benefits that are offered by a marriage (Baker 256). Negative Impact On Children As A Result Of Separation From Cohabitation Bearing and raising children is one of the reasons due to which couples start living together without getting marriage. But the impact on children caused due to separation of cohabiting couples is much devastating as compared to children whose parents experience a divorce. Another major issue with cohabitation is that the separation of couples in such a relationship is quite high even when such couples have children. Popenoe cites a study that was conducted in the region of Norway and the study identified that children living with cohabiting parents are twice more likely to experience separation of their parents as compared to children who live with married couples (Popenoe 433). One of the major negative consequences experienced by children of those couples who were living together without marriage is that these children experience psychological issues. Popenoe cites a study that was conducted during the period of 2003 in the region of Sweden and the study states that children belonging to separated cohabiting parents are likely to experience psychological issues such as alcohol addiction, substance abuse and suicidal thoughts (Popenoe 435). Children belonging to separated cohabiting parents are even more likely to live with their mothers who might be experiencing socioeconomic issues and due to this the developmental needs of the child may not be fulfilled. Popenoe cites a Norwegian study that states that children belonging to separated cohabiting couples are likely to live in weak socio economic backgrounds and it is quite likely that these children are going to live with step brothers and sisters (Popenoe 435). Negative consequences including psychological and socioeconomic issues may have a multiplier effect and children belonging to single parent families may end up indulging in criminal behavior. Popenoe cites a study that was conducted in Britain that identified that around 70% of criminals are those who fall in the age bracket of youths and who belong to single parents (Popenoe 435). Negativities Of Cohabitation One of the reasons why Cohabitation cannot be replaced by marriages as an intimate relationship between couples is that these relationships do not last for a longer period of time. Those involved in a cohabiting relationship can either opt to continue to live together without getting married, get married after a certain period of cohabitation time or separate from each other. The idea that cohabitation can result in stronger marriages or can lead to marriage is quite vague. This is because most of the cohabiting couples separate from each other. According to the research conducted by Lixia, 17% of those couples that were living in a cohabitation relationship during the period of 2001 separated from each other by the period of 2003 and only 14% of couples who were cohabiting during the year of 2001 got married to each other by the period of 2003 (Lixia 593). Couples who even get married after living in a cohabiting relationship for quite a long period of time do not end up into a successful married life and many of these marriages end up in divorces. The rate of separation amongst cohabiting couples is quite high because of dissatisfaction and discontent experienced by couples in these relationships. Popenoe states that there is lack of proper interpersonal commitment between couples who live together without getting marriage and this is the main reason why such couples breakup (Popenoe 433). He even states that couples in such relationships even experience lack of identity as a couple that is experienced by married couples and are not ready to sacrifice their own desires and they do not even have a desire to end up in a relationship that lasts for a longer period of time (Popenoe 433). One of the reasons due to which there is lack of commitment in such relationships is that most of the couples who enter in such relationship do not give birth to children. Children are an important segment that makes a marriage stronger and since there are no children involved in cohabiting relationships, the strength of the relationship is even week. According to the people surveyed by Baker, one of the participants stated that commitment in both relationships including marriage and cohabitation increases due to child birth (Baker 263). A major issue with cohabitation is that if children are born in such relationships and if couples in such relationships separate, one of the couples which is usually the mother ends up becoming a lone-parent. Lone-parenting is a term used to refer to the burden of raising a child that is bared by one of the couples after they have separated or have obtained a divorce. According to Popenoe, around 80% of children during the 10 year period starting from 1991 and ending during 2001 were living with a single parent (Popenoe 434). Children as well as parents in single parent families experience various issues including psychological, socioeconomic and personality related issues experienced by both parents and children. Conclusion Cohabitation cannot be considered as a basis of marriage because of several factors. One of the main reason is that most of the couples in Cohabitation separate from each other and do not get married and many of those who get married do not last with a longer relationship. Separation of cohabiting couples is more common that divorce of married couples because of lack of commitment between the couples in such relationships. Many individuals choose cohabitation over marriage because they do not want to have children and not having children is a major reason due to which commitment in cohabitation is relatively low. On the other hand, commitment in marriages increases as a result of children. Many cohabiting couples even end up having a child, but most of these couples even end their relationships even after having children. Due to this children are left with single parent families or lone-parents. Children raised in single parent families are more likely to experience psychological issues such as substance abuse; they live in weak socioeconomic backgrounds and even indulge in deviant behavior. Works Cited Baker, Maureen, and Vivienne Elizabeth. "Tying The Knot: The Impact Of Formalization After Long-Term Cohabitation." Journal Of Family Studies 19.3 (2013): 254-266. Academic Search Premier. Web. 19 Nov. 2014. Botha, Ferdi, and Frikkie Booysen. "The Gold Of One's Ring Is Not Far More Precious Than The Gold Of One's Heart: Reported Life Satisfaction Among Married And Cohabitating South African Adults." Journal Of Happiness Studies 14.2 (2013): 433-456. Academic Search Premier. Web. 19 Nov. 2014. Jose, Anita, K. Daniel O'leary, and Anne Moyer. "Does Premarital Cohabitation Predict Subsequent Marital Stability and Marital Quality? A Meta-Analysis." Journal Of Marriage & Family 72.1 (2010): 105-116. Academic Search Premier. Web. 13 Nov. 2014. Lixia, Qu, Ruth Weston, and David de Vaus. "Cohabitation And Beyond: The Contribution Of Each Partner's Relationship Satisfaction And Fertility Aspirations To Pathways Of Cohabiting Couples." Journal Of Comparative Family Studies 40.4 (2009): 587-601. Academic Search Premier. Web. 19 Nov. 2014. Miles, Jo, Fran Wasoff, and Enid Mordaunt. "Reforming Family Law – The Case Of Cohabitation: ‘Things May Not Work Out As You Expect’." Journal Of Social Welfare & Family Law 34.2 (2012): 167-177. Academic Search Premier. Web. 19 Nov. 2014. Popenoe, David. "Cohabitation, Marriage, And Child Wellbeing: A Cross-National Perspective." Society 46.5 (2009): 429-436. Academic Search Premier. Web. 19 Nov. 2014. Ridley, Carl A., Dan J. Peterman, and Arthur W. Avery. "Cohabitation: Does It Make For A Better Marriage?." Family Coordinator 27.2 (1978): 129. Academic Search Premier. Web. 13 Nov. 2014. Sharon, Jayson, and TODAY USA. "Educated cohabiters have a higher household income." USAToday n.d.: Academic Search Premier. Web. 13 Nov. 2014. Read More