Fathering and Caring - Essay Example

Fathering and Caring Lecturer: Introduction According to Vuori (2009:45), “experts view motherhood as a societalduty and fatherhood as personal and elective”. Contemporary fatherhood is viewed from a feminist perspective as passive and hands-off. There is a tendency for the feminist activists to ignore the inherent character of women as primary care givers as emphasized by the exclusive mothering discourse. Fathers play an important role in the family as masculine players and they have a moral obligation to support the mother and child not by playing the mother’s role but through fulfilling their duty as partners in parenting. This paper provides a critical analysis of gender studies in the area of fathering and caring. Fathering and Caring Gender differences in the society are entrenched in the early childhood development whereby socialization in boys and girls reflects their future roles as mothers and fathers. Girls begin learning from an early age to develop responsible nurturing tendencies and this experience is upheld up until motherhood. In contrast, the society moulds boys in to independent and competitive individuals that are expected to play the masculine role of providing for their families. The gender differences are also evident in the society’s expectations in different spheres of life including division of tasks in the workplace as ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’ depending on the amount of energy needed and the level of stress in the job. The generally accepted policies of caregiving also focus on the mother as the primary nurturer with women taking the largest portion of paid leave (Gerstel & Gallagher, 2001; Chesley, 2011). Both the shared parenting and the exclusive mothering discourses presented by Vuori (2009) supports the significance of men as fathers but the primary care of infants is considered to be under the realm of mothers by the latter. Practically, it is impossible for a man to offer all the needs of an infant as breastfeeding is exclusively a mother’s role. It is possible to establish a psychosocial relationship between fathers and children without unnecessarily compelling men to play the role of women. Maternity and paternity leaves need to be taken at the same time to allow both parents to play their distinct roles, whereby the father plays an important role in the recovery process of the woman and also ensuring that she is able to provide effectively to the needs of the baby. The society’s expectation of a father’s obligation in such an arrangement go beyond the biological role that father’s play in a family. Socio-cultural and historical practices of global societies align men’s roles with predominantly masculine constructions. Contemporary fatherhood comprises greater involvement in child care but whether or not the parenting is shared does not affect the mother’s role of primary care. This is an indicator of the secondary role of fathers in infant care as their involvement complements the mother’s role whose constant contact with the child must be maintained without failure. The contemporary society recognizes a ‘bad father’ as one who does not provide for the family regardless of whether both parents are working (Miller, 2011). Research indicates a growing tendency of ‘stay-at-home’ fathers. However, the reasons for staying at home are varied, mainly being lack of job opportunities while few report being at home to care for their children. In contrast most ‘stay-at-home’ women report involvement as the primary nurturers being the reason for remaining at home (Chesley, 2011). There exists a paradox in the feminists’ approach regarding the shared parenting discourse. In the situation where the man is the sole bread winner, the woman will be at ease to undertake the responsibility of the primary nurturer. However, the equality debate leading to inclusion of more women in formal employment has led to the pressure on fathers to be engaged more in basic infant care. This shift can therefore be attributed to the feminists’ endeavour to occupy the space that has been socially and historically been occupied by men. Consequently, this move generated a void previously occupied by women, which the feminists consider suitable for men. In other words, the society is compelled to undertake transformations that will remove men from their historical comfort zones to undertake tasks originally associated with femininity. Significant efforts have been made to engage women in formal employment as opposed to getting men to actively participate in caring for children. In agreement with the opinion-building campaigns, social policies in Nordic countries were formulated to enhance men’s participation in parenting, which included paid paternity leave. Nevertheless, men have not been fully able to utilise the benefits of the new right of leave mainly because of the uncertainty of the shared parenting discourse’s goal for the emergence of a ‘gender equal man’ (Johansson & Klinth, 2008). As practised in Finland, the freedom of choice is necessary as it enhances willingness of fathers to participate in setting up strategies for child care, even as it seems secondary to do so. Transformations in gender relations needs to be delegated to individual parents rather than formulating a blanket social policy that is not suitable across the board. Paternity leave is a noble idea but does not encourage fathers to actively participate in child care. Rather, it provides an opportunity for the men and women to be together when a new child is born. The policy for paternity leave was meant to support the mother in child care, meaning the mother is still considered the primary nurturer while the man supplements her efforts and therefore their periods of leave may not be equal. Intensive mothering has been identified as a major factor influencing the entrenchment of traditional values in parenting even as efforts are made to engage women in gainful work. The women take it upon themselves to spend much of their time and efforts to look after their children, which direct the behaviour of women. Such tendencies are naturally absent in men and hence the divide in parenting (Vuori, 2009; Chesley, 2011). Unpaid household labour is an issue that needs to be considered in-depth while evaluating the participation of men in child-care. Women who are unemployed spend more hours in the unpaid household labour than employed women. On the other hand, men with employed wives spend more time in such labour than those with unemployed wives. This indicates the influence of gainful employment on participation in child care. It also insinuates that unemployed men with employed partners spend more time in child care than the women. Nevertheless, the employed woman will maximize the time spent in childcare even in the presence of an active father than an employed father would do (Gerstel & Gallagher, 2001). The readiness and prospective capacity for a father to be involved can be of greater value for the family than mere consideration of the time spent in child care. The fact that gainful employment is beneficial for both partners and the family at large it is more of an obligation than a matter of discretion for men to actively participate in parenting. The disposition to active fatherhood is socially and institutionary recognized as considerably reasonable in Nordic countries while exclusive mothering is deeply entrenched in the Western culture (Vuori, 2009). Gerstel & Gallagher (2001) established a relationship between the social environment and caregiving in men. The influence of women on a man’s life, including partners, siblings and daughters was found to determine the level and kind of care that men exhibited. Men engaged to partners involved in caregiving to parents or siblings end up spending more time on similar activities. On the other hand, boys who grow up with sister siblings exhibit a lower level of participation in caregiving as adults. In this sense, caregiving has been portrayed as a preserve for women as they are the source of influence with regards to the caregiving demonstrated by men. However, studies indicate a greater tendency for men to actively participate in caregiving, yet their identity is attached to the ability to provide for their family through gainful employment. Even as fathers participate in the daily chores of caregiving, the tendency for the roles played by the partners to be gendered is always present as women understand the tasks they play best other than breast feeding, for example planning for a baby’s needs in advance such as preparing the child’s next meal. On the other hand, caring men are likely to be worried about the source of food and the financial needs of the mother and child. It is therefore the same role that men have played over the years but in the new structure is more pronounced by the length of time spent with the child (Miller, 2011). The society has myths that depict women’s role to be inevitably vested at home. This is one of the factors that empower men’s assertion in a relationship as well as outside the family. Shared parenthood can possibly help the society to change the view of women and allow them to participate actively in public spheres. Fathers engaged in preparations for delivery and also having an opportunity to witness child birth are likely to participate in caregiving with ease. Shared parenting adds value to the lives of men as they become emotionally attached to the child. The passive role of men in household activities in Finland is rapidly being replaced by active participation as well as greater involvement of women in formal employment. These changes are adequately supported by the Equality Act that compels employers to engage men and women on similar terms of service. Nevertheless, undue pressure on men to participate in child care may not yield the desired benefits. The transformation from the tradition perspective of caregiving to shared parenting needs to be a gradual process that does not erode the gains that are evident in contemporary parenthood (Johansson & Klinth, 2008). Vuori (2009) notes that the raging debate on gender equality has culminated in a situation whereby, apart from fathers playing an alternate role of assisting the mother in caregiving they are also replacing the mothers in many circumstances. The contemporary father is depicted as an individual who is constantly shedding his masculine identity to fit in the traditional feminine realm. The ideology of ‘stay-at-home’ fathers is becoming entrenched in the Finish families with the traditional ‘house wife’ no longer being the reservation of women. A wife who goes out to work daily leaving the husband at home to take care of household chores and is the family’s bread winner is a replacement of the traditional man. Psychologically, such a man has been transformed in to a mother. The creation of motherly men is not a matter of choice but circumstantial. Under such situations, the emotional significance of the mother to the child is eroded as the mother assumes a different role. The psychosocial development of a child especially for a boy is likely to be affected as he may not be capable of establishing male identity in the society. The child lacks a masculine figure with whom to identify while on the other hand the mother loses the femininity that girls need to identify with. The development of heterosexuals in the contemporary society can be attributed to the concept of ‘feminine fathers’ and ‘masculine mothers’ (Johansson & Klinth, 2008). Conclusion The shared parenting and exclusive mothering discourses diverge on various issues based on the father’s involvement. The need for the father’s active participation in caregiving cannot be overemphasised. The traditional passive parenting role of fathers needs to be replaced with a caring man. Social policies put in place to promote involvement of women in gainful employment have helped to empower women to play a bigger role in the public sphere. Nevertheless, the social transformations should not inter-change the roles of men and women. While motherhood is a societal duty, contemporary fatherhood is an objective and obligatory role that should remain distinct from a mother’s role. References Chesley, N. 2011. “Stay-at-Home Fathers and Breadwinning Mothers : Gender, Couple Dynamics, and Social Change” Gender & Society 25, 642-664. Gallagher, S. K. & Gerstel, N. 2001. “Men’s Caregiving: Gender and the Contingent Character of Care” Gender & Society 15(2), 197-217. Johansson, T. & Roger K. 2008. “Caring Fathers the Ideology of Gender Equality and Masculine Positions” Men and Masculinities 11(1), 42-62. Miller, T. 2011. “Falling back into Gender? Men’s Narratives and Practices around First-time Fatherhood” Sociology 45(6), 1094–1109. Vuori, J. 2009. “Men’s Choices and Masculine Duties: Fathers in Expert Discussions” Men and Masculinities 12(1), 45-72. Read More