Literature Review on Same Sex Parenting Effects - Essay Example

? Literature Review on Same Sex Parenting Effects Introduction Same sex marriages are now a common phenomenon. It started as a hidden practice in some of the most developed and educated nations of the world and in no time spread its roots to the small villages and towns of the under-developed parts of the globe. Initially it was much cried over but now such marriages are acknowledged almost everywhere. This has been supported in the work of Bozett (1987). In the United States, the ratio of same sex marriages have been overwhelmingly increasing over the years reaching from nearly 600,000 couples in the year 2000 to almost 777,000 in 2005 as stated by Bernstein (2005). With the increase in same sex couples, come some other issues of dispute, primarily kids that are raised by such couples. Currently over 10 percent of same sex couples are raising at least a kid. It is argued that kids that are raised by same sex parents lack what “normal” kids have. They are less confident; they lack social skills and may grow up to be confused of their gender eventually. However, Gamer (2005) contradicts that and tells that same sex parents can result in kids that are well looked after and are very well trained to face the world. Real Life Example It is reported by Farr (2009) that Kelly and Marie Anne are raising two children, Isabella and Massimo. They reside in New South Wales and live as a happy family. They have a kid each, from the same sperm donor, Davie. These kids brought with them glad tidings for their mothers whose relationships with their parents improved with the family extension. It is generally observed that same sex couples are looked with an eye of disgrace but having an extended family more or less nullifies that peculiarity and the family becomes acceptable socially. Hence, whether or not, it is good for the kid, it is better for the couple for sure. Kelly argues that her children feel good around their mothers and have no insecurities in telling their friends about their family. At the tender ages of six and ten, they have embraced the fact their family is just “different” from others and in no way worse off. This grants the kids confidence and they are just like any other kids of their age. They laugh, talk, play and eat just the way kids from hetro-sexual parents do of their age hence provide a living example of successful single sex parenting. Farr(2009) has adopted a biased point of view by strongly supporting children for such same sex couples. He believes that this helps them bond with their extended family and hence does not corner the couple socially. His idea was very well presented and justified. Books/ Journals against such marriages Chan (1998) provided research evidence showing that same sex parenting often results in kids that are twice as likely as other kids to develop serious mental weakness and other psychological problems. The suicide rate amongst such kids is also much higher accounting to about 10% of the children population whereas it is as low as 2.5% in other kids of age 26 or lesser. This devastating rate indicates that such children feel insecure of their parents and families in general. Maybe there is too much of societal pressure on them forcing them to take such a drastic step. Peer pressure stays high for such kids with friends and other peers ridiculing them and calling them by weird names in school. Such children are constantly reminded that they are an outcast in the society. It has been reported that even instructors show bias against them making them sit at the far end of the class and not allowing them to pair up with the other apparently normal students of the class. As they grow up, parents of other children, discourage their children from being friends with them resulting in them being totally out casted from the society. Parkard (2009) believes they have no friends, no relationships, no loved ones and no one to share their problems with. With adolescence come a lot of other physical problems that their single sex parents are unable to answer leaving them to be objects of mockery for the wider world. Thus many innocent souls give up their lives in order to save themselves from fear of abandonment and embarrassment. These two authors have been very research-driven in their opinion. They have stated all facts without any bias hence proving their point more strongly without compelling the reader to hold the same viewpoint. Goldberg (2010) exclaims that recent research in the area has shown that students raised by single sex parents are more likely to consider homosexuality as an option. Their lack of self confidence compels them to think of going down the same drain as their parents. Also they have a much severe negative reaction towards stress and rejection. They take academic and professional failures personally and consider them to be a pointing finger on their personal and familial lives instead. They fear stigmatization much more that kids raised by hetro sexual parents. Inferiority complex has seen to be a common trait amongst children raised in single sex parental hood. They normally look down at themselves and perceive that they are less intellectually and physically talented. This is normally the case in lesbian families. The father and mother both have a distinguished role to play in a family. While the mother nurtures the child and cares for her no matter what, the father is more demanding and strict. He teaches the child more about self praise, competition and the struggle to win. Thus lacking one of these, the development of a child is greatly suffered. Goldberg is a very well reputed author in single-sex issues and so his approach was very solid and based on deductions derived from researches and life experiences over many years. Thus due to his empirical nature of research, the reader is forced to trust his opinions and follow them blindly. Garner (2005) states that besides personality issues, it has been found out that children raised by single-sex parents find the need of having someone to love them and marry them much sooner than other kids. 53 percent of them are more likely to marry while they are teenagers and 11 percent of them are more likely to even have kids as teenagers. The worst part being around 92 percent of them are more likely to get divorced. This is because they themselves are not complete in their development hence cannot bear the burden of a family on their own. Living in lesbian families is a much more serious problem than a gay family. This is because, without a father, kids don’t learn to fight for their rights. They are not independent and not self confident. National Principals Association Report shows that around 71 percent of all high school drop outs come from fatherless homes. Mothers can not generally have a very strong hold on the family. They tend to lose on information about their kid’s friends, social activities etc compelling them to become more and more spoiled over the years. They are also more inclined to robberies, thefts and other wrong doings. 85 percent of them are jailed at least once in their life time. This shows they lack a sense of right and wrong. Generally guys are more sexually active than girls before marriage but it’s the opposite for kids raised amongst single sex parents. It is seen that guys are generally more ashamed of their parents “supposed” wrong doings and end up being socially vulnerable. Girls on the other hand, take out their frustration via sexual pleasure and hence tend to be more sexually active. Also they are on a much greater risk of losing their virginity well before marriage just to be sure that they are like normal people and not like their own parents as supported in the works of Goldberg (2010). There exists a sense of distinction and embarrassment in them and this forces them into wrong doings. Besides intellectual and social problems, children raised by same sex parents tend to be at a greater risk of having diseases and other illnesses as explained by Griffin (1997). They are more prone to allergies and are more likely to suffer from physical weakness. This is because nature’s balance is only perfect and when mankind tries to balance on itself, it changes the whole scale. All these authors that have spoken against single sex parenting have been very research oriented and formal in their way of delivering their opinion. This research driven method allows the reader to decide for himself whether or not he’d support single sex parenting after making him more informed of stats and other pros and cons. The Other Side The other side of the fence where the grass is much greener claims that single sex parents are in no way a bad option. Many researchers are of the opinion that gay and lesbian marriages can bear healthy and competent children who are, in no way, worse off than kids raised by hetro sexual families. This has been exemplified by Patterson (2004). In the year 2000, the American Psychiatric Association, in their fact sheet on gay. Lesbian and bisexual issues, writes that : "Numerous studies have shown that the children of gay parents are as likely to be healthy and well adjusted as children raised in heterosexual households. Children raised in gay or lesbian household do not show any greater incidence of homosexuality of gender identity issues than other children. Children raised in non traditional homes with gay/lesbian parents can encounter some special challenges related to ongoing stigma against homosexuality but most children surmount these problems.” This shows that there is hope for kids grown in homosexual parental guidance to still prove to be like any other kids and lead a life that has success and respect both. This is indeed a great ray of hope for all those single sex parents who doubt they would end up destroying a kid’s life if they are set for adoption as stated by Patterson (2004). Though studies suggest that 14 percent of the kids of single sex parents are more likely to commit rape, similar studies also suggest that 38 percent of them are more likely to be socially aware of the problems and evils that surround the society and are more likely to curb them. Just like every cloud has a silver lining, these kids might also grow up to be socially very active and helpful and stimulate more awareness about subjects like homosexual marriages and parenting. Of course, first hand experiences are much more valuable and insightful. Parenting for same sex parents also lets the parents mature with age. Parenting is a beautiful natural phenomenon. It helps the bearers grow with their child and mature in a much more graceful way. Also besides that, the kids are able to take care of their parents in old age. Single sex couples often stay aloof from the world. They don’t even get accepted at old age homes and are deprived of state benefits. Most of them are cut off from their extended families because of their same sex marriages and hence are cut off from the world. In such cases, the kids help their parents out in their old age and earn for them and be there for them. That sure is a great blessing and no married couple deserves to be set aloof from it. Also it is much better for children who are raised up in orphanages with no other aim but to give up their lives looking for their parents. Also, they are treated badly and are not educated which is a basic human right as mentioned by Bolger (1998). Journals and books supporting single sex parenting have been quite emotion-driven in their mode of delivering their point of view hence it comes across as a weaker view point. Nonetheless it invokes the concept of balance of nature and other subtleties that almost everyone adheres to. Conclusion Numerous researches have evolved in this area of study and the results have been alarmingly distinguished. While some studies illustrated by Patterson (1998) support such marriages, others believe that families should not be aiming for the next generation to save the world from more suicides, psychological problems and diseases. However, whatever individual researchers may believe, most would agree that nature is the best doctor of all problems. When the way of nature is broken, by such single sex marriages, problems do arise. Some families tend to overcome these problems with love and affection while others keep going down the drain of more serious problems and end up ruining generation by generation. Thus adopting a child by single sex parents is not something to do irrationally and abruptly. Single sex parents need to realize that they need to be even more loving and strict at the same time that other parents for the well being of their children. Also it’s not just a family’s affair. The wider world needs to play its part too as explained beautifully by Chan (1998). When we feel a child is not intellectually as competent as other children, we should make an effort to know why and not just that, we should also try to bridge in that gap and make him feel at ease like other children. Small frustrations at young age grow out of bounds with time hence they need to be solved before it is too late. The concerned governments should also ensure all citizen rights especially quality education and health care are provided to the kids so they don’t suffer. Same sex marriages will continue to increase as the trends show so now is the time to accept them. References Bozett, F. (1987). Gay and Lesbian Parents. Praeger Publishers. Griffin, C. & Wirth, M. (1997). Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lesbian & Gays Talk about their Experiences. Rev Upd Edition. Patterson, C. J., Sutfin, E. L., and Fulcher, M. (2004). Division of labor among lesbian and heterosexual parenting couples.Journal of Adult Development. Patterson, C. J. (2004). What difference does a civil union make? Changing public policies and the experiences of same-sex couples. Journal of Family Psychology. Patterson, C. J. (2004). The role of the father in child development. New York: Wiley. Goldberg, A. (2010). Lesbian and Gay Parents and Their Children: Research on the Family Life Cycle. American Psychological Association. Packard, R. (2009). Two Daddies and Me. AuthorHouse. Bernstein, R. (2005). Families of Value: Personal Profiles of Pioneering Lesbian and Gay Parents. Da Capo Press. Garner, A. (2005). Families Like Mine: Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is. Harper Paperbacks. Farr, R. H., Forssell, S. L., & Patterson, C. J. (2010). Parenting and child development in adoptive families: Does parental sexual orientation matter? Applied Developmental Science. Farr, R. H., Forssell, S. L., & Patterson, C. J. (2010). Parenting and child development in adoptive families: Does parental sexual orientation matter? Applied Developmental Science. Farr, R. H., Forssell, S. L., & Patterson, C. J. (2010). Parenting and child development in adoptive families: Does parental sexual orientation matter? Applied Developmental Science. Patterson, C. J. (2009). Children of lesbian and gay parents: Psychology, law, and policy. American Psychologist. Farr, R. H. & Patterson, C. J. (2009). Transracial adoption by lesbian, gay, and heterosexual couples: Who completes transracial adoptions, and with what results? Adoption Quarterly. Patterson, C. J. (2009). Lesbian and gay parents and their children: A social science perspective. New York: Springer. Patterson, C. J. (1998). Family lives of lesbians and gay men. Oxford, England: Elsevier. Bolger, K. E., Patterson, C. J., & Kupersmidt, J. B. (1998). Peer relations and self-esteem among children who have been maltreated. Child Development. Chan, R. W., Brooks, R. C., Raboy, B., & Patterson, C. J. (1998). Division of labor among lesbian and heterosexual parents. Journal of Family Psychology. Chan, R. W., Raboy, B., & Patterson, C. J. (1998). Psychosocial adjustment among children conceived via donor insemination by lesbian and heterosexual mothers. Child Development. Patterson, C. J., Hurt, S., & Mason, C. D. (1998). Families of the lesbian baby boom. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry. Read More