Males and Females' Approaches in Choosing a Partner - Research Paper Example

Anna Maria Prokopovicova Mr. Vescovi Advanced English of Research Paper In choosing a potential sexual or romantic partner, it appears that the two genders – males and females have different approaches and views of what is best for them. Although they both choose partners on the basis of some qualities and standards that run through, there are some individual divergences amongst the two classes of people. However, it appears that there are some commonalities that run through the different genders. There are numerous theories that have been put forward to describe why people choose partners. There are two main approaches which include physical attractiveness/sexual selection theory and other social theories like exposure, familiarity, personality, dependability and intelligence. The purpose of this research paper is to identify which of the two approaches are more likely to be used by the two genders – male and female. To this end, the paper will be written on the basis of the thesis that men are more likely to be drawn to a romantic partner because of physical or sexual attractiveness whilst women are more likely to be drawn to a romantic partner on the basis of their personality, exposure and other social features and statuses. In testing the hypothesis to prove or disprove it, there are numerous theories and concepts that can be brought to the fore formulate and draw logical conclusions. The first question that comes to mind is why men often seek female partners who are younger than them? It is obvious that women are more beautiful and more attractive sexually when they are younger, than when they grow older. Therefore, it can be generalized with a degree of accuracy that men go for younger women because younger women are more beautiful and sexually more attractive. Charles Darwin’s sexual selection theory indicates that in most cases, men tend to desire younger and more attractive women as a symptom of their mid-life crisis (Darwin 17). On the other hand, the parental investment theory that is put forward by Robert Trivers states that men subconsciously seek traits that show signs of fertility and strong genetic features which can be found more clearly in younger and sexually attractive women than men (Trivers 3). This creates a kind of subconscious mental situation whereby men look for women with strong genes. However, women are more oriented to think in relation to a partner who has long-term abilities because they think within the context of raising a family. Hence, women look beyond just physical traits and sexual attractiveness. They look for a man who has the social competencies and psychological abilities to set up and provide for a family in the best and most viable form. Charles Darwin’s concepts and ideas in The Descent of Man and Selection in Relation to Sex attempts to explain why some traits and activities survived over the generations to this date. His theories of evolution implied that certain key characteristics and traits were important and vital for the survival of a given species of living things. Hence, the choices and selection processes employed by the genders are related to the ability of the survival of every species. The book therefore discusses the approaches and methods that human beings use to choose a partner and reproduce with them in order to set up and extend their families. The parental investment theory indicates that male creatures are more focused on mating whilst female species are more interesting in mothering (Psychology Dictionary). It is apparent that men are more concerned with the reproduction part of the procreation process. Men have the inner drive to initiate intimate encounters. Women on the other hand have the inborn nature of accepting a fertilized fetus and developing it for 9 months. From there on, women are more connected and bonded to the child and they play a central role in nurturing the child by traditionally taking resources from the male, organizing a home and taking care of the babies. Hence, they have an innate nature to be more concerned with the ability of a man to ensure that he carries out his obligations as a provider and maintains the home. On the other hand, men are more prone to think in terms of the sexual activities that they are likely to initiate in order to reproduce children. Studies show that there are two standards that are used to evaluate and value a partner in choosing a mate - these are “self perception to a mate’s value and the importance given to mate standards” (Reis and Sprecher 827). Therefore, in cases where men are physically attractive, they are likely to have extremely high standards and they are also likely to belittle a mate’s value. Hence, such men are likely to stay single for a much longer time. On the other hand, a man who is not so good looking is likely to have lower standards in terms of looks of a woman and that individual is likely to value his mates better. Therefore, less handsome men are more likely to get married earlier than handsome men. This indicates that they are likely to invest more in long-term relationships than handsome men who are less willing to invest because their standards are high and will have to wait longer. This is because handsome men want women who are extremely attractive as opposed to less attractive men. In the case of women, they are more likely to look for deeper meanings in order to judge the kind of personality a man might have. Therefore, they look at the man’s personal traits in the context of his personal attributes by judging how he appears in various social contexts (Reis and Sprecher 827). This includes the examination of the setting and external situation in order to deduce important traits and trends that will fit into the broader context of what the man will be when there is a relationship. Paragraph no. 5 Women infer a man’s personal traits based on his physical appearance Facial masculinity vs. partner quality Certain facial features such as masculinity play a role in a woman’s assessment of man’s attractiveness, as they convey good health. However, these same traits tend to be associated with low long-term partner quality. According to studies conducted by Booth & Dabbs, 1993, Gray, Kahlenberg, Barrett, Lipson, & Ellison, 2002 and Kruger, 2006, men possessing highly masculine facial features are less likely to marry and more likely to divorce than men with subtler facial characteristics. Paragraph no. 6 Preferences differ depending on whether a woman is in her fertile or infertile period in the cycle http://web.a.ebscohost.com.w.ezproxy.nypl.org/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=ef8da74c-ba7d-4a23-9937-4a50000eaff8%40sessionmgr4002&vid=1&hid=4114 Paragraph no. 7 Selflessness proves to be an important factor in choosing a long-term partner http://web.a.ebscohost.com.w.ezproxy.nypl.org/ehost/detail/detail?sid=a53860f4-c714-43d4-b2cf-7dfe565c0213%40sessionmgr4005&vid=0&hid=4114&bdata=JkF1dGhUeXBlPWNvb2tpZSxpcCx1cmwsY3BpZCZjdXN0aWQ9bnlwbCZzaXRlPWVob3N0LWxpdmU%3d#db=aph&AN=91262194 As stated before, when looking for a long-term partner, the ability to provide for their offspring as also claimed by Trivers’ parental influence theory, individuals, mostly women value the ability to provide for the family. Selflessness, including for example altruism appears to be a sexy trait, as it is believed that an inclination to help will transfer into a successful bringing up of offspring. Paragraph no. 8 Acted vs. stated preferences People tend to state that they look for different qualities than they actually do Paragraph no. 9 Differences in what individuals seek in short-term partners http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/psp/90/3/468/ Paragraph no. 10 The ability to reproduce and provide for offspring remains the no. 1 trait individuals look for in a long-term partner http://web.a.ebscohost.com.w.ezproxy.nypl.org/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=a53860f4-c714-43d4-b2cf-7dfe565c0213%40sessionmgr4005&vid=1&hid=4114 As evolutionism suggest, humans have developed from animals. When animals search for an adequate partner to mate with, they investigate the other one’s genetic quality in terms of what genes he or she can pass on to the offspring. The most sought traits besides good physical health and intelligence involve how much one is willing to sacrifice for another. For example, saving another one from potential death transfers to a valuable trait or gene in human males. Although most studies attribute the importance of this trait in looking for a long-term partner to women, a classic study undertaken by Buss in 1989 shows that has been named a cooperative personality is assessed and valued by both sexes. However, a study conducted by Barclay uncovered that even in the case of one-night stands, women tend to prefer males who seem helpful. Bibliography: http://web.a.ebscohost.com.w.ezproxy.nypl.org/ehost/detail/detail?sid=e2ef3933-bed9-464e-93e6-a2d2f6ae7cac%40sessionmgr4002&vid=0&hid=4114&bdata=JkF1dGhUeXBlPWNvb2tpZSxpcCx1cmwsY3BpZCZjdXN0aWQ9bnlwbCZzaXRlPWVob3N0LWxpdmU%3d#db=buh&AN=94991596 http://www.uc.pt/en/cia/publica/AP_artigos/AP26.27.10_paulomota http://web.a.ebscohost.com.w.ezproxy.nypl.org/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=ef8da74c-ba7d-4a23-9937-4a50000eaff8%40sessionmgr4002&vid=1&hid=4114 http://web.a.ebscohost.com.w.ezproxy.nypl.org/ehost/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=40fa808e-bc74-4e60-ab1d-0a1e40bafedf%40sessionmgr4001&vid=1&hid=4114 Read More