Letter of Advice Letter of Advice Dear John and Rita, How are both of you? I am fine and I expect the same for the two of you. I would firstly like to congratulate you two for the engagement. Sorry I could not be there but my best wishes for the newly engaged couple…
The most important thing in a new relationship is to develop understanding and trust among each other. Only with understand can hindrances or fail of communication can be coped up. One very common example of a failure in effective communication occurs when interaction or communication between people take place either in a crowded place or through a medium like telephone where the voice cannot be heard properly. Under such circumstances, it is very much possible that a partner could misinterpret or hear something else that was intended to. For example while taking the course we came across a couple in class that shared their experience of miscommunication over the phone. The couple had recently tied the knot and one fine day while talking on the phone from office the female partner said “Honey my life was so incomplete without you.” The male partner heard the sentence wrong and asked “Do you mean to say that your life was complete without me and that now I am part of it it’s not complete?” The female partner without realizing what she heard said yes. This infuriated the male partner and he banged the phone down only to return home late and drunk that night. Later when the issue was sorted out the problem looked very simple but because the two of them had not known each other that well, it had looked very big before. Our lecturer then told us that it is very important to develop an understanding so one could know what to expect from the other. The lecturer gave the example of the couple and said that if there was better understanding between the couple at that moment in their life then an incident of that nature would not have taken place. The male partner would know that his female partner would never say something like that and even if she does then maybe in light humour. This was an ideal example of misconception in interpersonal communication (West and Turner, 2010). The relationship of a newly engaged couple is very delicate as both the partners try to make maximum effort in trying to understand each other. It is also a testing time when a partner tests the patience, attitude, behaviour and other characteristics of his or her counterpart. It is very important to select the words in order to create and affect the attitude, behaviour and perception. Words once spilled out from the mouth can never be taken back no matter how sweet or bitter they are. I do not mean to tell you to be extra cautious while talking to one another. That is not good otherwise there will be more silence than talking. All that I am saying is that you two must be in control of your conversation rather than the conversation controls you. If one of you gets upset then the best way to handle the situation is by kindly talking it over rather than spilling out rude words or showing body language that is not appropriate. You two must understand that most of the problems in marriage and other relationships are caused by misunderstanding and what Sigmund Freud described as ego. At the lectures in our courses, the lecturers try to tell us how to handle our ego and help from keeping it away from our relationships. Your ego is your self esteem. It is something that always wants to keep you superior in front of your counterpart. In a healthy relationship the two of you must look to make a compromise with your ego placing more importance to your partner. It is not a problem if the male partner first says hello. There should be ...
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