Different Aspects of Interpersonal Attraction - Essay Example

?Running Head: Interpersonal Attraction Interpersonal Attraction [Institute’s INTERPERSONAL ATTRACTION Introduction For many centuries until today, humans have remained curious in terms of knowing about the processes that result in attraction between two people, and therefore, one can come across a range of literature on different aspects of attraction, especially interpersonal attraction that is the topic of this paper. Although historical evidence (Backman & Secord, 1959) has indicated that even ancient civilisations were interested in knowing the secrets of interpersonal attraction, however, embellishment of research in this field began during 60s (Byrne, 1961) and early 70s. In 90s, one can observe that interpersonal attraction was able to acquire its status as a branch of evolutionary psychology, which further ignited the curiosity of psychologists. Subsequently, after the advancement of internet and technologies, corporate world has been very interested in the notion of interpersonal attraction due to dependency of various business ventures, such as online dating on the mere interpersonal attraction. This interest of corporate world resulted in increment in the speed of research being carried out, and many topics that were considered taboo earlier became part of literature as well related to interpersonal attraction. From the term itself, it is obvious that interpersonal attraction talks about attraction between the two people, and from the abovementioned historical journey, psychologists have come up with different factors that according to them play a critical role in influencing each other in terms of likeness, love, and affection (Bruno, 2002). In the beginning, there was much ambiguity in the definition and understanding of why and how this happens, and there was no appropriate theory related to interpersonal attraction; however, as the time has passed, humans have endeavored to review existing literature due to its special interest in the notion of interpersonal attraction. Discussion Analysis of this literature (Husain & Kureshi, 1998) has identified basic premise related to interpersonal attraction that indicates that the level of attraction between two people emerges when they feel rewarding from the other side and vice versa. We meet different people with different behaviors and different attitudes every day; however, attraction does not occur with everyone. Psychologists (Bruno, 2002) have explained this notion by indicating that people alter their attitudes and behaviors in positive or negative manner based on their interaction with other people. Humans have always been inspired from the concepts of reward or punishment, and this very basic idea works dominantly in interpersonal attraction in direct or indirect manner. In other words, when we see behavior of another person rewarding us emotionally or in terms of his/her behavior, we consciously or unconsciously develop a sense of initial attachment with that particular person. This is the point where likeness towards a person develops and then it continues and/or advances and/or reduces depending on further interactions with that person. Moreover, psychologists (Husain & Kureshi, 1998) have noted that no matter how selfless an individual is, he/she will always be selfish in terms of fulfillment of his/her own psychological, physical, and social needs (Louro, Pieters, & Zeelenberg, 2007). Based on this principle, experts have identified different needs that interpersonal attraction seems to fulfill in individuals. Pleasure either physical or emotional is the basic need that interpersonal attraction fulfills in an individual followed by boosting of self-esteem that plays a vital role in the degree of attraction that an individual experiences with another person. Moreover, literature has indicated that interpersonal attraction provides a sense of belonging to the individuals since man is a social animal, and therefore, humans always are in the process of finding their source of belonging since the day one. An infant acquires source of belonging in mother’s lap and tries to develop a sense of belonging by responding to faces and their gestures (Husain & Kureshi, 1998). Psychologists have mentioned that unconsciously, people always look for pleasure and are always in process of avoiding and/or get rid of pain. In this regard, individuals develop interpersonal attraction when they receive pleasure from someone and they reduce and terminate this attraction when they receive some kind of pain from the same person whereas the level and/or degree of pain determine reduction/increment of the level of interpersonal attraction among people. In other words, we humans have always a directory in our mind where we list down few people in the section of pleasure and some people in the list of pain, and we automatically develop and/or alter our behaviors and attitudes toward that particular person. Once again, this pleasure and pain does not remain limited to physical only but it advances to psychological, emotional, and social pleasure and pain. Physical pleasure refers to arousal of stimuli in the human body that then result in interpersonal attraction and a sense of likeness for the other person. On the other hand, psychological and emotional pleasure provides a sense of security resulting in pleasure in presence of the particular person while social pleasure refers to the degree with which the other person contributes towards development of individual’s identity in the community or society (Husain & Kureshi, 1998). This association of interpersonal attraction with psychological, emotional, and social pleasure is the basic reason that the notion has not remained limited to physical attraction only. Due to this very reason, one can observe many good-looking people getting attracted to average-looking people; however, this ‘average-looking’ is something that remains ambiguous and complicated as some people are attractive for some whereas the same individuals do not fall in the category of good looking according to other people. From this observation, it is evident that every individual perceives and evaluates his/her environment based on personal associations and personal understanding of the notion of attraction (Bruno, 2002). Despite of this, society has come up with few standards related to attraction according to which masses of people determine whether a person is attractive or not in terms of physical appearance. However, besides physical attractiveness, sense of humor is another imperative factor that determines the level of interpersonal attraction between two people. Psychologists have explained this in the same abovementioned way that physical attraction is not the only way humans feel sense of pleasure, and thus, sense of humor is one of the factors that results in increment of emotional pleasure that becomes observable in the form of smiling and laughter that are basic tools of expressing pleasure in humans (Adams, 1999). Abovementioned is one of the reasons that good sense of humor has remained one of the top priorities of both men and women that look for individuals with good sense of humor as this good sense of humor allows individuals to acquire and feel pleasurable experiences with each other. From this understanding of interpersonal attraction, it is evident that humans are just not physical pleasure seekers and interpersonal attraction is about a lot more that goes far beyond the fulfillment or achievement of physical pleasure in humans. As mentioned earlier, self-esteem is something that humans always endeavor to have and maintain on a higher level. Psychologists (Adams, 1999) have agreed to the fact that higher self-esteem is something that influences every other factor of attraction in humans. In this regard, interpersonal attraction functions as a tool for humans to enhance their self-esteem that subsequently results in higher levels of satisfaction and pleasure directly or indirectly. Until now, the paper has included discussion on why interpersonal attraction occurs in humans. Now the paper will include exploration of factors that make it possible for interpersonal attraction to occur in individuals, more specifically, the paper will focus on ‘how’ factor of interpersonal attraction. In this regard, similarity is one of the most evident and most influential factors that have been the reason of interpersonal attraction among people (Chadee, 2011). Psychologists have observed strong connection between similarity and attraction. In other words, individuals tend to like people that are similar to them that according to them, which psychologists refer as perceived similarity. Similarity can exist in many aspects; physical similarity that is the reason why couples often look like each other because humans tend to like people that are similar to them in terms of physical appearance. Due to this reason, a physically attractive person usually like people that are also attractive in terms of their physical attractiveness, and similarly, people who are not so attractive physically consciously or unconsciously reduces the level of their expectations and/or standards when it comes to liking other person, and they automatically consider average-looking people as highly attractive for them. The factor of similarity does not remain limited to physical similarity but it goes beyond it reaching behavioral similarity that often is referred as chemistry between two people (Chadee, 2011). In this regard, one usually observes people saying that there is a very good chemistry between two people even when they are not physically attracted with each other, which indicate to the higher degree of psychological similarity that results in better understanding and bonding of two or more people with each other. Besides similarity, reciprocity is another effect that acts as an active agent for causing interpersonal attraction between two or more people (Chadee, 2011). It becomes easier for individuals to like someone if they are aware that the person already likes them. This is referred as reciprocity effect. Social exchange theory has also promoted this idea of reciprocity by indicating that people always look for people providing social approval (likeness), which then acts as a generalised reinforce to develop interpersonal attraction. Interdependence theory also has emphasised on the power of reciprocity. However, it is also imperative that this liking of others should or even must make the other person feel special, which then results in beginning of reciprocity effect, and subsequently, interpersonal attraction (Thomas & Iding, 2012). In addition, further research has indicated that the level of interpersonal attraction increases when individuals notice that likeness for them has increased over time, which makes them feel more special due to the fact that they associate this as their own positive development, which has caused increment in the level of likeness from the side of other person. This personal positive development causes a boost in self-esteem of individuals that explains the occurrence of interpersonal attraction. Familiarity is another important underlying factor that determines the level of interpersonal attraction among people. Studies have indicated that there is a greater chance of interpersonal attraction among people that are in closer proximity with each other (Thomas & Iding, 2012). For instance, there is a greater possibility that people living in one neighborhood will develop interpersonal attraction with each other in comparison with people that will be living in some other neighborhood. In addition, chances of interpersonal attraction increases when people spend more time or interact with each other, which usually happens at workplace or at educational institutions that results in a sense of interpersonal attraction that often remains to the level of likeness and sometimes, it results in feeling of love and greater attraction. Although there is a possibility of interpersonal attraction with unfamiliar people, however, it takes lesser time to develop bonding with a familiar individual in comparison to someone unfamiliar. Besides familiarity, physical attractiveness, pleasure, and self-esteem, another imperative factor that inclines individuals toward someone in terms of interpersonal attraction is fulfillment of emotional needs. For instance, an individual suffering from anxiety or depression will develop interpersonal attraction with a person who will have the expertise in helping and managing anxiety levels, as the anxiety management will help the person in feeling satisfied so this will be in kind of fulfillment of an emotional need. Another factor that causes interpersonal attraction is their selfishness that is referred as a self-expansion and has been proposed in self-expansion theory. Advocates of theory have emphasised that humans are always looking for their self-expansion and they tend to create a sense of attraction with people that may help them in such expansion directly or indirectly, and this sense of attraction develops consciously as well as unconsciously. Although this kind of relationships usually remains to the level of social relationships, however, this also is a kind of interpersonal attraction. Attachment theory (Simpson & Rholes, 1998) provides another imperative explanation of interpersonal attraction. Since man is a social animal, he always looks for bonding and association with people, especially in times of need and stress; and this difficult time enables the individuals to know about people that are there to reestablish the environment of security and satisfaction. In addition, attachment theory indicates that individuals usually develop some attachment figures in their lives based on their experiences, which then influences and affects their subsequent relationships and/or interactions with other people. Psychologists (Simpson & Rholes, 1998) somehow agree with the attachment theory, as it has been an observation that early experiences with parents play a significant role in the way individuals interact with their partners or people in their proximity because that is how they had created attachment figures, which can be either positive or negative. In addition, this does not remain limited to interactions only but to their own expectations, as they tend to expect lesser from other people due to their negative experiences from past relationship/s and vice versa. Psychologically, individuals develop internal working models in their mind that automatically indicate the level of expectations and behavior style one has to keep with someone, which is also referred as attachment styles. In this regard, attachment styles is the reason why people act and behave differently in different settings, as one setting or association would be providing attachment security and the other one would be causing attachment insecurity (Mikulincer & Nachshon, 1991). While attachment security enhances the level of interpersonal attraction, attachment insecurity results in attachment anxiety and/or attachment avoidance. In attachment anxiety, individuals become hyperactive in terms of expecting rejection most of the time, whereas in attachment avoidance, they begin to avoid close interactions and evade any chance of dependency on someone. On the other hand, individuals that lack both attachment anxiety and avoidance show complete security, welcome any social interaction, close relationships, and enjoy dependency and/or interdependency as well. In this regard, according to attachment theory, people who are secure in terms of their attachment, they tend to involve in closeness with their partners and vice versa. Conclusion Conclusively, interpersonal attraction involves various different aspects and factors that cause its occurrence or non-existence in lives of individuals globally. The paper identified different factors that play a significant role including the factor of pleasure that has been the basic and most fundamental due to its stronger influence on all other aspects of human psychology. Secondly, self-esteem turned out to be a factor as well that is imperative in occurrence of interpersonal attraction between two or more people. Individuals also look for a sense of belonging that results in the development of interpersonal attraction, whereas, goal pursuit or instrumentality (Louro, Pieters, & Zeelenberg, 2007) is one of the reasons that motivate individuals to get into social relationships and develop bonds with people in their proximity. In this process, familiarity, propinquity, and similarity are some of the influencing agents that cause interpersonal attraction. Finally, the paper has discussed some of the significant aspects of interpersonal attraction. The paper has identified and analysed different studies related to the topic; however, it is anticipation that future researches in this regard will allow a more comprehensive and updated understanding of the notion. It is an expectation that the paper will be beneficial for students and professionals in better understanding of the topic. References Adams, J. F. (1999). Handbook of Interpersonal Communication and Relationship Stability. Springer. Backman, C. W., & Secord, P. F. (1959). The effect of perceived liking on interpersonal attraction. Human Relations, 12, 379-384. Bruno, F. J. (2002). Psychology. John Wiley & Sons. Byrne, D. (1961). Interpersonal attraction and attitude similarity. Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology, 62, 713-715. Chadee, D. (2011). Theories in Social Psychology. John Wiley & Sons. Husain, A., Kureshi, A. (1998). Dimensions of Interpersonal Attraction. Gyan Publishing House. Louro, M. J., Pieters, R., & Zeelenberg, M. (2007). Dynamics of multiple-goal pursuit. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 93, 174-193. Mikulincer, M., & Nachshon, O. (1991). Attachment styles and patterns of self-disclosure. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 61, 321-332. Simpson, J. A., Rholes, W. S. (1998). Attachment Theory and Close Relationships. Guilford Press. Thomas, M. R., Iding, M. K. (2012). Explaining Conversations. Jason Aronson. Read More