Does Happiness in Life Is Linked More to Expressions of Kindness Than to Experiencing Pleasure - Essay Example

Key to happiness and a better life Self-Indulgence or Kindness Which is the Key to Happiness and a Better Life? Abstract Perhaps one of the most intriguing questions in human psychology is what constitutes true happiness, and which kind of happiness is long lasting. Happiness is associated with innumerable factors, prominent ones of which include happiness derived from carrying out pleasurable activities and happiness derived from doing an act of kindness. This paper attempts to analyze happiness associated with these two kinds of actions, comparing the effects of both and analyzing which one is longer lasting and which one can be linked with satisfaction in life. Through the articulation of personal experiences relevant to this study, and on their critical evaluation, it is concluded that the happiness associated with performing an act of kindness and empathy is as long lasting and as effective for the promotion of a good life, as the happiness associated with pleasure seeking actions and self-indulgence. Thus, it can be stated that though kindness and good life are positively associated, the extent of happiness experienced during self-indulgence or kindness is the same. However, the happiness associated with these two activities may be affected by other factors such as the kind of pleasurable activity undertaken, the type of reaction, provision of gratitude from the beneficiary of a kind act and future implications of the act of kindness. Self-Indulgence or Kindness Which is the Key to Happiness and a better Life? It is a widespread notion that being kind and selfless leads to a happy life. This belief has been further promoted by research studies and emerging evidence, which points out the association between happiness and kindness, linking it more to expressions of kindness than to experiencing pleasure. The validity of this notion is tested in the present paper, through a reflective analysis of my own emotional experiences and the extent and longevity of the happiness felt during and after these experiences. I. Pleasure and its association with happiness A. My experience Landscaping is one of the most enjoyable activities that I find to be “me-centric” and pleasurable. It has been a long-standing practice of mine, to remove old plants and replace them with shrubs and perennial plants, along with some annual and seasonal plants in my home garden. This act of self-indulgence gives me a real sense of accomplishment that I enjoy year round. I replace the annual plants every season, providing my garden with a different look every time. It is a huge source of enjoyment and pleasure, watching the seasonal changes in landscape, which acts as a stress reliever. I even enjoy the manual labor associated with this practice as it provides relief from life’s routine and mundane tasks. B. Reflective analysis Prior to my first tryst with landscaping and gardening, I had never anticipated that it would give me such joy. However, after my first experience with this activity, and after feeling the joy it gave me, I constantly feel the urge of re-experiencing it. Since I get to see the product of my activity year round, my joy is long lasting and the pleasure I feel on seeing it is the same as that experienced while doing it. The pleasurable feeling keeps recurring long after the conclusion of this activity. Looking back at it, I still feel that it was a worthwhile task, and would always love to engage in it once again. II. Kindness, compassion, and selflessness, and their association with happiness A. My experience As an act of kindness and selflessness, I chose to prepare the entire Christmas meal for 25 family members of mine. Doing so was made possible because of the two-week vacation that I had during that time, while the rest of my adult siblings were still working. I did this out of an understanding that they had very limited time to enjoy Christmas with their families, and I did not want them to worry about preparing the Christmas feast and spend time on cooking, while they could spend the same on enjoying with their families. I cooked the entire feast, everything including the turkey, the sides, the desserts, the appetizers and so on. Moreover, I held the event at my home, which was heartily decorated, especially for the kids’ enjoyment. I carried out this act with pure selflessness, compassion, love and without any expectation of deriving personal benefit out of it. B. Reflective analysis Since I had anticipated that this activity would not only help my siblings and their families in managing their time during Christmas, but would also give them immense joy and pleasure, I was filled with happiness myself. I was, therefore, already expecting that I would be happy while completing the task. This work did give me personal satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment, just like the feeling I experienced during landscaping. Though the activity was very daunting, I enjoyed doing it, and this pleasure multiplied after the completion of the task, especially when I could see that the task successfully achieved the objectives I had in mind. The happiness and gratitude I received from my siblings and their children gave me personal joy, which I continued to feel long after the incident was over. However, on comparing the longevity of the happiness that I experienced from this activity and the one that I had experienced while indulging in the self-centered pleasurable activity described earlier, I come to the conclusion that the joy I experienced in my act of kindness lasted as long, but not longer, than the joy I experienced during the pleasure event, i.e., landscaping. III. Findings and discussion This study poses two main questions, whether the happiness associated with kindness is longer lasting than that experienced during pleasure and self-indulgence, and whether kindness and good life are positively associated. From a reflective analysis of my own experiences, it can be stated that both kinds of happiness last equally. In both cases of activities related here, the joy lasted long after the activity was over, and the extent of happiness was the same. Happiness does not depend on the objective of the activity, whether it is done out of self-interest or out of selflessness, but rather depends on the individual’s perception of the activity and its outcome. In fact, happiness is derived out of “fulfillment (achieved) through having goals that are interesting to work on and which use our strengths and abilities” (Rudin, 2006). These goals could be self-centered or compassionate, and as long as they provide a sense of fulfillment, they impart happiness. No joy is everlasting, and all beings are aware of the fact that happiness of any kind, either stemming out of a kind activity or self indulgence, has to come to an end. As Kringelbach and Berridge write, “While consciousness allows us to experience pleasures, desires, and perhaps even happiness, this is always accompanied by the certainty of the end” (2010). The second question addressed here is whether kindness and good life are positively associated. From my activities and the emotional experiences I had had on performing them, I infer that an act that provides pleasure, enjoyment and a sense of accomplishment always enhances the quality of life, satisfaction and well-being. Therefore, kindness that provides joy is positively associated with ‘good life’. However, a good life is also associated with other activities such as the expression of gratitude and optimism, and the savoring of pleasurable events of life (Boehm and Lyubomirsky, 2009). Happiness, thus, is a collective effect of activities that are at the personal and individualistic level (such as “me-centric” activities), as well as those that are at a collective or community level (such as acts of kindness and empathy). This inference is consistent with the ideas purported by Seligman (2000), who writes, The field of positive psychology at the subjective level is about valued subjective experiences… At the individual level, it is about positive individual traits… At the group level, it is about the civic virtues and the institutions that move individuals toward better citizenship (p. 5). Some factors that affect the amount and longevity of the happiness experienced on performing an act of kindness include the gratitude and reaction shown by the beneficiary of the kind act. Performing random acts of kindness arouse suspicion and skepticism (Baskerville et al, 2000; Rubin, 2009). Moreover, if a kind act is not met with gratitude from the beneficiary, it diminishes the pleasure of doing it. It is thus concluded that happiness and well-being of an individual is a collective result of the joys stemming out of both individualistic and compassionate activities. There is no definite difference in the length and magnitude of the happiness experienced from self-indulgence or kindness, however, both are positively associated with a good life and emotional well being. References Baskerville, K., Johnson, K., Monk-Turner, E., Standley, H., Stansbury, S., Williams, M., & Young, J. (2000). Reaction to Random Acts of Kindness. The social science journal, 37(2), 293-298. Retrieved from http://www.accessmylibrary.com/article-1G1-63819152/reactions-random-acts-kindness.html Boehm, J. K., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2009). The promise of sustainable happiness. Handbook of Positive Psychology, 1-25. Oxford University Press. Retrieved from http://www.faculty.ucr.edu/~sonja/papers/BLinpressa.pdf Kringelbach, M. L., & Berridge, K. C. (2010). The Neuroscience of Happiness and Pleasure. Neuroscience, 77(2), 659-678. Social Research. Retrieved from http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3008658/ Rubin, G. (2009, March 10). Happiness Myth No. 7: Doing “Random Acts of Kindness” Brings Happiness. The Happiness Project. Retrieved from http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2009/03/happiness-myth-no-7-doing-random-acts-of-kindness-brings-happiness-.html Rudin, M. (2006, April 30). The science of happiness. BBC news. Retrieved from http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/happiness_formula/4783836.stm Seligman, M. E. P., & Csikszentmihalyi, M. (2000). Positive psychology: An introduction. American Psychologist, 55(1), 5-14. APA AMERICAN PSYCHOLOGICAL ASSOCIATION. Read More