The Psychology of Human Destiny - Essay Example

Proper communication and removal of ego between two or more person helps to build long term relations and ensures that the differences between people get removed. The ability of people to remove their ego and work by looking into the shoes of another person helps to analyze the situation better and based on it are able to take decisions through which differences are removed and respect for each other increases. The importance of proper communication is exercised in every field but the role of interpersonal communication increases in case of husband and wife as their relation is built on trust and even a slight miscommunication can have an impact on their relation. This makes it important that both husband and wife tend to remove their differences and develop a platform through which they are able to come together and live together. This essay looks to evaluate one of the incidents which took place between me and my husband. It will highlight the different and minor issues which led towards misunderstanding and created differences between both of us. This will be followed by my personal feelings and will show the different state which I underwent. The essay will then follow an analysis of the issues through the use of transactional analysis which will help to understand the manner in which the use of transactional analysis will help to remove the ego, differences and improve the process of communication. This will thereby act as a process through which interpersonal communication between me and my husband will improve and will act as a stone through which the differences which exist can be removed. The process will thereby help to remove the ego and ensure that proper communication is developed between me and my husband and will thereby help to develop out relationship for a long period of time and will ensure that mutual trust and reliance on the relationship will increase and will thereby help to bring about a situation where the relationship will flourish. I had encountered a situation with my husband where due to miscommunication and misunderstanding differences were created between me and my husband. I faced a situation where differences between me and my husband were continuously increasing due to miscommunication that started between both of us. My husband was unable to understand me and nor my husband was able to understand me. Even when I spoke on small and petty issues my husband used to get irritated and used to take things in a wrong sense. There was a situation when I told my husband that he can act in a particular manner but my husband interpreted it in a wrong manner and thought that I was ordering him to act in a predetermined manner and got irritated. In fact I was telling my husband that he can act in a particular manner as he was facing some tension related to office work. I advised him that he can take some additional time and look to find out a different way through which the problem will be solved. My husband instead interpreted in a wrong manner and thought that I was acting as his boss and was ordering him to act in a particular manner. The stress and annoyance which had occurred at office instead came out and he began shouting at me. This led to a situation where I started to feel that he was looking to dominate me and I also started to argue with him. The process continued for a long period of time and created differences between both of us. The situation became so tense that we stayed in the same house and preferred not to see each other. Speaking to each other was not possible as both of us was under the influence of our own ego and thought that each of us was correct. The differences between me and my husband continued to grow and the situation became so grim and tense that both were searching for ways through which we could avoid each other. There was a situation where I and my husband were looking to divorce each other because the situation in the house was such that there was no belief on each other both of us looked down on the other as a situation where there was no trust. The increasing differences and miscommunication and understanding widened the gap and made it difficult for each other to come together. Despite some of the attempts to reduce the differences noting was achieved. Instead, the gap between me and my husband widened. The problem got sorted out when we removed the difference and mutually accepted each other fault and looked towards removing the differences. Putting ourselves in the shoes of other and understanding the complete issue helped me and my husband to respect each other and improved the level of understanding which was present. This thereby ensured that my relationship strengthened and helped to understand each other which will thereby help to ensure that better communication is developed in the future and will be able to remove the differences and will ensure that such situations don’t arise in the future and will help to ensure better understanding and develop my relation with my husband. The situation was so grim that I had to undergo different feelings at different times which at times created complete unrest and made it difficult for me to concentrate on the work on hand. During time when I was undergoing a fight with my husband my ego was dominating me and made me act in a manner as if I was correct in all situations. The ego at that juncture dominated me and I had no control over myself. The same was reflected in the attitude and feelings of my husband as he tried to dominate me and tried to keep his words up. The situation was so frustrating that at times we lost peace of mind and started to shout at each other. There was complete chaos and the feeling was not pleasant at all. After the incident or the small fight which we had regularly I used to realize the fact that both of us were wrong on our parts and needed to apologise to each other. This was not possible because whenever I tried to do so my ego dominated me and the differences which were present cropped up. This further intensified the differences and created a situation where both of us were always either fired up or didn’t speak. The entire feeling during the process was not good and showed the manner in which we missed each other. The feelings towards each other was further maligned and not impressive though both of us were aware at the back of the mind that we were wrong and could have easily dealt with the situation in a much better way. There were situations where my feelings were expressed through my tears but that always took place when I was alone. I didn’t want my husband to realize that I was weak and always portrayed as there was no mistake from my part. I knew and used to cry when I was all alone which helped me understand the feeling and state I was undergoing. I am sure that my husband was experiencing the same pain and agony and his feelings would be similar to what I was undergoing. The entire period was very painful and was full of incidents which were hurting and making me realize that I need to ct and take steps so that the differences can be removed. The feelings and the entire situation required stern actions and needed that both of us brought forward each other feelings so that the heart melts. This would have ensured that I would have been able to remove the differences which was present between me and my husband and would have been able to bring a complete change and turnaround in our relations. This would have ensured that we showed each other feelings and could have generated the warmth, affection and love which were needed in our relation. This would have helped to express our feelings and would have necessarily acted as a liaison through which I would have been able to develop the positive relation and ensure that out live was smoother and better and would have garnered a process of better admiration and love for each other. The incident between me and my husband clearly highlighted the lack of proper communication and understanding which could have easily helped to deal with the incident and would have ensured that positive feelings dominated. A study in the same direction carried out by Berne, (2005) states that in case of a fight on problem between the spouses both look into a reproach approach where both the spouse neglect their positive characteristics and look upon each other with mutual distrust and agony. This was clearly seen in my incident and required that a range of social bonds and issues needed to be looked at so that wider perspective associated with better relations can be achieved. Corey (2009) highlighted that the use of transactional analysis as an interactive therapy will help to bring the required changes in cognitive, rational and behavioural functions which will thereby tend to improve the relationship between the husband and wife. This will tend to remove the differences and improve the process of communication which will thereby help to build mutual trust and respect for each other. If the situation is not looked through the process of transactional analysis which will aim at working on the ego status the differences between the spouses will increase and will lead towards loneliness and will have an impact on the married life. Using the process of transactional analysis which aims at removing the differences which exist between people by working on the ego status and improving the process of interpersonal communication will help to able the different state and process of communication by taking different forms so that better transactions and strategies through which differences will be removed will grow (Prochaska and Norcross, 2009). This approach doesn’t only require that people loving each other look into one another eyes but also look at the same direction so that there is better understanding and relationship is fostered (Harris & Harris, 2005). The parent (exteropsyche) and the child (archaeopsyche) are the ego status which makes them act in a different direction and it is the adult ego status which will help them come together. The framework is difficult but when two grownups of parents like a husband and wife is involved direct talking and communication with each other helps to remove the ego differences which is present and acts as a framework through which better relations are developed. A research in the same direction strengthens the point that effective communication ensures that the spouses are more committed towards the family and give more importance to the family health than one where communication is not strong (Caughlin, 2000). This was followed by another study by Miller (2003) stressing those proper communication skills helps to enhance family intimacy and removes the differences which are present among the family members. This clearly gives an indication that the use of transactional analysis will help to remove and reduce the differences which is present among the family and would have helped me to ensure that I was able to develop better and positive relations with my husband. Transactional analytical skills help to reduce the level of distress that couples while functioning in the family faces. Transactional analysis has a positive impact on the family functioning as compared to control group as it helps to deal with the underlying reason of dispute and tends to provide a conclusive direction and evidence based on which better relationship can be developed. Transactional analysis helps both the spouses to express and convey their messages more clearly and have a better understanding of each other. Systematic practices of the transactional skills will bring a change in the behaviour of spouses and will develop positive interactional patterns which will develop positive communication patterns and will reduce the involvement in stress relating behaviour like criticism, blaming, taunting and tongue-lashing language. This will thereby act as a positive remedy to reduce the ego and understand each other better. Working on the transactional analysis will also help me and my husband to be in a position where we are able to understand each other better and would thereby be able to bring a change in out behaviour through which better relation will be developed. Transactional analysis skills further leads towards an improvement in the distress level of couples as it helps to formulate strategies through which better approach and sharing of information becomes possible (Sanderson and Karetsky, 2002). This shows that transactional analysis has a positive effect on spouses and helps to create an environment where sharing of information becomes possible which thereby helps to remove the differences and ensures that overall productivity is gained. Using transactional skills thereby helps to develop better and efficient relationship where couples experiences lesser conflicts and are able to express themselves. This thereby acts as a parameter through which couples are able to remove their differences and are able to come and speak on topics through which better relationship is developed. This thereby ensures that the overall mechanism helps to ensure better relationship and is able to remove the differences which are present among the couples. This would help me ensure that I could remove the differences between me and my husband and would be able to develop the required fundamentals through which better relationship could be fostered between us. The fact that transactional analysis skills helps adults to remove their egos and look to understand things by understanding the state of the other parties ensures that the decisions taken are better and positive. This removes the ego between the different members of the families and helps to create an environment of understanding where the couples are able to come together and are able to remove the differences which exist between them. This thereby fosters an environment where spouses are able to understand each other better and develop a mechanism through which forces are developed and the differences are removed. Transactional analysis further helps to improve the level of communication among the spouses as it looks to engage and involve different social and other issues which will help to strengthen the relationship between the spouses. The level of skills has an important aspect in relation to the healthy marital functioning of the relation. A proper coordination and relationship which is established through better communication strategies helps to remove the ego status which is applicable and present among the employees (Christensen and Shenk, 2001). Spouses who further undergo the training process used in transactional analysis are able to understand the different aspect of communication skills which helps to foster a process through which the differences among the spouses are reduced. This helps to improve the level of understanding and helps to create a platform through which communication improves and positive relation is witnessed among the spouses. Transactional skills and analysis helps to bring about a change in ego state as it brings a change in the behaviour of the communication pattern of the spouses. This thereby helps the spouses to understand each other better and creates an environment where positive relation is fostered. This helps to create an environment where the spouses looks to understand each other and based on the different positives looks to act in a manner that will foster relationship. This ensures that the relationship between the spouses and understanding improves as being able to communicate with each other clearly and the ability to understand each other removes the differences and ensures that the relationship is developed based on area which will look towards long term relationship building. The incident and the use of transactional analysis clearly brings forward the fact that the relationship between me and my husband can be improved if we look towards removing the differences which is present. This clearly gives an indication that the use of transactional analysis will help to remove and reduce the differences which is present among the family and would have helped me to ensure that I was able to develop better and positive relations with my husband. This will help to ensure that the relation which I have with my husband can be further improved and strengthened if I look towards removing the differences and ensuring that proper communication is established. Developing a better framework which used transactional analysis would have helped to remove and reduce the differences between me and my husband and would have strengthen my relationship with my husband. There were situations where my feelings were expressed through my tears but that always took place when I was alone. I didn’t want my husband to realize that I was weak and always portrayed as there was no mistake from my part. I knew and used to cry when I was all alone which helped me understand the feeling and state I was undergoing. I am sure that my husband was experiencing the same pain and agony and his feelings would be similar to what I was undergoing. The entire period was very painful and was full of incidents which were hurting and making me realize that I need to ct and take steps so that the differences can be removed. Using the transactional approach at this juncture would have helped to understand each other better and would have fostered an environment where the differences could have been removed and overall development in the relationship could have been witnessed. It is clearly indicated that the use of transactional analysis would work on such aspects through which communication and relationship between me and my husband would improve. Transactional analysis helps both the spouses to express and convey their messages more clearly and have a better understanding of each other. Systematic practices of the transactional skills will bring a change in the behaviour of spouses and will develop positive interactional patterns which will develop positive communication patterns and will reduce the involvement in stress relating behaviour like criticism, blaming, taunting and tongue-lashing language. This will thereby act as a positive remedy to reduce the ego and understand each other better. This would thereby act as a positive step through which overall dimension through which better relationship can be established can be developed. This would thereby help to ensure that I would be able to understand my husband and based on the needs and requirements would be able to develop my relationship in such manner that it would have a positive impact on my relationship. Transactional analysis thereby helps to remove the ego and looks at understanding the other party so that stance and steps can be taken based on it. This will ensure that the communication process improves and will help to remove the go differences which might be present as an environment which aims towards removing the differences helps to create a culture where the relation between the spouses improves. The overall process will thereby tend to ensure that both the spouses will be able to work in a better manner where they support each other and understand the decision taken by one another. This will help to develop a relationship which is based on trust and mutual understanding and will foster an environment through which overall productivity will be gained and relation will improve over a longer period of time. The essay thereby throws light on one of the incidents which took place between me and mu husband and highlights the different feeling which I underwent through. The situation highlights the lack of understanding and appreciating each other which created small differences and finally led to a major misunderstanding. The use of transactional analysis clearly provides a direction through which the differences which existed between me and my husband could have been removed. This would have fostered an environment where I could have understood my husband better and the development of a proper communication process would have brought the required changes and gained positive results. The development of interpersonal communication strategies and aiming to work on areas through which communication improves will help to bring the required changes and turnaround in my relation. This will help to remove the ego differences which we have and will develop the relationship based on trust and respect for each other. The use of transactional analysis will thereby foster a relationship through which I will be able to ensure better understanding and develop the required environment which is required between the spouses so that relationship flourishes References Berne, E., (2005). 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Karetsky, (2002). Intimacy goals and strategies of conflict resolution in dating relationships: A mediational analysis. J. Soc. Person. Relat., 19(3): 317. Wood, C. and G. Read More