Bullying: Is Aggression a Natural Part of Child Development - Essay Example

Pradeepkumar Mishra Mishra Test 16 Dec 2006 Is aggression a natural part of child development Bullying is usually believed to be an act of repeated unfair social treatment, wherein the victim is treated with either verbal or physical abuse. Bullying can also be related to gaslighting, teasing or stalking, in light of certain cases. Bullying is usually done to derive a sadistic pleasure by inflicting pain on the victim and enjoying a feeling of physical or social superiority. The reason for aggressive behavior in children is, by no stretch of imagination, different from those in grown-ups. Usually the cause of bullying is power-imbalance resulting due to formation of groups in school, based on race, grades(marks is subjects), social status of parents, family background etc. The fact that activity is particularly common in institutionalized schools is particularly suggestive of the fact that school children are more vulnerable Mishra 2 to bullying, the most apparent cause being less fear or knowledge of laws and possible consequences. The other reason that justifies school bullying is the freedom school children exercise in treating their pears, as they don't have to worry about maintaining their decorum, which is usually the primary concern at workplaces. Along with aforementioned reasons, the effect of visual media on small-children can not be ignored. Particularly, the media in the form of video-games and television has done an irrevocable harm by converting the language of violence as a means of fun. These games are easily accessible to children and particularly focus on adventures which demand aggressive behavior for winning. 1Dr. Phil, while explaining the causes and consequences of these violent games says: The number one negative effect is they tend 1 Dr. Phil "Children and Violent Video Games" Mishra 3 to inappropriately resolve anxiety by externalizing it. So when kids have anxiety, which they do, instead of soothing themselves, calming themselves, talking about it, expressing it to someone, or even expressing it emotionally by crying, they tend to externalize it. They can attack something, they can kick a wall, they can be mean to a dog or a pet." Additionally, there's an increased frequency of violent responses from children who play these kinds of video games. Along with computer games, violent movies have played their own part by making violence appear as the only means to achieve one's end and to appear cool. TV channels like AXN and other sports channels keep on showing different programs on wrestling, boxing and other sports, wherein the prowess of violence has been repeatedly exaggerated. Most of these programs have been particularly popular with children. Mishra 4 Children become used to the idea of applying aggression as a mean to achieve their objectives, particularly owing to the fact that more than often, aggressive children are successful in getting their desires fulfilled either owing to tender parents or frightened peers, as 1Nina S. Mount says: Children who think proactively believe that aggression is a legitimate means of getting what they want in social interactions. These children typically view aggression more positively than other children and find it helps them reach their goals. Because most children give in when another child is aggressive, this mistaken value is reinforced. Because these children do not seem to place as a high a value on maintaining social relationships as other children do, they have fewer reasons to avoid behaving aggressively toward their peers. 1 Mount, Nina(1997) (PhD). Aggression and Peer-Rejected Children. The Ohio State University Mishra 5 The most important question raised by the situation is : Is aggressive behavior a natural part of child-development The question can be aptly reframed as: Is aggression in children a manifestation of hormonal or genetic imbalance Or, is aggressive behavior in children impact of their environment The answer to above question can be easily obtained by quantitatively analyzing the cases of bullying, considering the fragmentation both geographically and socially. Answering to the question that why are children aggressive, 1Karen DeBord says: Sometimes children do not have the social skills or self-control to manage their behavior. These must be taught. When 1 DeBord, Karen "The CHILDHOOD AGGRESSION: Where Does it Come From How Can it be Managed"(2000) Mishra 6 children can't find the words to deal with aggressive feelings or are not encouraged to express themselves, they become frustrated. At other times, children cannot cope with growing levels of anger in themselves or in others. In both cases, children need to learn acceptable ways to assert themselves and to learn coping skills. Most of the times, aggression in children is the result of repeated avoidance from friends or families and the consequent frustration. Children like to be the centre of attraction of their parents and can get into extremely aggressive measures, if they are denied. 1Sue Watson explains: The aggressor will rarely have self- confidence and gains it through aggressive behavior. Aggressors are attention seekers and they enjoy the attention they gain from 1 Watson, Sue "The Aggressive Child" (2006) Mishra 7 being aggressive. Power brings attention and the aggressor has learned this. Due to the child's weaker self-image and the fact that he or she doesn't fit in, they try aggressive behavior and soon become leaders, even though they usually know that they are behaving inappropriately. In a project carried out to find the extent of bullying occurring in schools, 1Andrew Mellor mentions: Of the total of 942 pupils, 50% said that they had been bullied at school at least once or twice during their school careers. Slightly fewer (44%) admitted that they had bullied someone else. Less than a third (32%) said that they had never been involved either as bully or victim. It would be easy to use the fact that two thirds had been involved with bullying to create headlines but this would be misleading. Most pupils had only been involved once or twice and had successfully avoided it since. However, a quarter (25%) said that they 1 Mellor, Andrew " Bullying in Scottish Secondary Schools"(1990) http://www.scre.ac.uk/spotlight/spotlight23.html> Mishra 8 had been involved 'sometimes or more often'. A small number (3%) had been both bully and victim but most belonged to only one category. In another such study, an anonymously written article on internet (http://www.education.unisa.edu.au/bullying/harm.html) acclaims: In a given year, about half the school children who are have been surveyed in Australia (currently over 38,000) report that they were not bullied at all. Then there are also those who claim that being bullied did them good. They responded (they say) to the challenge, and became tougher for the experience. And it is true that among those who say they are bullied weekly (some 15% of Australian children) there are some who say they are not really bothered by it. These are often tough, resilient children - fortunate to be so. With small analysis, it can be noticed that bullying in schools is irrespective of financial status of children. Mishra 9 This is apparent from the fact, that nature and cases of bullying in both kinds of schools, educating students from affluent as well as poor backgrounds, is almost similar. The only difference in these kind of schools can be envisaged in terms of topics on which bullying occurs. For example, students with rich background, usually target their victims on the quality, brand name and prices of articles like clothes, watches, shoes etc Whereas, in other schools, the cause for bullying is usually physical. Coming back to original question, whether aggression forms a part of general development of child, it appears, children derive these habits more by scrutinizing their ambience, particularly from the behavior of their parents and other close relatives. The aggression in students of school can also be explained in terms of the behavior they themselves are meted with, either from parents or teachers. Mishra 10 Aggressive parents, in the habit of abusing or beating their children, can cast determining life-long impressions on the psyche of children. The outcome of aggressive behavior on children generally reflects in the form of counter-aggression exercised by the children on their pears as a form of indirect revenge. In the worst case, aggressive behavior can result in filling children with psychological fear of being physically weak and hence leaves them vulnerable to bullying. Another sidelight to the form of bullying can be seen by studying their effect on girls and boys separately. The research clearly indicates the association between aggressive behavior and physical built-up. In case of girls, the bullying is generally verbal, and targeted toward giving the victim a feeling of low-esteem. Mishra 11 On the other hand, in boys, bullying is usually in the form of roughing up the victim, the extent of bullying usually determinable by the frequency of clashes and extent of physical harm rendered to the victim, for a particular age-group. The technique to make victims stand against bullying is usually to make them mentally stronger, and hence demands for a psychological attention. In the case of children exercising bullying also, only psychological methods can be employed to make them act more responsibly towards their peers, give them the respect they deserve and understand their role for promoting equality of treatment. However, the most important task, for prevention of bullying, is to motivate the victims to talk about their plight more expressively, to assure them about their safety, which is much easier said than done. 1Ken Rigby has reported: Informing others about the bullying 1 Rigby, Ken, What Children tell us about bullying in schools (1997) Mishra 12 generally decreases with age as children begin to feel that it is somehow shameful to admit to being the sort of person who "dobs" somebody in. An exception to this trend, however, concerns girls who as they grow older are more likely to tell their friends if they are being bullied. By contrast, as boys become older, they are more inclined to conceal the fact that they are being bullied, even from their friends. It should also be added that one reason for not telling someone, is that often it does not improve the situation. School teachers should be especially trained to handle such cases with due care, so as minimize the harm done on both the victim and perpetrator of bullying. Reprimanding the students found guilty of aggressive behavior by beating them or cutting their rights can lead to temporary avoidance of physical behavior but long term solution demands due attention towards such cases. Mishra 13 Giving harsh punishments to children for controlling their aggressive behavior can backfire in much unexpected form with many undesired psychological changes in children as 1Kimberly L. Keith says: Harsh physical punishment and abuse also lead to an aggressive pattern of externalizing painful emotions. Aggression in children is related to Oppositional Defiant and Conduct Disorders. These disorders set the stage for many long years of delinquency, substance abuse, poor relationships, and maladaptation in young adulthood. The destructive cycle is only stopped by learning self-control, a lesson best learned in childhood. Students found guilty of highly aggressive behavior, should be taken to psychologists, and the cause for their behavior should be recognized. In some cases, a bully, acting in the fit of rage, may 1 Keith, Kimberly "My Child Has a Problem - Aggression", Parenting of K-6 children,(2006) ultimately become self-conscious of his behavior and fall in depression. As 1Ken Rigby mentions: Normally one would expect a sense of triumph or pleasure at achieving the desired effect of causing, in Olweus's terms, injury or discomfort. In the case of the malign bully, one would be surprised if the perpetrator is not pleased when he or she has reduced a victim to tears. But even here one has to be careful. The immediate gratification felt by a bully may give way, in time, to a sense of remorse. The other half of responsibility of eliminating such behavior from schools lies on the shoulders of parents. Parents should pay extra attention to their children found either guilty or being the target of bullying. It can be stated on the basis of current observations 1 Rigby, Ken "Defining bullying: a new look at an old concept"(2006) Mishra 15 that, just like in any other part of society, in school also, bullying usually results from the anti-social behavior acquired by the students from their society, and hence the heart of the solution lies in giving the students an environment, in which equality of behavior is practiced and valued, and unusual aggressive behavior is condemned. It has been observed that habits and behaviors acquired by children are hard to get rid of in later stages of life. Both the aggressor and the victim can be in for an unhealthy form of life, if their behaviors are not changed in early stages of their development. Teachers and parents should understand the necessity of viewing the traits of their children regularly and handle any aggressive behavior on the part of their children with due maturity. Sometimes, both parents and teachers remain dependent upon each other for the upbringing of their children, which can result in undesired developments. Mishra 16 The children should be encouraged to complain about any case of aggression on the part of their peers immediately both to the parents and teachers so that immediate steps can be taken to identify problematic children. The victims of bullying shall be made to understand that the act of aggression committed towards them should not be taken as a personal effrontery as more than often, the bullies act in response to their intrinsic nature than due to hatred for an individual. 1Edel Jarboe explains: If you keep in mind that the bully's aggression comes from an internalized lack, such as insecurity, anxiety and depression, you may become less personally affected by however this lack presents itself. The intrapsychic damage, terror or pain which is being exhibited through aggression has 1 Jarboe, Edel "I'm Rubber and You're Glue: Handling Emotional Bullies" (2004) Mishra 17 nothing to do with you nor with anyone else. Children should be taught the value of co-operation with their friends along with the negative consequences of bullying and aggressive behavior. The most effective weapon to tackle bullying is courage. Instead of blaming their weakness for being bullied, the victims should try to gather due courage and respond to the bullies in a man-to-man manner. They should assertively tell the bullies that they are increasingly bothered by their behavior and continuation of such a behavior may lead to undesired troubles for both of them. The other remedy suggested for coping with bullying is 'Group Counseling'. Although this method can, at times, prove to be highly effective, its adoption should be subject to the scale of bullying happening. Mishra 18 Even though, this method of coping bullying can yield good results, adoption of this method can lead to some undesired and awkward circumstances, particularly when parents or teachers also participate in such sessions, as told by 1Chuck T. Falcon: Group counseling is popular in many prevention programs for youths at risk or in trouble, but studies show it is ineffective and can cause more delinquency and crime, especially in teenagers. Putting troubled youths together often encourages negative behaviors, and frequent talk in these groups about problems with parents may weaken respect for parents and family closeness. Peer mediation programs teaching troubled youth to intervene with anger management and conflict resolution skills can lead to increased violence However, if duly practiced in an appropriate environment, it can help victims regain courage and the bullies identify their problems and behave responsibly. 1 Falcon, Chuck "Fighting and Bullying in Children and Schools" 2004 from Mishra 19 Cited References Mellor, Andrew " Bullying in Scottish Secondary Schools", 1990 Rigby, Ken "Defining bullying: a new look at an old concept" retrieved Dec 2006 from Rigby, Ken, "What Children tell us about bullying in schools ", 1997, Keith, Kimberly "My Child Has a Problem - Aggression", Parenting of K-6 children, retrieved 2006 from Mount, Nina(1997) (PhD). Aggression and Peer-Rejected Children. The Ohio State University Dr. Phil "Children and Violent Video Games" Retrieved from < http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/297> Watson, Sue "The Aggressive Child" Retrieved Dec 2006 from Mishra 20 DeBord, Karen "The CHILDHOOD AGGRESSION: Where Does it Come From How Can it be Managed" Dec, 2000 from Jarboe, Edel "I'm Rubber and You're Glue: Handling Emotional Bullies" Feb, 2004 from Falcon, Chuck "Fighting and Bullying in Children and Schools" 2004 from Read More