Selecting a Mate: Why Marriage Matters - Essay Example

Selecting a Mate: Why Marriage Matters The word ‘marriage’ is a beautiful composition of eight syllables. It presupposes a relationship between the two and an ideal union that is expected to flow together harmoniously. The traditional marriage speaks about the union of two distinctive individuals! This union of one man and one woman is a personal relationship with great public significance. Marriage provides amiable and ideal conditions for bearing and raising children. The institution of marriage is generally for the common good with specific benefits. Selecting a Mate In this era of materialistic civilization, selection process of a mate is as good as planning a ‘world war’. I want my life-partner to be a good human being first and willing to give me the rightful place a woman desires in the martial relationship. I look forward for a long-term fulfilling relationship and the word that I hate most is ‘divorce’. My age being 33 years, I am now mature enough to take a decision that does not belong to the world of emotions and feelings. I am aware of the long-term consequences of committing to a relationship would happen by direct interaction or through indirect resources and the data about the person in whom I would be interested after preliminary talks. Feelings are important in marriage relationships but I would give preference to hard facts to arrive at the judgement. I am respectful to myself and during my interaction/s I will let my partner know what is important to me. I will let him know that secular and spiritual needs are integral part of my life. I have a goal in life and I would not like to be restricted within the four walls of the house with domestic responsibilities, alone. I have no problems whether my partner is a businessman, self-employed or a professional working for any reputed organisation. But his earnings should be sufficient enough for the maintenance of a family, even if I choose not to take up a job/continue with my existing job. I would prefer a vegetarian and a non-smoker. I do not mind the race/nationality to which he belongs and as for religious beliefs I would prefer a Christian. He should be healthy and physically attractive. I definitely prefer marital loyalty but if he had any intimate relationships in the past, I expect it to be told to me and frankly discussed but I will not make an issue out of it as casual relationships happen in the first flush of enthusiasm when one is young. I will frankly provide any information that he wants to know from me and the details about my family background. After I am satisfied about the preliminary details about the individual, I would like to know him better. But I will decide about the individual within one or two meetings. I realise it is unwise to spend a lot of time with someone who does not fit into my scheme of things. I will certainly take care to see that I do not develop any emotional bond but I will remain respectful to the person in whom I will not be interested. After tentatively arriving at a decision about my choice, I would approach my parents with the proposal, besides requesting my one or two close friends about their opinion on the man. My friends have clearly told me that they would not be interested in a boy from the African American & White American communities. They do not have objection for a boy from any other community provided he is a Christian. They do not favor inter-religious marriages but they are not die-hard orthodox people. The boy I have selected is the second generation Asian American and my parents have no objection for this alliance. His age is 36 and he is 3 years senior to me and that is perfect as for my my parent’s opinion. I always wanted a highly educated intellectual as my life partner and this man is a post-graduate and he is a partner in a consultancy firm that advises multinational investment companies. He is a Methodist Christian and even though we are Catholics, this is considered not much of a problem by my parents and I have absolutely no objections whatsoever. I requested for a medical examination certificate and I have promised that I will furnish the same certifying physical fitness and fortunately he has come out clean out of the various important medical tests and I was much pleased when I came to know that he does not take any alcoholic drinks. Interracial marriages: There is nothing wrong in principle, about interracial dating and marriages. The current generation is mostly educated and has broader perspectives. Some of my friends are married thus and they do not face any race problems. The boy of my choice belongs to a different race and we appreciate each other as human beings, and not as racial entities. I do not see any particular problems, religious in particular, as he too is a practicing Christian. Let me emphasise here that Christ in the heart is more important than cross on the neck! None of my relatives are married interracially. My parents have no objection for this interracial marriage, and I do not care much for the opinion of others. …..After a few meetings, and after my parents consented for this marriage proposal, I told him that I need about six months for the actual marriage to take place. He was considerate and agreed. But during weekends we meet to discuss about our future plans. In the meantime he gave me the exciting news that his thesis for the Doctorate has been approved. I am happy that my would-be will have the prefix of Dr. to his name. My God, he is poet as well! How cleverly has he concealed this information from me! He writes: “Your words are like fresh honey from the bee-hive, They keep million hopes alive!” “Love is bird with colorful wings that remains in the heart caged, And moves there with tantalising speed to make one a bard!” Hope to know more about him and understand and appreciate him better! Read More