A Bad Time to Raise a Daughter - Research Paper Example

A bad time to raise a daughter Raising a daughter in present day is a great challenge, occasioned by the fact that the rate of growth has greatly increased, the diet has changed, the technology and the social environment is different, while sex has ceased to be a preserve of the married, becoming an indulgence of all and sundry (Stern, 23). Thus, the challenges have been occasioned by the fact that the society is passing information that is not so appropriate for the healthy upbringing of the girl child. The advertisements through the media, the scenes in the movies, the access to sexual content on the internet, connectivity, and friendships that are easily forged on the social sites has subscribed to these challenges (Gurian, 4). With such factors contributing to the challenges, then there has never been a bad time of raising a daughter, than it is today. This is mostly true, when the daughter is at her teenage or adolescent stage of her life. At these stages, their character is featured by resentment and aggression, as they try to experiment and experience the real world, which is in contrast to their parents wish. The greatest challenge is normally experienced in helping the daughter through the process of transition from the puberty to adolescent stage, mostly due to the emotional and physical changes taking place in their bodies, creating curiosity, and the need for adventure (Braun, 10). Thus, raising a daughter during her teenage and adolescent stages is a bad time for parents. Magical thinking, imagination and fantasizing are the elements that characterize the state of mind of girls at these stages (Braun, 8). Therefore, helping them to base their thinking on reality of the world as it is, doing away with their wishful thinking and handling their highs and lows is an important aspect of raising the daughter (Stern, 24). Making her understand what is happening to her body, her emotions, and hormonal changes, as well as making this appear normal is a tough task that parents should take up. Since the body and physical looks starts becoming an important consideration for such girls at these stages, then, helping them understand why these changes in their bodies occur, form the parental perspective, thus avoiding any chance of them being informed on the same from bad company is crucial (McCarthy, 7). Since their sexual activities and desires starts accelerating at this stage, then protecting the girls from interactions and socializations that can lead to the same is a daunting task for the parents. Any attempt to protect or discourage them from such indulgence is greeted with rebellion (Gurian, 4). This can go a long way in souring the relationship between the daughter and her parents, if the issue is not addressed well. Since these are the stages at which, her social and interaction behaviors are fully developed, then isolating her from others is not the perfect move. The parent role towards the positive behavioral development of their daughters will involve helping them associate with the right company, taking caution of any interaction consequences that might interfere with their wellbeing (Braun, 13). Considering that at this stage such girls deems independence and privacy from their parents a priority, then devising strategies of remaining an important part of their every activity and move is another challenging task for such parents raising teenage and adolescent daughters (Stern, 28). Paramount is the fact that confidence and self-esteem issues affect girls at these stages. This impact on how such girls feel about themselves, including how they pursue and value their talents and abilities (McCarthy, 11). At this stage, the body shape, fashion, clothing and style, as well as material possession becomes a center stage of the girls thinking. Thus, demanding items, they perceive most appropriate for their style and fashion, regardless of their parents’ ability to afford them becomes an order of the day. If this is not properly handled, then, it develops to become a source of conflict between the girls and their parents. This situation is worse, if the daughter is an only child of the family, since she perceives her needs as fundamental, which should be met without questioning (Gurian, 5). Under such a case, parents need to be cautious not to give in to every demand of their daughter, while ensuring they give them what is sufficient and relevant for boosting their confidence and self-esteem. This serves to make the daughter feel appreciated and thus fits in well in the company of her friends, which eliminates the chances of her falling trap into dirty tricks of gaining material possession that her parents did not provide in exchange for sexual affairs, which may end up damaging her self-esteem even more. In helping parents overcome such challenges as posed by raising their teenage and adolescent daughters, several aspects of good parenting are essential. Making teenage and adolescent daughters feel loved and appreciated is a major step towards making parenting easier. This is important since daughters who feel loved will mostly listen to, and respects the suggestions and decisions made by their parents, as opposed to those ones who feel unappreciated. The feeling of being unwanted will most likely cause such daughters to rebel and resent their parents, and thus end up taking decisions that are against their parents wish, which may end up hurting them (McCarthy, 3). Monitoring what the daughter is accessing, watching and reading as well as practicing is vital for parents to enhance their daughters’ mental and emotional health (Braun, 14). Considering that what an individual watches and listens to subscribes to the development of their values and character, then, ensuring that they watch and listen to items that will build on their virtues helps to mould their character development. Additionally, spending quality time with such daughters and ensuring involvement in their concerns, needs, and emotions helps to help them accept and adapt to the nature of life and the changes taking place. Setting rules with the daughter regarding such issues as the activities she should participate in, the time, she should leave and get back home as well as her duties and roles serves to ease the tension between parents and their daughters. However, this should be done through negotiation, to avoid rebellion and resentment, which may strain the relationship between the parents and the daughter, even further (Stern, 31). According to Gurian, “Supporting her emotional stability, through boosting her self-esteem and confidence is a vital aspect of raising a teenage or adolescent daughter (7)”. This can be enhanced by encouraging her to speak out her mind, while at the same time limiting the choices she has to make through parental guidance. In so doing, the daughter becomes comfortable with her choices and engages in them with full confidence. Addressing the areas where the daughter fails positively, coupled with countering the negative effects of media and other stereotypes through positive guidance, assists in a greater way to ensure that the daughter is headed the right way as she approaches adulthood (Stern, 33). Works Cited Braun, Ellen. Teenage Growth and Development. Palo Alto Medical Foundation, 2001. 9-14.print. Gurian, Anita. How to Raise Girls with Healthy Self-Esteem. NYU child study center, 2008. 4-7. Print. McCarthy, Moira. Developing Emotional Maturity: Helping Her Emotional Maturity Develop. The New York Times Company, 2009. 3-11. Print. Stern, Joanne. How to Handle Rebellious Teenage Daughters. Psychology Today, 2011. 23-35. Print. Read More